by Ciara Shayee
“I can’t deal with this right now.” Standing abruptly, he draws the attention of the people around us. The legs of his chair squeak as they scrape against the linoleum, his muttered curse garnering a few disapproving looks. “I want you to go home. I’ll call somebody else to come sit with Piper.”
“Carson,” I sigh, lifting myself to my feet. “That’s not necessary. I’m already here, I can—”
“If you don’t leave, I’ll have the nurses change the room to family only.”
With his parting words, he makes sure that I know I’m—at least temporarily—not included in that category. I wince as he turns and strides away, tugging at my hair because I know that could have gone better. I expected his anger, but I didn’t expect the betrayal that came with it.
After tossing our untouched drinks, I head out into the late evening sunshine and tip my head back to the sky, reaching for the cigarettes in my pocket. I’ve been trying to give up because I know Piper doesn’t allow it near the boys, but stress always has me reaching for the false calm smoking lends me.
When the first spiral of smoke drifts up into the air, my lungs full but my chest aching, I start walking toward home, praying Piper will make a full recovery and hoping Carson will gain some perspective overnight.
*
When I dial Bethany’s number the next morning, I half expect her to ignore it. I can’t imagine Carson keeping our conversation to himself, after all.
“Easy!”
My nervous frown turns upside down at the unexpected voice. “Jaxson! Good morning, buddy. How’re you today?”
“Good. Nana made us pancakes.” Whispering, he adds, “They’re not as good as yours, but they’re all right.”
Chuckling, I watch the waves roll up to the shore before dancing away again, the balmy morning breeze heavenly on my skin. “Don’t tell Nana that or you’ll make her sad.”
“Nah, I won’t.” I hear Carson’s muffled voice, my pulse speeding up slightly, before Jaxson giggles. “I’ve gotta go, Easy. Nana and Papa are taking us to see Momma at the hospital. She’s doin’ better so they said we can go hang out with her again. Are you coming?”
I wish I could.
“I don’t know, bud, I—”
“We’ll be there, Jax!” Sullivan yells right in my damn ear, shooting me a smirk when I give him a shove as he saunters past me before sinking into a chair at the table.
“’Kay, see you later. Bye!”
Jaxson is gone before I can make up an excuse for why I won’t be there today, which leaves me glaring at Sullivan. “What are you doing? I told you I can’t go today, not until Carson’s cooled off.”
Rolling his eyes, Sullivan shovels cereal into his mouth, little pieces of Lucky Charms flying out as he speaks. “Do you weally fink stayin’ away is gonna prove you luff her?”
“Chew, swallow, then talk, Sully,” I remind him only semi-patiently, frustration and worry having kept me up all night. Tiredness makes my limbs heavy, but I can’t deny that there’s merit to his words. “He told me to stay away.”
Sullivan shrugs. “So? I’m just sayin’, what better way to prove how serious you are than sitting your ass at that hospital until she orders you away? If it were me all gaga over his hottest daughter—” he snorts when I throw a half-deflated beach ball at him, “—I’d be sitting in that waiting room every day until Carson gets over his issues.”
I had hoped my friendship with Carson would negate all this, but the more I think about it, the more I think Sullivan could be right.
I’m going to prove that I love Piper even if it kills me—which it just might if Carson hasn’t cooled off after his fit yesterday.
Sullivan smirks, still working on his cereal.
“Are you coming with me?”
“Nah, I’ll hang out here a bit longer. Text me if Carson doesn’t kill you and I’ll come see the sprogs later.”
“All right.” Unconcerned with Sullivan’s plans, I snatch my keys off the counter and set off, hesitating before turning away from the road that leads to the hospital.
I have a few things I need to do first.
*
When I finally reach the window overlooking Piper’s room, a smile spreads across my face. The boys are all in there with her, Jude perched on the edge of the seat with Arlo on her lap and the twins on a chair on Piper’s other side. Her eyes are closed, but there’s a tiny smile on her face as Arlo appears to draw something on her arm with her fingertip.
