by Wendi Zwaduk
Tanner ran his fingers through the downy strands of her hair. He’d build the house wherever her heart desired. His eyelids drifted shut. “Babe, I’ll build you that house and we’ll live the happily-ever-after you deserve. I’ll marry you, Macy.”
“Uh-huh.” She stilled within his arms. Her breath fluttered over his chest.
Tanner fought off sleep long enough to murmur, “I love you, Macy.” When he drifted off, he basked in dreams of his life with her—the life he’d always wanted.
Chapter Seven
Macy cracked her eyes open. Still in the same hotel room. She froze for a moment. Still with Tanner. Day old whiskers dusted his neck and chin, giving him a rugged, outdoorsy look. Did he look like this every morning?
Bits of the earlier conversation filtered into her mind. He wanted to build her white farmhouse—with the swing. He wanted a life with her, to marry her. A large part of her heart yearned to stay with him. A remnant of insecurity threatened her happy feelings. He said he wanted to be with her, but hearts changed all the time. Happily-ever-afters only seemed to work in her books. Not in real life. What made him any different?
A song played in the pile of discarded clothing on the floor. Not a ringtone of hers. She rose up on one elbow and poked Tanner’s chest. “Does your phone always play One Helluva Ride when it rings?”
Tanner sighed and tugged her closer to him. His fingers splayed over her ass. “It does. Why?”
“You’re being paged.”
“Ignore it.” He nuzzled her breast, drawing her nipple into his mouth. “I’ve got better things to worry about.” As soon as the music stopped, it started back up again. Tanner groaned and released her breast. “Damn it.”
He sat up and fumbled on the floor for his phone. “Shit.” Tanner scrubbed a hand over his face. “Faith.”
Ice wrapped around Macy’s heart. So much for another round of cuddling or bondage before Kealie came by to get her ready for the reunion banquet. “She calls a lot?”
“Only when it suits her. It pisses me off.” Tanner scratched the back of his head with his long fingers. He stood and paced the room, buck naked. His brows knotted as he spoke into his phone. “Faith, that doesn’t matter.”
Not wanting to hear another word, Macy slipped out of bed and streaked into the bathroom. Tears threatened at the corners of her eyes. No. I won’t let my emotions run away with me. Most men didn’t get calls from ex-girlfriends unless the woman wanted money or to make trouble. In Faith’s case, either could apply.
She rinsed her toothbrush under the water and added the tartar-control paste. While she brushed, she tamped down her overactive imagination. Tomorrow, she’d fly to New York, sign her contract extension, and go on her book tour alone.
A sickening feeling niggled at her brain. Alone wouldn’t work forever. Not now that Tanner had invaded and conquered her fortifications.
Macy spat the foam into the sink and stared at her dishevelled reflection. Her hair hung in tangles around her face. The remnants of her makeup smeared under her eyes. She sucked in her cheeks and examined her body. No matter how much she held her breath, the slight paunch of her belly remained visible. She cursed her love of pasta and chocolate. A moment on the lips sure as hell meant a lifetime on the hips.
When she turned to examine her ass, Tanner crossed his arms in the doorway. “You’re gorgeous.”
“Damn it,” she screamed and grabbed the door to slam it shut. With a broad hand, he pinned the barrier in place.
“Macy, you’re beautiful just the way God made you.” He inched towards her, still naked as the day he came into the world. “It’s not every day I let a sexy woman bind my hands and take advantage of me. You’re special, and I meant it when I said I wanted forever with you.”
“Me?” She willed her heart rate to drop back into the normal range.
“You.” He smoothed both hands into her hair and drew her into his arms. “There are so many things I want to tell you.”
She rubbed her cheek on his chest, admiring the smooth play of muscles. “Like what?”
“Faith wants to get back together.”
Macy’s breath lodged in her throat. That was a bombshell she hadn’t seen coming. Her blood ran cold. “And you said?” I fucked Macy Shibley. I’ve found my missing piece and have no use for you. She snorted. She didn’t have the luck for that to happen.
