“Not long.” She gave a half smile and eased out of his embrace, her eyes intent on her husband.
Thomas bristled at the contact, hating Nicholas’s proximity.
“Why don’t you two go visit with Dad for a while? I’ll go check on Benji and see how he’s doing out in the fields and then check on the staff.”
Benji was the baby of the family. He constantly told his brothers how much he hated the nickname, but that only made Thomas use it more. It was a brother thing. Benji was only fifteen, but he loved the outdoors and found solace in the fields doing manual labor. Thomas knew his brother’s heart because they were often together, working the fields and fulfilling the needs of their large family plantation, while Nicholas was off studying and handling the business side of things.
Or doing nothing.
Thomas and Benji had always been close. At eight years old, Thomas took on a big brother role for the first time. But thanks to the cruelty of fate, he also found himself a father figure. His mother, Delilah, had died giving birth to Benji, and their father had fallen apart and retreated to the solitude of loneliness and despair. Nicholas never attempted to step into the role of the eldest son. Unless it was to boss one of his brothers around.
“He came by here earlier with some vegetables for us,” Cassandra said. “He said he’d be back in later tonight to check on me. We weren’t sure when you two were coming in. Benji and I were going to have dinner with your father; it’s something we’ve been doing every night.”
“Does Benji spend all of his time in the fields?” Nicholas asked.
She looked at the ground.
Thomas knew his wife all too well—she would avoid conflict for the sake of peace—and he wouldn’t let his brother treat her like a child. “Casey isn’t Benji’s keeper. And you and I both know Benji loves being out in the fields. It’s in his blood.”
“We shouldn’t encourage him to be out in the fields all day. He needs to be back at the house doing his studies. Maude should be seeing to that.” Nicholas mounted his horse.
Maude was the cook for the main house. She was an older slave woman who’d been on staff when the boys were young. When their mother died, their father put Maude in charge. She hired tutors for the boys and tended to their every need. Thomas loved her, but Benji had formed the tightest bond with the only mother he’d ever known.
“He’s young. He needs to get some energy out,” Thomas replied.
“I’ll decide what’s best for him. You have your own family now. Casey needs you. That should be your main concern. Anyway, I’m going to head out. Father’s expecting you.” After that final word, Nicholas turned his horse and galloped away.
Needing an outlet for anger and built up energy, Thomas kicked the wooden post in front of him. He hated how his brother tried to take control of everything. He didn’t know the first thing about keeping up their land, nor did he care about Benji; instead, Nicholas focused on power and money. Thomas worked the land and managed their people, and he’d taught his youngest brother from an early age. But more than anything, Thomas hated when Nicholas used the nickname Casey. That was Thomas’s name for her, and Nicholas damn well knew it.
“Do you mind if we walk? I could use the fresh air. You shouldn’t be on a horse anyway.”
She nodded and slipped her arm around his. “Benji’s done great while you’ve been away. You’d be so proud. Your father’s not easy on him—”
“Never has been. He thinks Benji’s just a younger version of me.” Thomas kicked at the dirt, seeing the face of his father and Nicholas, always the cohorts, in the dusty earth.
“Look at me.”
Thomas hesitated, but she insisted, guiding his face back to her with a feathery touch.
She maneuvered his body into hers and put her hand on his chest. When she was concerned, she’d get a serious face like a teacher standing at the front of a room demanding her students’ full attention. “Your father needs you; he doesn’t always show it well, I know, but since you’ve been gone, I think he’s realized how much you did around here.”
“Maybe. But Nicholas is the one who figures out the money. That’s all Dad really cares about.”
She shook her head, but then her face softened. “He only has a few more days. Please, try to make your peace with him. And with your brother. Our child won’t have any grandparents; I don’t want him to lose any more family.”
Staring into her green-blue eyes, he wondered how he deserved her. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. From the moment she walked into his life, he was smitten. He would do anything to make her happy. She’d lost her parents very young, and then lost the baby. To make matters worse, she and Thomas were relegated to a small house, which was falling apart, on the back of the property. All because he’d been born second. Although his father had offered for Thomas to live in the main house, it was too hard to see the favoritism day in and day out. He preferred his own home.
“Your father calls out for your mother almost daily. It breaks my heart. I wish I could ease his pain.”
Thomas refocused on his wife and their walk. “You’ve been here for him. I appreciate that, and I’m sure he does.” He squeezed her hand as his childhood home came into view.
As they continued up the main road to the front steps, they were greeted with huge white pillars, a wrap-around front porch, and white siding. No expense was spared to keep up appearances. Their thirty or so slaves worked day and night to keep the house and land running. Thomas made sure they were always treated well, although he hid as much kindness as he could from his neighbors.
His mother was from the western part of North Carolina, while his father came from the east. Philosophies were very different from the coast to the mountains. His mother came from a family of generational wealth. As a young child, Thomas would hear his parents argue about the necessity of slaves and their treatment. His father always won, detailing the necessity of cheap labor, but his mother won where it mattered: she demanded the slaves be treated well. Thomas often imagined his mother smiling in Heaven, grateful her sons were being raised by Maude, a slave woman who loved them dearly.