“She’s doing better.”
“Holy—Bethany.”
Bethany smirks, tucking an arm around my waist and stretching up to press a kiss against my cheek. “I need to have a word with you. You just cost me fifty dollars.”
Frowning, I cock my head. “What? Fifty dollars for what?”
“You’re not so sly, you know,” she says conversationally, as if I’m not confused as fuck.
“Beth…you’ve lost me.”
“Jude, Little Grandma, Ashley, and I had a bet going.”
“A…bet.”
“Yep. We were all pretty sure there was someone lighting you up, but only one of us guessed right.”
My confused frown morphs into a grin, because, “Jude knew. Piper already told her. You were robbed, Beth.”
“Why, that scheming…” Bethany shakes her head with a light laugh, promising to get her money back.
As we reach the door to a small waiting area, Bethany pulls me inside to throw her arms around me. “I’m sorry Carson was an ass yesterday. He’s overwhelmed and worried, but that doesn’t give him a pass to be an asshole.”
“It’s fine, Bethany. I get it. It’s been a stressful couple of days and finding out about me and Piper didn’t help.”
“You don’t have to be nice about him, hon,” she tells me wryly. “Believe me, he knows he messed up. He’ll be apologizing when he gets here.” Her eyes suddenly fill with tears. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry,” she laughs, pulling a pack of Kleenex from her pocket. “I’m just happy for you both, they’re happy tears.”
After blowing her nose and drying her eyes, Bethany motions for me to sit with her. Holding one of my hands in both of hers, she beams. “I’ve watched you battle with your loneliness for the last few years, and I don’t suppose we’ve helped all that much—”
“You have.” I can’t not interrupt her. Squeezing her hands, I hope she can see how sincere I am. “You’ve all helped more than you know. I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am to all of you. My blood relatives might be far away, but you Fitzgeralds are just as much my family as they are.”
Tearful once more, Bethany laughs and apologizes for crying again. “I’m so glad you feel that way. Carson told me what he said yesterday, but I hope you know it was just his hot head talking. Your relationship with Piper aside, you’ll always be family, KP. This just makes it more official.”
Relieved, I exhale heavily. It’s no surprise to me that Carson is struggling with this, but Bethany is an ally I didn’t anticipate. “The age gap, my connection to your family…”
Bethany grins. “My daughter is as headstrong and intelligent as I always hoped she’d be. She spent far too long putting up with that drip of a sperm donor—”
I laugh at that. She’s so right.
“But I know she doesn’t regret it, because she wouldn’t have Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo if not for him. I think…” she pauses, eyeing me speculatively, before asking, “I think you can empathize with that?”
Slowly, I nod. I wish I hadn’t lost years of my life with Shannon, but without her, I’d never have had Willow—even just for those precious almost six-years. I can’t bring myself to regret a thing that gave me my daughter. “I do.”
Squeezing my hand, she continues. “I want her, and all my children, to be happy and healthy, but I also want them to know the same love that I have with Carson. She didn’t have it with Richard, but she could have it with you.”
H
er eyes shine as she fights a mischievous smirk. “You and Carson, you’re a lot alike, you know. He isn’t kidding when he says you’re like the brother he never had. You have the same drive, the same dogged determination and fierce intelligence. But you also have his vast capacity for love when you open yourself up to it. That is why I’m not worried about you and Piper. I see you with her and the boys, and I know they’ll never want for love or support with you around.”
My eyes burn as I pull her against my chest, sucking in a deep breath as she hugs me back with a light, surprised laugh. “Thank you, Beth,” I croak, mortified by my body’s reaction to her sweet words. When she pulls back to pat my cheeks, her own eyes are wet.
“No, thank you. I’ve seen how happy Piper and the boys have been these last few months and I know now that you’ve had a lot to do with that.”
