“What lie?”
“The one I told last night when you asked if I wanted to be an Immortal.”
“You… you wanted this?”
“Well, maybe not this exactly,” she said, nodding at the bandage on his wrist, “but to stay young and live forever? I’m human, Joshua. Of course I wanted it.”
“But last night, you said no. You made a compelling argument, full of valid points.”
Points that were still valid. They were the reason he had decided long ago he would never pass his immortality on to anyone else. But then Ada came along and changed everything. He had only been half-serious when he’d asked at the concert, more to gauge her reaction than anything. At least, that was what he thought he was doing until she turned him down and he’d felt the blow of her rejection.
“Last night, I said what I thought you wanted to hear. Last night I was trying not to get my hopes up.” Her chin quivered. “Last night I was a horrible, selfish person who would have done anything to have a chance to not have people gather around my casket and talk about how I beat the odds by living to forty. I didn’t know. I wasn’t thinking it through. I didn’t think about how… that you would…” She broke off in a sob. It was an ugly cry, her face red and contorted in anguish. The sight shredded Joshua’s heart as effectively as his dagger had shredded hers.
His arms tightened around her, and she grabbed his shoulders, burying her face in his chest. Her tears soaked through the fabric of his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry.”
He had no idea why she was apologizing when he was clearly the one in the wrong, but he soothed her by running his hands through her hair and along her back while telling her it would be okay.
“No it won’t be okay,” she said, pulling herself up, her hazel eyes burning gold. “You gave me your immortality. You’re going to die and leave me all alone.”
“Hey, slow down. It’s not like that. I’m fit as a fiddle.” The wrist he’d split open gave a little shout of protest. “At least there isn’t anything wrong with me that won’t heal.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’m fine. I’m going to be fine.” There was so much she didn’t know about who and what they were. He wished he’d had time to explain it all to her before. He wished a lot of things had gone differently, but for the first time since he found Ada on the brink of death, he didn’t regret that they had happened. “No, I’m not an Er’el anymore, but that doesn't mean I’m going to slither off this mortal coil anytime soon.”
“I don’t care if it’s fifty minutes or fifty years from now, I’m not going to be ready to let you go.”
And just like that, Joshua’s heart was mended back together.
“Then we’ll just have to make sure I stick around a lot longer than that,” he said. “It shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ll just avoid all extremely hazardous activities. No more battles with Shifters or riding in cars with Talley. If we play our cards right, we could have another 500 years together, give or take a millennium.”
Ada’s eyebrows drew in together. “But if you’re not an Er’el anymore, if you gave me your immortality…?”
“I can be killed. It won’t be easy, but if you cut off my head, it won’t reattach.”
Ada’s hand went to her throat. “Will mine?”
“Yep.”
Her eyes widened in shock. Later, he would explain the process to her, but unlike his mentor, he wouldn’t cut off a finger and let it reattach to demonstrate. He would teach her to fight, how to protect herself and the things she cares for, but unlike the other Erelim, she wouldn’t be an angel of revenge. Instead, she would be a true protector. One who chose her battles based on love, not hate.
She would be glorious, and he planned on sticking around to see it.
“I’m not quite as strong as I used to be.” Which was why Jase and Scout found him unconscious. He’d been careful with his cut, and although it looked like a lot of blood, he hadn’t lost enough to black out. But the shock of losing the preternatural strength he’d grown accustomed to was too much for his body. It had collapsed as his muscles fought to remember how to hold him together. “And I won’t heal as quickly as before, but it’ll still be quicker than most people.” He pulled his mouth up into a half-smile. “But don’t worry, I’ll stay this young and attractive forever.”
Ada chewed on her bottom lip, processing it all.
“I’m going to live forever,” she said.
It wasn't a question, but Joshua answered. “Yes.”
“And so are you.”
“I’m going to try.”
“And you and me?” Color blazed in her cheeks as she dropped her gaze. “What does the future hold for us?”
For the two of them? Everything. She wanted to see the world, and he would show her. They would experience life together.
He was assailed with images. Walking along the Great Wall of China, hand-in-hand with Ada. Kissing her at the base of the Eiffle Tower, flutes of champagne in hand. Her lying in his bed, tangled in the sheets.
Lots and lots of images of her lying in his bed, tangled in sheets.
“I know you don’t believe in Seers—”
“I’m starting to,” she interjected. “I’m holding off on the werewolf thing until I see one, but the Seer thing is definitely starting to make sense.”
“Well, I’m a firm believer in Seers and their visions, and if they say we’re meant to be together forever, then there is no way I can argue. It’s fate.”
Scout’s warning about knowing the future rang in his head. Did Ada find the knowledge to be a burden? Did she want to be tied to him for life? Or was she overwhelmed, knowing she would be forever linked to this person she barely knew.
“Of course, we don’t have to rush into anything. We have time to—”
She didn’t let him finish. Her mouth attacked his without finesse. It still tasted of blood, but he didn’t care. He kissed her back with just as much urgency. As far as Joshua was concerned, they could spend the rest of eternity just like this and he would consider it a life well lived.