During the years Nicholas was away at school, Thomas served as his father’s closest confidant. He trusted his son with every detail about how to manage the land. Still, even then, his father never discussed financial matters with Thomas.
As he and Casey stepped onto the porch, the door swung open, and Doc Turner appeared. Thomas extended his hand to the older gentleman.
After a quick greeting, Doc offered an update. “So great that you boys could come home. I fear you won’t have much time with your father. I’m surprised he’s hung on this long, but I think he wanted to see you boys one last time.”
One of us, anyway, Thomas thought.
“Oh, and little Missy over here is doing amazing. I hope you’ll be able to come back home in about a month to meet the newest Anderson.”
“Me, too. Thanks for all you’re doing for my family.”
“Of course. Please, take care of your brother out there. He may be the oldest, but that one was never meant for war.” Doc Turner tipped his hat and continued down the porch stairs.
Was anyone meant for war? Everyone seemed to think Thomas would fair well, but was that because his life was more expendable? Before he reported for duty, his father had pulled his middle son aside.
§
“Yes, Father, you called for me?” Thomas walked into his father’s office after receiving a summons from Zebadiah, one of the lead field hands.
Benjamin nodded and swept his hand toward a chair. “Sit down, boy.”
Bristling at the word, Thomas glared as he took a seat.
“I just had a visit from a family friend, a man of real importance. I know you and Nicholas are heading to fight for our state rights, but I also need to protect my heir.”
Thomas winced at the singular form of the word.
“Do you remember Zebulon? He’s the son of a man I’
ve known for years. Anyway, he’s heading up the 26th North Carolina regiment. He’s offered to take both you boys into his infantry. You’ll each be given officer titles. He knows what kind of boys I raise.”
Having to stifle a laugh, Thomas simply nodded. His father had no hand in raising any of them. Maude would deserve that honor. Thomas continued to stare without offering any response except for the occasional nod. Discussion rarely worked to his advantage.
“He’s promised me he’ll quickly make your brother a captain and you a first lieutenant. But I have a special request of you.” Benjamin paced the room, never looking his son in the eye. “We both know your brother is extremely gifted. Someday, he will make a name for himself as a lawyer. Matter of fact, Zebulon has big dreams himself. Did you know he also went to law school?”
Thomas shook his head, not that his father took a moment to look in his son’s direction for any kind of response.
“Anyway, your brother, brilliant as he is, is not a fighter.”
A pause filled the air as the man finally made eye contact with his son.
Thomas dared speak. “Yes, I remember your requests in our younger years to fight off the boys who bullied him. I took many a beating, and gave many, in the name of my brother.”
“Yes, you did. And that’s why I come to you again. You’ll be your brother’s shadow. I will not lose him! It’s bad enough that the North won’t let the South be, let us do our business, but I will not lose my son to their self-righteousness.”
But you would lose me, Thomas thought.
Where he used to register pain at those words, he only grew in determination to prove his father wrong and someday run their family business. Thomas would not stop until he and his beautiful wife lived in the main house as the much-deserving leaders of the Anderson household.
“Understood.” Thomas said what his father wanted to hear.
§
No other conversation in Thomas’s life was as clear in his mind as that one, with the exception of his wife announcing her pregnancies. But those were filled with hope, whereas the one with his father left Thomas with nothing but disgust. Still, that day changed his life forever.
Such a lack of affection or concern from his own father had inspired Thomas to do whatever it would take to make a life for his family, Casey and their unborn child. Benji, too.
Thomas couldn’t remember the last time he stepped foot into his father’s bedroom. Maybe back as a child when Thomas would run in looking for his mom. Since she died, there had only been a handful of visits.
With his wife by his side, he pushed the heavy door open. A putrid blend of medicine and stale air greeted him. It was the stench of death. He knew it all too well. Even in the open air and vast space of war, death left a lingering and powerful odor.
His wife reached the bed first and took her father-in-law’s hand. “Mr. Anderson, it’s Cassandra. Thomas is here with me.”
Slowly, as if it took every ounce of strength he had left, he turned his head to them. Thomas moved closer to the bed and met his father’s cloudy and dull eyes.
“You kept my Nicholas safe.” Each word came out between the exaggerated up and down movements of his chest. “Thank you.”
Thomas inhaled, his hands balled into fists by his side as his father destroyed any childhood hope that death would change his perspective. “I did.”
“Do you remember my last words to you?”
What son could forget such words? “Yes.”
“My dying wish is that you honor them until the end of this damned war. Zebulon has been given the same instructions.”
“Zebulon left our regiment quite a bit ago. You know he’s set to be governor, right?”
A coughing jag erupted from his father.
Casey helped him to a more upright position and brushed stray, thinning gray hairs from his forehead. “Take it easy, please, Mr. Anderson.”
“Your wife has been so good to me.”
Good enough that you would give us the home that we deserve? Thomas thought the words but didn’t dare speak them. “She’s an amazing woman.”
With a shaky hand, his father reached out. “Please, promise me again that you’ll look after my son.”
