He faltered on the word. How had he become this man, the one who could only see one woman?
As he made his way back towards the bar, her gaze swung round to meet his.
‘So, have you got a reply for me yet?’
‘I have.’ Her smile was secretive, and again he felt the stirring of hope. Mia wasn’t a tease, she was straightforward, so if she was going to give him an answer she knew he wouldn’t want, he was pretty certain she’d just come out with it.
Pretty certain, but not absolutely certain.
‘And?’ He could feel his pulse hammering.
‘I’ve decided to take Stan’s advice.’
‘Sorry?’ His step faltered. ‘You’re going to take dating advice from an overweight sixty-plus-year-old who hasn’t been out with anyone since he was divorced?’
‘How do you know he hasn’t?’
‘I’m a bartender, I listen when people tell me stuff.’ The evening felt as if it was unravelling, yet Mia was still looking at him, and still smiling that little smile.
‘Then you should listen now, because I’m only going to say this once.’ She slipped off the barstool and came to stand in front of him. As he inhaled her, felt her warm, sexy body rest against his, all his nerve endings began to fire. And that was before she leant forward, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered, ‘Take me home with you.’
Immediately all his blood rushed south, between his legs. ‘Fuck, yes.’ He reached for her, and in his haste to get that smiling mouth on his, he almost knocked her over. ‘Shit, sorry, I just…’ He groaned when her legs wrapped around his hips as he lifted her up. ‘God, I need to kiss you.’
At last his lips found hers and he let out a deep, guttural sound as he began to plunder the wet heat of her mouth, their tongues dancing. Around them there was nothing but dark and silence, yet inside him he felt like a volcano about to erupt. As he edged her onto the bar, as he pressed his aching groin closer to the core of her, he knew kissing was not going to be enough. ‘Let’s get out of here.’
Later he wouldn’t remember if he’d checked the lights were off in the kitchen, or if he’d set the alarm. All he would remember was the joy, the adrenalin rush as he grabbed Mia’s hand and ran, literally bloody ran, the short distance to his flat.
Chapter Twenty-Six
She was being rash. Taking all that sensible caution she’d displayed ever since she’d met Luke, and throwing it all into the wind.
Yet she’d never felt so good, so happy, so alive as she did right now, laughing with him as they tumbled into his flat.
They were going to have sex. His track record with women, her inability to pick the right men … she’d shove all those nasty, niggling doubts aside. Tonight was about pleasure.
His hand still clasping hers, Luke shut the door behind them and pulled her snug against him. ‘This advice of Stan’s.’ He kissed her lightly on the mouth, then set about leaving a trail of kisses along her jaw and down her throat, causing her to moan. How had she reached thirty and not realised her throat was an erogenous zone? ‘What was it exactly?’
‘Ummm.’ He wanted her to talk, to think, when he was kissing her there? As he reached the sensitive spot beneath her ear, she closed her eyes and let desire burn through her. But then his lips left hers and she blinked them back open. ‘Why did you stop?’
A sexy grin slid across his face. ‘Fuck, you’re gorgeous.’
‘Then keep kissing me. Here.’ She pointed to her neck, then slid her fingers up, along her chin, to her mouth. ‘Or here, or anywhere. Just flipping kiss me.’
His deep chuckle sent prickles across her skin. ‘I will, after you answer my question.’ Another feather-light kiss, this time on her nose. ‘What was Stan’s advice?’
‘Does it matter?’ She yearned for him … and yes, that was the first time she’d ever used the word. Never had she felt such a deep ache, a searing desire to rip off a man’s clothes and wrap herself around him, over him, under him. Have him push inside her.
Luke lifted her into his arms, just as he had in the bar, as if she was weightless. The strength of the man, the raw power. It was beyond sexy.
Yet as he sat them down on the sofa, her in his lap, buttocks pressed against his powerful thighs, she looked into his eyes and knew it wasn’t his body she was falling for. That was just an added bonus. It was the man inside she could no longer say no to.
