by JM Stewart
Four years ago, Gray and Maddie had been an item…until she discovered the editor she’d been working with owned the company. At the time, he’d worked at the publishing house under an assumed name, in an effort to prove the lies spreading about how he’d come to own the company wrong. He’d planned to tell his employees, but someone in the company leaked the story to the paper first. Maddie had discovered the truth before he had the chance to tell her.
After spending three years missing her, Gray had concocted a scheme to win her back. He had Christina set Maddie up on a blind date. He didn’t tell her until they were due to meet at the bachelor auction that the man she’d been chatting with online had been Gray in disguise. Cassie had told him from the beginning the charade was a bad idea, but Gray had been desperate. In the end, it had almost cost him their relationship.
“Why the hell would you do something like again?” Cassie asked.
His smile fell, his expression sobering. “Honest. I didn’t know. He did that all on his own. I would never do that to you.”
The truth was, the gesture would almost have melted her defenses. She had the heart of a romantic. She preferred skirts over pants, pink over black, and had a love affair with gorgeous heels. She’d even designed a line of jewelry, delicate pieces with a feminine flair. The Romance Collection.
Gray was right, though. The gesture screamed of Tyler. It would be just like him to show up with a grin and go, “Surprise!”
“Besides.” Gray shook his head, lines forming around his mouth. “You missed him. You can deny it, but I was there when you got the call, and I’ve been there every day since. His death hit you hard. You needed last night as much as he did.”
She sighed, relenting, and took the coffee from his hand, sipping at the much needed dose of caffeine. He knew how she liked her coffee, too: a vanilla latte with extra foam.
Once bolstered, she stepped back and pulled the door open wider. “Fine. You got me there.” She nodded at the box in his hands, unable to hide her smile. “What’d you bring me?”
“An assortment of croissants.” Gray grinned and jiggled the box, his voice singsong. “There’s a roulé aux noix in here.”
Cassie’s mouth watered. Oh, now he had her. Le Panier was her favorite place, hands down. An authentic French bakery-slash-bistro in Pike Place Market, they served everything from sandwiches to delectable pastries. The roulé aux noix was her favorite—buttery, flaky goodness filled with a mixture of sugar and walnuts.
“God, I love you for knowing me so well. For that alone, you get to come in.” Stomach now grumbling, she snatched the box from his hands. “And I’ll let you keep your balls. Wouldn’t want to disappoint Maddie. She and I are just becoming friends.”
Gray chuckled as he closed the door, his quiet footsteps behind her as she made her way into the kitchen. “I didn’t come find you last night because I figured you needed your space.”
She let out a huff of a laugh as she set her coffee onto the counter and turned, pulling a small plate from a cupboard. “No you didn’t. You were afraid I’d lop ’em off right there.”
He slid onto a stool at the breakfast bar, folding his hands on the counter. “No, I’m serious. I left you several messages. When you didn’t call me back, I was tempted to come find you, make sure you were okay, but Maddie forced me to leave you be.”
The soft tone of his voice stopped her. She set the plate on the counter and turned sideways to look at him. “I appreciate the concern. Tell her I said thank you. I needed time to think. I got your messages. I had plans to call you this morning, but you beat me to it.”
He quirked a brow. “I take it he found you?”
She nodded. Turning back to the box, she opened the lid and bent to inhale the luscious aroma. After snatching out the roulé aux noix, she set it on the plate and joined him at the breakfast bar. She took a moment to bite into the sweet, buttery goodness, moaning around her mouthful. “You’re a god, Gray. An absolute god.”
“You’re welcome.” He nudged her with an elbow. “So? Don’t go quiet on me now. What happened? Tyler never came back. You disappeared. I figured the two of you were together, but clearly he’s not here.”
She wiped her mouth with a napkin and shrugged. Remorse rose over her, and she slid off her stool to fetch her coffee from the counter.
