by JM Stewart
In real life, she owned a bookstore with her best friend, Madison O’Riley. They sold rare, hard-to-find books. Hannah was a geek. She’d survived her time growing up by sticking her nose in a book, by learning to keep her eyes open while blending in with her surroundings.
Truth was, she was scared of her shadow most of the time. When she became comfortable with someone, she could talk their ear off, but in real life, she was a wallflower. Online, she was safe, because nobody could see her. They couldn’t reject her before they’d even gotten to know her, and she didn’t have to worry about people leaving her life. If she admitted he terrified her, she might as well admit she’d lied about her persona, too, which would do nothing but change the entire dynamic of their relationship.
The word typed itself onto the screen anyway. She had to be honest or come up with a flimsy excuse, and she hated lying, especially to him. She might not be able to pick him from a lineup, but she knew one thing—he really was a nice guy, lonely like her, and lying to him made her feel too much like the very thing she loathed.
JustAGurl456: yes
Seconds passed. She bit down on her nail again, nervousness clutching at her stomach. Had she scared him off by being too honest?
bikerboy357: 312-555-1725. That’s my cell number. How ’bout you call me then.
Her gaze shot to her phone, lying on the coffee table across from her. Its dark shape beckoned, daring her to pick it up. She swallowed hard. The thought of talking to him had become her latest fantasy. Getting to hear the sexy sound of his voice and the noises he made when he came. His breath sawing in and out as his arousal ramped up, as they pushed each other to the point of no return and he tipped over the edge with her. Yeah, she wanted that. Desperately.
Another message popped onto her screen.
bikerboy357: All right, honesty time? I’m dying to know the sound of your voice. It would make you feel not quite so far away. I hate that I can’t see you or touch you. You’re a big part of my day, but I don’t even know what your laugh sounds like.
His admission tugged at the isolated place inside. She couldn’t deny she yearned for the same things. Or that she’d had the very same thoughts.
Then and there the decision made itself, and she snatched her phone off the table. It didn’t have to change things. He still wouldn’t be able to see her.
Her fingers trembled as she punched in his number, and she hesitated at the last digit, her thumb hovering over the CALL button. She couldn’t go back after this.
bikerboy357: I always imagined you’d have a sweet voice. I can close my eyes and pretend you’re here with me.
Oh God, that did it. It was like he’d snatched the thought right out of her head. Knowing he understood what it was to be lonely made talking to him irresistible. She swallowed down the fear and punched the CALL button before she lost the nerve. As the phone rang, her heart rate skyrocketed, a dull pulsing in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath in a desperate attempt not to sound as nervous as she felt. With any luck, her tongue wouldn’t trip over itself.
Please, God, don’t let me say something stupid.
The line rang once, then twice. Her breath stalled as she waited for the click, for a voice to sound on the other end of the line. Was he as nervous as she was?
“Hey.”
His voice rumbled along the line, low and etched with a happy edge. Hot little shivers raced along the surface of her skin and a stupid smile stretched across her face. She’d thought of this moment a million times, and he fulfilled the fantasy. He had a sexy bedroom voice, deep and powerful but quiet, one she could envision listening to while lying in the dark. The thought of the naughty things he’d whisper in her ear had fire licking along every nerve ending.
She settled back on the couch and closed her eyes. “So why not find a real woman?”
“You’re not real?”
His voice held an amused tease, and her pulse skipped. He had a sense of humor. A man with a sense of humor was sexy as hell.
“I’m a voice on the other end of the phone.”
Another silence. This one longer.
“Actually, I consider you a friend. Someone I’d like to meet in real life. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. But to answer your question, it’s…complicated.”
The uneasy edge in his voice had her opening her eyes. She sat up, her heart skipping a panicky beat. “Complicated? You don’t have a wife, do you? Be honest.”
He laughed. The deep, sexy rumble had hot little waves rolling through her belly. “No. No wife, I promise. Just too much life. What’s your name, sweetheart?”