“You can’t patch up eleven years of regret with five minutes of conversation and tears.” His voice, though low, was strong and sure. “Which is why I don’t want to lie to you. I’m not a man to keep secrets about my love life, and knowing Faith, she’d find a way to irritate the hell out of you until she got the dirt on us.”
“I see.” Maybe her luck had changed. Even so, why were they chatting in front of the bathroom mirror?
“I don’t think you do understand.”
She ducked under his arm and scurried to the main room. “I’m not comfortable having this conversation in the nude.” She grabbed a T-shirt from her suitcase and yanked it over her head.
“You have a beautiful body. I’d rather see you bare all the time.” Tanner rummaged through his pile of clothing on the floor. “You aren’t you married. Why?” He slid his jeans over his hips—sans boxer shorts. She fought the urge to drool.
“Once again, you change the conversation on a dime.” She fisted the hem of her shirt to keep from reaching for him. “No, I’m not married, but you’d know that if you saw my website.” No one had ever asked, and anyway relationships cramped her secluded style. “I don’t even have a cat, and I like cats.”
“You can have as many kitties as you’d like.” He strode across the room and swept her into his arms. “Macy, you flow through my veins.” He tipped her chin to gaze into her eyes. “I want you to live with me in the house of your dreams, like we talked about last night, with kitties, dogs…whatever you want.”
All her dreams, her deepest desires, glowed in his eyes. Still, too much remained unclear. “What about Faith?”
“She’s my ex and nothing more.”
Macy wriggled from his arms and shoved her hands into her hair. “Tanner, things are moving pretty damn fast. I’m not a relationship girl—”
“So? You said that last night, and I still don’t believe it.”
“Just because you say sweet lines and turn me on like no other man, doesn’t mean we have enough to start a life together.” Her breath caught in her throat. Fear paralysed her. “You don’t know me.”
“That’s why I want you to live with me. To show you we can do whatever we want. I’ll run CI while you write all those sexy stories in your head and use me for research.” He cocked his head. “I know you well enough to know you’re the woman for me.”
“Tanner.” She didn’t know whether to be happy or throw up. To give in to her innermost feelings or walk away.
“I love you, Macy.”
The air rushed out of her lungs. He’d used the L word—again. Last night hadn’t been a misunderstanding. Her stomach churned. “You can’t. It’s not possible.” I want it to be true.
“You’re scared to admit it, but I think you love me, too.” Inch by inch, he crept towards her. The gaze in his eyes softened, pinning her to the spot. “When I saw you last night, it was like all the pieces of my life clicked into place and I saw my future.”
“Are you sure you don’t write romance?” It was all she could think to say to derail the lusty, loving words coming from his mouth.
“Huh?”
“That’s more beautiful than anything I’ve ever written.” And damned dangerous if it’s true.
“Does that mean you’ll give me a chance? I’ve dreamt of this moment for so long.”
“I’m no good for you. I can’t stick around.” Feelings of inadequacy and failure invaded her senses. With Will, she’d devoted too much time to her writing and his jealousy had torn the relationship apart. Other men had wanted her fame for themselves. Some had just wanted money. What would be the
case with Tanner?
“You are very good for me—supple, sexy and addictive.” Tanner cupped her cheek in one hand, enveloping her in his sheer size. His scent bombarded her.
“You’ve changed in so many ways. I want to fall into your arms and never let go, but I’ve got a life. I’m supposed to be in New York Monday morning to sign the contracts for my latest book and to start the publicity tour for Kendall.” She yearned to crawl into his safe embrace, to lose herself in his kiss. But she couldn’t.
“Then do it, sweetheart. Take all the time you like. I’ll wait on you.” He rested his forehead on hers, rubbing his nose along the bridge of her nose. “I love you.”
“Don’t talk that way.” She toyed with the whorl of hair between his pecs and blinked back tears. “You think you love me, but when you spend time alone with me, you’ll realise I’m not woman enough for you.”
“Is that what Will did?” Tension laced his voice. “The bastard couldn’t handle it? Or did he want money?”
