“Stop crying now, Lil.” My voice is soothing and I pick at her damp curls with my fingertips. “You just scared us. That’s all. It looked like you were bleeding.”
“I just wanted to squeeze them. I didn’t know they would pop.” Her little body tenses against me, and her chin dips. “Gigi thinks I’m a bad girl.”
I don’t say what I’m thinking. Gigi thinks everybody’s a bad girl.
Instead I give her a little hug. “She does not. She’s your grandmother. She thinks you poop roses.”
That turns the tears into giggles, at least for a moment. “Daddy won’t get me a puppy now. I’m not re-sponsible.”
She says the word slowly, as if she’s sounding it out, and my lips press into a frown. “I think your daddy might have forgotten about the puppy. I’ll remind him to think about it tomorrow.”
“No! Don’t remind him tomorrow. Wait til Saturday.”
I suppose when you’re four, one day makes a big difference. Too bad it’s not that way for grown-ups. “Okay, I’ll wait. Now you have school tomorrow. We need to sleep.”
She’s quiet, and I continue playing with her soft curls, tracing my finger along her arm. My heart hurts thinking what I have to do. It’s the first time in the three weeks I’ve been here she’s actually needed me in the night. Now I have to leave her.
I can’t help feeling like I’m abandoning her to the Wicked Witch of the West. Only… I guess the witch has been evicted. I wonder if Remi realizes what he’s done. I fall asleep with a frown on my face, and by morning, Lillie’s foot is under my chin, and I’m lying diagonally in the bed.
It’s hard to believe I started the night blissed out in Remi’s arms.
“Come on, butter bean. Time to get moving.” I pick up the sleeping Lillie and carry her to her bedroom.
She lets out a little whine, but I get her started brushing her teeth. Then I lay out a cute little sack dress and leggings on her bare mattress. No sign of ketchup anywhere. Remi must have carried all the sheets downstairs after I took her to bed.
When we arrive in the kitchen, Lillie and I are both dressed for the day, and I’m surprised to see a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast waiting on the bar. Glancing around, I don’t see anyone in the living room or the patio. I can’t imagine Eleanor did this. She was shooting fire from her nostrils last night. Dragon lady… Stephen was right.
I scoop breakfast onto a plate for Lillie and put a mug in the Keurig before walking down the narrow hall to the laundry room. “Eat up, Lil. I’ll just check on your sheets.”
Rounding the corner, I almost bump straight into Remi, who’s holding a bottle of Spray and Wash and looking confused.
“Hey! Did you make breakfast?” I don’t know why I feel awkward around him. After all we’ve shared, you’d think I’d start being comfortable.
Maybe the problem is all we’ve shared.
“Yeah, is it still warm? I wasn’t sure how much sleep you got after last night.” He seems worried, like it’s not my job to take care of Lillie.
“I managed to get a few more hours. You?”
“Nah, I was pretty much done for after that.” He returns to the bottle. “You said the sheets were probably ruined. I’m afraid you might be right. I treated them with this last night, but I can’t tell if it’s making much of a difference.”
“Don’t tell me you know your way around a laundry room.” Teasing helps me relax a little.
I step around him to look at the white sheets covered in tiny drawings of a mermaid princess riding a unicorn.
“I’d hate for her to lose these. Do you remember where you got them? Maybe I could order her some more.”
“No clue. I can check with Eleanor.”
Glancing up at the clock, I pat his shoulder. “Let me know. I’ve got to take off or she’ll be late for school. Just leave these. I’ll tend to them when I get back. Maybe bleach will work.”
Lillie is buckled in her booster chair in the backseat, and she sings all the way to school. I glance at her happy face in the mirror and shake my head thinking how quickly trouble is forgotten when you’re four. I bypass the car line like always, parking instead in the lot and sweeping her out of the backseat.
Today I’m wearing a calf-length tweed skirt with a black tee that says “What’s Your Dream?” in white on the front. My hair is wrapped in a messy, low bun, and I carry Lillie’s backpack along with my square leather purse on my arm. Executive nanny.
