Under The Willows (Jackson Bay #1)

by Ciara Shayee

  Touching my face, Finley pulls me from my memories. His little brows are puckered in a frown. “Are you sad so much ‘cause you miss your little girl?”

  My heart thumps hard. How does he…

  “I saw the picture in the living room,” he admits, his cheeks flushing. “I wasn’t snooping, I just needed the bathroom and Arlo was in the other one. Where is she?”

  I feel Piper’s hand on my shoulder before her quiet voice tells me she can take it from here, if I want. I nod, unsure I’d be able to speak right now even if I wanted to. I didn’t expect my emotions to bowl me over right now. Foolishly, I thought I could do this for Piper’s boys and not be debilitated by the memory of my girl’s first day of preschool. But I didn’t realize Finley knew about Willow. I didn’t even consider the fact that he, Jaxson, and Arlo have been in my house—the house that hasn’t changed a bit since the day I dropped Willow off at school for the last time and headed off to work, none the wiser about how drastically my life would change just hours later.

  “Kellan’s daughter Willow is in heaven, Finn.”

  Finley’s eyebrows lift a little, his eyes flashing to mine before returning to Piper. “Like Nanny Jude’s Craig?”

  Craig?

  “Yeah, kiddo. Like Craig.” To me, she quickly whispers, “Jude’s husband passed away when Jax and Finn were babies. She still talks about him.”

  Instead of the questions I expect from Piper’s inquisitive son, I find myself being wrapped in his arms. He pats my back like I’m sure Piper has patted his when he’s been upset, drawing a watery chuckle and a shaky smile from me. “I’m sorry Willow went to heaven, Easy. I bet you miss her.”

  “I do,” I croak, clearing my throat as I hold him to my chest. My eyes slide shut, the now-familiar apples and pears scent of his shampoo filling my lungs as I impulsively kiss his head. “Thank you, buddy. But you don’t have to be sorry. She…she was hurt, and now she’s in heaven so she can’t hurt anymore.”

  He nods against my shoulder. “Nanny Jude’s Craig was hurt, too. She says she’s happy he’s got peace now and he can eat all the sugar he wants without having to stick himself.”

  Piper laughs. “Craig had Type 1 diabetes but he loved his candied almonds a little too much.”

  “I bet Willow gets to eat all her favorite candy and stay up way past her bedtime now.” Pulling back, he offers me a tiny smile and uses the sleeve of the sweater tied around his waist to wipe my face. I’m sure his mom has done the same for him a hundred times. The sweet gesture makes my chest seize up.

  Chuckling despite the lump in my throat, I sniff and nod, realizing we have Jaxson’s and Arlo’s attention now. Pulling them all closer, I try not to crush them against me in a hug before kissing each of their heads and releasing them so Piper can get them to school on time.

  “I’m so grateful for you three, you know that?”

  “We’re grateful for you, too, Easy,” Arlo says with a silly smile, a streak of mischief infusing his dark eyes before he attempts to diffuse the tension—always the class clown, this kid. “You make us the best food and cool balloons and you tell better bedtime stories than Momma—” He snaps his mouth shut as his brothers nudge him with their elbows, all three boys waiting for Piper’s reaction.

  She purses her lips, but offers them a wink. “He does tell better bedtime stories, I’ll give him that.”

  Glancing at her watch, she reminds the boys that they’re on a schedule and still need to take first-day-of-school pictures.

  Once they’ve all taken turns having their pictures taken, I get Piper to jump in with them for a group photo that makes me grin. She couldn’t be smiling wider as she stands with her three boys around her.

  “All right, I’ll just put the beast back in the house, then we’ll go.” As Piper runs back inside to make sure Max is set while she takes the boys to school, I wait on the grass with Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo, peering down with a surprised huff of laughter when Arlo shoves his hand in my pocket and pulls out my cell.

  “Let’s get a picture of us.”

  So that’s how I find myself kneeling on Piper’s front lawn one sunny August morning, my cell clutched tight in Arlo’s hands and switched onto selfie mode for the first time ever. He, Jaxson, and Finley stand in front of me and cheer ‘Easy!’ as he presses the button a bunch of times, my grin stretched wide and my watery eyes crinkled in the corners.

