by Abby Brooks
Austin didn’t reply, which sent my already bad mood down the shitter. I stalked into the back to calm down and when I returned, Jack and Amelia were sitting next to Austin, giving me those sad smiles friends saved for shitty occasions.
“Haven’t seen you two in here in a long time,” I said as I plopped a paper coaster down in front of each of them.
“We came to check on you.” Amelia leaned on the bar. “You don’t look good.”
I ran a hand through the week’s worth of growth on my chin and shrugged because what could I say to that? I knew I didn’t look great. And I felt worse than I looked.
“For what it’s worth, Izzy misses you.” Amelia’s voice was soft, careful, but hope had my feet in motion.
I gripped the edge of the bar. “You’ve talked to her?”
“Of course I’ve talked to her. Evie and I are spending the evenings with her so she doesn’t feel so alone.”
“How is she?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “How do you think she is?”
“She’s not good, Jude.” Amelia shook her head.
“Do you think you could get her to call me?”
“Don’t you think you should be the one to call her?” Jack asked in what I’d come to think of as his dad voice.
I flung up my hands, glancing at Austin for backup. “I did. She won’t answer. Maybe just tell her I miss her. That I hate this. That I want to go back to the way things were.”
“It’d be better if it came from you.” Amelia placed her hand on mine and I hung my head with a sigh.
“I’ve tried but she won’t talk to me. Please, ask her to call me. Or text. Fuck, send a letter in the mail. Anything. I’d be happy with anything.”
“I love you, Jude. I really do.” Amelia squeezed my hand before letting go. “But I love Izzy too and it’s really not fair of you to ask me to get in the middle of this.”
I appealed to Jack who shrugged. “She has a point.”
Fucking hell.
I’d never felt so alone in my life.
Another couple days passed and I was starting to dig myself with a beard. It added this whole ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe to my persona. Maybe I’d throw in a dash of Austin’s forever single attitude and embrace the suck. I always thought he was crazy for never dating anyone after Mackenzie left, but he sure seemed happy. A lot happier than me, for fucking sure. Maybe he was onto something. Maybe the whole world had been sold a lie and humans would be so much better off if they kept to themselves instead of trying to break off in pairs and make families.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I dug it out.
Austin: Any chance you could swing by the shop? Got something to ask you.
I frowned at the screen. The request was fishy as hell, but I didn’t have the mental energy to think it through. I told him I’d be there shortly, rubbed my fingers through the scruff on my face one last time, and hit the road. Being in my truck made me think of Izzy. The way her hand felt in mine on the way to Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. The way her lips twitched into a smile right before she let out a laugh. The way she stared out the window, enjoying the view of Wildrose Landing as if she hadn’t spent her whole life here.
I cranked up the radio and blasted away thoughts of her.
When I made it to WRL Autobody & Repairs, I parked and hopped down, pulling up short when I stepped inside and found Austin sitting with Jack…and Alex.
“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Alex shot out of his seat. “What is he doing here?” He stabbed a finger my way.
I held up my hands. “I’m just here because Austin asked me…”
And that’s when it hit me, figuratively and almost literally. As Alex lunged in my direction, knocking over two chairs that clattered against the floor, I realized both of us had been tricked into a freaking Jackass Meeting, something I’d redubbed the Meeting of the Brotherhood last year when Jack almost messed everything up with Amelia.
Jack and Austin grabbed Alex before he could make it to me, but the look in his eyes was enough to kill. I let out a sad laugh. “You Prescotts and the eye lasers.”
“You leave my sister out of this, like you should have from the start of this crazy idea.” Alex yanked his arms away from Jack and Austin. “I won’t fucking hit him. He deserves it, but I won’t.”
Still, they kept themselves between Alex and me.
“That right there,” said Austin, gesturing between us, “is part of the reason this meeting is necessary.”
“I don’t know what you guys think you’re going to say that could change anything. I know I’m an asshole. A grade-A jackass—”
“Damn straight,” muttered Alex.
“But Izzy won’t talk to me,” I gritted out with a sharp glance his way. “She’s made her decision. What do I do? Break into her house and force her to hear me out? Stalk her at the store and embarrass her in front of customers?”
Shaking his head, Jack lowered himself into one of the chairs in the waiting room. “You’ve never had to fight for anything and it shows.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “Excuse me now?”
“Everything’s been easy for you, your whole life,” Jack said, undeterred by my expression. “You’ve never had to fight for anything. You’ve always just given people that stupid smile of yours, apologized and moved past a mistake like it was no big thing. You’ve never suffered a consequence.”
Austin nodded, claiming the chair next to Jack and crossing his ankle over his knee. “Like that time in tenth grade when you forgot to turn in your essay. You told Mrs. Ferguson you were sorry, sold her some bullshit excuse, and she gave you full credit even though it was a week late. No one else could have gotten away with that, except you.”
“What the hell does Mrs. Ferguson have to do with any of this?” I glared at my friends.
“You have half-assed your way through life and don’t have a fucking clue how to dig deep when things really matter,” Austin replied, arching an eyebrow as if daring me to disagree.
Alex scowled. “Unless Izzy doesn’t really matter…”
I set my jaw and glared in return. “She matters.”