“She still doesn’t know how I feel about her,” I admit quietly, still wondering, still terrified to see how she’ll take it. I was already worried, but with the accident comes a whole new slew of concerns.
“Have faith in her, KP. The way she looks at you…it’s obvious now that it’s not just how a friend looks at another friend. I don’t know how I missed it before.”
I offer her a rueful smile. “Because, like me, you weren’t looking.”
Approaching footsteps capture both of our attention. My palms get a little clammy when I look up and meet Carson’s guarded gaze. As he comes to a stop, his hands shoved in his pockets and his wife eyeing him with raised brows, he sighs.
Before he can launch into his apology, I stand and clasp his shoulder. “It’s all right, Cars. I get it. We’re good.”
Cocking an eyebrow, he reaches up to squeeze my arm, the smallest of smiles on his face. “If you promise not to hurt my daughter or my grandsons, I’ll promise not to slug you over the head and bury you in the dunes. It’s only because I know you and I know you’re a good guy, daughter stealing aside, that I haven’t done it already.”
Snorting, Bethany mutters, “Nice apology, Carson.”
“And I don’t want any of that,” waving a hand, he grimaces, “PDA—is that what the youngsters call it?—in front of me. I’m accepting, but I have limits. It’ll take a few for me to get used to this.”
As I chuckle and nod, he relaxes and pulls me into a hug complete with backslaps that are a little harder than usual, but I get their meaning. He’s just bringing his point home and I can appreciate that. “I promise. Those boys and their momma mean the world to me.”
His dark eyes probe mine for a moment before he finally dips his chin in a slight nod. “Then we have something in common.”
Stepping back to draw his wife under one arm, Carson offers me a small smile and something that means even more to me.
His acceptance.
*
With Carson’s change of heart, I’m finally able to go in and see Piper without the weight of our secret hanging over my head. She’s asleep when the door swings shut behind me, but just being close to her is enough for now.
Before sinking into the worn, cracked-leather seat beside her bed, I wind my fingers into the gaps between Piper’s and press a kiss to her forehead. “Hey, short stuff.”
The neck brace is gone now they’re confident there’s no damage to her spine, but the bruises are angry red and purple splashes against the honey of her skin, her wounds still sore but slowly healing.
Settling into the seat, I let my mind wander to all the things I’m neglecting by being here. None are important enough to pull me away from Piper’s side.
A light tap on the door eventually pulls me from my thoughts.
“Hey,” Kerstin says softly with her signature kind smile. “The doctor wants two-hourly checks.”
“Don’t let me get in your way.”
It’s a strangely familiar dance as I get out of the chair so Kerstin can access the machines to take down all the necessary information for Piper’s chart. We’ve done this before, only last time, it was my daughter in the bed.
“All right, I’m all done. I’ll get out of your way, Mr. Patterson,” she says a few minutes later.
Gazing out of the window at the buildings obscuring my view of the ocean, I try to find words. “You can call me ‘Kellan.’ I think we’re past the formalities at this point.”
I can almost hear the smile in her voice when she agrees. “I think you’re right.”
Before she can leave, I spin on the balls of my feet and quietly call her name. She cocks her head, pausing just inside the door. She’s barely changed in the six years since I met her. There are more grays in her dark hair and a few more wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but Kerstin still has the same kindness about her as she patiently waits for me to speak.
“Thank you. I never…I never thanked you for everything you did for me, for Willow.” Willow’s name comes out in a whisper, but I can see the pain that slides into her eyes and weights her shoulders.
“Good morning, sweet girl,” Kerstin sings, the same way she does every morning, as I huff a laugh through my nose and get out of the chair I slept in last night. She shoots me a disapproving frown. “Did you sleep there again?”
“It’s closer,” I offer unrepentantly, stretching my sore muscles as she gently adjusts Willow, fluffing her pillows and straightening her blanket.
She’s always so gentle, so tender.
