Scott stood up and moved closer to her. “Much to my personal sorrow, I think the only things we have are diet drinks. Have a seat and I will fix it for you.”
After several minutes, he returned to the deck with her drink in hand. She was sitting on the edge of the hot tub with her feet in the water looking at the magazine. She looked up at Scott as he handed her the drink. “I hope you don’t mind me soaking my feet. You looked very peaceful and comfortable when I walked up.”
After he sat beside her, Scott asked the obvious question. “How are you feeling?”
She looked up at the sky before turning to face him. “I could spend all day answering that question. The short answer is I feel cheap, stupid, and out of control.”
“That’s not a bad thing for you feel that way.”
She was confused by his answer and it showed in her expression. “You don’t think so?”
“No. It seems to me that people need to know where they are before they can decide how to get where they’re going. If you feel stupid, then it’s time to get smart.”
She glanced at him for a moment before looking away. “I guess it’s safe to say I made a fool out of myself again last night, just like every other night when I go out drinking.”
It would have been ridiculous for Scott to paint a picture for her that they both knew was not real. “You added a little excitement to the party.”
“You could have gotten hurt. I’m not sure why you took the chance to help me.” She said, as she looked back at him.
Scott thought for a moment before he gave her a truthful answer. “After I saw the blood on your arm, I knew you didn’t want to hurt me. You wanted to hurt yourself. It wasn’t that much of a risk, but we still need to get you to a better place than you are at right now.”
She asked Scott a question for which he had know way of knowing the answer, but she needed to hear an answer. “Do you think I can get to a better place?”
Scott turned to face her just as she looked at him. “You can absolutely get there, but your time is running out.”
“Why do you say time is running out?” She asked.
He wasn’t sure how much he should say, but Scott opted for what he thought was the truth. “Look at your arm. Women don’t usually use a knife to hurt themselves. You had to be fairly angry to do that.”
She looked away from him. “It wasn’t anger. It was depression.”
Scott challenged her assumption. “Some people think depression is nothing more than anger turned inward. Whatever you’re feeling, we have to get a grip on it before it takes you over the cliff.”
Amie took a swallow of her Coke before she responded. “The doctor gave me a hard time this morning. She said that when a total stranger has to drag my ass off the street, then I had better wake up and start smelling the flowers. I think she’s right.”
“How is your arm feeling this morning?”
“It hurts and the doctor is almost sure it will leave a scar. I guess I can add that to my long list of stupid things I’ve done.” She replied, as she stared at the bandage.
Amie looked at Scott for a moment before she started to stand up. “You’re here on vacation and I don’t think I should waste any more of your time. Thank you for what you did last night.”
He put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from getting up. “Where are you going?”
She waited for a few moments before she shook her head slowly. “I don’t know where I am going. The doctor wants me to check myself in at a detoxification center.”
He kept his hand on her shoulder. “That sounds like the right place to start.”
“I know it sounds right and by next weekend, I’ll be back in the same mess I’m in now. It never stops.” She replied.
The sense of defeat was in her voice, her eyes, and in her expression. Scott realized if he was going to be of any use to Amie, he had to act now. “If you don’t have anywhere you need to be right now, would you do something for me?”
“I’ll try, but I guess it depends on what you need.”
Scott then told her his suggestion. “Last night Beth told me about you and one of the things she said was that you were drop dead gorgeous. She was right. Why don’t you let me take you to lunch and then all the other guys will think I am the luckiest man on earth.”
She noticed it was almost eleven-fifteen when she looked at her cell phone. “Beth told me this morning that you were a nice guy. I would love to go to lunch with you.”
“Where did you see Beth?”
“I called her this morning to pick me up at the hospital so I could come back here and get my car.”
Scott left Michelle a note, picked up his wallet and they left for the restaurant. During lunch, they talked about college, their recent graduation, and their plans for the future. He learned much more about Amie and a few things about her past. She was very well read and had a broad range of interests.
Once they finished lunch, Scott persuaded her to come with him to visit Fort Macon, which was only a short drive from the restaurant. After arriving at the fort, they walked around looking at the casements where the civil war soldiers once quartered. They then climbed the old brick stairs that led to the top of the fort where the cannons had once been mounted on handmade brick pads. It was in the grass next to a cannon mount where they chose to sit.
From high atop the fort, they could see Bouge inlet, and they could see the ocean. Below them, the tourists were continuing to meander through the fort. It was also here where Scott hoped to convince her to consider treatment.
While they were watching people coming and going, Scott made a passing comment. “The soldiers that were here had to live through oppressive heat, sleep on a hay filled mattress infested with insects, fight of malaria, live with frigid cold winds, never having enough to eat, and taking incoming enemy gunfire.”
She nodded her head. “It makes you wonder how they survived all of that.”
“I don’t know, but when it was all over, they came out stronger than ever.” He replied.
A very noticeable grin became apparent before she spoke. “You wouldn’t be trying to tell me something, would you?”
