by Beth Elliott
Broome stared into the middle distance and announced, ’I regret that Miss Kitty is not able to receive visitors at present, sir.’
Theo glared at him in mounting frustration. If only Kitty were not the subject of scandalous gossip, he would push past and find the ladies for himself. But as it was, the last thing she needed was for him to create more gossip with a tale of men chasing her even into her home.
He directed a thunderous glare at Broome, who continued to stand impassively in the doorway. Biting back a curse, Theo turned on his heel. He struggled with a suddenly raging temper as he strode across the square. But by the time he rounded the corner into Bond Street, he had remembered his cousin’s warning and managed to school his face into a bland mask.
Etienne de Saint-Aubin was not the only agent working for Lord Dalbeagh and his cronies. Theo knew he must appear to follow his usual pursuits and act normally. He would certainly be under suspicion because of his friendship with Greg. How much easier it would all be, thought Theo grimly, if he could just be certain that Kitty was getting better.
He grimaced, remembering when the doctor had removed that damned bullet. She had suffered terribly and he had felt powerless to help, even though he did the practical things like sponging her head and holding her still for the doctor to extract the lead ball. Then Martha had arrived and he and Greg set off again to get down to Portsmouth. Indeed, they were in such haste to reach Portsmouth before Greg’s boat set sail that they could not wait to see how Kitty recovered. The last time he had seen her, she was still unconscious, her face as white as the sheets on her bed.
‘Why, Theo Weston! What an age since we saw you in town. But you are alone…?’
Theo looked up and found himself face to face with Miss Harling and her companion. Rousing from his thoughts, he touched his hat. ‘Good day to you, ma’am.’ He made to carry on along the street but Miss Harling put out a hand to stop him.
‘It is also a long time since we have seen Miss Towers. We are wondering what has befallen her.’
Theo looked down his nose. ‘I could not possibly say.’
‘But you have just come from Grosvenor Square,’ purred Miss Harling, her eyes alight with malice. ‘There does appear to be some mystery about her disappearance.’
‘If you say so,’ snapped Theo. ‘It is no concern of mine, but you will no doubt discover the truth from herself. Pray excuse me, ma’am, I have an urgent appointment.’ He crossed the street and plunged into the alleyway. Damn all gossips! If Kitty knew anything about this, she would insist on keeping him at a distance, just to prove her independence. Theo sensed he needed an urgent outlet for his unruly temper. With a curse, he turned about and made for Jackson’s Boxing Saloon.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
‘Do you not need a sling to hold your arm still?’ asked Amelia. She and Kitty were pacing slowly round Grosvenor Square in the afternoon sunshine.
‘My arm is quite comfortable so long as I move it gently,’ replied Kitty. ‘You do not expect me to come out looking a figure of fun, do you? And besides, we must not let anyone know that it is a gunshot wound. I have sprained my arm falling from a carriage – and had a chill as well.’
‘Certainly, anyone would believe that – you look so thin and pale, Kitty. But I would say it comes more from a lack of spirits than from physical ill health.’ Amelia looked at her carefully.
‘It has been a difficult time,’ began Kitty, knowing she could not explain that her heart was broken and life seemed to stretch ahead like a dreary desert. ‘My aunt is still recovering from the worry over my disappearance and from the shock of Etienne’s behaviour. He was a great favourite of hers.’ She paused, swallowing back the tide of anger at how Etienne had used her aunt to get close to herself.
They paced on for a while. At length Kitty was able to control her voice enough to continue, ‘She has received a letter from him to tell her he has gone to look for his sister. As she lives in Moscow, that is a way of saying that he will not be reappearing in London – for which I am heartily thankful.’
‘So am I,’ agreed Amelia, ‘His behaviour has been so very shocking. It must be very painful to realize how you were deceived in him.’ She glanced at Kitty. ‘I cannot imagine how you must have felt when you came round in the coach and discovered that he had kidnapped you. It is wonderful you were rescued so quickly.’