“Thanking me isn’t necessary, Mr.—Kellan. Taking care of people is my job. I’m only sorry that…”
She trails off, but I hear her unsaid words anyway.
That we couldn’t save her.
“Me, too. But I’m grateful that she had you watching out for her. It means a lot.” Glancing down at Piper as her hands twitch on the bed, her eyes fluttering like she might be about to wake up, I breathe a quiet sigh. “I never thought I’d be here again, but I’m glad you’re here to look after Piper, and that I got a chance to thank you.”
Tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear, she slips the clipboard with Piper’s chart back onto the end of the bed. “Well, you’re welcome. It’s my pleasure. I’m off for the next two weeks, but if you’re not here when I get back, and I really hope you won’t be though I mean that in the nicest way possible, take care of yourself. I’ve never met anybody who deserves happiness as much as you do.”
Of course, the first time Piper sees me after her accident, my ears are flaming red and I’m uncomfortable as shit, tugging at my hair as Kerstin laughs at me and lets herself out of the room.
Glancing down at Piper, I do a double-take and choke on a breath that sounds like her name, my heart slamming against my ribs.
Her eyes are open, a single tear tumbling over her cheek as she smacks her dry lips. Looking around, I spot the cup of water with the tiny sponge on a stick Bethany was using to wet her lips yesterday. Rounding the bed to grab it, I gently press the damn sponge against her mouth, careful to avoid the still-healing cut on her lower lip, and let her suck a little of the water from it. I smile when she closes her eyes and hums.
“Better, huh?”
Opening her eyes again, Piper wriggles her hand until I get the idea and head back around to the chair, twisting our fingers together as my ass hits the cracked leather. Suddenly overcome with emotion, I croak, “You scared the shit outta me, short stuff.”
Narrowing her eyes, Piper licks her lips and tests out her vocal chords. “I’m s-sorry.”
Her voice is raspy and soft. Leaning a little closer, I press a lingering kiss against her forehead, breathing her in and listening to the quiet beep of her heart monitor telling me she’s still here.
“Boys?”
“They’re getting ice cream with your mom and dad.” I grin faintly, running the pad of my thumb over her cheek. “They hate the hospital but they love having ice cream on tap.”
“I bet,” she laughs, sending herself into a coughing fit.
“Shit.” Grabbing the water again, I help her dri
nk a few sips once she’s caught her breath, a touch of disappointment slipping through my bloodstream when it becomes clear that just these few moments have drained her energy. Her eyes flutter closed, but the soft “stay” she whispers keeps me in the chair.
As if there’s anywhere I’d rather be.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Piper,” I murmur, lifting her hand to my lips and watching as she succumbs to sleep.
*
Over the next couple of days, Piper gradually spends more time awake and less time sleeping. The neurologists spend a lot of time coming in and out of her room trying to ascertain how much, if any, damage was caused by her head slamming into the frame of her car. So far, she’s doing great. She’s a little slow on the uptake at times and she’s not quite herself, but she’s getting there.
Baby steps.
We also learn the cause of the accident. The other driver, a nineteen-year-old kid, comes by on crutches with a guilty expression on his face and a bouquet of flowers half-squished under his arm. He was texting a friend, he admits, telling us he was running late meeting some of his buddies. He got his cell out to text them and lost concentration. Apologizing, he only avoids my fist meeting his bruised face because Piper is squeezing the crap out of my hand.
With grace I can only admire, she silently eyes him for a moment, finally breathing a shaky sigh and calmly—but firmly—thanking him for his apology before telling him to get the hell out of her room.
The police also pay her a visit to get her recount of the accident. They insist on speaking to the boys even though they can’t offer much information because they weren’t paying all that much attention. The insurance company will still need to be dealt with, and at some point, Piper is going to need a new car, but it’s all non-essential right now.
And with that all dealt with, Piper is free to rest and recover.
It takes a couple of days of thinly veiled comments and sly smiles from her sisters for Piper to figure out that we’re not a secret anymore.
