‘Do…do you ever see any of the people who were at Corunna? Colonel and Mrs McTernon, perhaps, or Mrs Craike…’
He looked up. ‘The colonel and his wife are in France now. As for Mrs Craike, her husband died on the retreat to Corunna and she came back to England. Within a year she had married Sir Alfred Ansell.’
‘Married! But I thought—’ Felicity broke off, flushing.
‘Did you think she would marry Adam?’ His lip curled. ‘Adam was a diversion for her, but he was never rich enough to keep her interest. It amused her to beguile naïve young men.’
And you, Nathan, did she beguile you? The question hovered on Felicity’s tongue, but she could not bring herself to voice it.
‘Elliston was devastated when he heard,’ Nathan continued. ‘I think he could have borne it better if he thought she had married for love, but Ansell was old enough to be her grandfather—it was plain she took him for his money.’ His next words answered her unspoken thought. ‘I don’t doubt you would have seen her in town, but Sir Alfred died last winter and she is still in mourning.’
Felicity looked down at her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. ‘You seem to have followed her career quite closely,’ she observed.
‘One cannot avoid hearing the gossip.’ He waved an impatient hand. ‘Enough of this. I came here to talk about you.’
‘A—about me?’
‘Yes. I meant to ask you yesterday, but we were—er—distracted. I want to know all that happened to you after you left Corunna.’
‘I—I bought my passage home.’
‘And lived like a duchess until the money ran out.’
Felicity did not reply.
‘I would not have left you with a penny if I had known how you would spend it!’ growled Nathan.
Felicity’s head went up.
‘We had known each other but a se’ennight,’ she challenged him. ‘Would you have me believe you were heart-broken when you discovered I was gone?’
‘Of course not. Inconvenienced, merely.’
She jumped to her feet and walked over to the window, staring out into the near-darkness. ‘If I was such an…an inconvenience, I am surprised you want me back.’
Nathan had wondered about that himself. He believed it was because he could not resist a challenge, but there was something else. When he had danced with Felicity at the masquerade she had gazed at him as if he had been the only man in the room. It was an image that disturbed his dreams, but it would not do to own it. For now he needed to provide a logical answer. He said roughly, ‘You are my wife, madam. We may have been married by an army chaplain but it is the vows that are important. Your words, Felicity, remember?’
‘Yes, I remember—and I remember you promising to forsake all others.’
His brows snapped together. ‘What the devil do you mean by that?’
‘I too have heard gossip, my lord! You have not been monk-like these past few years.’
With a smothered oath he crossed the room in two strides and caught her by the shoulders, roughly turning her towards him. ‘Dear heaven, you try my patience! By running away you gave me no opportunity to be faithful to you!’
‘You blame me, then, for leaving you?’
‘Yes, I do! I blame you very much for not waiting for me, for not giving our marriage a chance!’
Felicity stared at him, shaken by the violence of his outburst. Was it possible that she had been mistaken? Had she been wrong to leave him? If she had stayed, if she had not been weakened by that rough sea crossing…
Abruptly Nathan released her and turned away, running a hand through his hair. He did not mean to hurt her, but every time they met she roused such a passion in him!
‘Perhaps,’ she said haltingly, ‘perhaps I should not have left Corunna. Perhaps it would have been better to wait, to talk to you.’
‘Much better,’ he said grimly.
She was hunting for her handkerchief. He held out his own and she took it, silently. His arms ached to hold her, but even as he reached out she stepped away from him. He said quietly, ‘Let us leave the past. We can deal together better than this, Felicity. We need to get to know one another all over again.’
She blew her nose defiantly. ‘I do not think we ever really knew each other.’
He risked stepping a little closer. ‘Then we have that pleasure to come.’
One of her curls had worked itself loose. He reached out a hand to tuck it gently behind her ear, his fingers trailing lightly down her neck. She did not bat his hand away: that must be a good sign. He moved nearer.
‘Do not be afraid of me, Fee.’
