by Ilana Waters
“Which one?” I leaned forward to get a closer look. The entire cafeteria had come to a standstill, with everybody staring at the monitor and her victims.
“The one who’s not herself.” Rose jutted her chin at the mumbling girl.
“What did they do to her?” Laura’s voice quivered.
Rose grimaced. “Don’t know. But I do know she spends a lot of time alone with Dr. Catron in his office. More time than anyone I’ve seen here.”
“I’ve ’ad enough of your antics!” The cafeteria monitor was screaming again at the petrified girl. “All you brainless loonies are alike. I think they should just get rid of the ’ole cursed lot of you. You can bet Dr. Catron will ’ear about this! Now, clean up this mess and line up at the door. It’s nearly time for your daily exercises.”
The girls formed a line. Thomasina’s friend hastily wiped the floor with several napkins, then gently guided Thomasina into place with shaking hands. Rose, Laura, and I got up slowly to join them.
“Why is Thomasina spending so much time with Dr. Catron?” I asked Rose. It was astounding how much I’d missed in only a week. The cafeteria monitor glared at me for reasons I couldn’t discern. I gave her a tight smile. She glared for a few more seconds, then began scolding the other girls for not lining up straight enough.
“All I know is she said she had a problem with the light,” answered Rose. She pulled the flap down tighter over my satchel to make sure no one saw the Book.
“The light? What’s wrong with the light?” I asked. We stayed close together, moving forward inch by inch.
“There isn’t enough of it, for one thing,” Laura said. “Haven’t you noticed? Sometimes, it shines down from the high windows, but other than that, you can hardly see it. At night, they never turn the lamps up high enough. I’ve got bruises on my shins just from trying to walk straight after dusk. Even in the solarium, it’s always so gray and cloudy. Oh, how I wish spring would come!”
“There’s something unnerving about it always being dark, about never getting enough sunlight,” agreed Rose as we went behind the other girls. Now, we waited for Nurse Cutter to arrive, like always, to take us to the main entrance. “It does terrible things to the mind, or so I’ve heard. I’m starting to believe it’s true.”
I stood in line, feeling awful for Thomasina, Laura, and the rest of the so-called patients here. With my acute vision, I actually hadn’t noticed the lack of light as much.
It’s a shame they can’t feel the darkness the way I can. Its comforting arms, its tenderness.
“Well, it’ll be spring soon enough,” I said brightly. “Just a few more weeks, right? Then maybe we’ll all be home, and there’ll be plenty of sunlight.”
“You mean if we go home,” muttered Rose. “And it’s not like we have the greatest families to return to.” The cafeteria monitor passed by, giving us the once-over. Rose smiled widely at her. Satisfied that our part of the line was straight, the monitor went and stood by the door.
“It’s not only the lack of sunlight that’s creepy around here. Did you notice the last few rooms at the end of the dormitory?” Rose asked. “The ones marked ‘Reserved’?”
“The ones with the horrid screams coming from them?” Laura shivered. “Or sometimes, the girls inside make no noise at all. Not even normal sounds, like talking or moving about. I don’t know which is worse.”
“What rooms?” I asked. I had to talk out of the corner of my mouth; turning towards Rose and Laura would mar the line’s perfection, but I didn’t dare speak louder. Staying in the garret was really starting to become a liability. I was all but cut off from the rest of Silver Hill, from things everyone else knew.
“Those rooms are reserved for permanent residents. You know—girls who never go home,” Rose said darkly.
Laura’s eyes bulged. “Never?”
Rose nodded. “The ones Dr. Catron decides are the sickest stay here forever. If you manage to do what he says, or act the way he wants, you’re considered ‘cured.’ In other words, you’re sent home.” She patted the hidden pocket in her bodice. I knew she was waiting for our toilet break so she could sneak a cigarette. “Sometimes, I think a few of them—especially the younger girls—actually believe what he says is true. That they really are crazy.”
“Do you ever wonder why there are only young girls here?” asked Laura. “I mean, it says ‘Lunatic Asylum for Unmanageable Females,’ but you never see any older women.”
