by S S Bazinet
Michael nodded approvingly. “That’s actually pretty good. Maybe you should write that down.”
“Great! A lot of help you are. Don’t I get to retain even a shred of decency in her eyes?”
“Being truthful might be the best way to impress her.”
“Oh it’ll impress her alright. She’ll be so impressed that she’ll never go online again, at least not to access a chat room with someone like me.”
Michael shrugged. “We’ll have to take that chance.”
“We? Where is there a ‘we’ in all of this?”
“I’m here to help,” Michael said, sounding sincere.
“I see. Do you know what this feels like to me? I’m like some private in the army during a war. He gets his orders. ‘Take this message across enemy lines. Give the message to our guys.’ So the private takes the message and delivers it. He’s running back to his unit. Unfortunately, he gets his head blown off before he can return to safety. Later, his Sergeant comes up to his carcass and announces, ‘Congratulations, soldier, we got that message across.’”
Michael chuckled. “Like I told Abrigail, you have a very dry humor. Your subject matter is rather dark, but your delivery is perfect. You could have done well in comedy.”
“Yes, I could have been a vampire on the comedy circuit. I can hear my intro. ‘Let’s hear it for Arel. He’s a vampire with a very, dry sense of humor! But you can fix that for him, folks. After the show, step backstage and let him have a little ‘feed’ back.’”
Michael laughed again. “You’re great.”
“Thanks. I’m so glad that one of us is smiling.”
Michael’s eyes sparkled. “You have a very unique perspective. It’s witty.”
“Vampire humor, it’s a real niche.” Arel sulked, but his eyes flickered mischievously. “Maybe you’d like me to start a comic strip. I could call it, ‘Doomsbury.’ Picture this, a vampire who’s also a company boss. He’s in a business suit. He’s standing over his victim saying, ‘Hate to eat and run, Bob, but I have to get back to the office.’”
As his mind conjured up ideas, Arel realized that it had been a long time since humor had been a part of his thought process except for his brief moments of laughter with Carol. He stared at Michael with wondering eyes. Had angelic blood given him a more amusing outlook? “I know this is a strange question because I haven’t seen much evidence of it, but here goes. Do angels engage in humor?”
Michael laughed, filling the room with a deep resonant tone of delight. “Of course we do.”
Arel frowned so deeply his brows became a straight line of annoyance. “So you’ve been holding out on me?”
“I didn’t think you’d enjoy my sense of humor, since you take everything so seriously.”
“I could have used a little cheering up. All these years and I’m thinking you’re the serious one, St. Michael. Be reverent around the guy!”
“Arel, please, you haven’t always been reverent.”
“Whatever! Your vibes, and I hate to say this, but for an angel, they’re heavy.”
“Really? So you want me to bring in more humor?”
“Absolutely.”
Sixteen
SUNDAY NIGHT WAS both wonderful and terrible for Carol. It was wonderful because she was spending another evening with Kevin. It was terrible because she was ignoring Mike. The evening before, she’d totally forgotten about him. She’d never once thought about their usual online meeting. Now, she sat at the computer, typing out lies. She couldn’t bear to tell him the truth.
Sorry, Mike, I’m having too much fun with Kevin to think about you.
Mike wasn’t making her situation any easier. As she tried to beg off another day of conversation, he seemed so intent on chatting with her. He was so intent that she’d blurted out an excuse that was absurd. She told him that her sister was having a baby, and she had to be there for her. The truth was that she didn’t have a sister, much less a pregnant one. Signing off and quickly closing down the connection, she felt a lump in her throat, a big, horrible lump of deception.
I know it’s wrong, Mike, but I just can’t explain what’s going on, not now. Kevin is waiting for me.
She walked into the living room carrying two bowls of popcorn and a heavy load of guilt. This kind of behavior wasn’t like her. No matter what Peggy thought, she wasn’t one to get carried away, to forget her responsibility to someone she cared about.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kevin asked as soon as he saw her.