“He found me in the parking lot and kissed me. I assumed he was playing a cruel joke, because he ought to be pissed at me. I wouldn’t want to see me again. I spent three years telling myself I needed to get over him but silently praying he’d show up one day. I may not have wanted to marry the man, but dead is something altogether different, you know? I was just so damn glad he was alive. And suddenly there he was.” She peered at him as she tipped the warm liquid into her mouth. “What do you think I did?”
Gray nodded, his mouth forming a thin, disapproving line. “You insulted him.”
“And left him eating my dust.” She moved around the island and reclaimed her seat beside him with a sigh. “He came over later.”
“I’m assuming he didn’t stay.”
She took another bite of the pastry, allowing herself a moment to enjoy the much needed sugar before answering him.
“I asked him to leave.” She peered down at her plate, that ugly mix of remorse and need caught in her chest again. “I wanted him to stay and he couldn’t, and I just couldn’t do it. For three years, I’ve been running from the way I feel about him. From what I really wanted, deep down. On your wedding day, I got honest with myself. What you and Maddie have? I want that. I don’t know what to do with it, but I can’t deny anymore that I want it.”
He wrapped a beefy arm around her shoulders, hugging her against the warmth of his side. “So go get it.”
She shook her head as she straightened away from him. “He has psych evals first, but I think he wants to go back. Maybe it’s crazy and mixed up, but I can’t watch him do it. I just can’t. Especially now.”
Gray sat silent for a moment. “I’m guessing he wants to go back because it’s easier.”
The somber tone of his voice had her looking over at him. “Than what?”
“Being home. The best thing Arthur ever did for me was take me home that night, but it wasn’t an easy process. I got so used to living with my father’s anger, with surviving from day to day, that living with Arthur, being taken care of, not having to fight, didn’t feel safe. I kept expecting the bottom to drop out from under me. I can’t imagine what Tyler went through over there, but I’ve heard it isn’t easy coming home.”
He finally glanced over at her, and the haunted look in his eyes told her he remembered his birth father. Arthur Bradbury, owner of the midsized publishing company Gray had since taken over, had adopted Gray at the age of fourteen. He was a kindhearted old man. One who’d cared enough to yank a small boy from the dangerous home he’d grown up in. Scars covered Gray’s back, the leftovers of beatings his birth father had given him. Experiences he shouldn’t have had to endure.
Gray slid off his stool, peering down at her, and she tipped her head back to look into his face. “Don’t do what I did. I let Maddie go when I should have fought for her, and it cost us three years we can’t get back. I was afraid if she saw how damaged I was, she wouldn’t want me.”
She reached out to take his hand, squeezing his fingers. “Your scars wouldn’t have bothered her.”
“Mmm. I know that now. You told me once you regretted hurting Tyler, the day he asked you to marry him, you remember?”
“I remember.” She didn’t have to ask to know where he intended to go with this line of questioning. He’d tell her the same thing she told Maddie seven months ago.
When Maddie had ended her relationship with Gray a second time, Cassie had gone over to smooth things out and gave her some advice straight from the heart. “I had a Gray once. Tyler was everything to me, and I lost him. Trust me. You’ll regret not having Gray more than you’ll ever regret loving him.”
Hadn’t sh
e had the same thought last night, that if she could do it over, she’d do it differently?
Gray nudged her shoulder, pulling her from the memory. “This is your chance. By some miracle, he’s come back. Don’t let this opportunity pass you by.”
He waited, as if expecting an answer, but she couldn’t give him one. She didn’t know how.
“I have to go. Maddie and I are going out for breakfast.” He dropped his arm and stood for a moment, staring at her. “Promise you’ll call me if you need me?”
She smiled. “I will.”
“Good.” He kissed the top of her head and headed for the door, pausing as he pulled it open. “Think about what I said, okay?”
He didn’t give her time to respond, closing the door with a quiet snap.
Cassie stared down at the “sugar bomb,” as Gray so often called them, her heart heavy. He was right, of course. She’d spent the last three years wishing she could take back everything she’d told Tyler the day he’d asked her to marry him.