She finished wiping her eyes. ‘I’m not,’ she muttered, her restless fingers tugging at the handkerchief.
Another step brought him within kissing distance. He put his fingers under her chin. ‘Then will you cry friends with me?’
His fingers, gentle but insistent, tilted her face up.
Felicity raised her eyes to his face and found him gazing down at her with such a tender look that it made her feel very weak. She was obliged to put her hands against his chest to steady herself.
‘F-friends?’
Felicity could hardly hear his words over the pounding of her heart; it seemed suddenly to be trying to leap out of her breast.
‘Yes. Very—good—friends.’
He smiled, sealing her fate. He bent his head, gently touching her lips with his own. It was the lightest kiss, as soft as a feather, and Felicity found herself stretching up on tiptoe to respond and prolong the pleasurable sensations he was arousing within her. Nathan took her in his arms, cradling not crushing, while his thorough, unhurried kiss went on and on, dispelling all the anger and the tension until there was nothing left but the warm, heady sensation of floating away—flying or drowning, she was not sure which.
After some time—but all too soon for Felicity—the kiss ended. Nathan kept his arms around her, and she still clung to his jacket, afraid that if she let go she would collapse.
‘Oh, how can I think when you kiss me like that?’
He gave a low laugh. ‘What is there to think about?’
She rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady thud of his heart.
‘I need to think about what to do—how to behave properly.’
He kissed the top of her head. ‘I consider you are behaving very properly.’
‘No, no. I should not be alone with you,’ she murmured, but she knew her words lacked conviction.
‘Sir James is a diplomat; his servants are well known for their discretion, although I have no doubt it will cost me at least a half-crown when I leave here.’
He led her again to the sofa, but this time they sat together, Nathan keeping a protective arm about her. He reached for her left hand, looking down at her bare fingers.
‘I do have the rings you gave me,’ she told him shyly. ‘They are safely hidden in my room.’
‘And will you wear them again for me?’
‘Of course. I will look them out tonight, my lord.’ She looked at his hands. ‘You were wont to wear two rings, my lord.’
‘What? Oh, yes.’ He lifted his right hand and stared for a moment at the little finger where he had worn the small gold band with its pattern of rose thorns. He said curtly, ‘That one was lost, a long time ago.’
The faraway look in his eye and the faint sigh that accompanied his words pricked at the bubble of happiness inside Felicity, but she stifled her doubts. It was time to forget the past.
She went to rise, but he pulled her back.
‘No, stay and talk to me.’
‘Talk of what, sir?’
‘Anything. The weather, the theatre—I do not have to be back at the ridotto for another hour.’
With a laugh she settled back against him. ‘I am afraid I cannot converse to order, my lord.’
Nevertheless, she found that, once they began, the conversation flowed very easily. She was surprised and a little disappointed when the clock in
the hall chimed the hour.
Nathan raised his head, listening.
‘I must go,’ he said. ‘The Tsar and his sister are engaged to go on to Lady Collingwood’s at midnight and I must be there to escort them.’ He pulled Felicity to her feet. ‘Soon we shall be done with all this pretence. I shall carry you off to Hampshire.’ He kissed her and stood for a moment, looking down at her. The look in his eyes sent a pleasurable shiver through Felicity; even her toes curled when he said softly, ‘It will be our honeymoon.’
Chapter Ten
Lady Souden’s ball was the last event the royal visitors would attend before the Emperor left London at the end of his visit. Nathan was escorting the royal party to Dover and when he returned he would carry Felicity off to Rosthorne Hall. Lydia confessed herself grateful that Felicity would be there to help her through the ordeal.
‘Lydia, how can you call your ball an ordeal?’ laughed Felicity. ‘You love entertaining, you know you do!’
‘True, but I have never entertained a grand duchess before, nor had so many crowned heads of Europe in my house!’
‘It will not be necessary to introduce me to them all, will it?’ asked Felicity, nervously.