Chapter 30
“Is this everything?” Joshua asked from the door, Ada’s “I <3 Men in Uniforms” Avengers bag tossed over one shoulder and her unicorn pillow pet tucked under his arm.
“That’s all.” Her bedroom was still mostly full. She was leaving so much behind, but she needed a clean break. She’d only packed her clothes and the few things she couldn't do without, like her grandmother’s record collection and the cards Lucy mailed her so long ago. She picked up the end of her bed to make sure she wasn’t leaving something important behind. Her transformation from sick girl to Immortal had been a little over a month ago, and she was still amazed by how easy it was to lift impossibly heavy things. And breathe. Breathing was crazy easy. Normal, non-CF people, had no idea how good they had it. “The vest is already in the Escalade, right?”
“Yep.”
“And my purple suitcase?”
“It was the first thing I put in there.”
Everything was done. All that was left was going downstairs and telling her family goodbye.
Ada stood in the middle of the floor, her eyes roaming over the familiar room she would never see again.
“My make-up bag?”
Joshua slid an arm around her waist. “We can wait,” he said, his breath warming her ear. “Take another week or two. You don’t have to do this now.”
Ada squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Yes, I do.”
Leaving was hard, but pretending was even harder. It wasn’t just enduring treatments she no longer needed and faking coughing fits. It was as if all the things that had been pushing her toward the door before her transformation were starting to shove and throw elbows. From the moment she became an Immortal she felt free, but staying in the world where she had always lived was like clamping iron shackles around her ankles, and she wasn’t the kind of caged bird who sang. She was the kind w
ho gnawed at the filaments trying to set herself loose.
Joshua stuck around after the wedding, dividing his time between teaching her about her new abilities and guarding over Angel. He told her about the SHP, the note they’d received from someone within the organization hinting Angel was in danger, and how everyone had expected something to happen during the chaos surrounding the Alphas’ wedding. They had initially thought Dorian might be one of theirs, but when they were finally convinced he was just another addict with access to a firearm, they had to rethink their strategy for keeping Angel safe. Scout had wanted to take her sister back to their compound just outside of Lexington, but in typical Angel fashion, she refused to leave her friends and softball schedule behind.
Joshua had seized the opportunity to stay behind to increase the amount and level of surveillance equipment on the cabin the Donovans were staying in until their new house was finished and to train the Shifters assigned to guard the family he considered his. His continued presence in Timber allowed Ada to stick around longer and tie up the few loose ends that were possible to tie, but Joshua had declared his Shifters fully competent over a week ago, leaving the two of them without a reason to hang around. When Ada was offered an opportunity to attend the small, private college near the Alpha Pack’s Den out of the blue, she took it, and opted for the orientation class requiring her to move in almost a month early.
She was going to college, just like a normal kid. And like a normal college student, her calls home would grow less and less frequent as the semester wore on. On her way home for Thanksgiving break, Joshua’s vehicle would careen off the Kentucky River Bridge at a place where the railing was weak. Neither her body nor his would be recovered, but since no mortal human could survive the crash, they would be declared dead, and that would be it. Ada Jessup would cease to exist, and she would never see her parents again.
It was for the best, she knew it was, but she still felt like vomiting every time she thought about it. Her parents were going to be devastated, and no matter how frustrating they could be, she still loved them with all her heart. Cutting herself off from them was going to hurt her in ways she couldn’t even begin to understand. But there were no other options. The moment she visited her specialist in December, they would know something was up. Even if she could somehow convince them to not go with her to the doctor, they would eventually notice she wasn’t aging. Her mother had already started making comments about how much healthier she was looking and the weight she seemed to magically be putting on. Her father had attributed it to the prayers of the righteous, but Scout was right. He would start questioning what was going on at some point. And if there was one thing everyone agreed on, it was that her parents weren’t capable of accepting the existence of Immortals.
She walked over to her collection of stuffed animals and touched a brown kitten Lucy had given her in exchange for Ada’s Ariel purse. “Goodbye, kitten,” she said. “Goodbye, mitten. Goodbye, clocks. Goodbye, socks. Goodbye, room.” She couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. This part was harder than she was expecting. It was all just stuff, but leaving it was breaking her heart. How was she to survive what she had to do downstairs?
Of course, she knew exactly how she would survive. It would be the same way she’d survived everything these last few tumultuous weeks.
She’d worried in the beginning that once she and Joshua really got to know one another better, they would realize they’d made a horrible mistake. Fortunately, it was a completely unfounded fear. When he wasn’t protecting the Donovans, he was with Ada. Her parents hadn’t been too thrilled at his constant presence in the beginning, but it hadn’t taken long for his charm to win them over. By the second week her mother was preparing meals of his favorite foods and her father was asking Joshua’s opinion on various passages from scripture.
As much as her parents had grown to love Joshua, it was nowhere near the amount of love Ada held for him in her heart. Through everything his support was unwavering. He listened patiently as she monologued for hours about the future she never dreamed would be hers, held her tight when fear began to overwhelm her, and made her laugh when nothing in the world seemed funny anymore.