Oh God. He had to ask her that. They’d agreed on this early on. For the sake of anonymity, she hadn’t wanted to know his real name. That had to be pathetic. She had a lover whose name she didn’t know and whose face she wouldn’t recognize on the street if she passed him.
She drew a shaky breath and released it. She could do this. Hadn’t she always wanted to move beyond her fear of being judged? She hadn’t had a real date in over a year. The last one ended in disaster. The guy, a man she met on a match-matching website no less, had taken one look at her face and made excuses, like all the others.
She hadn’t had sex for even longer, when her college sweetheart announced, out of the clear blue sky, that he’d fallen for someone else. She and Dane had met her first year in college. He was her first love, her first everything. She’d lost her virginity to him. They’d spent five years together, all through college and a year beyond. He dumped her a year ago when he announced he was getting married. Had cruelly pointed out his new fiancée was someone less encumbered and more exciting. He’d called her vanilla.
“I’d like a name to put to the voice. Truth is, as addicted as I am to our chats, I miss the human element. I’ve been dying to make you a little more real.”
The hunger in his tone made her throb. She couldn’t not answer him. This might be a fantasy, but it kept her going. She needed this. “H-Hannah. My name is Hannah.”
He let out a quiet, thoughtful little “hmm.” “That’s a very sexy name. It’s nice to meet you, Hannah. I’m Cade. Tell me about you, baby. What do you do? You never told me. You’re always shrouded in mystery.”
She settled deeper into the couch, letting the image of him wash over her and the husky timbre of his voice settle her nerves. “I don’t want to talk. I want you to make me come. Tell me what you’re wearing.”
She didn’t want to get to know him or consider him as anything more than what he was—some random guy whose hot voice and sexy words made her come so hard he often left her gasping for breath. Something she never achieved alone. Yes, she wanted more, but to give in to the urge was dangerous at best.
Cade tsked, low and amused. “You’re always all business. Do you ever relax?”
“That’s what you are. You’re my vacation from life. Except I can’t see you, so you’re going to have to fill in the blanks for me.”
“That can be arranged, you know. Us meeting, I mean. Tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
Her heart stalled. She touched the scar running down the side of her face. She had thought about it, a lot, but just the mention of meeting him in person had panic clawing its way through her chest and closing its icy hands around her throat. Envisioning his reaction, the disgust in his eyes when he looked at her…
She squeezed her eyes shut, her breathing coming harsh and shallow. He was ruining the moment, ruining her high by bringing reality into their exchange. He’d changed the rules, damn it.
She opened her eyes, desperate to drag this back to where it ought to be. “Are you hard, Cade? Is your cock in your hand yet? I bought lingerie for you today. A little see-through number. You can see my nipples. They’re hard. Just for you.”
He growled again, a muted sound that was half needy groan. The sound a man made when he was aroused and desperate for relief. “All right, I give. I’m hard as steel and you’re the reason. And since you as
ked so nicely, I’m thinking about you. I want to know what you look like, every curve of your body. I want to be able to look into your eyes, know your smile. I yearn to know the feel of your skin. God, I bet it’s so soft.”
His words and the hunger within them shivered all the way down her spine, settling in a desperate place. Getting to hear him made breaking protocol worth every nervous heartbeat. She wanted to add to her fantasy, to ramp it up, so when she lay in the darkness of night, easing the ache by herself for the hundredth time, she wouldn’t feel so alone. She had another aspect to make her fantasy a little more tangible. She’d never admit it to him, but she yearned for the same thing. For him to be standing in front of her. To know the warmth of his skin, the softness of his mouth, and the strength of his embrace as he closed his arms around her.
She couldn’t risk it, though. They had something good here. She craved more, the physical touch of his hands on her body, but hearing his voice would have to do because she wouldn’t take the chance he’d end up like all the rest. She’d broken the rules with Dane and look where it got her. “Please don’t make this difficult. This isn’t what we agreed on.”