‘No, no, not unless you wish it,’ murmured Lydia, soothingly.
‘I do not wish it, most decidedly!’
‘Then you may remain in the background, but pray do not go too far away from me; James must attend to his guests so I shall feel happier knowing you are there to support me if I need you.’
Something in Lydia’s tone made Felicity look closely at her.
‘My love, are you unwell?’
‘I am perfectly well, thank you.’ Lydia laid her hands on her stomach. ‘But I am increasing, and James is concerned—I think he has passed some of his anxiety on to me.’
Felicity promised to look after her and went up to her room to change into her green satin gown in readiness for the evening. Lady Souden sent her own maid to dress Felicity’s hair and to fix around her neck a collar of fine pearls that Sir James and Lydia had given her—‘Look upon this as a wedding gift,’ Lydia had said when she had presented it to her that morning. ‘For soon you will begin your new life as Countess Rosthorne.’
Lydia’s words came back to Felicity as she sat before her mirror while the maid’s nimble fingers finished their work on her hair. She trembled a little, but with pleasure at the thought of Nathan carrying her away.
‘No need to be nervous, miss,’ said Janet, misinterpreting her shiver. ‘You look as fine as fivepence, if you’ll forgive me saying so.’
Felicity stared at her reflection. There was an alarming amount of skin exposed by the low neckline of her gown.
‘Is it not a little…revealing?’ she murmured when Lydia came to collect her.
‘Not at all. It shows off your lovely shoulders and that beautiful, slim neck of yours. You look quite beautiful!’
‘I think it would be better if I were to throw a kerchief about my shoulders…’
‘No time, love.’ Lydia caught her hand. ‘We must go down now to welcome our guests!’
An hour later the rooms were so crowded Felicity knew the ball would be hailed a success. The arrangements had been very thorough, and Sir James’s staff so well drilled that there was nothing for her to do except move from room to room, keeping a discreet watch upon Lydia. Society had grown accustomed to the sight of Lady Souden’s companion, but she was aware of the surprised looks from several of the ladies, as well as admiring glances from the gentlemen. Her chin went up. Let them look and speculate on her improved appearance; in a few days everyone would know the truth. She watched the royal party arrive and was entertained by the jostling that ensued as the guests tried to make sure they were noticed by the Grand Duchess of Oldenburg or the Emperor. She was surprised and enormously gratified when she saw Nathan making his way over to her.
‘I hope I can persuade you to dance with me this evening, Miss Brown,’ he said, a smile glinting in his eyes.
‘I think not, sir.’ Laughter trembled in her voice. ‘If I dance with you, my lord, how can I say nay to any other gentleman who asks me?’
The mockery in his eyes deepened. ‘Easily. You inform them that you have a jealous lover.’ He leaned closer. ‘Or tell them you have a husband.’
She brought up her fan and fluttered it nervously. ‘My lord, have a care,’ she begged him, looking about her.
He laughed. ‘There is no one to hear us. But I suppose I must agree with you; if you dance with me and refuse everyone else it might rouse suspicions. Very well, dance with anyone you wish.’
‘If I do that, sir,’ she responded, greatly daring, ‘it will only be with you.’
His brows went up, but there was no mistaking the triumphant look in his eyes. He bowed over her hand. ‘I am engaged for the first dance with the grand duchess, but after that, I shall seek you out, Miss Brown.’
Smiling, Felicity watched him walk away. She did not expect to dance much, and certainly not the first dance, but she hoped that Sir James might ask her to stand up with him, and perhaps one or two of the other gentlemen of her acquaintance. She saw Gerald Appleby striding purposefully towards her until his approach was halted by Lady Charlotte, who took his arm and led him away in the opposite direction. Felicity’s smile grew—if only Lady Charlotte knew that she was wasting her efforts.
‘So, madam, are you free to dance with me?’
Felicity turned to find Nathan at her side.
‘Is that how you invited the grand duchess to stand up with you?’
‘No, ma’am, she asked me.’ He held out his arm. ‘Well?’
