by Ilana Waters
“In order for there to be ghosts, Laura, people pretty much have to die,” Rose said.
But that doesn’t mean we have to die, I wanted to say.
We didn’t actually know what was happening to the girls who disappeared. Some came back after a while, but much altered. Several shrieked when anyone tried to touch them. A few were catatonic, or muttered to themselves like Laura. Others were unable to dress or feed themselves, like Thomasina. Clearly, Catron was torturing these girls to find the creature, or the goddess he so desperately wanted.
Could they possibly be the same person? No, Catron said he was looking for the creature in order to find the goddess. They must be two separate things. Whenever I thought about it, I had to rub my temples. All these circling thoughts were giving me migraines.
I wrestled back and forth with whether or not to tell Rose and Laura about my meeting with Francine. In the end, I decided against it. I didn’t want to scare them. It might make them worry they were the next ones headed for the reserved rooms. Besides, explaining Francine would mean trying to explain more about the Event and the goddess’s mission. I wasn’t sure I understood either of them myself.
Then there was the part where Francine mentioned my mission. Was it in line with the goddess’s, or opposed? There was also the possibility—and I hated to think it—that these were just Francine’s mad ramblings. But they were too similar to what Catron and Dym had said. There had to be a connection. If only I could figure out what it was!
In a macabre case of silver lining, Catron’s treatment of the other girls gave me additional time alone. Whatever he was doing took more and more staff to accomplish, so there were fewer people to supervise us. After being locked in the garret far too early for several nights, I’d finally finished translating page 136.
As I’d originally surmised, it was a sleep spell. An odd thing for Dym to suggest, unless he had just picked page 136 randomly. I had my doubts about that, but it hardly mattered now. The spell purported to put the desired object to sleep for a good while. But that was where it got vague. It didn’t mention hours, days, or any specific time frame for how long the spell lasted. It just said “as long as necessary.” Maybe the intent of the spell’s caster determined the length, which was fine with me. If it were within my power, I’d put the entire staff of Silver Hill to sleep for the rest of their lives.
But that seemed unlikely: one of the spell’s drawbacks was that it could only be performed on one person at a time. One had to wait till the spell finished with the first person before moving on to a second. Although my main focus was Catron, it would have been nice to knock out his workers, too. But hopefully, with their leader absent, Nurse Cutter and the rest would be far less of a threat. Confusion and chaos were sure to result from his sudden, prolonged unconsciousness. It would be the perfect opportunity to try and get to the telegraph machine again. Then I could contact Laura’s aunt Mae, or whoever else might be willing to get us out of here.
The magic was relatively simple to perform. It didn’t require complicated herbs or tools; just chanting. I could do that when I was alone in my room. But I still needed something personal from the object of the spell.
That was going to be the hard part. Where was I going to get something personal of Catron’s? I certainly wouldn’t be able to get into his office again. His private sleeping quarters were out of the question. I couldn’t imagine being able to steal something off his person; I wasn’t a skilled pickpocket.
The next day, I tried to think of objects I could pinch easily. The girls and I were finishing our daily walk around the main entrance. We’d been exercised more than usual, probably because staff members were increasingly busy with whatever Dr. Catron had them doing. There couldn’t be more than ten girls here now, with no new admissions for over a week. And as surely as the number of patients was dwindling, the staff seemed to be as well.
“I hear it’s because Dr. Catron is sending them away,” Rose whispered while we waited to be taken to afternoon lessons. We stood single file, all of us so tired and perspiring we looked like wilted flowers. “Doesn’t want too many employees around in case they cause that Event. He’s growing more suspicious and paranoid by the day.”
“The only person he seems to trust anymore is Nurse Cutter,” Laura said, looking at Rose and me. Then she abruptly stared off into the distance, and kept staring.
“Speak of the devil,” I muttered. Cutter was coming down the hall, wheeling a cart, when she stopped to talk to the orderly who’d been leading our exercises. She turned her back on the cart and walked a few feet over to the orderly. On the edge of the cart, next to a set of surgical supplies, was a clipboard with a form on it. At the very bottom was Catron’s signature.
His signature.
What could be more personal than someone writing their name? That was it! That was what I could use for the sleep spell. But how was I going to get it?
Cutter and the orderly were still talking. Cutter looked more harrowed than usual. Her uniform was wrinkled, her complexion like a bedsheet that had faded in the sun. And whatever she was telling the orderly, he didn’t appear to like it. I inched myself out of the line, nearer to the cart.
“Seluna, what are you doing?” Rose hissed. She tried to grab my sleeve, but I pulled away. Keeping my eyes on Cutter, I moved sideways towards my target.
When I reached the cart, I glanced down at the form. It was mundane, but unnerving. An order for scalpels, with an angry note at the bottom from Catron. Something to do with the previous ones wearing out too quickly, or not being sharp enough.
What’s he doing with that many scalpels in the first place?
It was a disconcerting question, but I didn’t have time to speculate. I had to get my hands on that signature. I looked up; the conversation between Cutter and the orderly was more animated than ever. But they were deliberately keeping their voices low, so I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Finally, Cutter looked at the orderly and pointed towards the front door. The orderly threw up his hands and stomped off towards the staff quarters, presumably to collect his things.
