Hell, if she thinks I’m done fighting though, she has another thing coming.
She might think it was all pretend, but I know the truth. Whether Rose is biologically mine or not, I love her like she’s my daughter. And I love Aria. Everything about our situation might be messed up, but she was wrong -- we are a family.
And I’m going to prove that to her.
I’m driving away from Santa Monica as the sun sets, casting bright pinks and purples across the sky. I wish she was in this car right now, by my side. Tears fucking fill my eyes and I wipe them away, trying to get a goddamn grip.
I call my brother, Ellis, as I drive knowing he has a solid head on his shoulder. The moment he picks up, he knows something is wrong. “Did Ashley come back?” he asks.
I explain to him that it's a hell of a lot worse than that.
“Man, what a rollercoaster. But now that you’re out of her life you’ll have time to--”
I cut him off. “I don’t want more time. I want them. Aria and Rose.”
“I get that, but it’s more complicated than you’re making it out to be. Rose has a father, somewhere. He probably doesn’t even know he has a kid.”
“True but--”
“No, Tatum, I don’t think you do. You aren’t her dad. You aren’t her family. You need to let her go.”
“I was calling for support.”
“Yeah? well, good. I’m offering it. I saw on ESPN that you're playing this Sunday. So, the support I can give you right now is to get your head on straight and focus. You want to take the team back to the Superbowl then you’re going to have to step up.”
“Fuck, you’re not pulling any punches, are you?”
“You’re my big brother and I love you, man, but Rose is not your family.”
I rub the back of my neck, but there’s no getting rid of the tension there. “You sound like Aria.”
“Yeah? Well, sounds like she’s a smart girl then.”
I grunt. She is, but not about this. “I’m not ready to let them go.”
“Look,” he says. “Take the rest of the week and focus on the Chargers. Let Aria cool off, and then you can talk.”
I hate to admit it, but he’s right. If I want to make Aria mine, I need to give her space. I need to let her process the situation on her own. I don’t know all her life story, but I know enough to know her independence means a lot to her. I can be her protector without keeping her under my wing.
“You’re right,” I say, pulling into my parking garage. “Kills me to admit it, but I think what you’re saying makes sense.”
He laughs. “Sure as hell I’m right. Oh, and you need to call Mom. She’s already made like six quilts for her granddaughter.”
I end the call, dreading walking into my front door. For the last six weeks, I have had two beautiful girls at home to greet me at the end of the day. And now? Now I have nothing but memories.
* * *
After the game on Sunday, I head to the recovery room for a session wearing a NormaTec Recovery Boot. It uses compressed air to massage my knee and helps speed recovery. It’s a newer therapy, but I’m willing to do anything if it means I can be on the field with my teammates.
When my phone buzzes, my pulse quickens hoping it’s Aria. Even though I haven’t really heard from her all week. She said she needed space and apparently, she meant it. My texts have only received cursory replies of All’s good. She’s doing well. I’ll keep you posted.
It kills me every time because I want her to call me, to give me a chance to say, I love you, Aria. Come home. Please. I’m not above begging, but I respect her too damn much to put her in that situation.
But the call isn’t from Aria. It’s Charlotte Beckett.
“Hey, Charlie,” I say. “What’s up?” We haven’t talked since the story first leaked about me being a father. She was shocked but happy for me knowing that being a dad is something I’ve always wanted. She has no idea that Rose isn’t mine.
“What’s up?” she laughs. “You are so freaking modest. You killed it tonight.”
I nod to my physical therapist, Reggie, and take a seat as the compression boot is pulled onto my leg. “Yeah, it was a good game.”
“Good game? Tatum, that fourth-quarter play is legendary. I mean, that’s what Spence was shouting the entire time,” she laughs. “He woke up the baby he was so excited. And how is that girl of yours?” she asks.
“Uh, pretty good,” I say, not wanting to get into it while my trainer is a few feet away.
“Well, great, because Spencer and I are going to be in LA this week and we want to see you and meet her, of course.”
“This week?” I run a hand over my jaw, wondering how I’m going to make this work. I hate the idea of Charlie and Spencer seeing me in such a fucking mess. But it’s unavoidable. Charlie is one of my closest friends and I’d rather she hears this from me than the news.
“Yeah, that sound good?” she asks. “Maybe we can do dinner at your place?”
“Uh, sure. Just text me when. I’ll be traveling to Dallas on Friday for next week’s game, but I’ll be here most of the week.”
“Congrats again, Tatum. You killed it today. See you soon!”
I end the call and scroll through my messages as my knee is worked on. The game went well today and my knee held up. I should feel on top of the world. But my head throbs with the truth. I feel empty. Lost. And there is no number of touchdowns that can change that. I need Aria and Rose in my life. And until I do, nothing else matters.
“Reggie,” I say. “Remembering our conversation from a few weeks ago? When you said I should ask if I ever need any help?”
“What’s the trouble, man?”
I press my fingers to my temples. “I need help finding someone.”
He is an ex-LAPD detective. He knows people who know people.