‘I want to make sure we’re both on the same page,’ he said quietly as his arms tightened around her. ‘You know what I want. You and me, to date properly, not just as friends. I need to know that’s what you want, too. We don’t have to have sex, not if you’re not ready, but I want to be able to kiss you.’ His gaze found hers, so full of sensual heat she felt the throb of it between her legs. ‘I want to touch you in places friends can’t touch.’
‘Yes,’ she breathed, squeezing her thighs against the ache. ‘I want all of that. Plus sex.’
He laughed, the husky sound a rumble in his chest. ‘Is that what Stan told you to do, have sex?’
‘He said if I like you, I should go for it, or before I knew it I’d find I was grumpy and old like he was.’
Luke gave her a comical wide-eyed look. ‘Oh shit, are you going to turn into Stan?’
Laughing, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a brief, hard kiss. ‘Only if you don’t have sex with me.’
‘There’s zero chance of that happening.’ She felt his thighs tense, ready to lift them both up, but then he groaned as a furry ball jumped onto her lap. ‘Sod off, Pickles.’ Mia giggled and gave the rabbit’s ears a long, luxurious stroke which caused Luke to groan louder. ‘Christ, it’s killing me watching you do that.’
‘Yeah?’ Teasing him, teasing them both, she did it again, and arousal flooded through her as Luke hardened beneath her.
Swearing, he lifted them both up and carefully slid her down his body to the floor. ‘Wait here, don’t move, don’t go anywhere. Let me feed the monster.’ He gave her a look full of molten promise. ‘Then I’ll take care of you.’
She watched as he grabbed a handful of rabbit food and dropped it into Pickles’ bowl, then went to fill up her water bottle. When he crouched and gave the rabbit a final scratch between her ears, Mia’s heart melted that little bit more. Maybe he’d been careless with women over the years, yet all she could really judge him on was what she’d seen with her own eyes. And a man on the promise of hot sex who still made sure to give his rabbit fresh water and a tender stroke, was decent to the core.
‘Goodnight Pickles.’ Luke stood to his full height, eyes still on the rabbit. ‘I don’t want any scratching at the door, any squeaking. Behave yourself tonight and you get the biggest carrot I can find tomorrow.’
‘What about me?’ Mia asked. ‘If I behave, do I get a big carrot?’
‘Sure.’ He smirked. ‘Or I can find you something else big to enjoy.’
She let out a strangled laugh. ‘Oh God, I hope the sex is better than the innuendo.’
‘The sex,’ he said softly, eyes blazing, broad chest rippling beneath his shirt as he stalked towards her, ‘will be better than anything you’ve ever experienced.’ With that, he swept her into his arms. ‘It’s time we headed for the bedroom.’
He kicked the door closed behind them and laid her carefully on the bed, his eyes skimming up and down her body. ‘I need to see you,’ he said hoarsely. ‘Without clothes,’ he added with a small smile. ‘In case that wasn’t completely clear.’
She looked at him towering over her and felt the first twinge of nerves. She’d met some of the women he’d slept with and she’d noticed a type; long legs, toned body. ‘You first.’ Without a second of hesitation, and with none of the flashy moves she’d expected from him, he whisked off his polo shirt and proceeded to unbuckle his belt. ‘Wait, slow down.’
He peered up at her in confusion. ‘You want me to stop?’
‘No, God no. Just…’ She smiled. ‘I’m kind of weird when it comes to u
nwrapping presents. I don’t like to rip off the paper. I like to take it off slowly, savour it.’ Unconsciously she licked her lips. ‘Let me enjoy savouring you.’
He groaned. ‘God, Mia, if you keep looking at me like that, I won’t be able to do slow.’
Her eyes ran hungrily, greedily, over his naked chest; the sexy V dipping into the waist of his jeans, the ridges of his six-pack, the taut muscles of his pecs. When she came across his nipple piercing, she paused, remembering why he said he’d got it done.
But why didn’t matter. Tonight, she was the one doing the looking, the touching. Swallowing down the jitters, she scrambled onto her knees and beckoned him forward. ‘Come here. Let me unwrap you.’
He stepped towards her and when she reached for his belt, his powerful body trembled.
Her heart lurched, and past histories paled into insignificance. This, what they were about to do, felt bigger, more momentous, than anything she’d experienced to date.