“I don’t think anyone stays here long enough to grow up,” Rose said.
Or lives long enough. I thought of the patients Rose mentioned who died from infections after being in the Hold.
“That’s true,” Laura said softly. “Then there are girls you don’t see anymore, not even in the rooms at the end of the hall.”
“Yeah, like Geraldine.” Rose pulled her bangs all the way back over her head, then let them flop forward. Laura peeked around the front of the line, but Nurse Cutter still hadn’t arrived. One look from the cafeteria monitor and Laura jerked herself back into position again.
“What happened to Geraldine?” I asked. I recalled the spirited girl I almost met on my first day at Silver Hill, when I’d listened to her argue with her father and Catron. “Did she go home?”
Laura shook her head. “I only talked to her a few times, but she told me Dr. Catron said she was one of the worst cases. At first, he thought she’d be easy to treat, but it didn’t work out like that. There’s no way they’d send her home.”
“Maybe her family came and picked her up?” I said hopefully.
Rose raised her eyebrows. “Have you seen anybody’s family here since we arrived?”
“I know they’re not allowed, except when the girls are admitted. I guess I thought . . . maybe to pick someone up . . .” My voice drifted off. We were all silent again for a moment. We hadn’t known her well, but Geraldine had disappeared, and no one knew what had happened to her. It put a bad feeling in the pit of one’s stomach.
“I wonder if they shocked her.” My voice was barely audible. I didn’t want to finish with the words “to death.”
“I was shocked just the other day.” Rose shuddered and rubbed her upper arms.
“Rose, no!” I had to fight not to gasp.
Laura nodded. “We didn’t want to tell you right after you came out of solitary. We thought it might upset you.”
“It was horrible.” For once, there wasn’t even a hint of sarcasm in Rose’s voice.
I gave a lightning-quick glance towards the cafeteria monitor, but fortune favored us, and her back was turned. I took the opportunity to wrap both arms around Rose.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I said. She leaned her head against my arm, and I felt her shoulders give a little heave. Then I saw the monitor’s head swiveling in our direction, and quickly stopped hugging Rose.
“I think we just have to go along with them, like so many of the girls do,” I said, realizing how much my thinking echoed Dym’s. “Just pretend we’re getting better.”
“And what happens after that?” asked Laura.
“I’m not sure. If you’re sent home,” I pointed at her, “you may be able to contact your aunt Mae, for one thing. Perhaps she wouldn’t mind taking you and Rose in for a bit.”
“But what about you, Seluna? When I get home, do you want me to ask Aunt Mae if you can stay with us, too?”
“That’s okay, Laura. I can look out for myself.”
“But what about your family?” Rose patted her bodice again. She must have really been dying for that cigarette. “How can you go back to live with them if they think you’re crazy?”
I had absolutely no idea. I still hadn’t sorted out my feelings about my family, or confirmed the real reason they sent me here. All I had were conjectures and speculations. “I’ll figure that out when the time comes,” I said. “Don’t either of you worry about me.”
Nurse Cutter had finally arrived to take us to the mai
n hall for exercise. We left the cafeteria in single file, with Cutter at the door. I was the last one to go out, but before I could do so, the enormous woman put her arm in front of my chest.
“Not you,” she said. “You come with me. Dr. Catron wants a word with you.”
Chapter 7
“Se-lu-na, how are you? Did we enjoy solitary confinement?” Dr. Catron’s demeanor was positively congenial. “Did we learn our lesson?”
I sat on the uncomfortable chair facing Catron’s desk and tried to resist the urge to strangle him. “If the lesson was how to survive on one bowl of porridge a day and no baths, then consider it learned,” I said.
Catron shook his head and placed his long, elegant fingers on either side of his armchair. “I expected better of you, Seluna. I thought a brief spell alone might clear your mind. Now,” his voice hardened, “would you care to tell me what you were really doing in my office last week?”
I looked him straight in the eye. “I wasn’t in your office. I was just at the door. And like I said, I thought it was the broom closet.”