“It’s not going to be easy for you to turn your life around, but it can be done. You’re smart enough to figure all this out without me telling you, but I want you to know you are not alone.”
“Do you honestly think I can pull off a reset on my life? Do you think I even deserve another chance or that I can get to a better place?” Amie asked.
“Yes, you deserve all the chances you need and yes, I believe in you.”
“How can you be so sure about me when you don’t even know who I am? I’ve done some lousy things in my life.” She replied as she looked away from him.
Scott thought for a moment. “Did you ever write a paper in school and get half way finished, realize it was a lousy paper and then throw it away, only to start over? You then turned in the new paper and you got a good grade on it.”
“Many times. I was a communications major and I am very familiar with re-writes” Amie replied.
“That’s what you are getting ready to do with your life. You’re going to throw away the bad pages and start over and re-write your life. I think you have to go through a dark night of the soul and when it’s over, you will have won.” Scott replied.
She looked very surprised with his comment. “When you talk about the dark night of the soul, are you describing the work of Thomas Aquinas? I wouldn’t have seen you as being very religious.”
“I’m surprised you knew what I was talking about and made that connection with Thomas Aquinas. My religion has nothing to do with our conversation or with what I would like for your future. I was in the hot tub yesterday trying to talk to Beth, Michelle into taking off their tops instead of them just sitting there torturing me. No. The way I use the dark night is not a religious thing, but it is a blueprint for you to consider. But if you prefer, then it is a religious thing.”
She lo
oked off at the ocean as she considered his suggestion. “The first stage of Dark Night of the soul deals with the purification of the senses. The second stage deals with the purification of the spirit.”
Scott finished her thought. “And, it defines the ten steps on the mystical ladder of love.”
She started to nod her head. “So you believe this is a plan for me to get my life to a better place. This is a very interesting idea but I never imagined you and I would be having this discussion.”
“What I’m trying to say is that you have to climb the ladder one step at the time, but I know you can do it. All you have to do right now is put your hands on the ladder and take the first step.”
She looked directly at him as she replied. “Why on earth do you believe in me after everything I have done?”
Scott replied without any hesitation. “You have a place within the Universal Mind and I’m just here to help you find it.”
“I don’t think I understand the concept of the Universal Mind. In fact, I have never heard that expression.” She replied after some thought.
Scott leaned over and gave Amie a soft kiss on the lips before he spoke. “Start with the kiss we just gave each other and then slowly look around at everything you see. Look at the people, the grass, the sea gulls, the sky, the ocean, and everything you can see, smell, hear, and feel. Then, close your eyes and sit here quietly for a few minutes and it will come to you.”
After five minutes of silence, she looked at him with a smile. “I think I am beginning to understand. The Universal Mind is something that’s bigger than you and me. It’s everything and we have a place in the scheme of everything.”
“I think you found the Universal Mind. There is a lot of peace there, if you can wrap your head around the concept.” Scott explained.
She wasn’t being critical, but she was curious about how he would respond to her question. “Does the Universal Mind allow guys to treat me like a piece of trash and then just walk away, leaving me lying wherever they found me with no regard for me or my safety?”
Scott shook his head emphatically. “No, but it does teach you the self respect and self discipline not to allow yourself to be in that situation in the first place. When we talk about the Universal Mind, we are talking about a state of being and not some force that allows bad things to happen.”
She put her hand on his shoulder before she spoke. “I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
“We have to make sure you have the people to help you get where you are going. You are not going to be alone.” Scott replied.
She considered her situation for a few moments. “My mom and dad will help me if they know I am serious about making some changes. I still have a few friends like Beth that I can depend on, too. However, if I am going to do this, then you have to be on my side too. We have to make a deal right now that you don’t just walk away from me. I like your idea of the Universal Mind and I want us to talk more about it. If I am going to live the dark night of the soul, you have to walk there with me.”
“I am going to be on the road a lot and I can’t always be there with you when you need help.” Scott replied.
She was insisting on a connection between them. “You have Facebook, email, a cell phone, and a car. We can find a way to talk to each other and sometimes be with each other, if you’ll do that for me.”
Scott nodded in agreement. “You do what you are supposed to do and I will be there with you. Did the doctor help you set out a plan?”
“She did, and we have already gotten the process started. I start out with thirty days in detox and I began seeing someone as soon as Tuesday of next week. I know it will be hard, but I think I can do this. I want you to hold my hand while I’m going through this, even if you are five hundred miles away.”
Scott stood up and extended his hand, and Amie showed no hesitation in taking it. After a long hug, they continued to hold hands as they went down the steps on the way to the car. As they left the fort entrance, they stopped on the wooden breezeway to finish their conversation.
Amie waited for several people to pass by before she spoke. “You have no idea what a liar I am. I’ve promised so many people I would try to get better, only to let them all down. This time when I fall from grace, you’ll know I tried to warn you.”
