by S S Bazinet
Grace gave him a playful wink. “The guardian angel business calls for a lot of compromises. Whatever makes Carol happy makes me happy. She is such a sweet soul.”
Michael glanced over at Carol. The woman’s blond hair hung loose on her shoulders, she had one foot tucked up under her. She was completely focused. Her delicate fingers moved rapidly over the keyboard, pausing occasionally. Each time she stopped to read the replies to her messages, her face lit up. Only Grace and Michael could appreciate Carol’s energy field. Her blissful mood created lovely patterns of bright, pink sparkles that enveloped her in a cocoon of bliss.
Grace let out a heavy sigh. “I sometimes wish that she’d let me do more. If only we could chat again, I’d tell her how special she is.”
“You’re doing a fine job.”
“I couldn’t feel closer to her.” As Grace spoke, her energy doubled, filling the room with a soft, but dazzling light. It was a perfect complement to Carol’s dreams of love just a chat room away. The two energies, one human and one angelic, merged and made little rainbows of light dance in the air.
Michael’s smile broadened. “I sense a bit of attachment.”
Grace’s reply was immediate. “Of course, we’ve been together in so many lifetimes. When the Forgetting happens, it’s always rather difficult.”
Michael paused, thinking about Arel. The man he was trying to help wasn’t in a receptive mood. Arel was trying very hard to forget that Michael existed. “Sorry, Grace, but even if humans knew that we were around, they might not appreciate us.”
Grace laughed. “You’re right. At the moment, I’m sure that Carol would ignore me. The only thing that she thinks about is her computer friend. And that is how it should be. I’ve been hoping that she would find someone and fall in love.” She glanced up at Michael. “And how about you? I’ve heard that you have a unique project that you’re working on. Is it true that you’re helping a very special soul?”
Michael nodded. When it came to information, the angelic grapevine could be better than a television or online news feed. Grace had obviously been tuned into that data source. Luckily, she seemed unaware of the details of his ‘project.’
“Actually, that’s why I’m here, Grace. I’d like to talk about Arel, or Mike, as Carol calls him.”
Grace gasped. “You mean that your person is Carol’s person?” Her delight made the room flash sunshine bright. “I’m sure he’s a nice, young man. Carol thinks he’s so wonderful.”
Michael paused, keeping the scope of his news shielded. He had to tell Grace about Arel in a carefully planned, carefully worded way. She had a reputation for being a little temperamental. After working for ages with humans, even angels could be a little reactive. Grace was one of those angels. “Hmm. Nice is not quite the word to describe Arel. And he’s not exactly a young man.”
Grace went on instant alert. “What aren’t you telling me?” she asked as her wings fanned out wider.
Michael understood her sudden concern. Distracted with how to impart his news, he’d sent out a disquieting signal that angels used when they needed to gather forces. “It’s okay, Grace. Let me explain.”
“Tell me everything, please,” she insisted. “Who is this person, and why is he contacting my Carol?”
* * * * *
Michael’s news did not sit well with Grace. After he filled her in on some details about who and what Arel was, her response was quite adamant.
“No, no, no, this will not do at all!” she cried out.
Even if human ears didn’t notice her volume, Michael’s angelic ones got the message. “I understand how you feel, but there’s more involved here than I can explain.”
Grace moved to where Carol was sitting and protectively placed her wings around her charge. “And of course I’m bound to honor that. But I also know that this situation is about more than a normal human being interacting with another human being. Carol’s become emotionally attached to someone who could harm her.”
Michael’s eyes conveyed understanding, but also steadfastness. “We need to let events follow their course.”
Grace’s wings expanded in shield strength as she stared back at him. “But there has to be something we can do, some way we can help.” She stiffened. “I refuse to let this . . . this thing, this vampire, come into my sweet Carol’s life and play havoc with her innocent, unsuspecting heart. He could do horrible damage. And if there’s any danger of her life being threatened, you know I can’t stand idly by.”