‘Despite your rag-manners, Lord Rosthorne, I will dance with you.’
With a laugh he swept her off to join the set. Once again she knew the exhilaration of dancing with Nathan, the touch of his hand, even though they were both wearing gloves, sending shockwaves through her body. His intimate smile turned her insides to water. When the dance required him to take her left hand his grip on her fingers tightened.
‘You are wearing your rings!’
‘I thought it was time,’ she said.
‘And has no one noticed?’
She met his eyes, her own twinkling with mischief.
‘It is customary when dancing only to touch the tips of your partner’s fingers, my lord. Your grip is far too familiar!’
He grinned. ‘Baggage!’ he hissed as the dance separated them once more.
When the music ended he led her off the floor and procured a glass of wine for her.
‘Thank you.’ She glanced around; there were laughing and chattering groups on all sides, but none close enough to overhear her. ‘I received a letter today, from my uncle’s lawyer.’ She glanced up at him. ‘It seems my uncle’s legacy has grown into a very useful sum. I have you to thank for that, I think.’
‘I sought out the man when I got back from Corunna. I thought you might have contacted him. Once he knew I was your husband he disclosed to me details of your uncle’s estate. I advised him to invest it for you.’
‘As my husband you could have taken it for your own,’ she said carefully, ‘to replace the money you had given me.’
‘I could, of course, had I wanted to do so.’
She kept her eyes upon the wineglass, held tightly between her hands. ‘You did not think, then, that I had stolen your money?’
‘No, I never really thought that of you.’
She gave him a tremulous smile. ‘I am very relieved to hear that, my lord,’ she murmured, her spirits lifting.
Nathan was in no hurry to move away. Felicity was surprised at how easily they conversed, but eventually she felt obliged to comment.
‘We are attracting attention, my lord. You should not be spending so much of your time with…’ she hesitated ‘…Lady Souden’s drab little attendant.’
A smile glinted in his eyes. ‘Is that what I called you? Damned impudence!’
She laughed. ‘It was no more than I deserved. Bu
t truly, you should leave me now, sir. People will talk.’
He moved closer. ‘Let them talk. In a few days it will not matter.’
A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine.
‘There will be waltzing later,’ he said. ‘Will you stand up with me?’
‘Perhaps, my lord, if I am not engaged.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘I believe you are laughing at me.’
‘Would I dare to do that, my lord?’
‘I think in this mood you would dare anything!’ He kissed her hand. ‘Tomorrow morning I leave with the Emperor and the grand duchess for Portsmouth. One night there and I take them on to Dover. As soon as they have sailed my duty is done and I shall come for you.’ He added quietly, ‘I cannot wait to have you to myself again, Fee.’
The blazing look in his eyes set her pulse racing. Such was its intensity that for a moment she thought he might sweep her up and carry her off that very instant. It shocked her to realise how much she wanted him to do just that. He held out his arm to her.
‘Would you like me to escort you back to Lady Souden now, Miss Brown?’
Felicity gave herself a mental shake. This was Lady Souden’s ball, part of the Prince Regent’s Peace Celebrations. Nathan had his duties to attend to, as had she. But soon…
‘Ah, there you are, Cos!’ Mr Appleby’s cheerful voice called out behind them. ‘I’ve been looking for you.’
Impatience flickered over Nathan’s face.
‘Well, Gerald, now you’ve found me.’
‘Aye. Here’s an old friend eager to meet you again,’ said Gerald as they turned towards him.
Leaning on Nathan’s arm, Felicity felt him tense. There, standing beside Gerald, was Serena Craike.
Chaotic thoughts reeled through Felicity’s mind. What new torment was this? She had helped Lydia write the guest list and had seen all the replies; she would have known if Serena Craike—or Ansell—had been amongst the guests.
‘Lady Ansell arrived in town only this morning,’ Gerald continued. ‘Knowing you were old friends, General Rowland brought her along with him.’
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