Luke gritted his teeth against the flare of need coursing through him. For weeks, months, ever since the first day she’d come into his bar, he’d wanted this.
Yet the moment her gaze had fallen on his piercing, he’d known something wasn’t right. He’d tried to ignore it, as she was clearly doing, but it was no good. How could he make love to her, when she still had doubts about him?
‘Mia, stop.’ His voice sounded strangled, a clear reflection of the effort the words cost him.
Her beautiful blue eyes gazed up at him in confusion. ‘You don’t want this?’
‘I want this more than I want my next breath.’ He placed a hand on either side of her face and searched for the right words. ‘But I also want you to want it, wholeheartedly. Unreservedly.’
‘I do.’
‘Unreservedly, Mia,’ he repeated quietly. ‘Without doubts, without fear that you’re doing the wrong thing.’ He brushed a thumb across her cheek, fighting to keep his words even when calm was the last thing he felt. ‘A moment ago, you saw my piercing and hesitated.’
Her eyes avoided his. ‘I remembered why you’d had it done.’
‘Because I thought the girls would like it?’ He exhaled sharply. ‘Shit, Mia, you’re thinking about me with other women?’
She ducked her head, moving so she was out of his reach. ‘I did, briefly.’ Her eyes, when she finally met his gaze, brimmed with frustration. ‘Why are you doing this? Ruining the mood just when I’d psyched myself up?’
He swore under his breath. ‘You shouldn’t have to psyche yourself up to make love to me.’
‘I didn’t mean it like that.’ She shifted so her back was against the headboard, knees hugged to her, and his heart ached. She looked hurt, upset.
‘Christ, I’m sorry.’ He let out a humourless laugh. ‘I’m supposed to be the great Don Juan, yeah? But here I am, making a total and utter balls-up of this.’ Slipping his shirt back on, he climbed onto the bed next to her, wrapping his arms around her. She felt stiff, far removed from the woman he’d carried to the bed a few minutes ago.
‘It’s the first time a guy has said no when I was undoing his belt.’
Beneath the bitter words, he heard her vulnerability, and shame rolled through him. He’d not just hurt her, he’d made her doubt herself. ‘I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you.’ He tucked a hand under her chin, turning her face so her eyes met his. ‘But it’s more than that now. I’m falling for you, Mia. It scares the living daylights out of me, yet ever since you walked into my damn bar with green streaks in your hair to match my sign, and backchat that was more than a match for me, you caught my attention. Now you’re reeling me in.’
She snorted. ‘I’m a fisherman now?’
‘Yeah, and I’m well and truly hooked.’ He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, feeling a little calmer when he felt her relax against him. ‘But much as I might want to, I can’t delete my past.’
‘I know.’ She turned to look up at him. ‘I wouldn’t be here if I thought it was going to be an issue for me.’
He could leave it there. He’d asked the question, received the answer he wanted. Yet if he did, wouldn’t he be doing the very thing he was ashamed he might have done with other women over the years; selfishly seeing what he wanted to see? Had the women he’d slept with so readily really all been happy with casual? He recalled the conversation with Tanya when he’d ended things and knew he was deluding himself if he thought his actions had never hurt anyone. ‘A few minutes ago it was an issue though, wasn’t it?’
‘We’ve both got a past, both slept with other people.’ She bit into her bottom lip as she seemed to consider her next words. ‘I just can’t understand why the guy I think you are, the one who proposed to his pregnant girlfriend, could turn into a man who only wanted women for sex.’
The words stung, but then the truth often hurt. ‘I was eighteen when I asked Freya to marry me.’ He paused, feeling those long-forgotten emotions bubble to the surface again. ‘Do you know what it’s like not to be what the person you love, needs? Freya wanted me to change nappies and for occasional sex but not to be by her side. She didn’t want my love, not even my emotional support.’ His voice caught and he had to pause and take a breath before he could continue. ‘I was just the dad and the goodtime guy, so that’s what I became.’
‘How long were you together after Grace was born?’
