by Ciara Shayee
Giggling wildly, Matty nods and clings onto my arms. “Yes, but put me down, Uncle Kelly!”
“Yes, Sir.”
As I set Matty on the counter and start pulling ingredients from the cupboards, I make a vow that Mom isn’t the only person I’ll be apologizing to in the next couple of days.
I’m determined to be a man worthy of Piper’s trust, a man worthy of the boys’ trust. Before I lost Willow, I was that man. I can be him again. I just need to find him.
Twenty-one
Kellan
Shame blankets me as I step out of my car shortly before noon on Wednesday. After dropping my brother and his family at the airport, I didn’t hesitate or stall. I came straight back to the bay, cruising past my place to pull up outside a cozy little gray house that, oddly, feels like my second home.
It’s all because of the people who live there.
It’s a typical hot-as-Hades day, but I can’t blame the heat for the sweat gathering at the back of my neck. That’s all guilt. I haven’t been able to erase the look on Finley’s face from my mind since I walked away from him on Saturday.
I like to think I’m a good guy, but I’ve fucked up big time, and I intend to make amends.
I don’t usually feel bad for running from my demons. This time…it’s different. I don’t know why, but it is.
Glancing down the street at my house, I briefly mull over the idea of going home instead, but quickly dispel the notion. I need to do this. Besides anything else, tonight is Piper’s first shift at Burger Co. and I need it to go well. I want her to want to be there, so any awkwardness and discomfort needs to go.
My knuckles come down on the door in a triple tap. At the same time, I pick up the sound of a familiar beat. Leaning closer, I can’t help but smile despite the slight tremor of my hands.
Kung Fu Fighting.
Even my hard knock is never going to drown out the blaring music, so I debate my options for a moment before stepping off the porch and heading around the side of the house. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I was here helping unpack, but even just outside, it already has a more homey feel to it. Hand-painted flower pots—like the ones at Carson and Bethany’s—decorate the porch while a plaque reading ‘Fitzgerald’ in what has to be one of the boys’ writing adorns the back gate.
I hesitate before swinging it open, wondering if I’m doing the right thing, before going inside. Hopefully, Piper will be in the back yard and spot me before I can make anybody jump.
Although, upon turning the corner, I immediately realize I’m out of luck. Piper isn’t back here, but Arlo is.
Music booms from the speakers hanging out of the dining room windows. Across the yard, Max is sprawled happily in the shade of an apple tree, his little master doing what I can only assume is supposed to be some kind of Kung Fu or karate while belting out mostly correct lyrics to the song. In actual fact, he’s not that bad—just a little uncoordinated as he kicks his leg out and tries to spin on one foot.
As he lands on the grass, Arlo spots me. His face lights up in a toothy grin. “Kellan! What are you doin’ here? Did you see my fung ku?” He shakes his head. “I mean, Kung Fu! Did you see?”
“I did, buddy,” I chuckle, edging closer. My eyes flick toward the propped-open screen door. Where is she?
A cold, wet nose pressing against my knee scares the shit out of me before I can spot Piper. “Holy—Max!” Looking down, I find Max sitting in front of me, tongue lolling and tail slowly wagging. For such a big puppy, he sure can sneak around. “Shit, sorry, Arlo. I mean…ah, hell.”
Of course, that’s how Piper finds me—raking a hand through my hair while cursing a blue streak in front of her four-year-old.
With pursed lips and arms crossed over her chest—eyes on her face, Patterson—she leans in the doorway. “Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, Lo.”
Frowning and scratching his cheek, Arlo asks, “What cat?”
Unintentionally funny, Arlo’s retort diffuses some of my nerves.
Why was I worried? It’s just Arlo and Piper. And I guess Jaxson and Finley are around here somewhere.
Except…
There’s nothing ‘just’ about them. They’re important to me in a way I never expected.
“It’s a figure of speech, kiddo,” she finally sighs, shaking her head with a fond smile aimed at her kid. “Lunch is ready. Come inside and wash up, please.”