Only the regret had come because she’d thought him dead. That was normal, right? To wish you had one more chance with your loved one, to say the things you should have told them while they lived?
Except Tyler was alive, and she was reeling from it all. She’d been trying to forget him, desperate to move on with her life, and in one night, a single moment in time, he’d done what he had when she met him—turned her life on its head.
Chapter Four
Ty.”
At the sound of Cassie’s surprised voice, Tyler stopped pacing and turned. She stood frozen on the other side of the threshold, still in the pink pajamas she’d had on last night, wide-eyed and stunned.
“What are you doing here so early?” She folded her arms, looking at him like he’d lost his mind.
Hell, he probably had. He’d come over only last night, and it was barely 9:00 a.m., but he had to see her. Last night, he’d dreamt about her. They’d tortured her, and he’d had to watch her die. He’d woken in a panic. As soon as the sky beyond his window began to lighten, breaking up the shadows pervading his room, he’d borrowed his mother’s car and come straight here. Traffic from Renton wasn’t bad, but it was the longest drive of his life. There were a surprising number of people on the road, most of them likely heading to church.
He needed to prove to himself she really was okay, to see her with his own two eyes. Despite knowing he’d likely woken her up, waiting the few minutes it took for her to answer the door had only amped up his stress. His mind had filled with ugly images. His heart hammered in his throat. He was sweating for crying out loud.
The sight of her, though, eased the panic seated in his chest. Even if she closed the door in his face, he wouldn’t be sorry he’d come. For that singular moment, looking into her big, beautiful eyes and seeing her unharmed calmed the shaking he’d woken with.
When he didn’t say anything, Cassie quirked a brow.
He shook his head, at a loss to explain. “I had to see you.”
Yeah. Good move, Benson. He’d told her pretty much the same thing yesterday.
Not waiting for her response, Tyler stepped across the threshold. He stood for a moment, hovering over her, afraid that if he touched her those awful images would come again. He lifted his trembling hands anyway to cup her cheeks. When she didn’t, in fact, evaporate, he blew out a relieved breath.
“Jesus. You’re real.” He released her and took a step back.
Concern took shape in her eyes as her gaze scanned down his body. “Ty, I can see you shaking. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” An irrational, half-cocked laugh escaped him. God, he probably sounded like a freakin’ lunatic. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I am now.”
Cassie took a step toward him. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Bad dream.” He waved a flippant hand in the air, praying she’d let it go, and pivoted, pacing several steps out into the vestibule.
God, he was making an ass out of himself. Here he was, on her doorstep at nine in the morning, shaking like a leaf in a windstorm. She’d have questions, no doubt. Ones he had no desire to answer.
To cover himself and stave off those questions, he turned back toward her and folded his arms. “You still owe me a date.”
For a long moment she didn’t say anything. Her eyes worked his face, reaching and searching in a way that made him feel naked, like he’d bared his demons. Finally, she arched a brow. “You came all the way over here at nine in the morning to remind me of that?”
He shook his head. Christ. He really was screwing this up. “I just needed to see you.”
Watching her, the same idea he’d had yesterday flitted through his mind again, and he allowed himself to run with it. He’d decided something on the way over. She was bound and determined to keep him at arm’s length, but he had every intention of breaking down her defenses. To find out once and for all whether or not he was right—that she really did care more than she let on.
If he was lucky, he’d cover having made an ass of himself, and she’d soften enough to agree to go out with him.
“I also believe I owe you, and I decided I didn’t want to wait.” He closed the door, then sank to his knees at her feet and sat for a moment, peering up at her. Waiting. They’d done this enough times he wouldn’t have to tell her what he wanted. This had been her idea once upon a time. In a playful moment, she’d giggled and pointed at the floor. On your knees, slave.
Now those gorgeous brown eyes lowered to half-mast. Steeling himself for the contact, he skimmed his palms up her thighs and over her hips. Like last night, the panic never came. The last, leftover wisps of this morning’s ugly dreams evaporated, lost in the feel of her body beneath his hands.