‘It quickly petered out.’ He gave her a sad smile. ‘Turns out being rejected is hard to overlook. By the time Grace turned one, we had different lives, me working evenings at a bar, Freya a dedicated student. We only really talked when we handed our daughter over. I hated that, hated never being able to tuck Grace into bed. I missed her so fiercely, I had the tattoo done. My way of keeping her with me.’
Her eyes searched his. ‘And the piercing? Did you have that done at the same time?’
‘Yeah. The guy in the shop persuaded me it would make me some kind of bad-ass, irresistible to women.’ He laughed harshly. ‘It sounds so immature, so stupid now, but I wanted to prove to Freya that other women wanted me, even if she didn’t. After a while the flirting, the going back with a woman at the end of a shift, it became a way of life.’ He stared into Mia’s eyes, hoping she could see beyond the surface of him. ‘It isn’t who I am, only who I became. And I don’t want to be that person anymore.’ Mia’s expression softened and she did something unexpected. She kissed him. ‘Not complaining, not one little bit, but what was that for? Just, you know, so I can maybe get another one.’
Her eyes smiled back at him. ‘It was for the eighteen-year-old boy who had his heart broken, but still manned up and brought up his child with the woman who turned him down.’
Shit, he could feel the back of his eyes prick. ‘Thank you.’
‘Tell me about that time.’ She turned so she was facing him, and his heart gave a bump of delight when she entwined her legs with his, keeping the body contact. ‘You said you worked in a bar while Freya was at uni, and that Freya lived with her parents. Did you live with yours?’
‘Yeah, that would have been useful, but they chucked me out.’
She stared at him, clearly shocked. ‘Why?’
‘I got a girl pregnant. I was irresponsible.’ He shrugged, trying to ignore the pain that twisted through him whenever he remembered that time. ‘They never approved of me much anyway. Phil was the one who worked hard at school, didn’t get into trouble. I was the one they always thought wouldn’t amount to much, and I proved them right.’
‘Bollocks.’ He couldn’t resist a smile at the disgust in her voice. ‘You own a bar, Luke. You raised a daughter.’
Now wasn’t the time to remind her the bar was slipping out of his hands. ‘Grace is so smart, she practically raised herself.’ He smiled as he remembered back to when she was small. ‘I rented a room in this bloke’s flat, and he was into weights, so that’s how I got into them. I remember I used to strap her in this bouncer chair when she was a baby and she’d watch me, wriggling away like she was trying
to copy. As she got bigger I bought her some pretend dumb-bells and she’d do the lifts along with me. God, she was adorable. Still is, though she’s more likely to give me backchat now and tell me I’m being dumb. Back then, she looked at me like I was some sort of hero.’
‘You’re the dad who looked after her. The one who took her to the park, who entertained her, made her laugh, who worked at night to make sure she had whatever she needed.’ Mia smiled into his eyes. ‘You are kind of a hero.’
He wasn’t. He’d done so many things wrong, especially in those early days when he didn’t have a clue how to take care of a kid. Still, in that moment, Mia’s words spinning through his head, he felt better about himself than he could ever remember feeling. ‘So where does this leave us?’ he asked quietly. Then held his breath.
If she wanted to go back to her place, to cool things for a while, he could work with that. If she’d changed her mind and wanted out, though… The loss of Freya had been brutal, but she’d been a teenage sweetheart, his first love. Could he bounce back if he lost Mia? Because he was terrified the guy who’d spent a large part of his adult life going from woman to woman, had finally found one he never wanted to leave.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Mia’s mind was in a whirl. All her life she’d been getting men wrong. It was entirely possible she’d got Luke wrong, too. The tattoo, the piercing, the reason he’d got into doing weights. All things she’d thought were part of his playboy image, actually had deeper meanings. The tattoo to keep his daughter close, the piercing to help his self-esteem, the weights because it had been a way of keeping fit while looking after Grace. The women because he’d been hurting, and that was the way he’d tried to cope.
‘Mia?’
His voice brought her back to his question. So where does this leave us?
The expression on his face – the longing he wasn’t afraid to show her, overlaid with anxiety he was trying to mask – helped make her answer easy.
Mr Right Across the Street Page 21