“’Kay.”
As he takes off inside, Max follows dutifully. Piper stares at me for a long moment. I’ve just about geared myself up to apologize and excuse myself when her lips twitch up into a smile. “You, too. You know where the washroom is. Lunch is on the table, so don’t dawdle.”
With that, she’s gone and I’m left in the middle of the yard with a slack jaw and warmth spreading through my body.
It takes a minute to organize my thoughts, so by the time I’ve stepped inside and washed my hands, Piper and the boys are sitting at the small, round dining table overlooking the back yard. Max has his usual spot at Arlo’s feet.
“Here, Kellan,” Arlo chimes. “You can sit by me. I saved you a spot.”
Ruffling his hair, I do as I’m told and take the free seat beside him. “Thanks, buddy.” Turning to Finley, I offer an apologetic smile. He cocks his head at me for a second and I’ve never been more nervous of a six-year-old than I am right now.
“D’you want to share my smoked cheese? Nobody else likes it ‘cept us.”
Relief rushes through me like a tsunami. Blowing out a long breath, my smile becomes more genuine as I nod. “I’d like that. Thanks.”
Piper hasn’t skimped on food, that’s for sure. A selection of cold cuts, cheeses, and salad takes up a good chunk of the table. A large pitcher of what looks like homemade lemonade sits in the center, a stack of plates and cutlery beside it.
“This looks…”
“Scrumdiddlyumptious!” Arlo finishes for me.
My eyebrows climb my forehead. “Scrumdiddly…”
“Umptious,” Finley finishes for me with a grin. “It’s a Nanny Jude word.”
Ah, makes sense.
Turning to his mom, Arlo reminds her that they’ve promised Jude a bonus call this week when they go to ‘the big park.’
“The big park?” I wonder.
“Lake Eola.”
Ah. “Carson and Bethany used to take you there all the time.”
Piper nods, motioning for me to tuck in to the mini feast spread across the table. “All the time. I want the boys to see it, too.” Eyeing me, she looks pensive. “You can come, if you want.”
“That’d be cool,” Jaxson says through puffy cheeks. Piper softly reminds him to chew and swallow before stuffing more food into his mouth.
While the boys are distracted by the food, and Piper is focused on them, I allow myself a moment to soak her in. With her hair twisted back in a knot matching Arlo’s, her cheeks rosy and her eyes bright as she catches me watching her, she’s the most stunning thing I’ve ever seen. Even in holey, paint-splattered shorts and a tee that looks like it’s seen better days, she’s beautiful. I’ve missed her more than I let myself believe.
“Here you go, Kellan,” Finley murmurs, pulling my attention away from his mom as he hands me the smoked cheese.
“Thanks, buddy.”
Listening to the boys chatter amongst themselves, only occasionally asking for participation from me and their mom, fills me with a sense of peace as unfamiliar as it is welcome. My chest heaves with a sigh as I admit to myself that it reminds me of meals at the table with Willow; their presence makes me nostalgic for my own daughter.
Piper’s fingers wrapping around mine tug me from my thoughts. Smiling, I give them a squeeze, grateful that she always seems to know when I need her.
I’m not off the hook, not by any means, but this…it’s a do-over I didn’t dare hope for.
A fresh start I’m determined not to waste.
“C’mon, Max!” Arlo yells, running up the driveway with Max on his leash at his side and the twins running behind them. “Nana and Papa are waiting!”
Chuckling, I wave Piper forward and follow her up the porch steps. Arlo doesn’t pause to knock or ask to be let in, throwing the door open and announcing his presence with a sing-songed “Honey, I’m home!”
My eyebrows jump. “Where did he learn that?”
Piper snorts and shakes her head, closing the door behind us. “Dad says it to Mom sometimes, I guess he got it from him.”
“My little loves, you’re here!” Bethany appears in the doorway, sliding her sunglasses into her hair and hitching up her skirt so she can crouch to hug the boys as they dive into her arms. Max lets out a squeaky bark and jumps into the middle of them, his tail wagging like crazy.