“Did he just get sacked?” I heard Rose whisper to Laura. But Laura was still staring at things unseen, and did not answer. Cutter was coming back for the cart. At the last second, I managed to tear off the part of the form with Catron’s name on it.
What could I do with the signature? I didn’t have any pockets. I folded the paper into the smallest piece I could manage and slipped it between my fingers just before Cutter spotted me.
“Oy! What’re you doin’ there?” she barked. “You’d better not be messin’ around with Dr. Catron’s supplies. Let’s see them ’ands.”
I put both my hands out, palms up.
“Other side now,” Cutter snapped.
I flipped my hands over. A tiny piece of the white form was sticking up between my fingers. I looked Cutter in the eye and let out a loud cough to distract her while I wriggled the paper back down. She wrinkled her nose and pulled her face back, probably thinking my cough was contagious. Then she glared at me for a few seconds.
“Back in line where you belong! If there’s so much as a single thing missin’ from them supplies, I’ll ’ave your ’ead!” Cutter peered over the cart and silently mouthed the number and types of items. Satisfied that everything was accounted for, she pushed me towards the line of girls. “You all come with me, now, you ’ear?” She never even looked at the form and its lack of signature.
“But what about that man who was here before?” asked one girl.
“Yeah, Mr. Mavis, wasn’t it?” called another. “He was leading our exercises.”
“Don’t you worry about Mr. Mavis.” Cutter put her hands on the cart and began wheeling it down the hall again, indicating we should follow. “I told ’im ’is services was no longer necessary. You won’t be seein’ ’im from now on.” The girls started whispering among themselves, but Cutter silenced them with a look.
“Se
luna, what were you thinking?” Rose gave me a hard jab with her finger as we trailed after Cutter. “You keep telling me to stay out of trouble. What have you got there in your hand?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to see what was on the cart, that’s all.”
“Liar. I saw you take something off.”
Blast. I really hated to do this. But I couldn’t risk having Rose or anyone else know what I was up to. It might get them hurt.
“Are you sure, Rose?” I asked gently. “You know Laura’s been a bit . . . confused lately as well.” I nodded towards Laura, who was staring at a piece of her hair as if she’d never seen it before. “Maybe you just thought you saw me take something.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Rose huffed. “I know I saw you tear something off that clipboard.” She swallowed hard. “At least, I thought I did . . .”
I gave her shoulder a rub. “It’s okay, Rose. I understand.” Gods, I’m a terrible person. Rose just held her hand to her head and looked alarmed. But my deception worked, because Rose didn’t say anything more about the scrap of paper. Perhaps I could apologize and tell her the truth later, when the spell worked. When it helped all of us get out of here.
That night, I performed the ritual that would put Catron to sleep. I couldn’t help but smile as I chanted his name and waved my candle over and over the signature. With Catron incapacitated, this whole nightmare might soon be over. For all of us.
#
I was positively glowing the next morning when Nurse Cutter came to collect me from the garret. I thought she might say something about Dr. Catron sleeping in, or being “taken ill.” But she didn’t.
No doubt she doesn’t want it getting out that something’s amiss, I thought as I nearly skipped down the stairs. But it’s only a matter of time till they realize they can’t rouse him. I couldn’t wait to see what happened then.
What few staff members were left didn’t seem concerned about Catron’s well-being during exercise, lessons, or any other activities we did that day. Or if they were concerned, they didn’t mention it. They did seem worried about who would be fired next, or what they would do once their employment at Silver Hill ended.
“I’m thinkin’ of goin’ to work at that new ’ospital in Ballifor,” I heard one nurse say. “Almost as much pay, and they give you two days off a week!”
It wasn’t till nearly the end of the day that I found out exactly how Catron was doing. We were all being led back to our rooms; at this point, private socialization had been completely canceled. I said good-bye to Rose and Laura at their door. Looking back, I wish I’d lingered a while longer. But instead, I was accompanied by a nurse towards the hall that led to the garret. That was when I nearly walked straight into Dr. Catron.
What? How can Catron still be awake? He was supposed to be unconscious. I couldn’t stop staring, my jaw slack. The spell should have worked right away. I didn’t remember reading anything about a delay in the magic.
His hair was a bit disheveled, as if he hadn’t combed it that morning. Like Cutter’s uniform yesterday, his once impeccable clothing hadn’t seen an iron recently. His eyes had dark shadows under them, as if he hadn’t slept.
How ironic, since he was supposed to be asleep for a good, long while.
“Better watch where you’re going!” Catron snapped when we almost collided. I was still staring at him in shock. He looked down. “Something amiss, Se-lu-na?”
I shook my head rapidly. “No, sir, not at all. Just glad to see you looking so well.”
“Is there any reason I shouldn’t be?” He narrowed his eyes.
Yes, because my spell should have worked. “Absolutely not, sir. Everything’s in perfect order.” Except the part where you should be knocked out.
I was screaming curses inside my head as the nurse locked me in the garret. I went around kicking every wall, including the one in front of the hidden staircase, though I knew it would hurt my foot. But I barely felt the pain as I paced the floor, gnashing my teeth and cursing some more.