When he reached the waistband of her pajama pants, he stopped and waited, peering up at her. She had to feel him shaking, but he focused on her eyes. Every inch of him waited for her to stop him, to tell him no and demand him to leave.
She didn’t. Her shoulders slumped, her perfectly polished nails grazing his scalp as she slid her fingers into his hair. “This makes three times you’ve ambushed me, Ty.”
“I happen to like surprising you. Keeps you on your toes.” He smiled as he tugged her pants down, taking her underwear with them, helping her step out of them. Then he caressed her thighs again, allowing himself a moment to enjoy the suppleness of her skin. Smooth, like creamy butter, and so damn soft. God, he’d missed this, the simplicity of being able to touch her.
When he stroked his thumbs over her outer lips, opening her, her breathing hitched. The delicate skin of her inner folds glistened in the low overhead lights. Unable to resist tasting her, he dipped his tongue in, a tender stroke along her slit, and a shudder moved through her that he felt in every cell. So he moved in again, this time flicking her clit. She let out a low, agonized moan. Her body relaxed, her hips bowing into him.
“That’s my girl.” He ached to dive in, to grip her tight little ass in his hands and bury his face in her scent, in her heat. For so many months he’d thought he’d never see her again. To get to touch her was like getting his hands on a piece of heaven. He wanted to lose himself and every godforsaken memory in her.
Until there wasn’t anything left but her. He needed to feel her come apart in his hands. For her fingers to fist in his hair and pull him in. And he needed, more than he needed to draw his next breath, to feel her shuddering in his arms.
He wanted this to be good for her, too. Her orgasms were always better when he went slowly, when he indulged his senses. Those were the ones that caught her by surprise, that left her breathless and shaking.
So, he forced himself to take his time, nuzzled her instead, nudging her mound with his nose, enjoying the musky, sweet scent of her. Stroked her sensitive inner thighs, letting his thumbs graze her lips and licking softly at her.
Cassie, however, was Cassie: a beautiful, demanding, and stubborn woman used to getting what she wanted. She gripped his head in her hands, al
ready pulling at him. “Goddamn it, Ty, stop teasing.”
He chuckled but didn’t move any faster. For far too many months, he’d thought he’d never get to experience this again.
“Sorry, baby, but I aim to take my time.” He bent his head, sucking her clit into his mouth, and let it pop free.
Her quiet moan made his cock ache. She was heaven, the sweetest fruit.
“God, I missed this. Being able to touch you, to feel your reactions. You taste incredible. Hot and musky and sweet.” He was rambling. Experience had taught him that talking to her, telling her how he wanted her, made her hot.
She didn’t disappoint, letting out another moan, her knees beginning to shake.
To help support her, he guided her backward, until she came up against the wall, and leaned in. He stroked her with the flat of his tongue, a long, slow swipe that ended with a flick against the underside of her clit. “I’m going to enjoy the hell out of feeling you come around my tongue.”
She moaned again, a sound of desperation. “Oh, God. Please.”
“Please what?” He needed to hear her say the words.
She gripped the sides of his head hard, pulling him deeper into her. “I need this.”
“So do I.” He sucked on her clit again, only enough to drive her insane, to rush her to the edge, and released her. “Say it, Cassie. Tell me what you want.”
Panting and breathless, she finally gave in, letting her hands drop to her sides. “Make me come, Ty. God, send me to the moon.”
“You got it, baby.” He didn’t hold back this time, didn’t tease, but gripped her ass in his hands and buried his face in her heat, licking and sucking at her swollen clit with abandon. When he inserted a finger, stroking her inner walls, her body went rigid. She gasped and held her breath, her whole body shaking, her hips bucking, riding his mouth like she owned him.
God, he loved it. She did own him, and he wasn’t even sure she knew it or believed it, but he aimed to prove it to her. He held her tight in his hands, supporting her as he stroked and licked and sucked through every pulse, determined to extend her pleasure as long as possible.