“Within the Universal Mind, you don’t fail. We just keep going until we get it right.” Scott replied.
Amie started smiling. “If all you wanted was to get me in bed, we could have done that this morning. Why are you trying to help me?”
Scott leaned against the railing and considered her question. “You are not the only one that has to deal with the dark night of the soul, but I will make you a deal. If you meet me in Swansboro on Monday, I’ll change your life in a way that you can’t even begin to imagine.”
“That’s a big promise.” She replied with a grin.
Scott agreed with her. “It is a big promise, but you will also get a nice lunch at Captain Charley’s restaurant, just in case I let you down.”
She looked somewhat suspicious as she considered his offer. “And what do you get out of this deal?”
Scott took her hand as they started for the parking lot. “I get two things out of it. I get to be seen in public with a very attractive intelligent woman, and if I am lucky, I may get another piece of the puzzle that makes up the Universal Mind. And if I get really lucky, I may find enough absolution that I can sleep without the ghosts invading my mediation.”
Amie squeezed his hand. “This is going to be a very interesting lunch date. I don’t let people see my heart and soul, not that many have tried. I have a feeling you will find a way to see the darkest part of my soul and that’s a scary proposition for me.”
As they reached the car, Scott opened the door for Amie. “What should really scare you is keeping the demons inside of you and letting them destroy your life.”
As she sat in the front seat, she looked up at him. “That’s true, but sometimes they refuse to leave.”
Scott looked back at her and replied, “In that case then maybe they just need a swift kick in the ass to get them out.”
Once they were on their way, she started smiling. “So, Beth and Michelle have been torturing you. I’ll have to have a word with them.”
“Don’t worry about them for now, just focus on you.”
Now, where are you going from here? What’s our plan?”
She lightly punched him on the arm. “I see you’re already checking on me. I can’t cheat if you are going to be watching me around the clock. Anyway, I’m going to leave here, go home, and have a long talk with my parents. I have already called them and they are expecting me.”
Scott wanted her to believe that she had people on her side that would be there for her. “That sounds ideal and I will be watching. Give me a call later tonight and let me know how the meeting with your parents went.”
Amie smiled as she looked out the window while they drove the last few miles to his house. “Yes daddy.”
Scott pulled the car into the driveway. “Your daddy will be a piece of cake compared to me. We don’t stop until we win, even if you slip along the way.”
“Don’t leave me hanging out alone to fight the monster.” She replied.
Michelle and Beth were sitting on the deck talking when Amie and Scott came through the door. Beth turned to Michelle while shaking her head. “We turn our backs on him for five minutes, and he goes out chasing other women.”
Scott puffed out his chest in pure arrogance as he explained his situation. “I don’t chase women. I catch women and I happen to have caught a very special girl today. After all, when the cat is away, the mice play.”
Beth went on to introduce Michelle and Amie to each other. Scott was surprised that Amie remembered Michelle had been with her on the trip to the hospital. In fact, he was surprised that Amie remembered any of them given her condition. After fixing everyone a diet drink, they sat on the deck and talked for several minutes.
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Amie winked at Scott as she spoke to Michelle. “I understand that you and Beth have been making Scott suffer in the hot tub.”
Michelle was smiling as she defended her team. “We allowed Scott to sit with us in the Jacuzzi yesterday. Being there with two girls made his ego a little inflated and we had to bring him down a few notches. We didn’t do anything to him other than just sit there.”
Amie looked at Scott and then at Beth. “In his mind, when you just sit and talk without doing anything else, that is torture.”
Beth glanced at Michelle. “We are trying to teach Scott the art of self discipline. We want him to learn that when he looks at a woman, he should look at our faces and not our boobs.”
Scott acted as if he understood her logic. “So the reason you wear two piece swimsuits is so I’ll look at your face. That makes perfect sense now and that plan should really work out well for you.”
Amie gave Scott a hug before she stepped away. “I have to be going, but I wanted to thank all of you for what you have done. Scott has me on a new spiritual journey and right now, I need all the help I can get.”
Michelle and Beth stood up and gave Amie a hug. “Be careful. His spiritual journeys tend to end up in a hot tub with half naked women.”
Beth explained that she was going to walk with Amie back to her car and she would see them later. Amie made sure Scott could hear what she was saying before they turned to walk away. “Next September when I am doing better, I want to come back here with you and Michelle and help torture Scott in the hot tub. That could be fun. I’ll show you girls how to really drive him crazy.”
Scott gave her a quick hug. “You are supposed to check in with me tonight, so don’t forget.”
“You’re right, you are worse than my dad, but I’ll call you.” Amine and Beth then turned away and walked down the boardwalk.
Scott put his arm around Michelle as they watched them disappear down the steps to the beach. It was then that Michelle made her observation. “I have some serious doubts about being seen in public with you.”
“Why is that?” Scott asked.
Brother Willy's Traveling Salvation Show Page 15