I’m surprised to see a cluster of moms in the hall outside Terry’s class today. It’s Friday, and I try to remember if the kids have a party I forgot… I don’t remember anything, but it is the first day I’ve been here since Monday.
Shit. I chew my lip, hoping I haven’t forgotten to bring something.
“Well, look who’s back from the big city.” Serena’s voice is sharp as glass, but I don’t acknowledge her.
Leaning down, I give Lillie a hug and a kiss before sending her into class. “Say hi to purple monster number four for me.”
She takes off running. I hang her little backpack on a hook inside the door and give her teacher a wave before heading back into the hall where the bitch patrol is waiting.
Serena stands expectantly after her jab. I don’t know what she’s getting at with her statement or how she even knows where I was, and I’m not interested in finding out.
“Good morning, Serena.” I speak quickly, doing my best to make my way around them and not engage.
“I noticed Eleanor bringing Lillie to school these last few days. I thought you’d finally turned in your resignation. Seems I was wrong.” Her tone is like nails on a chalkboard. “Seems somebody got herself a promotion.”
“I accompanied Remi on a business trip, not that it’s any of your concern. He needed a plus one.”
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Anita Flagstaff places her hand on her chest—I’m sure to put her Birkin bag on full display. “Seems not too long ago they simply called it an escort.”
“I suppose it’s the same deal. He pays her. She provides the service.” Serena turns her back to me, but she’s speaking loud enough for me to hear. “If Phillip thinks he’s hiring a nanny like that, he’s got another thing coming.”
Sarcasm drips from her tone when she says the words, and a bitter taste fills my mouth. My throat goes dry, and I’m worried I might gag. For the first time, instead of blushing beet red, I feel the blood rushing from my face, as if a spotlight was shined straight on me, and I was standing in front of them all butt naked.
I don’t speak. I simply walk fast toward the door.
Serena calls after me, something about how changing names and labels doesn’t change the meaning. I walk faster. My vision blurs, but I order myself not to cry. I will not let her get to me ever again.
Driving home, I can barely see the road for the tears blurring my vision. First Eleanor, now those bitches. God, it’s all over the whole fucking town. Everyone knows I went with him to New York. How can I possibly deny what’s happening between us? Clearly the monster-in-law isn’t keeping her big mouth shut.
Leaving Lillie stabs at my heart like knives, but somehow, the thought of leaving Remi hurts even worse. Pain radiates across my shoulder blades, and I almost have to pull over. I’m so close to the house or I would.
Lifting my cell, I tap Marsha Magee’s number. She answers at once, and I quickly work out the details of moving into her small rental house this weekend.
My next call is to Drew.
“Hey, Cinderella! How’d it go at the ball? I want to hear all about it. Don’t leave out a single detail.”
I blink and rivers of tears coat my cheeks. I swallow, but my voice wavers. “You think Gray might be able to help me move this weekend? I need a truck.”
Drew’s tone changes at once. “Ruby! Are you okay? It sounds like you’re crying. What happened? Talk to me.”
“I will. I just can’t do it right now.” Blinking up to the sky, I try to get contr
ol of myself. “I just need you to help me get settled, help me get my bed and furniture from Ma’s. Then I’ll tell you everything.”
“We’ll be there.”
28
Remi
Ruby takes longer than I expect to get home. I’m pacing in my office, chewing my thumb when I hear the front door open. Dashing out onto the landing, my stomach tightens when I see her face. She looks different, like she’s been crying.
“Ruby?” She blinks up at me as if I startled her, and I gentle my tone. “Hey, sorry. Would you mind coming up here for a minute?”
She’s dressed in business attire, a green leather purse on her arm, and she hurries up the stairs, looking so professional. Taking care of my daughter is demanding and important work. Still, I can’t help knowing Ruby could do anything she wants. She’s smart and capable and so pretty.
When she enters the large space, I motion for her to follow me to where a sofa and chairs are arranged. I envisioned this being a conference area of sorts, should I have any potential clients to the house.
She doesn’t waste any time. “Remi, we need to talk.”