“Who are you looking for?” he asks, brows narrowing.
“Ashley Ryan.”
It’s time I finally take action. Time Ashley is finally held accountable for what’s she’s done.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Aria
“You have to stop watching that shit,” Cleo says turning off the TV and standing in front of it so that I can’t turn it back on. “I don’t know why you keep torturing yourself. There’s nothing you can do about those pictures, or what the media says.”
“I know.” I shift a sleeping Rose on my shoulder, then put her in her playpen, running my fingers over her soft wisps of hair and sighing. “It’s just such a mess.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think it’s time you face the truth?”
I turn and look at her. “What truth?”
“That you’re in love with Tatum.”
I sigh and shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I know you’re trying to protect him, but who's protecting you?”
“I’m fine.”
She crosses her arms and lifts a brow at me.
“Okay, maybe not yet, but I will be. I’ve been through a lot worse.”
“I know.” Her eyes soften. “Which is why I hate that you’re having to deal with it all again. You deserve to be happy. And Tatum--”
“Hasn’t called or texted in a few days.” I try not to let the hurt come out in my voice. I’m the one who told him I needed space. The one who pushed him away. “He’s probably moving on. Which is what I need to do to.”
I just don’t know what that looks like. I’m not alone anymore. I have Rose to think about and my dance school. Plus, I still have to figure out a way to pay off the remaining debt Ashley incurred in my name.
And it doesn’t help that anytime I leave Cleo’s apartment; I can’t help but constantly look over my shoulder expecting paparazzi or thugs to jump out of the bushes.
“I just want a normal life,” I mumble, glancing down at my niece. “For both of us. Maybe I should move to Montana, or Oregon, somewhere remote where no one knows my face.”
“No matter where you go, someone will
always recognize you. You’re Aria Ryan.”
“Is it bad that I wish I weren’t? That I could be someone else.”
Cleo takes my hand and gives it a small squeeze. “I get it. But I kinda like Aria Ryan.” She grins up at me. “And I’d miss her a lot if she wasn’t around.”
“Thank you.” I hug her, knowing I’d never have gotten through these past couple weeks without her.
“You’re stronger than all this. You and Rose are going to be okay.” Her phone buzzes with a text, and she pulls back from the hug and glances down at the device. The smile that was there a moment before instantly disappears, her dark brows turning down in a deep V.
“What’s wrong?”
She glances up at me and shakes her head. “Don’t freak out, okay?”
“Don’t freak out about what?” I ask slowly, ice trickling down my neck, my fingers going numb with apprehension.
“It’s bad, but--”
“Just tell me.”
I see my own phone on the coffee table lighting up with messages and I start to reach for it, but Cleo beats me, grabbing it to her chest.
“Cleo--”
“You’re going to want to sit down for this.”
“Give me my phone. You’re scaring me. Is it Ashley? Is she...” Oh God, bile rises in my throat thinking the worst.
“No,” Cleo shakes her head. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just... a video was posted...”
I narrow my eyes at her, knowing whatever she is about to say is not going to be good. “What video?”
She winces before turning her phone toward me. I grab it from her hand when I see the blurred-out photo of a young girl, naked and exposed on a bed, the caption reading, Aria Ryan’s Scandalous Sex Tape.
I stumble back and when the back of my knees hit the sofa, I sit down hard. I scroll through the article, finding the link to the video that’s been uploaded onto YouTube and God knows where else.
“It’s... it’s not me,” I say, tears burning my eyes. An ache so intense forms in my chest that I swear I can’t breathe. Not just because of what this will do to my already tarnished reputation, but because of the memories it digs up.
The video isn’t of me. It’s Ashley. Before the tattoos, before the bleached hair, before the drugs made her eyes dark and dead. Before he stole our innocence.
“Fucking bastard!” Anger burns inside of me. I want to scream, to hit something. To...to ruin him. But my mother made sure that the man would never pay the price of what he did.
And now he’s tossing it in my face.
Hate replaces anger. A hate so strong I don’t know what to do with it.
“Who?” Cleo asks. “Who did this? If you know, you can sue the asshole. I’ll call my dad’s lawyer. Just tell me what you need, Aria.”
I look at my best friend, then glance over at the playpen and shake my head. “I don’t know.” I have no idea what to do. I just know that if I stay here right now, I’m going to lose my shit. “Can you watch Rose?”
“Of course. But--”
“I just need to... I need to go,” I say, already rushing to the door and slipping on a pair of running shoes.
Cleo is talking to me, and I can hear the concern in her voice as I rush out the front door.
I need to run. And I do.
Hard.
Fast.
I run until I’m winded. Until my muscles ache and my legs give out on me.
I run until I can’t see. Can’t feel.
I run until everything else but the pain in my body disappears.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tatum
Both Charlotte and Spencer stare at me, eyes wide as we sit in my dining room eating a meal I ordered in as I tell them everything that’s happened.
“Shit, man,” Spencer mutters when I’m done. “That’s rough.”
There are tears in Charlie’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Tatum.”
I take a sip of my beer and lean back in my chair trying not to let emotions choke me. But saying the words out loud, it hurts.