In an instant, she went from her sweet maternal self to an entirely different kind of angel. Human form was quickly forgotten. The gentle smile and soft body of a housemother was replaced by a fiery presence.
Grace’s fierce, protective stance made Michael smile inwardly. Carol had a powerful ally on her side. Grace was one of the old ones who had championed celestial campaigns long before the conception of humankind. Diplomacy and reassurance were required.
“Actually, it’s Arel that I’m more worried about.”
Grace calmed herself, letting her blazing colors cool into soft pastels again. “Of course, you’re right. I’m sorry if I acted inappropriately. Your wisdom is impeccable. But, if I may be so bold, I suggest that we should do something immediately. I can feel Carol’s hopes and desires growing stronger every day. She’s totally smitten with—”
Michael could tell that Grace was at a loss as to how to address Arel. He heard the word, parasite, flash through her mind before she continued.
“Carol is totally smitten with this Arel.” As Grace spoke, her glow became noticeably dimmer. “And I know what happens when Carol gets carried away. She can make terrible choices.”
Eight
CAROL'S FINGERS WERE at the keyboard, quickly typing out questions, needing more information. “So tell me all about being a suicide hotline volunteer. I’m really curious.” She wasn’t just curious, she was hungry. She wanted to know everything about Mike. Her crush was growing into something unexpected.
Could I really fall in love with a guy I haven’t met?
The question frightened her, but her desires were getting stronger than her common sense.
On his end of the connection, Arel didn’t feel either fear or desire. He was busy swallowing a hard lump in his throat, trying to remember all the lies that he’d told Carol. As the weeks slipped by, he’d become so relaxed, he’d boasted excessively.
Stupid idiot! Why did you do that? You’re getting yourself into deep water here. What if you can’t keep it all straight? What if she finds out you’re a fraud?
He took a deep breath and typed in a reply. “It’s scary being a volunteer. I just hope and pray every time I pick up the phone that I’ll be able to say the right things.”
Carol’s face brightened as her heart did a small flip.
What a sweetheart Mike is! So concerned that he prays.
What would she do in his gallant shoes? Questions leapt about in her mind as she tried to understand the way Mike handled life. She typed out her next query. “What do you say to someone who wants to kill himself?”
Arel paused and blinked at the monitor.
Oh hell! Good question. What would I say?
He pushed a hand through his thick, wavy hair. Still trying to come up with an answer, he laughed, but it was curt and derisive. He knew what he’d say to a potential suicide. “Get out while you can! Bon voyage, you lucky bastard!”
Death, glorious death! With his mind and body shot to hell, he longed to rest in peace. If he could simply go out and face the sun, it would all be over in short order. But the thought of burning to death was too horrific. His hands went to the keyboard. “I tell people that they matter, even if they don’t feel that way. I try to explain that beyond the feelings, there is a deeper truth to each of us.”
As he typed out Michael’s words, he knew he didn’t believe them. But Carol needed lies, didn’t she? She wanted to think everything was rosy and simple. If only she knew the truth about him, it certainl
y would change that perception.
Carol’s reply came quickly. “That’s beautiful. You must help a lot of people.”
He laughed again.
Oh yeah! I’m the male version of Mother Teresa. Just ask my friends. Oh, I forgot. Except for you, I don’t have any friends. Damn! Damn! Damn!
“I try my best,” he typed back.
Carol felt her chest go tight.
I know you do your best, my sweet, dedicated man.
A daydream flashed through her mind. She stood on the rooftop of a tall building, ready to end it all. She’d been alone for so long. Why should she go on? The answer appeared out of the darkness. A gorgeous guy walked toward her. He was tall and handsome, but he was also so good, so caring, so kind. He was begging her not to jump, pleading with her to let him mend her heart. She ran toward him breathlessly.
As Carol started gasping for real, she typed in her feelings. “You’re a real, live hero.”
Arel immediately felt a pang of guilt. He was using Michael’s words shamelessly and thought he’d better start mending fences.
