I didn’t realize until this moment just how much Belial’s restraint means to me.
During my rant, some of the frustration faded from Logan’s face, replaced with regret. “Aspen, I’m not trying to pressure you.” He reaches out.
I slap his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
His eyes widen.
For a moment, I feel bad. Logan and I had a good thing going once. He taught me so much as my mentor. I regret that either of us let feelings enter the picture. It’s ruined everything.
“I don’t care if you aren’t trying to pressure me, Logan. You are pressuring me. And it’s not fair. I don’t have any control over who my parents were or my link to Hermona. It’s not fair of you to hold any of that against me.”
“But it’s not fair for you to dismiss our connection, either,” he counters. Though, he sounds less cross than he did before. “Our Shadowmarks mean something, Aspen, whether or not you want to believe it.”
“Logan,” I sigh. “Come on. What are the chances of me having two soulmates? I hardly believe in having one.”
“Oh, my!” A new voice floats into the room, sounding positively gleeful. “What a delicious conversation to walk in on.”
Both Logan and I turn.
Victor Bloodbane stands at the threshold of the library, smiling like the cat who ate the canary, but it’s not his expression which holds me hostage.
Victor is flanked by none other than Belial, and the original demon looks simultaneously wounded and furious.
Oh, great. My shoulders slump as I process this latest catastrophe. Just… great.
Chapter Thirteen
For a moment, no one speaks.
Victor continues to grin like a drama-loving maniac, while Belial remains rigid and silent. The original demon meets my gaze, but I can’t get a read on what he’s thinking. He definitely heard my last statement, but did he overhear the beginning of our conversation?
If so, then he knows why I sounded so exasperated when telling Logan I hardly believed in having one soulmate.
But if Belial didn’t hear anything else… well… that would explain the flicker of hurt I saw in his expression before he schooled his features.
I shift my feet, glancing between Victor and Belial, unsure what to do next.
Thankfully, Victor takes it upon himself to end the silence permeating the library. Though, he doesn’t do it in the classiest way.
“Oh, dear. Have we interrupted a lover’s quarrel?” The vampire fakes a scandalous gasp. “Should we leave you to it?”
“No!” I exclaim.
“Yes,” Logan says at the same time.
I shoot my ex-mentor a glare.
He meets my glare, unbothered.
Belial, miraculously, remains silent.
“No, it’s fine, Victor. Stay. Logan was just leaving.” I cross my fingers that Logan will go along with the dismissal, but I’m disappointed.
“You’ve avoided me for days, Aspen,” he states. “The least you could do is finish out this conversation.”
“It is finished,” I reply. “I’ve said all I need to say.”
“Well, I haven’t.”
“Ooooh.” Victor murmurs.
Seriously? All he needs is a bucket of popcorn to completely enjoy this show.
I cross my arms. “Logan. Enough. We have nothing left to talk about.”
“I disagree.”
Ugh!
There is no reasoning with him.
I let my arms fall to my side, too tired to argue anymore. “You know what? Fine. I’ll leave.” I don’t have to subject myself to this situation any longer.
I turn to walk around the opposite end of the table, away from where Logan stands.
I don’t take one step before Logan’s hand catches my wrist. “Aspen, just wait. We need to—”
I don’t hear the rest of what Logan wants to say.
A purple orb crashes into his chest, and he is thrown against a tall shelf, filled with leather-backed volumes.
I gasp, and immediately rush to Logan’s side.
But Belial beats me there.
The original demon pushes me back, then grabs Logan by his singed shirt and hauls him up. “Didn’t Aspen tell you not to touch her.”
Huh. So he heard more of our conversation that I thought.
Logan coughs as he struggles to get air back into lungs, but that doesn’t stop him from giving Belial his most menacing glower. “Let…” Cough. “Me… go.”
Belial obliges. He tosses Logan away, then widens his stance, and stares down at my ex-mentor. I only see Belial’s back, but I can imagine the menace in his expression.
Logan staggers to remain upright. He’s still hunched over, catching his breath, when he chokes out, “This doesn’t… concern you.”
“If it concerns Aspen, it concerns me,” Belial responds, his voice thin as ice.
My head swings to the doorway, seeking Victor’s assistance, but the coven leader is nowhere to be seen.
Cowardly vampire.
“You don’t own her,” Logan coughs, sounding a bit better. “She can talk to me if she wants.”
“True, but I believe she expressed she was done talking to you.”
Logan straightens. “Only because you’ve brainwashed her.”
Belial gives an unamused laugh. “Have I now? How interesting.”
Logan’s eyes flash. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You’ve convinced Aspen you are her soul’s mate.”
“I fail to see how that is brainwashing.”
I’ll give Belial credit, he’s way more composed than I expect him to be in this situation. It’s no secret he despises Logan—for more reasons than one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he used this opportunity to release all of the pent-up aggression he feels for my ex-mentor.
But, alas, he doesn’t.
Belial is calm, if not tense. His back muscles flex underneath his tight, black shirt.