“I’ve let someone down.” She put the bowls on the coffee table and took a seat next to him. “He’s just a friend, but I’ve been neglecting him since I’ve met you.”
Kevin’s face brightened. “A friend?”
“Yes, we usually chat on the weekends, but I’ve been having such a nice time with—” She stopped herself, staring at Kevin with penitent eyes.
“So I’m the culprit?” Kevin smiled and put his arm around her shoulders. “I’ve been too demanding, taking up all your time. Is that it?”
She couldn’t resist his smile, or the way he looked at her with a thoughtful, yet slightly devilish gaze. “Yes, I guess you have.”
Kevin sat back. “I’m sorry. Is that a problem?”
Goodness no!
She wanted to shout out the words. Kevin wasn’t a problem. He was great, what romantics call a dream come true. “I’ll have to explain things to my friend tomorrow.”
“I was hoping that you’d say that.”
“Am I a horrible person?”
Kevin tilted her chin up, staring at her with eyes that had now been purged of the devil. They were bright, sincere. “No, you’re not horrible. You’re the nicest woman that I’ve ever met. I’m sorry for your friend, but I’m afraid I’m too selfish to regret a single moment that we’ve had together. And if it’s okay with you, I’d like to have a lot more.”
“I’d like that too.”
She felt like she could see beyond Kevin’s handsome face, beyond his strong, inviting body. She saw who he really was. It was easy. He didn’t hide anything. Unlike her, he was totally honest about what he thought and felt. It was so easy to like him. If she let herself, she knew that it might be easy to love him when they got to know each other better.
That’s a crazy idea. First you thought you might be in love with Mike, and now you’re gaga over Kevin. After all these years of avoiding men, you’re running romance central through your brain 24/7.
She snuggled closer to Kevin anyway. It felt so good to have his gorgeous flesh and blood body next to her. Peggy was right. It was different than chatting online. She couldn’t forget about Mike or her guilt, but for the moment, she could put those subjects on hold.
* * * * *
With the movie credits rolling on the television and Carol cuddled close to him, Kevin was in heaven. It had only been a couple of days since they had met, but he was already asking himself an amazing question. Had he found the perfect woman at last? Maybe part of it was that Carol and Peggy had been close friends for a long time, and he’d heard a lot about Carol from his sister. From everything that he’d experienced, Carol was even more wonderful than Peggy had told him. When she stirred in his arms, he reluctantly let go of her.
“Can I help you?” he asked as he watched her stand up.
Carol began to gather up the snack dishes. “No, there isn’t much here.” She glanced over at him. “Did you like the film?”
“Maybe I shouldn’t answer that. It was . . . interesting.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have suggested ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’,” she said with a blush of embarrassment. “Next time, we’ll watch something a little more middle of the road.”
“As long as we’re watching it together, you can choose whatever you want.”
Kevin hadn’t cared one way or the other about the film. He’d hardly paid any attention. Carol had totally distracted him. He’d wanted to kiss her, to touch her smooth, silky skin with more passion. It was everything he c
ould do to fight his urges. But he respected her. He didn’t want to rush her or to frighten her away. “Please, let me help,” he said quickly, standing up too and grabbing whatever dishes were left.
He noted as he always did, that he dwarfed Carol with his height and ex-football build.
She’s so tiny, so fragile. Be careful with her, you big oaf.
She smiled up at him. “It’s nice to see a guy who’s interested in being thoughtful.”
“I don’t know if it’s that. Growing up, Peggy was very insistent that we do our equal share of the chores. I suppose I’m a product of my upbringing.”
Carol led the way to the kitchen. “Your sister is a jewel.”
He let out a sort of half laugh. “I think of her more as a little gremlin. Do you know how many times she tried to beat me up when we were kids? I was always twice her size, but that didn’t stop her. Plus she knew the rule about a boy not being allowed to hit a girl. Damn, I came close to breaking that rule many a time.”