  *

  “And Miss Mickey let us paint our hands! We made suns out of our handprints and then we got to go to recess and then we sang songs and—”

  Laughing, I rub my beard and tell Arlo to slow down. “Take a breath, bud.”

  He flashes me a silly grin, then sucks in a big breath. “There, I breathed.”

  Piper’s laugh rings in the background, so she’s obviously done bathing Max. She handed Arlo the phone when I called as she was wrestling him into the tub. “Is Max all clean now?”

  Arlo giggles and looks over his shoulder, asking if Max is ‘done being stinky.’ Piper laughs and tells him ‘yes,’ leaning over the back of the sofa so her beautiful face joins Arlo’s. “I am never letting him off the leash again. He had sh—uh, poop matted in his paw fur.”

  “Oh!” Arlo squeals. “I forgot to show you…” He aims the camera south of his face, showing me his tee. Today’s is black with a cartoon burger and the words ‘I’m a burger dude’ written around it. But of course, I knew that.

  “I saw it this morning, remember?” I chuckle.

  Laughing at himself, Arlo slaps his forehead. “Duh.” Getting comfy with the phone resting on his knees, he sticks around to chat for a bit longer before his yawns start coming more frequently than his words.

  “Give the phone to your momma and get to bed so you’re ready for another fun day at school tomorrow, buddy,” I laugh.

  “All right. Night, Easy.”

  “Night, buddy. Sweet dreams.”

  After handing the phone to Piper, Arlo quickly snatches it back and offers me a sleepy, bashful smile. “I forgot…love you.”

  Warmth spreads through me, a likely goofy expression on my face, as I realize that I’m being totally honest when I murmur, “Love you, too, bud.”

  Piper’s eyes are wet when she takes the phone from Arlo and promises she’ll be along to tuck him in once she’s said ‘bye’ to me. “I’ve cried way too many times today, Kellan. No fair.”

  There’s no hiding the rasp of emotion in my voice, so I don’t bother trying. I wish I could be sitting on the couch beside her to catch the tears tumbling over her cheeks, though. “That kid…”

  “Don’t blame him. You’re a big softie and you know it.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh, shaking my head. “It’s your fault. You and those boys are melting me. You’re gonna ruin my reputation as a big, tough guy.”

  Piper snorts. “Yeah, yeah. You keep telling yourself that, handsome.” Looking up suddenly, she tells me she’ll see me tomorrow at work; one of the boys is out of bed again. I keep my goodbye short and sweet and spend the rest of the night trying to figure out why I feel like there was something I should have said other than ‘goodnight.’

  *

  “Thanks, boss. See ya later, Piper!” Jones calls, waving the hand not carrying his envelope full of tips as he heads out.

  “Bye, Jones,” she murmurs, setting the last glass in its spot under the counter before flashing me a tired, but happy, smile.

  If it weren’t for Brayden choosing that moment to join us, I would kiss that smile right off her face. This morning, before coming into work, Piper visited the hair salon down the street. The long, pink-red mane of hair I had wrapped around my fingers as I kissed her breathless last night is now a shoulder-length chestnut bob. It frames her face and the deep brown shade makes the silver of her eyes seem even more striking than usual. It’s been driving me crazy all day. All I want to do is get my hands in there.

  “I’m fuckin’ beat.”

 
Brayden’s declaration makes both me and Piper laugh, but his grimace he slumps on a stool and scrubs his face with his hands has me frowning.

  “Is Ivy still not sleeping?” I guess, knowing I’ve hit the nail on the head when a long, loud yawn cuts him off before he can say a word.

  “Not for more than thirty minutes or so at a time.”

  “Ouch,” Piper hisses, scrunching her face up in sympathy. “I remember that stage with Lo. Jax and Finn were always pretty good sleepers, thank God, but Arlo…shit, that boy didn’t sleep through the night until he was almost three.”

  Snorting, I turn to grab my cell and wallet from the bar. “That’s nothin’. The first time Willow slept through the night was the day after her fifth birthday.” Silence follows my admission. Looking up, I cock my head at my friend’s slack jaw and the barely-there smile on Piper’s face. “What?”