“Can we play in the pool? It’s so hot,” Jaxson asks with a huff, dramatically wiping his brow for good measure.
Bethany grins. “Of course you can, sweetheart. Shall we have some dinner first, do you think?”
The boys whine, but it’s only half-hearted, especially when Carson joins us carrying a platter of baby back ribs. “Well, well. Does this mean I have to share my ribs?” he teases, setting the food on the counter so that Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo can hug his legs. Ruffling their hair, he turns his attention to Piper and me. My pulse speeds up a little as he looks between us.
Please don’t ask any questions, Carson. I don’t think you’ll like the answers.
Obviously thinking quicker than I’m able, Piper pulls him into a hug and plants a kiss on his cheek. “Hi, Dad. Kellan and I thought it would be easier to carpool seeing as we’re working the same shift tonight.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” Carson murmurs, holding her to him and shooting me a grin. “Hey, KP. I hope you know what you’re in for, hiring this troublemaker.”
With a wry smile and a wink for Piper, I nod and bend to pat Max, who has apparently decided the zipper on the pocket of my cargo shorts is fair game as a teething toy. “I think I can handle her. We’ll give it a good go, at least.”
While Piper pretends to look outraged, I can see the mischief dancing in her steel gray eyes as she rolls them at me and wiggles free of her dad’s grip to round up the boys. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s all gang up on Piper, why don’t we? You three love me, right?”
Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo nod and offer her kisses and cuddles before darting off after Carson, who needs to tend his grill. “Take care of my girl, KP,” he warns, pointing at me. “I’m trusting you with her.”
If only he knew what he was saying.
After giving Bethany a hug, and reminding her that Max is a liability and needs watching almost 24-7, Piper follows me back out to the Jeep so we can drive to Burger Co. I can’t stifle my grin, glancing across at her in her jean shorts and Burger Co. tee every now and then. She finally laughs and twists in her seat to face me better.
“Okay, what are you grinning at?”
“Just you,” I admit readily, chuckling at her goofy smile. “Do you have any questions about tonight? Any concerns or anything?”
Frowning, she runs her hand through her hair before slipping a band from her wrist and twisting her locks back into a ponytail. My fingers itch against the steering wheel, wanting to take the place of her hands in her soft hair. “I don’t think so. I mean, I did okay the other day, didn’t I?”
“You were great. You handled everything like a pro,” I agree.
“Then I think I’m set.” In the corner of my eye, I see her smile turn mischievous. “I do have one question, boss.”
Stifling a groan, I studiously ignore the fact that my dick particularly likes the inflection in the way she says ‘boss’ and hum a questioning, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Will I get fired for harassment if I can’t keep my hands off you?”
Shaking my head a little too fast, I quickly feel my ears burning as she laughs at my resolute “No way.”
It does raise a question for me, though. One that really needs to ask before this, whatever it is, grows stronger.
“What are your thoughts on privacy?” I ask, a little hesitant to hear her answer. There aren’t any parking spots close to the restaurant, so she has a minute or two to think while I hunt down a spot big enough for the Jeep. When I finally kill the engine, she breathes a shaky sigh and purses her lips.
“I think we need to be careful. This,” she motions between us, “terrifies me. You’re you, and I’m just me—”
“There’s no ‘just’ about you, Piper,” I interject firmly, reaching over to squeeze her thigh. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’m terrified, too.”
She flushes, twisting her fingers around mine. “It feels weird to say it, but yeah, it does make me feel a little better that I’m not the only one nervous about where this is or isn’t heading. I think it’s safe to say I’m a little gun-shy with the whole men and relationships thing.”
“Same here.” Her eyes twinkle, and I realize my slip. “Shit. I mean, obviously not men and relationships.” Grumbling a curse, I rake a free hand through my hair and huff a chuckle. “You know exactly what I meant, short stuff, and I feel the same. I’m working through some stuff at the moment…”
I don’t think I need to expand on what that ‘stuff’ is. Her understanding nod and squeeze of her fingers speaks volumes.