“Where you were looking for supplies to mop up a spill that had already been dealt with?”
I gritted my teeth. “Obviously, that news had not yet reached me.”
For a few moments, Catron said nothing. Finally, he sighed. “You’re really sticking with that story, aren’t you?”
“I told you, it’s not a story.”
“As you wish. You are certainly one of the most fascinating cases of my career. I can see now that I’ll have to find more . . . appropriate strategies to address your condition.”
My condition? Which was what, exactly?
“I’m surprised you didn’t try to shock me like you did Rose and Laura,” I said boldly. “What with my condition being so horrendous and all.”
“That remains an option for the future.” Catron returned my stare. “Though such therapy is not effective for everyone. Sometimes, we don’t use it on cases we feel are too advanced.”
“Advanced?”
“It’s like trying to staunch blood flow from a gunshot wound with a napkin.” He put his palms out in a gesture of helplessness. “But don’t think I don’t notice your hesitation, your resistance to treatment. I was so hoping you’d be different than the other patients here.” He looked at me and stroked his smooth chin. “Special, somehow. But regardless, everything we do at Silver Hill has a purpose. I promise that if you cooperate, someday, this pain will be useful.”
“Maybe to you,” I retorted.
Catron smiled, but the smile did not reach his eyes. “You’re a fiery girl, Seluna. We’ll have to see what we can do about that.” He pressed a button on his intercom, but continued looking at me while leaning over it. “Come to my office,” he said. “It’s time to take her back.” Not three minutes later, Nurse Cutter arrived.
“Dr. Catron, I—”
“Not now.” Catron was riffling through papers on his desk. Occasionally, he would glance at me and make notes. We hadn’t spoken a word to each other since he called Cutter on the intercom.
“But I can’t be takin’ ’er back now, sir.” It was the first time I’d ever seen Cutter look frazzled. “We got trouble with that girl who dropped ’er tray in the cafeteria today. Now she’s walkin’ into walls, and a few of them other ones, too.”
“Thomasina,” I said. “Her name is Thomasina.” Both of them ignored me.
“They ain’t listenin’ to us no more. I don’t know if they don’t understand, or they’re just bein’ willful. But either way, the staff is havin’ a devil of a time corrallin’ them, cleanin’ up after them—”
“I don’t want to hear excuses, Cutter!” Catron snapped. The burly woman took a step back. “I don’t care what you do with her.” He indicated me. “Just get her out of here.”
I expected Cutter to make a few more remarks. But to my surprise, she simply nodded and said, “Yes, sir.” Then she grabbed me roughly by the upper arm. “C’mon, you!” She yanked me out of the chair and into the hall. I only just managed to grab my satchel as we left.
Before I knew what was happening, she pushed me onto the bench outside Catron’s office. I felt cold metal on my wrist, and realized she was handcuffing me to the armrest.
“What’s this?” I asked in disbelief.
“A precaution. Can’t ’ave you go runnin’ off on your own. Not after you almost broke into Dr. Catron’s office.”
“I’d hardly call attempting to turn a doorknob ‘breaking in.’ ” And since when does Nurse Cutter carry handcuffs? Perhaps she always has them on her, and I just never noticed.
“See?” snapped Cutter. “It’s that kind of thinkin’ that gets girls like you in trouble. Now, the good doctor don’t need to know you’re ’ere. Don’t make a peep—just pray he don’t come out. I’ll be back for you as soon as I’m done dealin’ with them other sickos. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay right there on that bench.”
I looked at the handcuff. I looked at Nurse Cutter.
“Do I have a choice?”
She glared at me with her beady, animal eyes. “Just. Stay. Put.” Then she walked away down the hall, heavy shoes echoing.
I jerked at the handcuff, then examined it. Maybe I can animate it and make it open. I stared at the cuff and concentrated very hard. Although I managed to bend the metal back and forth, I couldn’t enlarge the opening around my wrist enough to wriggle out. And my abilities did nothing to trigger the locking device inside the handcuff. I definitely needed a key.