  “Nothin’, nothin’,” Brayden mumbles, his lips kicking up on one side.

  It’s only twenty minutes later, when I pull up outside my house and switch off the engine, that I realize why Brayden seemed so shocked.

  I barely ever talk about Willow. Occasionally, Kendra forces me to, but that’s about it. It isn’t because I don’t want to, it’s just that I’ve always found it too hard. Throwing myself into the conversation earlier, talking about Willow’s hatred of sleep, felt natural. As easy as breathing, like any parent commiserating with another parent.

  For five seconds, I didn’t feel like I couldn’t or shouldn’t talk about my daughter just because she’s not here anymore. I felt like a guy whose daughter refused to fall asleep anywhere but on me or her mom for the first five years of her life.

  I felt like a dad.

  “Are you okay?”

  Piper’s hand landing on my thigh startles me from my thoughts. Blinking a few times, I turn my head and manage a faint smile. It doesn’t take much effort, to be fair. She’s stunning, even after a long day and an early morning with Finley, who fell out of his bed and crawled into hers shortly after four.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  The rosy tint that infuses her cheeks only makes her more irresistible. Thankfully, she’s willing to let me manhandle her into my house and up the stairs. For the first time in years, I don’t pause in the foyer to listen to the silence that waits for me. I’m too busy listening to Piper’s giggles and half-hearted protests as I hoist her over my shoulder because I can’t get her into bed quick enough. I’ve been patient all day. Now is the time for patience to go out the window and to get Piper out of her pants.

  Hesitating at the top of the stairs, I glance right at my bedroom door before turning left to head toward the guest bedroom. There, I peel Piper’s clothes off her delectable body and take great pleasure from the sounds she makes when I drop to my knees, my lips blazing a trail over her skin. The last item of her clothing to go is her panties. I grin as I glance up at her, slowly tugging them down. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?”

  Her cheeks flush crimson. “It’s laundry day. I meant to run home between dropping the boys at school and coming to work, but I ran out of time.”

  Snorting a chuckle, I press a lingering kiss at the crease of her thigh, my dick taking note of the breathy sigh it draws from her.

  Interesting.

  She’s already admitted that oral was something her ex expected, but didn’t give out. She’s derailed me from attempting it so far, but she doesn’t seem to be protesting now…

  Taking a chance, I gently grasp her hips and give her a light squeeze just as I duck my head slightly, my tongue finding the tight bundle of nerves between her legs. I can detect the faint scent of her now-familiar body wash, but her taste is all Piper.

  “Oh…” she cries out, flinching when my tongue sneaks out to flick her clit. I’m not going to lie, I enjoy a blowjob as much as the next guy, but there’s something about going down on a sexy woman that turns me on like nothing else.

  Piper’s fingers twist into my hair, her grip almost painful, but it just spurs me on. as she writhes and moans my name, I can feel my beard getting wet with her arousal, my dick straining against my briefs.

  When her legs start to shake and she whispers that she’s close, I pull away with regret and slip my arms under her legs, lifting her with my palms gripping her thighs. I grin at her yelp before cutting it off with a bruising kiss, half-expecting her to push me away. My lips are coated with the taste of her, but she groans and clings tighter to my shoulders, tugging me down over her once I’ve set her on the bed and shed my briefs.

  “I need you,” Piper breathes, her brows furrowed and the telltale flush of a fast-approaching orgasm painting her chest. Pausing only long enough to coat myself in her wetness, I slide myself home and bury my face in the crook of her neck as she chokes on a breath and pants that she’s coming after only a few thrusts.

  With the urgency deflated just a little, we make full use of our alone time and the king-size bed before showering together and falling asleep shortly after one, Piper draped over my chest with a sated smile on her lips as she stretches up to kiss my jaw.

  I sleep soundly, just like I always do when Piper is with me, until a piercing scream wakes me a few hours later.

  Twenty-four

  Piper

  With a soft, regretful sigh, I place a gentle kiss on Kellan’s cheek and try not to laugh at his snuffly snore as I quietly back out of the room, grabbing my shirt on the way out. Our clothes often end up in the most random places; I’m sure I saw his tee draped over the lamp in the corner.