As she grieved for the life she had once lived and would never visit again, he held her, his silence more comforting than any false platitudes. Once she was able to pull herself together, he dried her cheeks and kissed a spark of happiness back into her soul before leading her downstairs. Her mother stood at the kitchen counter, chopping carrots into uniform pieces. Her eyes were red and swollen, and not from the as-to-yet-be-chopped onions.
“We’re heading out,” Ada said, making her mother jump. Fortunately, her mother was used to being spooked by her children while using a knife and didn’t accidentally cut off a finger.
“Do you have your inhaler?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t gone anywhere without it in fifteen years. Even though she no longer needed it, keeping it handy was a hard-to-break habit.
“I’ve packed you some food in the cooler. A couple of ham sandwiches, some of that potato salad I made last night, and a few of those fried pies Joshua is so fond of.”
The drive was only four hours long and there were multiple restaurants along the way, but Ada understood. Her mother was showing she cared the only way she knew how. For her, “I made you a sandwich,” was “I love you.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Ada said, wrapping her arms around her mother. All of her life, Ada had been the frail one, her disease never allowing her body to get all the nutrients she needed, but now she could feel how fragile her mother had become. “I’ll mail your cooler back to you.”
“Oh no. That’s too expensive. Just bring it back when you come home in November.”
Ada nodded and swallowed back a sob. She would have to think of a good reason to send it back before then. Maybe she could bake some cookies and mail them home. Her mother definitely needed the calories if the bumps along the center of her back were anything to go by.
“Leaving?”
At the sound of a voice that had alternately been loving and demanding over the years, Ada took a deep breath and tried to meet her father’s gaze. “Joshua is sticking the last few things in his Escalade,” she said, her own voice unsteady.
For the next thirty minutes, her parents bombarded her with advice and reminders. She listened to every one, memorized it, and made promises to herself to carry through with the ones she could. When it was time for their final hugs, her mother slipped a couple of twenties into her pocket.
“Call as soon as you get there,” she said, smoothing her hands over Ada’s hair as Joshua walked back into the kitchen. “The moment the car is in park, understand?”
“Yes, mother.”
“And don’t be distracting that boy while he drives. He needs to focus on the road, not you.”
“Hands at ten and two, and eyes forward,” Joshua promised.
“I love you, baby,” her mother said before running out of the room. Ada pretended not to hear the horrible sobbing coming from the bathroom. Ignoring her mother’s emotional outbursts was a Jessup family tradition.
Ada wondered if it was one of the things she would eventually come to miss.
“You know you don’t have to go,” Revered Jessup said. He was using his I-am-here-to-comfort-you-in-a-time-of-crisis voice. Surprisingly, it actually was comforting. “There is nothing wrong with changing your mind. There are people here in Timber who love you and will take care of you. Can you say the same about Chinoe?”
“Yes,” Ada answered honestly. After all, Joshua would be in Chinoe, and wherever he was, there would always be at least one person who loved her and would do anything to protect her. Not that she really needed protecting these days. Of course, she couldn’t really say any of those things to her father, so instead she said, “Scout and Jase are going to keep an eye on me so you won’t have to worry.”
The look on his face said he thought the need for worry had just increased by leaps
and bounds.
“I have to go, Daddy,” she said before he could start a sermon on not lying with vipers or some such nonsense. “I’ve already signed a housing contract.” As in, she’d been ordered to move into the Alpha Pack Den. “They’re expecting me to be there.”
Revered Jessup smiled, one of the first honest-to-our-Heavenly-Father smiles she’d seen from him in a long time.
“You’re not fooling me, Ada-girl.” He poked her belly twice, the way he used to when she was little. Just like then, she couldn’t stop the giggle bubbling out of her. “I know you’re chomping at the bit to get out there on your own. You’ve always been my independent child.”
Ada felt her eyes go wide.
“Me? Independent?” She had always been the epitome of dependent, needing her parents to help with treatments and keep the monsters at bay during long, terrifying nights at the hospital.
“To the core,” he said. “I often thought God gave you your illness just so I could have a chance to get to know you before you ran headlong into the world without ever looking back.”
Ada could only stare at her father in shock. For years she’d played the obedient daughter, never once voicing her desire to run away and experience everything life had to offer, but he had known all along. How much of the true Ada did he see?
She wanted to know, and even more, she wanted to know what he thought about the real Ada, because at that moment, he didn’t seem judgmental or disappointed. In fact, he looked proud.
A double helping of tears clogged her throat. It was overwhelmingly unfair that she was discovering there could have been more to their relationship when it was too late.
She was vaguely aware of her father asking Joshua to watch over her before they got into the truck and drove away, but everything was muted by a grief-filled fog.
After leaving her parents’ house - she was already not thinking of it as her own anymore - they stopped by the Donovans’ cabin where she shared another tearful goodbye with her sister, who clung to her as if she knew Ada was never coming back. Even knowing the Alphas had agreed she could let Kinsey into the Circle of Trust once she was older, it was nearly impossible to let go. The ache in her chest was so intense, she was only half-aware of Joshua guiding her back outside. For miles, the only sound inside the vehicle was Van Morrison’s voice pouring out of the speakers and Ada’s sniffles.
Infinite Harmony Page 23