“You are a demon,” Logan bites back. “You have no soul. I don’t care what the history books say, there’s no way you were Hermona’s true soulmate, and there’s no way you are Aspen’s either.”
“And yet,” Belial opens his arms wide. “I am.”
I can see the rage building in Logan from over Belial’s shoulder. He practically vibrates with it.
Once again, I’m so thrown by Logan’s behavior. I never would’ve expected this from him. Never.
He’s a fool to antagonize Belial. It’s a miracle Belial hasn’t done more than blast him with one jolt of power.
Just like with Lex and Logan, I need to put an end to this confrontation. And I need to do it now.
“All right, that’s enough.” I put my hand on Belial’s shoulder and pull. The original demon allows me to guide him back. Now, I’m between him and Logan. And not for the first time.
I lift my chin and tell Logan, “Look, I know you’re worried about me. I get it, and I appreciate it. But there are bigger issues in the world than whether or not you are my soulmate. There just are.”
I mean, I can’t even believe I have to say it. The world on the brink of demonic takeover and complete destruction certainly trumps my messed-up, non-existent love life.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Logan. At least, not right now. Can we just agree to hit pause? Once the threat with Azazel is dealt with, we can discuss it again.” I think it’s a fair and manageable compromise.
Unfortunately, it does little to alleviate the rage within my ex-mentor.
Logan’s eyes are piercing when he mutters, “No. It will be too late.”
My jaw drops. I’m prepared to ask what he means, but Logan surprises me by turning on his heel and stomping out of the room.
I watch his exit, both relieved and nervous. It doesn’t take a genius to know Logan has not finished saying his piece. We didn’t resolve anything.
My shoulders fall forward, and I rub my tired eyes.
Belial’s deep voice bru
shes my ear. “Are you hurt?”
I sigh. “Physically? No. Mentally? I’m beat.”
“You agreed to meet with him.” I hear the question in Belial’s statement.
I lift my head. “I did, but I had no idea it would turn into that.” I gesture toward the space Logan previously stood.
“Hm.” Belial hums, then asks, “What is this business about him being your soulmate?”
I groan. I didn’t plan to speak to anyone about Logan’s outlandish theory, especially not Belial. But considering he most likely overheard the majority of the conversation anyway, I don’t see a point in avoiding it.
I take a steadying breath and swiftly share Logan’s belief surrounding our shared Shadowmark. I tell him about the picture of the old text and Logan’s theory about why the information isn’t common knowledge in the Guardian community.
When I finish, I avert my gaze, focusing on the towering bookshelf Logan was thrown into. It’s a miracle none of the books fell. I wonder if the shelf is bolted to the wall.
Belial is quiet. I assume he’s simply giving me time to gather myself, but then he utters two words which land a crushing blow. “He’s right.”
My eyes snap back to him. “What?”
Belial stands with his hands tucked in his pockets. I’ve realized it’s his go-to gesture when he feels uncertain. “The Hendricks boy is right… to a certain extent,” he adds the last part after he sees panic rise in my eyes.
“Are you serious right now?” I shake my head. “You can’t be serious.” There is absolutely no way my life can take any more complications. Absolutely no way.
I am over my crush on Logan. It’s done. There’s nothing left between us other than working together to take down Azazel. My life is already messy. I can’t handle anything else. I refuse.
But the universe doesn’t give two shits about what I want.
“Matching Shadowmarks used to be a sign of power compatibility,” Belial explains, knocking my world off its axis. “Ancient Guardians would regularly search for their mark’s match and work alongside that Guardian to combat demons. I’ve seen a few pairs in my day, and they are quite formidable when united.”
Breath lodges in my lungs, pressure building, as panic continues to rise. “But that isn’t the same thing as soulmates. Right?”
It’s not lost on me how strange it is to seek reassurance about soulmates from the man who identifies as mine. I’ve spent so many weeks avoiding this conversation, but now I find I need his support. I need a sense of normalcy—or as much normalcy as one can get when speaking about divinely matched souls.
Unfortunately, Belial’s conflicted gaze gives zero reassurance. He doesn’t respond, and that is answer enough.
My legs grow weak. I can no longer stand. I stumble back to the chair I was sitting in and collapse onto the plush material as my thoughts and emotions spin out of control.
This cannot be happening.
I think back to my early fascination with Logan. I’d attributed it to a childhood crush on the man who rescued me from a demon and from living on the streets. But what if it was more than that?
What if this is all real, and Logan and I have some link between us because of our Shadowmarks?
What am I supposed to do about it?
“So,” I swallow, struggling to wrap my head around what Belial is saying, running through all the implications of this latest revelation. “It’s true? Logan is my match.”
I can’t even begin to describe just how wrong that statement feels. It’s so strange. It’s like my heart rebels against the notion, although my mind acknowledges it as the truth.
“He’s your soul’s match,” Belial clarifies, his violet irises swimming with emotion. “But so am I.”
“How?” I whisper, shaking my head, more confused than ever. “How is that possible?” I’m not an expert on soulmates or anything, but I think the concept is kind of pointless if a person has more than one.