They had reached a bench and both sat down. Kitty raised her head to look at the young leaves just unfurling on the branches. ‘I find I am not so tired any more,’ she said, ‘tomorrow perhaps we could walk as far as Hookham’s Library.’
When there was no reply to this, she leaned forward and looked curiously at her friend. ‘Millie…?’
Amelia stared at her out of wide, anxious eyes. ‘I— if you wish it.’
‘Why is there a problem?’
Amelia fidgeted with her reticule. ‘Well, perhaps it is time to tell you the whole story. You see, Kitty, when you left the exhibition at the Royal Academy, Miss Walmseley understood you were feeling unwell. But you did not return home … and when there was no sign of you by the next day some of the more spiteful young ladies began setting it about that you had run off.’ She eyed Kitty’s face of disbelief and went on in a rush: ‘It was unfortunate that three young men of our circle all disappeared at exactly that same time. So.…’
‘Oh, what a silly tale!’ Kitty went quite pink with anger. ‘How can people be so foolish?’ She shook her head. ‘So, I am a figure of fun?’ She jumped up, needing to move about. Amelia joined her as they set off around the square once more.
‘I am afraid that it is more serious than that. Even though it is all untrue, some people may consider you to be compromised.’
‘What?’ Kitty almost shouted.
‘Oh, do not allow it to upset you so. I wish I had not told you; no doubt it will all die down shortly.’
‘You are saying society has condemned me through ill-informed gossip. So I am compromised! I must either hide away or be married to save my reputation! Hah!’ Kitty almost choked with rage. This was the last straw. After being kidnapped, fighting to save vital military secrets and being shot, she was to be condemned as a girl of no moral principles. They had almost reached the house before she could control her feelings enough to speak again.
‘I am not going to be blamed for something I did not do,’ she stated in a tight voice. ‘And I can guess who is behind these foolish tales about me.’ She glanced at Amelia, who was watching her with an expression of mingled alarm and admiration. ‘Do you think we could go for a drive in the park tomorrow?’
‘But of course. It is wonderful to have your company once more,’ said Amelia.
It was past midnight and Kitty was still pacing her bedroom. After such unkind news, she found it impossible to subdue the anger she felt. As she had thought, society lived on gossip and shallow ideas. Why, if a quarter of what she had heard was to be believed, a great many ladies had dark secrets to conceal. It seemed that the only unforgivable sin was to do something that could not be hidden.
Kitty frowned. She would go about her usual daily activities and ignore those people who chose to condemn her. Indeed, it was her duty to act in such a way. She had worked it out for herself that Greg’s business was too secret to be mentioned. Amelia had said that she looked pale and thin – well, that could be set down to a chill.
She paced across the room again, head down. In addition to all this, she had to bear the never-ending unhappiness of knowing she had lost Theo. Perhaps it would not seem so bad if he were marrying a girl she could respect and admire. But Letitia Payne was the very worst wife he could have.
Kitty rubbed her lips. She drew a trembling breath. Theo’s face came to mind, the way those bright blue eyes had smiled at her at the ball. If only he had not turned so cold afterwards.
Her memory of the shooting was hazy but she could remember how Theo had cradled her in his arms and encouraged her to hang on. He had kissed her as well. She could rememb
er that perfectly well. And now he was avoiding her. They could only be strangers from now on. A tear slid down her cheek.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Kitty surveyed her appearance in the mirror. Somehow, her eyes appeared rather larger than they used to. Perhaps her face was indeed thinner, as Amelia had said. It was definitely still pale. Otherwise, thanks to Martha’s help, she was looking fashionable with her hair swept up and little tendrils carefully arranged around her cheeks and behind her ears. Martha clasped the pearl necklet round Kitty’s throat.
‘There, miss, you do look fine.’ She smiled at Kitty in the mirror. Kitty considered the smart dress of sprigged muslin. The soft pink material gave her a little colour and set off her chestnut hair beautifully. She put her chin up.
‘This time I am using my appearance as a weapon,’ she said.
She shook her head when Martha offered her the sling. ‘My shoulder is better now. In any case, I shall not need to move my arm very much.’