“I freaked out when Ashley told me that Rose was mine.” I blink and look out the window, overlooking the LA skyline. “But it was worse... so fucking much worse when I found out she isn’t. That she’s not mine. We’d become a family, you know?”
Both Charlie and Spencer frown at me as they exchange glances.
“I know you probably think that’s fucked up, but--”
“No.” Charlie gives me a small smile and reaches across the table to take my hand. “It’s not. This Aria, she seems a lot different than her sister.”
“She is. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Sweet, kind, funny, and even after everything she’s been through, she’s strong.”
“You love her,” Charlie says with a sigh.
“Yeah, I do. But this whole thing has messed with her head. And then after what Drew said to her, she doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m trying to give her space but it’s fucking hell not being with her. Not having her here...”
“I get that,” Spencer says glancing at his wife. And I know he does. I’d been jealous of the love the two of them have. More than jealous. And I did things I’m still ashamed of because I believed she was better with me than him.
But I see what I missed back then. Yeah, I loved Charlotte Hayes. Still, do. But it’s not the love that people write books about. Not the love that Spencer has for her. They’re connected in a way I never understood.
Until now.
Until Aria.
I rub my temple, my head throbbing again. The fucking headaches have gotten worse the last few days, which I sum up to stress.
“You have to fight for her,” Charlie says. “Give her space if she needs it but let her know that you’re not giving up.”
“I would if she’d talk to me,” I tell her the frustration clear in my voice. My cell buzzes and I glance down, my heart racing when I see Aria’s name on the screen. “I have to take this,” I tell them, pushing my chair back and leaving the table. “Aria?”
“I, uh, no. This is Cleo.” Her words stumble out and I can hear Rose crying in the background.
“What’s wrong? Why are you calling me from Aria’s phone?”
“Have you heard from her?”
“No. Not in a few days. Why?”
On the other end, Cleo lets out a shaky breath. “I take it you haven’t seen the video.”
“What video?” I glance over my shoulder at Charlie and Spencer who are watching me.
“There was an old sex tape that someone released.”
“Fuck.”
“It was Ashley, but Aria took it really hard. She left here hours ago. But she didn’t take anything with her. No wallet, no money, nothing. I’m worried about her.”
“Okay.” Adrenaline has me already taking action. “I’m coming over,”
“Tatum,” Cleo says, her voice soft. “There’s something else. I... I was looking at the video, and I think... I think it was taken around the time Ashley and Aria were in The Twins Next Door.”
It takes me a moment to understand what she’s saying. “They stopped filming that before they were sixteen.”
“I know.”
“Fuck.” Rage boils inside of me and I’m shaking when I end the call.
“What happened?” Charlie asks.
“I need to go,” I tell them.
“Is there anything we can do?” Spencer asks, standing.
“Actually, yeah.” He’s a big-time politician with a lot of pull and a lot of resources. “There’s a video of Aria. Actually, it’s her sister, but I need it taken down.”
“I’ll get on it,” Spencer says, and I know I can count on him.
Minutes later, I’m out the door and in my vehicle speeding towards Cleo’s. She answers when I knock, a crying Rose in her arms.
“Did she come back?” I ask, reaching for Rose and rocking her against my chest until she soothes.
“No. And it’s getting dark. If you want t
o stay here with Rose, I’ll go look for her.”
I shake my head, handing Rose back to her. “I’ll go.”
“Tatum,” Cleo says when I start to turn. “She’s a mess right now.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
“But she cares about you. She’s trying to protect you.”
“I’m not the one who needs protection.”
Cleo smiles then. “Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell her.”
I get in my vehicle and start driving through the hills. I stop people out walking their dogs and show them Aria’s photo but not one of them have seen her. It’s dark though, and there aren’t many people outside. The wide swath of city lights out past the highway makes my stomach roll. Aria could be anywhere. I call Cleo a few times, but she still hasn’t returned, and by the time the stars are out, I’m more than worried.
“I think I should call the police,” Cleo says.
I’d been thinking the same thing, but I know they won’t do anything.
“Wait,” I say, my headlights catching the silhouette of a woman sitting on the edge of the cliff at the edge of a forest. She’s mostly hidden behind rocks and trees but even from this distance, I know it’s her. “I found her,” I tell Cleo, pulling over.
“Thank God.”
I get out of the car, and I’m only a few feet away when Aria finally notices me. She jumps at first and in the moonlight, I see her eyes widen in fear.
“It’s okay. It’s just me.”
“Tatum? How... how did you find me?”
“Cleo called me. She’s worried.”
“I just need some time...” She shivers and rubs her arms, looking away.
I sit next to her, wanting to wrap my arms around her, pull her towards me.
“I guess you saw the video?”
“No.” I let out a heavy breath. “But Cleo told me about it. I have someone working to have it taken down.”
She glances over at me and gives a small nod. “Thank you. But it doesn’t matter. The damage is already done.”
“It was Ashley in the video, right?”
“Yeah.”
Game Day Baby Page 12