He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not, but I’m addicted to you. God, I can’t even tell you. I haven’t had dinner yet, haven’t even taken off my tie, but I had to talk to you. You’re the first thing I want as soon as I get home. I’m hard all day because I look forward to talking to you at night. And up until tonight, I didn’t even know your name. I don’t know what you look like either, just what you’ve told me, and I crave it.”
She closed her eyes and drew a shuddering breath. Knowing he looked forward to their chats as much as she did relaxed a knot in her stomach. Somehow, right then, it made him more than just a figment of her vivid imagination. She wanted to ask him, again, why he didn’t find a flesh-and-blood woman, a one-night stand, but he continued before the words could leave her tongue.
“I’m going to be in Seattle next week. In fact, most of my clients are in Seattle. It’s where my family’s from. I grew up there. I go there a lot for business. The thought of being there and not getting to see you is driving me crazy. I’ve been back twice since we met, and every time I come, I have the same desire. To see you.” He paused. “Have coffee with me. Only coffee. We can play it by ear from there. I have to see you, baby.”
God, he had no idea how tempted she was. She couldn’t deny she wanted the same thing. She’d thought of little else for weeks. What he looked like. The curve of his lips when he smiled and the broadness of his chest. How his hands would feel sliding over her skin.
It was long past time to distract him. “Take your cock out, Cade. Stroke it for me, long and slow.”
Another moment of silence rose between them. Had she pushed too hard? Had she ruined the moment for him?
Finally he sighed, a sound of acquiescence.
“All right, baby. We’ll play it your way. I’m too desperate to argue with you.” The sound of a zipper being pulled down came over the line, whisper soft, and Cade released a ragged breath. “My cock’s out. The sound of your voice has me so turned on. I’m stroking for you, long and slow, the way you like it. Tell me what you want me to do. I’m all yours.”
Grateful for the change in subject, she closed her eyes and immersed herself in the sound of his voice, in the fantasy he represented. She slipped her hand into her panties and dipped her fingers inside herself. The sound of his voice turned her on as well. She was already wet, and her clit pulsed, sending a gratifying rush of delight when she caressed it with the tip of her thumb. “Tell me what you’re thinking about while you stroke.”
He let out a quiet, shuddering breath. “You. I’m wishing like hell this was your mouth wrapped around me. I’m imagining what you’d look like on your knees at my feet, looking up at me.”
And just that easy, the desire flared like a glowing bonfire between them. It was the way it always was with him. So easy. They’d started out arguing opposite sides of the book they were reading. The attraction between them had grown as organically as the trees outside her apartment building. The sound of his voice had added a touch of reality and her body responded to the urgency in his.
She gasped as her mind took his hot image and ran with it. Her clit pulsed again in response to the images bombarding her thoughts. “God, I want that, too.”
He grunted this time, a desperate, frustrated sound. “You’re killing me, you know that? You have no idea how much I wish you were here. Slip your fingers into your pussy, baby. Be my hands. Tell me what you feel like.”
She did as he asked, imagining him beside her, that her fingers were his. The sweet invasion had every sensitive nerve ending coming alive, and she gasped. “I’m so wet. You have me so turned on.”
“You like hearing my voice.” His held a hint of amusement.
She bit her lower lip. Her fingers stilled as her nerves rose again. Did she dare tell him the truth? Some part of her said she shouldn’t, but the word left her mouth anyway. She never could resist telling him things she shouldn’t. Like how much she wanted him. “Yes.”
“Me too. You have the sexiest voice. Soft and sweet. I’m on the edge already. Have been all damn day, but your voice…God, your voice turns me on. Tell me what you’d do to me if I were there.”
She swept her index finger over her clit. Her breathing ramped up a notch, coming in short rasps. Her mind filled with the images. Of him, seated on a couch, like her, his shirt open, tie crooked, pants unbuttoned. Oh yeah. She knew exactly what she’d do if she were there. “I want exactly that. I’d drop to my knees at your feet and suck your cock.”