“But I’ve never felt like this before, Piper, and I want you to know that.”
Staring down at our joined hands, I realize that I’m not exaggerating even a little. With Shannon—and I hate to compare the two because Piper is a hundred times the woman Shannon ever was or will be—it was always easy, but looking back, it was boring. I don’t feel that way with Piper.
She’s exciting, refreshing. Slowly but surely, she’s breathing life back into me.
Our situation is complicated, we’re complicated, but she’s worth it.
Nothing about ‘us’ will be easy. For one, she has three sons. Baggage that would have a lot of men—their own father included—running for the hills. Not me, though. I’m already falling hard for Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, and it took spending time with Matty to see that the avuncular connection I have with him and my goddaughters is nothing like the bonds I’ve been building with Piper’s boys. I’m not going to overstep and say I feel like their dad, but I don’t feel about them the same way I feel about Brayden and Ashley’s girls, or Matty.
Then there’s my own baggage. I’m a big boy, I can admit that I have plenty issues to deal with, most of which go back to losing my Willow and the aftermath of that, least of all Shannon and the revelation she threw at me when she tossed the divorce papers onto the coffee table the day after we buried our daughter.
Last, but certainly not least, is the biggest obstacle we’ll face.
“Carson and Bethany…”
Piper winces, dropping her gaze. “They’re not going to take it well, are they?”
“The truth? I don’t think so, no.” Stroking my thumb over her knuckles, I wait for her to look up before continuing. I want her to see the conviction in my eyes. “You’re worth whatever issues we’ll face if it comes to that, Piper. It might take time, but I believe they care more about you than they might care about our age gap and our past.”
“I think so, too,” she finally murmurs, chewing her lip.
Carefully tugging it free with my thumb, I offer her a small smile. “How about we worry about all this when we have to and just enjoy the peace we have now, huh?”
“That sounds good to me.” Brightening, she sucks in a breath and glances around the Jeep before leaning in for a quick but passionate kiss once she’s sure nobody’s looking. “C’mon, then. Let’s get to it. I don’t want my boss to punish me for being late on my first day.”
Grumbling under my breath even as I savor the taste of her lip balm on my lips, I join her on the sidewalk to walk to Burger Co. �
��He won’t punish you for being late, but he might spank you for being a tease.”
Tossing a smirk over her shoulder as she leads the way toward the restaurant, where she knows there are too many listening ears for me to respond, she sings, “Promises, promises, boss.”
Brat.
*
I didn’t fully appreciate how hard it would be having Piper here long-term until tonight.
While I whip the kitchen into shape, helping them catch up after a busy afternoon, I catch myself trying to get glimpses of her through the serving hatch.
When I move behind the bar, I spend as much time watching Piper effortlessly interacting with the customers as I spend making drinks and serving customers of my own.
And when she disappears down to the cellar to grab a bottle of champagne for a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary, I make an excuse to follow her and grin when Lily distractedly asks me to change the beer barrel while I’m down there, giving me an excuse to take a few more minutes.
Sneaking isn’t an option when you’re my size and the stairs creak, so she’s expecting me when I get to the bottom and offer her a smirk.
“Fancy seeing you here, handsome.”
Handsome.
It’s not the first time she’s called me that. I…actually, I like it. I’ve never been one for pet names, but coming from her, it doesn’t seem cheesy or patronizing.
“Fancy that,” I hum, sauntering into her space so she has to back up. Caging her in against the wall, I feel the deep breath she sucks in.
“You know, I should probably get back up to my tables,” she whispers, tipping her head to the side so I can trail my nose over her neck.
How does she still smell so good after two hours of running around up there?
“My boss is kind of a tyrant.”
“A tyrant, huh?” I smirk, pressing a soft, barely-there kiss against the skin below her ear, delighted with the shiver it elicits, the needy moan it pulls from her chest.