Why didn’t it work? What did I do wrong? I knew most of the spells in the Book were difficult, and of course, I wasn’t a witch. But you didn’t have to be a witch to perform simple spells, and the one I’d used on Catron had to be the simplest in there.
The Event was only two or so days away. Clearly, Catron and the others were preparing for it; the feeling of alarm was palpable throughout the asylum. I had no way to get myself or anyone else out of here before it happened. I still had no idea who this goddess and creature were, or what havoc they might wreak at Silver Hill.
That meant I had no choice but to beg Dym for his help, one last, desperate time. The situation was truly dire now; I had to find a way to make him realize that. If Dym couldn’t do anything, then I didn’t know who could.
Chapter 11
It seemed even colder than usual when I ventured into the garden that night. I pulled my shawl around my neck, trying to keep the bitter wind from finding the exposed parts of my throat. It was almost like winter was clinging until the last possible moment, refusing to relinquish its icy grip. But there was more color in the vines than when I last visited, and they seemed suppler, too. Still, clouds covered the entire sky. It was as if the moon refused to come out.
The moon. When I was a little girl, I’d look up at the sky and wonder if I belonged there. I’d always felt out of place on Earth, as if I could float away at any moment. Sometimes, I’d look down at my feet and wonder what they were doing on the ground. I could’ve sworn that I was once able to fly. Not just wish for it, but actually remember what it felt like.
As the vines parted before me and I made my way towards the pond, I recited a poem aloud. I’d made it up a few years ago, when I looked at the night sky and put my hand over the moon so I could see only part of it.
“Half-moon seen
with my half eye,
drinking in a world
half truth, half lie.
Tell me now,
Eternal Spy:
Will I live by halves
until I die?”
“Not bad,” said a smooth, familiar voice. “Not bad by half. But I never finished the end of Keats for you:
‘We have imagined for the mighty dead;
All lovely tales that we have heard or read:
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven’s brink.’ ”
Dym was leaning one elbow on the edge of the pond. I wondered why he never just sat there like a normal person. It was as if he didn’t want to leave the water. Maybe he didn’t want me to see him without anything on, though he seemed more than willing the last time I was here. I wondered if he ever traversed the garden when I wasn’t there. I worked hard to push away the image of a beautiful, naked Dym wandering in the moonlight. I had more important things to think about this evening.
“Anyway, it’s quite a nice night for poetry, don’t you agree?” he asked.
It’s an even nicer night for saving my life.
“I suppose,” I answered. “But I’m afraid that’s not the reason I came.”
“Oh?” Dym raised a playful eyebrow and made circles in the water with his index finger. “Was it to see the one you cherish so much?”
I was in no mood for teasing. “No,” I said curtly. “It’s because things at Silver Hill are going downhill—fast.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised.” Dym continued making his lazy finger-circles in the water. How is he not freezing in these temperatures? His skin, smooth and gleaming as ever, didn’t even have goose bumps. “You should just run away,” he said. “That’s what I’d do.”
I gritted my teeth. “Yes, well, it’s rather difficult to do when you’re in the middle of nowhere in the middle of winter.” And it would also mean leaving behind all the other girls, not that you care.
Dym stopped moving his finger and raised his head to look at me. “I’m only thinking of your safety, Seluna. Trying to
defeat Catron may not be possible.”
“I don’t think you’re as concerned with my safety as you should be. And if I don’t do something about Catron, who will?”
“As you wish.” Dym shrugged. “Have fun tilting at those windmills, kid.”
“It would be more ‘fun’ if you’d join me,” I retorted. My face was getting red, my fury increasing.
“Sorry, no can do.” Dym refused to meet my gaze. “Might interfere with my swimming.”
“Yes, well, don’t let my overwhelming troubles cut into your leisure time,” I snapped. “Did it ever occur to you how serious things are? If it did, you might not be in such a joking mood.”
Dym folded his arms, which pulled the muscles in his chest tauter. “Explain it to me.”
I took a deep breath. “More girls are getting shocked—and gods only know what else—by Catron and his demonic devices. More patients are disappearing from Silver Hill as well.”
“Disappearing? Disappearing how?” Dym asked. “To where?”
“That’s what I don’t know!” I wanted to fling my hands in the air, but one of them was holding a candle. “The Event, or whatever it is, gets closer every day. I still haven’t the foggiest notion of what it entails, or what to do about it. I tried using a sleep spell on Catron, but—”
“Really?” Dym interrupted. “A sleep spell? Where did you get that?”
“What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes. “You practically suggested it to me.”
Dym nodded slowly. “Ah . . . so that’s what was on page one thirty-six.”
I couldn’t tell if he was pretending not to know the spell had been on that page all along. Right now, I didn’t care.
“Anyway,” I said, “it doesn’t matter. The spell didn’t work; I’ve no idea why. Which means Catron is still up and around, wreaking havoc and planning new tortures for us.”
“The sleep spell didn’t work?” Dym’s jaw grew slack. He seemed genuinely surprised. “Then the danger is greater for both of us,” he murmured.