At least tell her the truth about the advice, you cad!
“I think I’m misleading you. I can’t take credit for my guidance. A friend taught me what to say. By myself, I’m often clueless.”
Carol shook her head and sighed. She couldn’t believe how honest Mike insisted on being. How many guys would fess up like him? Her reply needed to convey her new level of appreciation for him. “I don’t think it matters where inspiration comes from. The point is that you use that advice to help others. Most people, the majority, never use the wisdom that comes their way.”
Arel mopped his forehead with a monogrammed, linen kerchief.
Listen, sister, you have no idea about wisdom. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I’m a bloody wreck over here after giving in to Michael’s wisdom.
He needed to change the subject. He was getting sick of the direction the conversation was taking. “Enough about me. You never told me what you did today.”
“Oh, I had lunch with my friend, Peggy. Remember, she’s the gal that I’ve talked about before. Anyway, she thinks I’m crazy.”
Arel saw a red flag go up, a large, chilling, scarlet flag. Why would someone think that Carol was crazy? Was she crazy? Was he talking to someone with a mental problem? His fingers attacked the keyboard. “Why would she think something like that?”
“Because of you, Mike. I told her about you a few days ago, and now you’re the topic of conversation at every lunch. She thinks that you’re too good to be true, but I know better. I told her so.”
Arel cringed.
Me? She’s telling people about me?
His heart sped up, but he tried to remain as calm as possible. Still his fingers started shaking. “Thanks for sticking up for me.”
Carol’s nurturing hormones came alive. Her mind was flooded with a need to care for and protect the gentle soul on the other end of the chat.
Of course I stuck up for you. You’re noble and chivalrous! There aren’t many like you around anymore.
She smiled as she typed. “I wish we could really meet, and I could introduce you to Peggy. She’d see what you’re really like. Do you think that would be possible some day?”
If Arel weren’t already as pale as a sheet, he was bleached alabaster now. His fingers slipped from the keyboard.
Oh, my holy Creator! She wants to meet me! My worst scenario is happening!
He’d had a perfect woman once. The experience left him with enough guilt and heartbreak to last for an eternity. He’d never allow that again. He’d never get involved with another real relationship.
He pushed his chair back, stood up, and swayed with fear and anxiety. Grabbing the desk, he held on. “Never, never again!” he shouted. His heart leapt about so hard, he was sure it was going to end his existence by crashing through his chest wall.
You’re going to spoil everything, Carol! I can’t meet you! Ever!
A second scenario presented itself, and his heart stilled a little.
Even if I wanted a simple friendship, it wouldn’t work, Carol. I’m a liar and worse.
As he went through his hopeless options, a message popped up on the monitor.
“Are you still there, Mike? Did I say the wrong thing?”
His mouth felt so dry he didn’t think he’d ever swallow again. Then his vision went double.
Calm yourself, man! Stay calm! You have to tell her something!
He fell back into his chair, squinted a couple of times, and found the keyboard. “You could never say the wrong thing. I just spilled my coffee and was mopping up.”
Carol’s reply was quick. “Are you a coffee addict too?”
Arel’s brow narrowed.
Coffee? Hell, no! Creatures like me don’t drink coffee! I need blood! Nice, red, tasty blood!
“Coffee addict? You bet,” he replied, wiping his forehead again. “Hold on, I’m getting a phone call. Oh heck, I think it’s the hotline. They probably want me to come in early. Sorry, but I have to sign off.”
Carol read Mike’s reply and slumped back with disappointment. She couldn’t believe he had to log off so soon. Still, she had to try to be at least half as noble as Mike. “Of course, I understand. Sharing you with people who desperately need your help is the least that I can do. Good night Mike.”
Arel had never been so relieved to sign off. Afterwards, he let out a moan. After his conversation with Carol, he needed a suicide hotline himself. When he stood up this time, he staggered away from the computer as quickly as possible. His legs were ready to give out.