“I’m an only child, but I wish I could have had a brother.”
He gave her a sidelong glance. His teasing grin was broad and unguarded. “So you could beat him up?”
“Of course not. If I had a brother, I think we would have had adventures together. He would have taken me fishing and maybe we could have built a tree house.” She laughed. “I was a tomboy as a kid. I don’t remember wanting to play with dolls as much as most of the girls I knew.”
“Did your father take you fishing?”
“I wish.”
Kevin wedged himself into the place where Carol was standing as she rinsed dishes and put them in the dishwasher. “Move,” he ordered playfully. “I’ll take care of these.”
“Okay, if you insist.” She let him have her spot at the sink and grabbed a towel to dry her hands. “My Dad was sweet like you, but he was a workaholic. He made sure that I knew he loved me, but he was very busy most of the time.”
“What did he do?”
“He was a district attorney, and he eventually became a judge. But that was after he and my mother got divorced.”
“Divorce? That must have been tough,” Kevin said as he rinsed a dish. “Do you see your mom and dad very often?”
“Mom lives in California and Dad’s retired on the east coast. I visit them occasionally, but we’re not very close.”
Kevin dried his hands too and turned to admire her. “You don’t look like you were ever a tomboy. However, if you want to go fishing someday, I’m game.” He stepped closer and reached out for her hand. “Do you think that you’d still like to try it?”
She let him pull her closer. “Maybe.”
He took a deep breath, enjoying her perfume and her smile. “You know you’re a very rare type of woman.”
“Really?”
“I’m not an expert on dating, but I’ve done enough. Many of the women that I went out with had an edge to them. You’re not like that.”
“If I did have an edge, I think you’re the kind of man that would make me want to put it aside. You’re very nice.”
“Ouch, I hope I’m more than that.”
She laughed. “Why is ‘nice’ a bad thing? I like being with you because you are sweet and thoughtful.”
“And maybe a little exciting?” he asked playfully. When she blushed and didn’t say anything, he waited for an answer.
“Yes,” she finally admitted. “I do find you exciting.”
Carol’s tone and the way that she hung on to the front of his shirt, made Kevin bold. He didn’t like to force things after being burned a number of times, but now he had to let his desire have some leeway. He bent down and kissed her tenderly. When their lips parted, he knew he’d never felt so close to any of his former girlfriends. “I’d like to see you again, very soon.”
* * * * *
Carol couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin after he left. As she got ready for bed, she kept remembering how wonderful it felt to be in his arms.
Have I found a man who’s everything I’ve always wanted? A good man . . . a considerate man . . . a gorgeous man.
She stopped herself. She’d had some of the same thoughts about Mike. In her daydreams, he was gorgeous and almost perfect too.
“Maybe I’m in love with love,” she moaned. “I wish I could talk to somebody and get a fresh perspective.”
Peggy came to mind, but she was Kevin’s sister. It didn’t feel right to talk to her. The next thought was inexcusable.
Oh my, no matter what Kevin says, you are a horrible person, Carol Ann.
She wanted to talk to Mike about Kevin, about the idea of a relationship. He’d be the perfect person to confide in. Besides, he was someone who helped people all the time.
If only Mike could help me sort out my emotions.
Was she falling for Kevin too fast? Was she being naïve to think that love could happen after only a few dates?
She paused.
I’m a user. That’s what I am. I want to use my friend, my sweet, kind friend.
She paused again.
But that’s just it, Mike and I are only friends. All the romantic stuff was in my head. I didn’t lead him on, did I?
She did a quick file check on their conversations. No, they never discussed anything that went beyond the boundaries of friendship. So she didn’t have to feel bad about Kevin being in her life, just about the fact that she’d lied to Mike. She’d also failed to show on Saturday. Big apology for that too.