“What?” She wasn’t sure if she’d spoken the question aloud or in her mind.
“Is he the reason you’re afraid? Because he wanted the spotlight and got pissed when you had it? He should’ve kept his God damned hands off you if he wasn’t man enough to—” Tanner threw his hands in the air. “The bastard makes me so angry. I’d never hurt you, but he’s like this giant fucking gorilla in the room. You want to bolt, to keep yourself isolated. I can’t win.”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. Will had verbally assaulted her at every turn, saying she didn’t deserve to be semi-famous when he was a more important and exciting person. Deep in her heart, she knew Tanner wasn’t Will. But words of love weren’t enough to prove he cared for her as more than a tumble in the sheets. “I think you need to leave.”
“Macy?” Her name came out in a whisper. The vehemence in his eyes dimmed.
“You need to go.” Even though I want you to stay.
“Will I see you tonight? I want to escort you to the banquet and have one more night with you.”
“I don’t know.” She placed both hands on his chest. His heartbeat throbbed against her palm. “I might not show up. I made my point yesterday afternoon and I’d like to end on a high note.”
“Don’t run away from your heart, sweet girl.”
Macy had opened her mouth to turn him down, when Kealie burst into the room. “You’d think those two couldn’t breathe without me.” Her dark eyes widened and both hands covered her mouth. Crimson infused her cheeks. “Oh! I’ll be right back.”
Tanner snatched his shirt from the floor and threw it on. “No, you stay here. I’ll leave.” He shoved his feet into his boots and grabbed his keys. “Think about what I said, Macy. I meant every word. Always will.”
Once Tanner had closed the hotel room door, Macy’s heart shredded into pieces. The warmth that had flooded her bones only hours before chilled to ice. Emptiness echoed in her soul.
What have I done?
His words settled in her mind. Don’t run away from your heart… She couldn’t run away from what wasn’t there. He held her heart in his grasp.
Solitude sucked ogre balls.
Kealie kicked his boxers with the toe of her boot and pleaded, “Tell me you fucked him within an inch of his life and you’re gonna run off to Paris, Vegas or somewhere sexy to get married.”
“I asked him to leave.” I pushed away the first and only man I’ve ever loved.
“Well, shit.”
Tanner stopped in the hallway by the elevator and gritted his teeth. Thrown out like the trash! He stared at his blurred reflection in the chrome elevator doors. Pain burned through his heart. She had every right to give him the heave-ho. When she’d offered her heart in the past, he’d stomped on it with football cleats. Now the tables had turned. Or had they?
He leant back against the panelled wall. No. Something had swirled in her eyes when she’d turned him down. He felt it deep in his soul. She wanted to do as he said, to fall into him and succumb to the strength of his arms. But what held her back? Will Tuttle, jackass extraordinaire? The man needed his clock cleaned.
When the elevator pinged, Tanner stepped through the open doors. He stared down at his dishevelled attire. His jeans rode low on his hips. Shit. He’d forgotten his belt and his boxers somewhere on her floor. Should he retrieve them? Nah. She needed time to think.
On the ground level, Tanner strode across the foyer and into the parking lot. His brain remained on a constant thread—Macy. Maybe the rumours were true. If Will had indeed told her she was unlovable because of her size and her delicious curves, he deserved a lobotomy.
Tanner stopped at the trunk of his BMW. Macy outshone other women without trying. Her inner beauty made the rest of her sparkle, and he’d spent years trying to forget her. He unlocked the vehicle and tossed his wallet onto the passenger seat.
Something his father said flicked into his mind. When a man wants something, he’ll work like hell until he gets it. Never give up. Tanner nodded. He’d give her time. If it took the rest of his life, he’d be patient and let her come to him. He’d waited fifteen years to see her. He’d found out what could’ve been and wanted more—lots more. What was a few more days? Every moment since she’d first stood in his embrace, he’d fallen more and more in love with her. His future was reflected in her eyes.
Determination flowed through his veins. If he gave her another taste of his love, maybe the promise of his devotion would be enough to turn her thoughts of what might have been into something that felt right.