Just go to bed and try to forget it.
He was so exhausted. He had to get some sleep. Even a nightmare would be better than staying awake thinking that he’d have to meet Carol. He stumbled heavily toward his bedroom, lamenting as he went. When he climbed into bed, he remembered how Michael tried to warn him about getting involved with someone. Did he listen? No, of course he didn’t. Instead, he encouraged Carol, night after night, with his deceits and fabrications.
But how long would she think I was a hero if she met me in an alley and watched me hunting rats? Would she think I was too good to be true if she saw me drinking blood?
The thought turned over and over in his mind as he tried to go to sleep. He kept imagining all the blood he’d ingested in the past hundred years.
I’m a monster, Carol! A blood sucking monster!
It was the last thought he had before he finally drifted off.
Nine
AREL PAUSED AND glanced around the room, noting how different it was from his own bedroom. The white-on-white motif wasn’t unpleasant, but he preferred a richer design. His choices leaned towards dark woods like mahogany or cherry, and he liked more color in his bedding. The quiet was a plus. There was something to be said for the lack of sound when a person needed to relax. Even his heartbeat was returning to normal. It was slowing down, finding its perfect rhythm as he let out a sigh of contentment.
Finally, I don’t have to worry anymore.
Carol lay motionless beneath him. All his fears and anxiety about meeting her had been for naught. When they came together, he’d taken care of everything. He didn’t deny his lies. He told Carol the truth. At first, she’d been surprised, but she’d also been curious. It wasn’t long before her curiosity turned to touch. She was immediately drawn to the mystery of what he was, responding to his strength, his animal nature, that pure creature who coveted her.
He’d never expected things to move so quickly. As Carol made her neediness known, he realized how easy it would be to satisfy her. But there was more to celebrate. Carol understood him. She accepted him totally. It was such a liberating part of being with her. He had loved Justina with all his heart, but he’d never been able to share what he was with her. There was always a barrier of guilt and deceit between them. Carol was different. There was nothing to hide when she looked at him. She was so anxious, so filled with longing.
When he allowed his dark nature to take over, she didn’t fight him. She gave herself completely. As he sunk his teeth into her flesh, she cried out with pleasure. Her enjoyment, her cries, added a sweet ecstasy to the moment. He drank from the fount of a woman who had never known a creature like him. She became an offering, a sacrifice to carnality, to nature’s most detestable, yet enticing, creation. Her hot, sweet blood filled his mouth, and he swallowed it in great, gluttonous gulps.
When it was over, Carol lay quiet and lifeless. In their exchange, she had given her life for his. Yet, he felt no remorse, no shame. It was an unholy union, but one that was necessary. Justina had brought him grief and torment. Carol had given him freedom.
For the first time, he accepted who and what he was. In the past, he’d tried to deny his animal nature. He’d tried to rise above all that was base and ugly, but he’d always failed. Now, he was done with stinking alleys and rats. He was done with Michael and the hope that he could be different.
After he got up and dressed, he looked back at the bed. Animal or not, he’d been careful, and it showed. The linens were still pearly white except for a few red droplets where he had fed. But he did have a few duties to perform before he said a last goodbye. After living so long with certain routines, he still enjoyed order and neatness. When he left Carol’s house, he’d make sure that everything was tidy.
He had just finished straightening a picture that hung a bit crooked on the wall when he noticed how cold he felt. That was strange. He was usually warm after he fed, but he wasn’t concerned. Instead, he continued with his chores. He picked up a stuffed toy that Carol loved, that she’d described as her security bear. He looked at its fuzzy, worn face and let out a satisfied sigh. “You’re off duty now, Charlie. You’re off duty forever.”
As he patted the bear, his stomach made an odd, gurgling noise and went queasy. That was also strange. He never got sick.
He was putting the final touches on the room when he had to stop. Dropping Carol’s lacy nightgown to the floor, he grabbed his gut in pain. He had to sit down on the bed and try to breathe.