“Then why aren’t you fighting for her?” Jack held out his hands. “Why are you just sitting on your ass, wallowing in self-pity?”
“I tried, damn it!” I stalked to the other side of the room.
“Not hard enough!” Alex slammed a fist into his hand. “You offered her a fake proposal. And a fake wedding. And a fake relationship. The moment things got hard, you let her walk away.”
“I went to her house!”
“And what? Knocked twice? Called once? On what planet is that enough?”
“What would you have me do? Break down her door?”
“If my sister matters to you half as much as you say she does, then you need to make her feel it. You need to show her that she’s worth more than some sham of a relationship because she is. Of all of us, Izzy deserves the real deal.”
“Believe me, Alex. I know. I love her. I’ve always loved her. And that’s part of the problem. Remember when we were nineteen? Home from college for the weekend and you asked me to come over then passed out? Izzy and I spent that whole night talking. We kissed, we almost slept together, but I walked the fuck away because she was too young, and I was leaving, and you had made this giant proclamation about none of us touching your sister. I’ve loved her ever since—”
“And this is how you show it?” Alex’s voice filled the room.
“By giving her the space she asked for? Yes. That’s all I’ve done, give her what she asked for. She asked me to make the proposal seem real, so that’s what I did. She asked me to talk more about my dad, so that’s what I did. She asked me to give her space, that’s what I’m doing. I don’t see how I’m the one in the wrong here!”
“I’m here to tell you, if you really love her the way you say you do, then you need to fight for her.” Alex stared my way for a long time, then sighed, closing his
eyes and shaking his head. “You thought you were doing the right thing back then, walking away from her. And honestly, that was the right choice. You weren’t mature enough, and neither was she. But I guarantee all Izzy saw was someone else she loved choosing me over her. And now? As far as she knows, you married her for Brennen. For Lily. Not for her. And you’re just letting her walk away…”
“Do you love her?” Jack’s voice was quiet.
I nodded. “More than anything.”
Alex regarded me for a long time before finally speaking. “Then damn it, Jude,” he said quietly. “You’ve gotta show her.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Izzy
I sat in Alex’s living room, my legs crossed, my foot bouncing wildly. “I don’t know why I let you talk me into this.”
My brother gave me a look he’d perfected when we were little kids, the one that said he knew way more about life than me and was doing everything he could to help me understand. “You can’t just sit in your house alone for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah, but a dinner with Mom and Dad? I don’t think I’m strong enough for this. Besides, I won’t be alone for the rest of my life. I’ll have Lily, and that should keep me pretty busy for a while.”
The thought of being a single mom both scared the hell out of me and, for some strange reason, brought me peace. Though, maybe the peace had more to do with the idea of meeting Lily than having to do it alone. I put a hand on my belly, enjoying the gentle curve that said she was in there, growing. Becoming. Getting ready to be a little person.
“Have you thought at all about how that’ll work?” Evie leaned forward, straightening the candles on the coffee table for the tenth time since I sat down. Maybe I wasn’t the only one nervous about my mother’s arrival.
I shook my head. “I know I need to. But after how crazy the last couple months have been, I’m taking it easy on myself. At least for a little while.”
The doorbell rang, then Mom and Dad stepped into the foyer along with a blast of spring air. “Alexander!” Mom sing-songed. “We’re here!”
The three of us stood and greeted my parents. Mom passed out hugs while Dad followed her, shaking hands. “Dinner smells delicious. And we brought a bottle of pinot to celebrate.” Her eyes met mine and she gave me a sad smile. “Though I know you don’t have much to celebrate right now.”
“I don’t know, being surrounded by family seems like a win to me.” Evie bumped her shoulder with mine and I was so thankful for her in that moment. “I still have some things to take care of in the kitchen. You guys go sit and chat; I’ll join you in a second.”
“I’ll help,” I blurted out. The prospect of listening to Mom and Dad fawn over Alex sounded like a death sentence and I just didn’t have it in me. I was so over feeling like I was the last person in the room to matter.
“We can’t leave you out, now can we.” Mom smiled as she patted her daughter-in-law’s arm. “Let’s move this party to the kitchen and keep Evie company.”
My shoulders slumped. So much for protecting my self-esteem.
“You mean Evie and Izzy.” Alex hit Mom with a look I couldn’t read. “We’ll keep Evie and Izzy company.”
“Right. Of course.” A saccharin smile aimed my way. “That’s what I meant.”
We piled into the kitchen and Mom uncorked the pinot, pouring glasses for everyone but me. I helped myself to an iced tea, then took over stirring a giant pot of pasta for Evie while she chopped veggies and my parents chatted with Alex. As Evie and I danced around the kitchen, I fought memories of Jude, narrating his recipe in his silly cooking show voice. I pushed them away and tried to focus on the people with me.
“Have you and Jude worked things out yet?” Mom asked. Her oh-so-sad smile said she knew I hadn’t.
So much for not thinking about him.
I shook my head. “I don’t know that there’s much to work out.”
“And here you are, about to be a struggling single mother. I just don’t know what I did wrong with you. I mean, we did so much right with Alex, it kind of makes a person think you just came this way.”