‘Where is your sling?’ In the drawing-room great-aunt Picton inspected Kitty.
‘I really do not need it any more,’ said Kitty, trying to smile at the old lady. ‘Besides, it would ruin the appearance of this lovely dress Miss Dilworth has made.’
Lady Picton nodded. ‘It is charming, I agree. That light pink is exactly the right colour for you. But I do think, my dear, that you have grown thinner, even since you returned to me. Are you sure you feel well enough for this outing?’
‘Indeed, ma’am. With such a close friend as Amelia, I can be at ease – and you may be sure she will look after me.’ Kitty made a little business of pulling on her pelisse and adjusting her bonnet. It is time I showed my face again or people will be thinking I have left town. Now, where did I put my parasol? Oh, there it is.’ She went over to the side table near the door to pick it up.
Lady Picton still sounded anxious. ‘Very well, dear child. But do not stay out too long. I could wish you looked more robust. What your dear mother would say if she could see you, I dread to think.’
Every step downstairs and out to the waiting carriage was more difficult than the last one. Several times, Kitty was tempted to give up. However, she kept reminding herself that she had nothing to be ashamed of. If people were going to point at her or ignore her, she would simply pretend not to see them. Amelia would not abandon her.
At that thought, she suddenly realized that Millie might well be as heartsore as she was herself. They had not discussed anything but Kitty’s adventures and recovery so far. She promised herself to see what she could do to cheer Millie up. She managed a smile for Broome, holding the door open for her. Then she halted in surprise. Freddy was waiting on the step. He laughed and offered his arm. Kitty took it gladly.
‘How splendid,’ she said warmly. ‘I had no idea you were back.’ As he helped her into the barouche she felt relief to know that she now had another friend to support her in this first outing. However much other people might shun her, she knew that Freddy and Amelia would remain loyal.
Freddy jumped in and took the seat opposite Kitty and Amelia. He smiled at Kitty, then his eyes turned to Amelia. Kitty saw the tender look they exchanged. Her eyes sharpened on them both.
‘I do believe,’ she said slowly, ‘that you have something to tell me.’
They both looked embarrassed but then Freddy grinned. ‘How quick you are, Kitty. Yes, we have settled it between us.’ He reached for Amelia’s hand as he spoke.
‘At last!’ said Kitty, ‘I almost despaired of ever seeing you reach this point. Oh, Millie, how wonderful.’ She embraced them both, laughing with pleasure.
‘Knew as soon as I reached home,’ said Freddy. ‘Shouldn’t have left her. Told m’mother and set off back again.’
Kitty turned to Amelia. ‘You said nothing of this when we were talking yesterday – you were your usual calm and composed self.’
Amelia blushed. ‘This only happened last night.’
They were in such a state of happy excitement that they had nearly completed a full turn of Hyde Park before they stopped discussing the glad news and paused to look about them. Suddenly, Kitty’s pleasure drained away. She was delighted for her two dear friends but their happiness only served to emphasize the stark contrast with her own situation. Where was Theo? Not that it mattered to her, she reminded herself yet again. He had accepted marriage with another. She would not demean herself by clinging to her belief that he loved her. It was over.
As if to rub salt in the wound, their carriage slowed down in the press of traffic alongside the barouche belonging to Lady Payne. Letitia noticed Kitty and whispered something to her mother. Both ladies stared for a moment, then turned their heads away. Kitty told herself she was being sensitive but she felt the snub keenly.
Just then Freddy raised his quizzing glass. ‘Hate to say it, Kitty’ he said, ‘but you are looking dashed peaky.’
‘I think it is time to leave the park,’ agreed Amelia.
Kitty did not have the strength to argue. She sat in silence, absorbed in her own thoughts. She was not going to be deterred by snubs but they did hurt. When the coach stopped she looked up and realized that they were not outside her aunt’s house but in Cavendish Square, in front of Caroline’s mansion. Before she could ask why, the other two were hurrying her down from the barouche, in through the door and across the entrance hall to the morning-room.