She climbed into bed, pulled the cover close, and reached out for Charlie Bear. Since childhood, the stuffed animal had been a steady presence who listened attentively. “Charlie, what’s it all mean? First there’s Mike, and now Kevin. All this time without a relationship, and now I have two, really great guys come into my life. I thought I liked Mike, but—”
After a moment, with Charlie staring back with little to say, Carol’s eyes strayed. They followed patterns on the wall as the moonlight and wind played with the tree outside her window. Its shadowy limbs became dark performers, leaping about, dancing with life. She smiled as they prompted answers that brightened her mood.
Perhaps Mike was a warm up for the real thing, just a shadow of what I want. But Kevin is real, tangible. When he touches me—
She didn’t want to hurt Mike’s feelings, but their relationship wasn’t what she needed. They could talk forever, but it wasn’t the same as someone being there in the flesh. Just the thought of Kevin made little chills race through her body. When he held her close and kissed her the first time, she felt like the princess in Sleeping Beauty.
“He woke me up, Charlie. Now I want to stay awake. I want Kevin to be my prince. That’s not wrong, is it?”
She put the bear back in his spot on the adjoining pillow and turned out the light. “When I talk to Mike tomorrow, I’ll straighten everything out.”
Seventeen
AREL'S OFFICE WAS quiet, even peaceful. His voice was a whisper, but it was a determined whisper. “I can do this.” As his jerky fingers tapped keys on the keyboard, as he connected to the chat room, he had to be brave. He was preparing for his showdown with Carol.
But his destination wasn’t just a chat room. In the past, it had been the castle where he met with the fair damsel, Carol. It was the place where, in Carol’s eyes, he performed valiant deeds. Maybe that’s how the idea of acting like a suicide hotline volunteer got started. If Carol thought that he saved lives, she might be more inclined to see him in a favorable light. Who didn’t love a champion?
But there’d be no wonderful roles for him to play this time. As he watched the monitor screen and noted that he was logged in, the castle was replaced by a dark room, brightened in the center with one harsh, glaring light. The light was aimed at him, demanding that he expose his lies, his shortcomings. When he did, he’d no longer be Mike the wonder boy. He’d be Arel the scoundrel.
Arel had asked Michael not to attend the chat session. He had to have the courage to face Carol alone, especially after heari
ng Michael’s suggestions. Still, he pulled back sharply when he saw two letters appear on his screen. They were an ‘H’ and an ‘i’, letters in a friendly greeting. But in reality, he knew what they were really telling him. “Confess, you bastard!”
Gritting his teeth, preparing himself for the worst, he forced himself to do his duty. “Hi, Carol, before we talk, I have to tell you something,” he typed back. For a moment his fingers stilled. He was intent on proceeding, but he needed to take a deep breath first. He didn’t get the chance. There was an immediate response from Carol.
“Before you do, I have something I have to say! I lied to you, Mike.”
He stared at the screen and the words Carol had written, but he couldn’t make any sense of what they meant. The idea of Carol being deceitful was so unexpected that he was stopped in his confessional tracks.
What? You lied? You’ve always been so sweet.
“What do you mean?” he typed back.
“Mike, I’m sorry. It was only the one time. I told you that I was with my sister who was having a baby. But the truth is that I don’t have a sister. I lied to you because I didn’t know how to explain the truth.”
He frowned as he saw himself stepping out of the glaring light and putting Carol in his place.
“You only lied once?” he typed, slowing his breath. “What couldn’t you tell me?”
Carol continued. “Before I explain, would you please try to forgive me for the lie and for not showing up on Saturday? I value our friendship. The time we’ve had online has been great.”
He blinked at her message.
Yes, it has been great, but why does that sound so lame to me?
His fingers pressed on. “I feel the same way. And ‘yes’ the answer is ‘yes.’ I can forgive you. One tiny lie? That’s not so serious.”
He was lying again. Forgiving Carol was tough. If he had to forgive her, it meant that there was a blemish on her halo. He didn’t want that. He wanted her to be that beautiful woman, that perfect person he could look up to in the castle window.