With nothing to do except wait for Cutter to return and “rescue” me, I listened to what was going on in Catron’s office. He was speaking to someone on the intercom, but I couldn’t make out what the other party was saying.
I saw a stout, perspiring orderly walk towards me from the other end of the hall. He had on stained overalls instead of his usual orderly’s uniform, but I recognized him from my previous weeks at the asylum. He carried an open, metal toolbox with various hammers, wrenches, and pliers spilling out.
If he thought it was odd that a patient was handcuffed to a bench, he said nothing about it. For all I knew, he saw girls at Silver Hill in similar situations all the time. It was a disturbing thought. He walked right up to Catron’s office, then stopped and leaned his head towards me.
“Psst—’ey, you there. Girlie. ’Ow’s the doctor feelin’ today?”
“Feeling?”
The orderly rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re one o’ them loonies who can’t even understand a sentence. I really need to know, see. Is ’e feelin’ all right?”
“All right?”
The man rolled his eyes again.
“He seemed like his usual self when I was just in there,” I finally said. His usual self just happens to be a sadistic nut bag.
“I can’t risk goin’ in there if ’e’s not ’imself, see? ’E’s in an especially funny mood these days because of that new girl, Seluna.” He squinted at me. “What they call you, by the way?”
“Mary,” I answered quickly. Why would Catron be in a funny mood because of me? Is it because I tried to break into his office?
The orderly nodded slowly. “Well, you just do what the good doctor tells you, you ’ear? And there won’t be no trouble.”
“Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir.”
Satisfied, he gave a sharp nod and a grunt, then walked into Catron’s office.
“’Ello, Dr. Catron.” I could tell by the orderly’s voice he was smiling with artificial cheer. “’Ow are you today?”
“Fairly well. And yourself?”
“Oh, splendid. Splendid I am, thank you, sir. Accounts going well, then?”
“What? Oh, yes. Lunacy is a lucrative business, after all.” Catron definitely didn’t know I was in the hall; he’d never speak so freely if he did. At least I didn’t think he would. And it seemed he wasn’t on the intercom anymore. I tried to twist my neck and look in the office to see w
hat he was doing. But the bench was too far away, and my prisoner status limited my mobility.
“Good, good. Glad to ’ear it. I did like you asked and took a look at them pipes. Now, you didn’t ’ire me to be a plumber—not that I’m complainin’, mind you—but I tightened everythin’ that could be tightened. Took me over a week, but I think it’s safe to say the dormitories will be ’igh and dry from now on.”
“Excellent,” replied Catron. “Mr. . . .”
“Flack,” the orderly said. “Flack’s the name, sir. Remember?”
“Ah, yes. Flack. Fine work there. You may go now.” There was a pause, and then I heard Flack say:
“Beggin’ your pardon, Doctor, but you ’ad any luck findin’ . . . the creature?”
The creature? Is that “the one” Catron mentioned seeking before?
“Mmmm?” I got the impression Catron was looking at something else, only half-listening to Flack.
“You know,” Flack lowered his voice, “the creature. You said if only you could locate one, you might be able to open up its brain and find out where the goddess is.”
Is “the one” the same person as the goddess they’re talking about? It would make sense, since Catron had said whomever they were looking for was female. But that would mean the creature was something else. Were they using goddess as a metaphor? Maybe it was an ancient artifact, like a statue. But if that were true, why search for it at an asylum? One would need to host an archeological dig or something. Silver Hill was getting more bizarre by the minute.
“Possibly,” replied Catron. There was the sound of a fountain pen scratching paper. “Rumor has it one was seen not far from here—a young male with dark skin.”
My heart froze. Dym had dark skin. He was the only male anything within miles that did. Were they talking about him? What kind of creature was he? I always thought he was just a boy. A strange boy, yes, but still a boy.
“Splendid! P’raps it’ll save us all a lot o’ trouble.” Then the orderly’s voice became more serious. “I ’ate to bring it up, sir, but what about Seluna? Should we move ’er to a regular room? Nurse Cutter was sayin’ it might be best. Better to keep an eye on ’er that way and all.”