“You like that, baby?”
This time, his words came low and quiet. His voice had taken on an edge, and his breathing became a soft, erratic huff in her ear. It had her envisioning him closing his eyes, dropping his head back, losing himself in her voice as his hand stroked the length of his cock. The desperate edge in his voice made her wonder…was he as close to coming as she was? The thought only made her hotter.
She slid her fingers over her clit, circled, then down her slit and inside, working them in and out, imagining they were his instead. Every pump of her fingers tossed her closer and closer to the edge. Hearing his desire had ramped up her body’s reaction. The fantasy filled her mind, of them watching each other, and had her orgasm hovering just beyond reach.
God, how was it possible to be this hot already, just from hearing his voice? “I’d love to suck you. I always imagined you were long and thick. Are you leaking? I’d lap it up with my tongue.”
He drew a shuddering breath and let out a quiet curse. “God, I want you. I’m so damn close. The sound of your voice is making me crazy. I ache to be inside you. I want to fuck you until neither one of us can walk. Until you scream my name and come around me. You have me tied in knots, baby.”
His words sent her over the edge. Her climax struck like a starburst, erupting through her. Colors exploded behind her eyelids. Muscles tightened and loosened, her heaving body clamping around her fingers as a rush of white-hot pleasure washed through her. She cried out, pumping her fingers harder in an attempt to make her orgasm last as long as possible.
Cade’s groan echoed over the line, low and etched with the same desperation and intense satisfaction rushing through her. In a flash, the image filled her mind. His eyes squeezed shut, his fist pumping as jets of his come covered his chest and belly…
The image had another wave rushing over her, this one stronger than the last. Her body bowed off the couch. Her pussy clenched around her fingers, the intensity seeming to rip her apart at the seams.
When the wracking spasms subsided, she collapsed back into the couch, panting and spent. They sat in silence, only the sound of their combined breathing, harsh and erratic, between them. She wanted to thank him. She hadn’t come that hard in…probably ever. It had been years at least since she’d last felt the sweet, sleepy lull of sexual satisfaction. The words, however, wouldn�
�t leave her mouth. Exhaustion seeped over her limbs. Her eyelids drooped, her boneless body melting into the soft cushions.
“I have to see you, Hannah. That was incredible. Jesus, I think I saw stars. Think about what it would be like for real. My cock. My fingers. My mouth. On you. All over you. God, I’m hard again just thinking about it. We can make it happen. I’m going to be in Seattle for two weeks. Tell me you don’t crave the real thing the way I do.”
The desperation in his voice grabbed her, jerking her from the luscious lull of satiation. She couldn’t deny she wanted the same thing. Lying there with her fingers still buried inside of herself, alone on her living room couch, the emptiness of her life settled over her. The way it always did when their exchanges ended.
She opened her eyes as the inherent intimacy of what they’d shared hit her full force, gripping her chest. Truth was, she wasn’t a one-night-stand kind of girl. Deep down, she wanted a full relationship, and that part of her said he ought to be there beside her. Up until this point, their online affair had kept her going and eased the ache with little risk. Over the course of the last few minutes, however, it had lost its appeal. All because he’d broken protocol and had her call him. She’d heard his voice, had come so hard she lost her breath, and she craved more. Masturbating would never be the same. It would never again be enough.
She slipped her fingers from herself and sighed. “You’re right. I need the real thing. I need you.”
“Then meet me.” Another plea filled with all the same hunger that had her shaking.
“But how do I know you aren’t some weirdo who’s going to kidnap me or kill me?” She shouldn’t have asked him that. She should have turned him down flat and removed the unbearable temptation right then and there. Talking to him had always been easy. It was what pulled her to him and made him so damn terrifying at the same time.
He laughed. “You’re right. It’s a risk, I know. How about we meet in public? At the base of the Space Needle. I’ll wear a red tie so you’ll know it’s me. That way, you can see me, but I can’t see you. Then you can decide if you want me, too.”