I choked on the tea I’d tried to swallow and stared at my mother with wide eyes.
“Mom.” Alex shook his head. “Not now.”
She waved his statement away. “If not now, when? She’s just never lived up to her potential. She’s had you as an example her entire life and the best she can do is run a candy shop in a tiny little town. Then she goes and rushes into marriage with your best friend. Gets pregnant, and then leaves the guy for who knows why?” Mom sighed dramatically. “I just don’t understand you and I never will.”
“You’re right, Mom.” I stared at the woman who was supposed to love me unconditionally, and it was like a veil fell from in front of my eyes. “There’s so much you don’t understand.”
“I mean, Jude Malone is such a sweet man,” she continued. “And that smile! My goodness is he handsome and I don’t think he’s done a single thing wrong in his life. I don’t know what you did to mess that up, but I swear Isabelle, you’ll never find someone that good to take you in.”
“Seriously, Mom! That’s enough!” Alex dropped a hand on the counter. “Izzy didn’t do anything wrong. She never has. I don’t know why you can’t see how amazing she is.”
I held up my hands. “Thank you, Alex, but this isn’t your fight.” I lifted my chin. “It’s mine.”
“Fight?” Mom looked appalled. “Who said anything about a fight?”
“I did, because that’s what my entire life has felt like. Fighting for your attention. Your affection. I’m a strong woman. A successful woman. I’m kind. I have friends who love me. My candy store brings me joy and allows me to get to know all the people in this town and the only time I ever feel like a failure is when I’m around you.”
Mom put a hand to her heart. “Well I never—”
“That’s right. You never. You never took the time to see me. You never took the time to nurture me. You never took the time to know me. All I’ve ever been is ‘not Alex.’ So every ounce of who I am? Of my success? That’s all on me. And sure, I’ve made a few mistakes, but starting a relationship with Jude wasn’t one of them, and neither was ending it. You don’t get to judge me. Not anymore. And for fuck’s sake Dad. How do you just sit there day in and day out, listening to this? For that matter, what kind of father shakes hands with his kids?”
Mom set her glass of wine down on the counter. “Isabelle Prescott…”
“Izzy. I go by Izzy. And I’m not a Prescott anymore. I’m a Malone. And I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go.” I hugged Alex and Evie, then paused in the doorway to meet my parents’ stunned gaze. “I’ve loved you my whole life, and I will keep loving you, but I won’t let your opinion of me matter. Not anymore.”
And with that, I stormed through the house and stumbled into the evening, sucking air and fighting tears. Evie and Alex pushed through the door, racing down the porch steps as I put my hands on my knees to catch my breath.
“Izzy! Wait!” Alex bellowed as he caught up to me, wrapping me in a giant hug.
“Did I really just do that? Did I really just say that to them?” A breeze blew my hair across my face and I swiped it away, raking my fingers into my hairline and staring at the house. I felt so free.
“You did. You said all the things they needed to hear.” Alex grinned like I’d won an Olympic gold. “I’m so proud of you. Please stay. I’ll ask Mom and Dad to leave.”
Evie nodded her approval of the idea. “I’d way rather spend the evening with you anyway.”
I took in a long breath and let it out. “You know, I think I’m proud of me too. And I really appreciate you guys asking me to stay, but I kind of want to be alone to digest this.”
The truth was, I wanted to call Jude and tell him I’d finally told Mom and Dad what they could do with all their judgement. I wanted to hear the smile warm his voice. I wanted to hear his pride. I wanted to pretend like everything was okay bet
ween us. That things hadn’t gone off the rails and the love I felt for him was enough to transmute our fake marriage into a real one.
But he hadn’t called since the day I’d moved out. As far as I could tell, he’d gone about his life as if nothing had changed. Meanwhile, I could barely function. Spring was my favorite season, so full of hope and rebirth after the misery of winter and I couldn’t even enjoy the buds on the trees, the birdsong, or the smell of damp earth rising to greet me each morning.
I couldn’t call Jude and share what I said to my parents. I wouldn’t hear the pride in his voice I needed to hear. He wouldn’t be my Prince Charming, sweeping in to rescue me from my poor sad life.
No.
I needed to rescue myself. To pick myself up and put the pieces back together and remember how it felt to be strong and grounded and confident in who I was.
Jude
And just like that, we had a court date for the custody hearing, and it was only three days away. My lawyer had said things might move quickly once the ball started rolling and damn if he hadn’t been right.
Three days.
Three measly days until I might get custody of my little brother. My lawyer assured me the hearing was only a formality. That there was no way they’d turn us down, especially because Brennen’s mom hadn’t put up much of a fight.
My first instinct was to call Izzy. Not because she promised to be there for the hearing, but because she was the only person who truly knew how much this whole thing meant to me. I wanted to hear her smile…no…fuck that.
I wanted to see her smile.
I wanted her standing in front of me, clapping her hands and bouncing with happiness when I told her. I wanted her to throw her arms around me, nuzzle into my neck, and tell me things were working out exactly how they were supposed to.
But she wasn’t here. Because nothing was working out the way I wanted.