Caroline rose to greet them. ‘Hello, Kitty. I am so glad you are well enough to join us at last. And of course,’ she added with a laugh, ‘you have heard our good news. We are all so happy.’
‘Yes indeed. Just look at the difference in both of them. No more moping and not able to admit why.’ With a valiant effort, Kitty smiled. ‘I think Freddy and Millie are the only ones who feel any surprise.’ She saw how Millie was glowing. While delighted for her friend, it made Kitty realize just how difficult the coming weeks and months were going to be for her.
Through the open door they heard the sound of voices in the entrance hall.
‘Ah, that will be William.’ Caroline moved towards the sound. She held out a hand to Kitty. ‘Come with me, if you please.’
Mystified, Kitty followed her out of the room. She looked behind her but the other two made no move to follow.
Caroline pulled the door shut. She gave Kitty a conspiratorial smile. ‘Well, they finally managed it. I could not be more pleased for them. But what about you, darling?’ She guided Kitty over to an ornate mirror and turned her to look into it. ‘I can see you are pining. You should not be so pale.’
Kitty stared back at Caroline’s reflection. She drew a deep breath. ‘Do you not know you are talking to a social outcast?’ She could not keep the anger out of her voice. She clutched her reticule, feeling lonely and hurt.
Caroline gently turned her round and gave her a hard look. ‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Kitty. That is all fustian, dreamed up by a couple of jealous cats. Besides, when did you ever care about gossip?’
Kitty blinked hard. ‘You are right. It is just that.…’ She heaved a sigh, biting back the urge to mention Theo. ‘Dear Caro, always sorting out our problems, just like when we were naughty children.’
‘Sometimes,’ remarked Caroline with asperity, ‘I wonder what has changed.’
Kitty was saved from replying by the arrival of William. He beamed at them both. ‘Good news, eh?’ he remarked to Kitty, nodding towards the morning-room. He gave a wicked smile. ‘We will allow them a few minutes’ peace. I shall be in the library. I will rejoin you all shortly.’ He disappeared into his book-room.
Caroline slipped an arm through Kitty’s and walked with her towards the back of the vast house.
‘We shall have to set about arranging a splendid ball for the new young couple, just as soon as my mother can reach us.’ She chattered on, leading Kitty through the ballroom and along another wide passage.
Puzzled, Kitty walked with her. She supposed they were simply giving Freddy and Amelia a little time to themselves. At the e
ntrance to the conservatory Caroline stopped. She withdrew her arm.
‘You walk around in here for a little while, darling. I have just remembered something. I need to consult William about our visit to the opera tomorrow. I will not be long.’
What was going on? Kitty, still feeling miserable and sad, wondered if she was being deliberately left out of some family consultation. She could not possibly be bothered to look at the plants. She sighed. It was beginning to sink in that she would not be as close to Millie in the future. She put her hand against the trunk of a large potted palm. It’s rough texture felt appropriate for her current state of mind.
Giving herself a mental shake, she took a few steps forward towards where the late afternoon sunshine shone through some delicate ferns.
It was at that point that she realized she was not alone.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
A tall figure moved towards her.
Kitty caught her breath in a gasp. ‘W-what are you doing here?’
Theo halted, as if turned to stone. His eyes were fixed on her. His own face was pale and set.
Kitty felt the blood drain away from her cheeks. Suddenly Theo was right in front of her. He put out his arms to clasp her round the waist. She murmured a protest and tried feebly to push him away.
‘You look as if you might faint,’ he protested, continuing to hold her gently against him.
‘It was only the shock. I did not know you were in London.’ Now she was in his arms she could not resist the pleasure of remaining there. Just this one last time, just for a moment, she was going to enjoy the strength of his tall, muscular body. Her head whirled and she rested it against his broad shoulder. It felt good to be so close to him, breathing in that smell of fresh linen and a hint of lemon cologne, together with the scent of Theo himself. She shut her eyes. It was a smell she would always remember, familiar from the time after she was wounded and he had held her in his arms in the carriage.