“You have my word.”
“When will he be back?”
“I’m here, Father.”
Thomas winced at his brother’s voice and shifted to face him. He’d brought Benji along.
“We’re all here,” Nicholas stated.
Moving aside to make room for him, Thomas put an arm around his wife.
Benji came up to the bed and stood beside her also.
“I love you all.” Although the patriarch included everyone, Thomas noticed his father’s eyes focused only on Nicholas. “I wish… I wish…” Another coughing jag erupted before he could finish. Then, he seemed to struggle as his breaths became shallow. His eyes widened, and he tried one more time. “I wish…”
Casey’s gasp filled the room as tears poured down her cheeks, and Benji stiffened and took one step backward.
Thomas strengthened his hold on Casey, afraid she might collapse, and looked to Nicholas, who stood stoic, his eyes fixed on their father. With that last breath, Thomas could have sworn his and his father’s eyes connected. But no one would ever know his final wish.
“He’s gone,” Nicholas said as he pushed the old man’s eyelids closed. “I’ll have Zebadiah call for Doc Turner to make arrangements.”
Even in death, he was all business. With a slight tilt of the head, Thomas indicated for everyone to step outside. “Let’s talk in the hall.” He lingered, gazing at his father’s lifeless body. Sadness penetrated every pore, but not because Thomas would miss the man; instead, it was mourning the loss of what could have been. Children deserved love, especially from their parents. Death had robbed Thomas of a mother and torn a permanent hole in his heart. But his father had chosen to put his love in only one place.
“Are you coming?” Casey’s soft voice pierced his thoughts.
There’s nothing for me in this room, never was, Thomas thought as he joined her, taking her hand.
Once out in the hall, the business of planning began.
“We should get back to Virginia. General Lee is expecting us,” Nicholas said, his voice devoid of any emotion. It was flat, with no inflection or wavering.
“The General Lee? How cool is that?” Benji stated, wide-eyed.
Thomas thanked the good Lord Benji was too young to join. Turning to Nicholas, Thomas stated, “I’m going to spend some time with my wife before we leave. We’ll head out first thing in the morning, I presume.”
“Yes. I’ll meet you at the main stable around five. We’ll want to be ready to go as soon as there’s some light.” Nicholas turned on his heel and marched out of the room with Benji close behind asking a series of excited questions about Robert E. Lee, guns, and fighting.
Casey took her husband’s hand into her own. “I’m glad we’ll get a little time before you have to leave. There are a couple of things I wanted to show you.”
Thomas noticed his wife’s cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were blood red. He led her to the front of the house and out onto the porch, into some sunshine and fresh air. “Thank you for all you did for my father. And for looking out for Benji.”
“Your family is the only family I’ve had for years. I love them. I can’t wait for little Tommy to meet you and your brothers.”
“What if it’s a girl?” Thomas asked.
“It’s not. A woman knows these things.” Casey smiled and patted her stomach.
“I’ll be happy either way. I just want you and the baby to be okay.” Thomas knew the odds of him getting back home in time for his first child’s birth were nonexistent. He remembered the day his own mother died, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his wife and another baby.
“I’m going to be okay, you know.”
He pulled her close, and then they began the walk back to their plac
e. “I pray every day for that very outcome.”
“I miss you. I understand you have responsibility, more than should be placed on your shoulders, but I’m so looking forward to the day when I can wake up to you every morning.”
Once again reminded of his blessings, Thomas pushed his other feelings aside so he could enjoy his limited time with her. She brought happiness and love back to his life; two emotions ripped from him the day his mother died.
“I love you. Every day away from you is agony, but I hope to be home soon. Things aren’t looking good for the South, and I doubt this war will last much longer.”
He hoped the end of the war wouldn’t decimate everything his family had built over the years. Maude had told him the majority of their slaves would most likely stay with the family. She credited Thomas for the way he dealt with all the field hands and staff. Technically, Abraham Lincoln had declared all slaves free with the Emancipation Proclamation earlier that year. Not that the South recognized such declarations.
There was a part of Thomas, buried deep, a part he rarely allowed to surface, that hoped his brother wouldn’t make it. If that happened, the land would clearly belong to Thomas. Every time the thought reared its ugly head, he pushed it back down. At war, Nicholas tended to be off planning while Thomas was responsible for guiding the troops. He’d formed quite a bond with his men and stood beside them in battle.
Not Nicholas. Some of the men had complained about his cowardice, but Thomas—always remembering the promise he made to his father—defended his brother, saying his strategic planning kept them safe.
In truth, he was a coward, and he owed his life several times over to Thomas.
“Are you still with me?” Casey asked.
Mentally, he chastised himself for wasting a second with his wife. “I’m sorry. I am. I have a lot on my mind, not the least of which is having to leave you again.”
“Why do you think I wanted to take you home? I thought we could enjoy each other’s company for the rest of the evening. If you know what I mean?” A sly smile spread across her face, a faint, red glow spread up her cheeks, and her eyes seemed to twinkle.
7: The Seven Deadly Sins Page 8