Belial moves and sits in the chair beside me. He rotates so he faces me. “I have a theory.”
I wait for him to continue. He doesn’t.
“Well,” I prompt, sounding a little agitated. “Let’s hear it.”
Belial leans forward and rests his forearms on his knees. “I believe my soul was created as your soul’s mate.”
I already know this.
I nod along, trying not to seem impatient.
“But, after I sold my soul to Lucifer, I imagine God came up with an alternative plan.”
I gasp, my mind already following the path his thoughts have travelled.
Belial continues, staring down at his clenched fists, “I never considered the possibility before today, but it makes sense. God doesn’t do anything without purpose. He created my soul to match yours, but then I sold it to his enemy. He created Guardians to give humanity a chance to survive demons, and He needed them to be as powerful as possible. Creating soulmates with complementary power would help ensure his people’s success.”
Wow.
Just… wow.
“Did you ever have a Shadowmark?” I ask, even though I think I know the answer.
“No,” Belial confirms. “Hermona and her family were the first humans to have them. I suspect God came up with the idea to use them to reveal a person’s soulmate long after I came into the picture.”
I lean back in the chair and stare at my lap.
The more I think about it, the more I believe Belial’s explanation. And, honestly, it makes sense. God considered Belial a lost cause the moment he became an original demon. That meant there was an unmatched Guardian soul roaming the world. God fixed the problem by giving my soul another match.
The only problem? Belial is not lost. Not in the way I would expect an original demon to be. If anything, his connection to Hermona is what saved him.
Belial may have sold his soul to the devil, but he’s still in possession of it. I can feel it every time he is near me. The realization gives me the strength to raise my chin.
I look at Belial’s bowed head. His dark hair shines in the room’s light. “This changes nothing.”
Belial’s eyes snap up. “Pardon?”
“This changes nothing,” I repeat. This time, with more confidence. “You are my ally, Belial.” You are my soul’s mate.
I leave the last part unsaid.
While I still haven’t decided, exactly, what I am going to do about our connection, I’ve already admitted there is no sense in denying it. The link between me and Belial is real, and it’s been the reason for my survival on more than one occasion. I’m not going to reject it. Not now. Not because of Logan’s revelation.
I will figure out what to do about that later.
Belial tries to keep a blank expression, but I see relief and awe whirling in his gaze. “Are you sure, Aspen?”
I don’t hesitate. “Yes. I’m sure.”
His lips break into a smile. His obvious happiness nearly takes my breath away.
“Very well, little mountain. You’re the boss.”
Chapter Fourteen
“You look like death.” Cortney’s greeting follows seconds after she flings open my door and traipses into my bedroom.
I don’t bother turning my head her direction. I continue staring at the canopy hanging over the bed, just like I’d been doing the past hour. “Gee, Cortney. Thanks for the update.”
My best friend jumps onto the mattress and leans over me, blocking my view. “How long are you planning on hiding out in here all alone?”
“Forever.” I grab the pillow from behind my head and press it over my face.
Cortney quickly pulls the pillow away, tossing it to the other side of the room.
“Hey!” I object, pushing myself upright.
She hastily sits back to avoid a blow to the head. “You’re being dramatic. Your situation is not this bad.”
I gape at her.
It’s been two days since Logan approached me about the meaning behind our matching Shadowm
arks. At first, I’d planned to keep the information between him, me, and Belial.
And I guess Victor.
I’d almost forgetting about the nosy coven leader.
But my plans to let the conversation lie were derailed when Cortney sought me out that same evening. I’d been so worked up, trying to figure out how this latest news would impact, not just me, but all Guardians.
Should the truth behind matching Shadowmarks be shared with our society?
Would anyone care?
No one can deny the need for highly skilled and powerful Guardians to protect humanity. Our numbers are already too small to handle all existing demon threats. But would this news truly make a difference? Would the elite Guardian families actually put the needs of our society and the world above their own ambition?
The skeptic in me doubts it.
I’d been so consumed by my thoughts, I wasn’t able to hide them from Cortney when she came to check on me that night.
So, now, she knows the truth.
And she knows all of it.
Initially, she showed me nothing but sympathy. Cortney, of all people, knows the depth of my initial crush on Logan. She knows how much it hurt when I first felt the sting of his betrayal, and she knows how uncomfortable it is for me to face him after everything that’s happened.
But it seems Cortney’s sympathy has a shelf-life of forty-eight hours.
I lean against the headboard and continue to stare at my friend in disbelief. “You’re joking, right? This whole thing is a nightmare.”
“It’s not,” she counters. “Is it going to be awkward when you run into Logan? Yes. But it was already awkward even before you knew he was God’s runner-up as your soul’s boyfriend. Honestly, the situation between you is the same as it was before.”
I cringe at her description of Logan—however apt it may be.
“This is not the same.”
“To everyone else in this safe house, it is. Honestly, people are more curious why you’ve been hiding out the past two days. You should hear what Lauren and Fiona are saying.”
I can’t resist asking, “What are they saying?”
Demon War: Shadowguard Academy Book 4 Page 9