Tonight.
He dipped his head as he passed the main entrance of the hotel. “No matter how long it takes, Macy, I’m waiting for you. I love you, sweetheart.” He pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards home. “Just realise, soon, that you love me, too.”
Chapter Eight
Two and half hours after Tanner left, Kealie stood behind Macy wielding a hot curling iron. Macy blew a stray curl from her eyes and stared at her sullen reflection in the mirror. More tears threatened behind her lashes. Even if she got on her knees and crawled, no man, including Tanner, would take her back after she had coldly asked him to go. The thrill of being the queen of solitude was gone. Being with him, held tight in his arms, wasn’t a dream—it was fate. Macy brushed her hand over her cheeks and focussed on Kealie’s jabbering.
“Did you know my graduating class named me a home-wrecker?” Kealie pursed her crimson lips and aimed the hot iron at their reflections. “For the record, I destroyed one living room. That’s it. I can’t help it that guys seem to follow wherever I go.”
“You’re beautiful, that’s why they flock to you.” Macy sagged down in the chair. Just when she’d thought she’d be able to give her heart to the one man she loved, the past had bitten her in the ass. Women like Kealie, women with confidence and inner light, drew men like flies. Maybe Macy was meant to be an isolated wallflower after all.
“I’m nothing more than a good time, and you’re crying—again. You’re going to wreck your makeup.” Kealie put the styling tool on the counter and threw her arms around Macy’s shoulders. “Tell the divine Miss Kealie all your problems—she’ll make it all better. And if she can’t, she’ll find a man to take your breath away. Berto and Remi mentioned a threesome. I’d say take them up on it.”
“They would.” She sighed. “Have you ever seen your future and, even though you wanted to grab it, you let it slip away?”
“Tanner?”
“Does it show?”
“Cellophane.” Kealie’s chin dug into Macy’s shoulder. “You wear your heart on your sleeve, whether you believe it or not.”
“He said he loved me.” Macy forced herself to remain calm. “He wanted me to move in with him, but—”
“Sshh.” Kealie clamped her hand over Macy’s mouth. “You’re a beautiful woman. He sees how he screwed up in the past. Granted, he might be moving at warp speed, but at least he’s being honest.” She grabbed a comb and teased a section
of hair at the crown of Macy’s head. “I still don’t see why you tossed him out on his ass. Didn’t you say he was the marrying type?”
“He wants a forever I can’t give him.” God, even she hated the whiny tone in her voice.
“Damn it!” Kealie threw the comb across the room. It landed with a thump by the bathroom door.
Macy flinched. Kealie wasn’t one to show anger often. When she did, hell really had no fury like a pissed-off Kealie.
“Will Tuttle screwed you up one side and down the other because of his own insecurity, Macy. I hate him.” Kealie leaned against the counter under the mirror and folded her arms. “You used to be so innocent and trusting until he twisted it all apart with his bare hands and jack-ass standards no one could meet.” She slapped her thighs then took her place behind Macy. “But I’m just as angry with you.”
“Angry with me?” Macy replayed the conversation with Kealie. The blame for the broken relationship sat squarely in Will’s lap. But she hadn’t been totally without fault. She’d stayed in the relationship past the point of redemption. Still, she wanted to know what Kealie had to say. “What’d I do?”
“You let Will hold importance. He’s a bastard who left you and good riddance.” Kealie’s shoulders slumped. “You have to let go. There’s a guy out there who may very well love you. Don’t let Will win.”
“I burned my bridges with Tanner.” Macy’s heart squeezed within her chest. “He won’t come near me if he has any sense.”
“Oh, no?” The smile returned to Kealie’s lips. She crooked her brow and resumed styling Macy’s hair. “Then we’ll give him a reason to crawl to you.”
“How?”
“Did you not invite the divine Miss Kealie here to costume you?” Macy nodded. “Then shut up and let me make some magic.” Kealie winked at their reflections. “No man can resist a woman in a little black dress.”