  As I move down the stairs, there’s no escaping the live-in museum feel of the house. The pictures hanging on the walls are the ones that were here when I set off for England a decade ago. Switching on the flashlight on my cell, I can’t help but look at the smiling faces that line the walls.

  Most of the pictures are of Willow.

  I smile wistfully at her cake smash photoshoot, remembering being there to watch her smother herself in yellow frosting. They did a flamingo theme and there’s also a picture of Willow holding two plastic flamingos, one in each pudgy hand, while her mouth bulges with cake.

  She grows up before my eyes as I take each step down. There’s her first steps on the sand; her sitting on Kellan’s shoulders with a gummy smile at what looks like the Fourth of July parade if their red, white, and blue clothes are anything to go by; her wild blonde curls flying as she floats in a baby pool floatie…I can see a large pair of hands just in the edge of the frame. I know those hands.

  Willow beams in a ballerina dress in another snapshot, this time with a little girl that looks exactly like Ashley. Looking closer, I realize it must be Lucy, Brayden and Ashley’s eldest. Ashley was handing out invites to her thirteenth birthday party last week. She and Willow were just a few months apart in age; Willow would be turning thirteen next February.

  My smile widens when I get to her first day of preschool. She’s out on the front lawn under her balloon arch, a freckled smile on her face and a pink backpack in her hand.

  Then the photos stop.

  An empty frame waits for a photo that will never come.

  My heart aches and my stomach twists as I read the letters etched into the frame.

  Preschool Graduation Class of 2012.

  She should have graduated from the very school Arlo now attends, but she never got the chance.

  My cell vibrating in my hand serves as a reminder that I’m running late. If I don’t get going now, Mom will be outside my house with Max and the boys wondering where I am. Exhaling a shaky sigh, I hurry through to the kitchen to grab my keys and purse. Confident that I have everything, I spin to head out so I can make it home before mom and the boys.

  A tall silhouette cuts off my escape route, broad shoulders and an unfamiliar voice sending fear rocketing through me as my scream fills the kitchen.

  “Who are you and why are you in my brother’s house?”

  A thump overhead precedes thumping foot
steps on the stairs. I remember the light switch by the back door, flipping it on just as Kellan skids right into the intruder’s back.

  It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, but the white spots disappear just as Kellan’s terrified expression morphs into one of relief, his mouth stretching into a rueful, lopsided grin as he finishes tying his drawstring sweatpants and tosses the arm around the intruder’s shoulders.

  “For fuck’s sake, Sully. What are you doing here, sneaking around in the middle of the night?”

  Sully?

  Frowning, I narrow my eyes and scrutinize the face of Sully, finally relaxing when I realize…

  I recognize him.

  He’s grown up a lot, but that mop of jet-black hair and those icy blue eyes are familiar. His words replay in my mind, suddenly making sense.

  My brother’s house.

  “Sullivan Patterson, so help me God…” Tossing the first thing I can reach at him, which luckily for Sullivan happens to be a towel, I blow out a breath and palm my still-racing heart. “You scared the shit out of me!”

  Chuckling like the little shit I remember, even though he’s now easily six feet tall and almost as wide in the shoulders as Kellan, Sullivan snatches the towel from the air before crossing the room to pull me into a bear-hug, lifting my feet off the ground to spin me around.

  “Piper Fitzgerald got hot, huh? I didn’t recognize you for a sec.”

  Red-faced and dizzy, I shove him away and eye Kellan, who looks more amused than anything else. I wonder if he knew Sullivan was coming. “I was always hot, you little shit. And I see that you’re still a hooligan sneaking around in the dead of night.”

  Sullivan offers me the patented, lopsided Patterson grin. “Of course!”

  “What are you doing here, Sully?” Kellan finally asks, heading for the coffee machine because it’s pretty obvious there’ll be no more sleeping.

  Hopping up to sit on the counter, Sullivan grimaces. “Mom’s dating Jason again.”

  I have no idea who he’s talking about, but Kellan evidently does. He winces and hangs his head for a second before shooting Sullivan a commiserating look. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need. I’ll get the guest room set up for you.”