“First.” I take the long business envelope off my desk. “It’s the first time I’ve been able to give this to you in person and thank you. After last night—”
“What…” Her voice fades out as she takes the envelope and looks inside.
I’m standing back feeling pretty proud of myself. “I included a little extra to cover our trip to New York. I know you had to buy a dress and shoes… I’m sure there were expenses.”
“You added… cash.” The color drains from her face, and my feelings of pride fade along with it. “New York was just a business trip to you?”
A knot is in my throat, and I feel like I’ve misread something. “No… I mean, yes, it was a business trip, but—”
She interrupts me talking fast. “If anything, I would’ve expected you to pay me less for this week, considering we spent three days…” Her voice breaks off. “Doing what? What were we doing, Remi?”
Her eyes flash anger at me, but I see tears gathering in them. It’s like a knife plunged straight into my heart. Stepping forward, I try to gather her into my arms.
“No!” She pushes me away hard. “What was it? I want to know.”
She’s trembling and I don’t know what to say. New York started as a business trip… Hell, it was always because of business, but having her with me gave me the strength to believe again. She believes in me, and it makes me believe in myself.
She brought me back to life.
I try to find the right words to say. My insides are a hot mess of feelings and thoughts and details I have to sort out. It’s all a tangle in my head, and I realize now I’ve taken too long to answer her question.
Her hand goes up, and she pushes me away. “I don’t have time for any more men and their games. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of you.”
She throws the envelope at me, and I scoop it up, chasing after her, up the stairs to the third floor.
“Ruby, wait. I didn’t mean to insult you.” I follow her down the hall, and she’s moving fucking fast. “We talked about all of this before you came here, and you were fine with it. Hell, you seemed happy with the arrangement.”
“Yeah, I was.” She jerks open the drawers of her dresser and starts taking out her clothes. She tosses them on the bed and goes the closet, where she pulls out her suitcase.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m moving out. We discussed this last night.”
“Like hell we did.” Anger blazes in my chest, and I snatch the suitcase off her bed. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Her anger is back, flashing in her eyes. “Give me my suitcase.”
I relent and put it on her bed again. She immediately resumes throwing clothes in it.
“Why are you doing this? Aren’t you happy here?” It feels like a childish question, but I’m so fucking confused. I thought things were going great—better than great. I thought she cared about me. I thought she and I were on the verge of becoming something more.
“Am I happy here?” She stops slamming her clothes in the black case. “I was. Until people like Eleanor started calling me a whore. Until Serena North basically called me a high-class hooker in front of everybody at the preschool today.”
Fire roars in my chest. I didn’t know it was possible to feel this level of rage. “What did she say to you?” My jaw is clenched, and the words are more of a growl.
“Stop.” Ruby holds up her hands. “I would argue with them if I had a leg to stand on. As it is…” She shakes her head. “I’ve turned into exactly what they think I am.”
“You are nothing of the sort.” My voice is still growly. “I’ll shut every one of their stupid mouths. I’ll—”
“Remi…” Her voice is just below a shout. “Don’t you see they’re right?”
“I do not see they’re right. I don’t give a damn about those women or what they say or think.”
“But I do.”
I’m stunned by her quiet confession. “You do? But… Why?”
I’m confused and grasping at anything. I feel like my world is crumbling, and her mind is completely made up. I feel like she’s slammed an invisible door in my face and nothing I can say or do will get her to let me in.
I can’t make her stay, and it’s ripping out my heart. It’s tearing up my insides. I need her.
She resumes filling her suitcase, only slower. “I don’t care as much about me or my reputation. I care about my mom and how hard she works taking care of the seniors at church. I care about Lillie and the kids at preschool repeating what their parents say to her, or talking behind her back. She might not understand it now, but one day she will.” Ruby’s breath hiccups, and my heart breaks. “I care about you and what people say about you.”
“Fuck what they say.” I can’t stand this. “What can I do?”
“Nothing.” She puts the last of her folded clothes in the suitcase. “I’m moving out. That’s it.”
“You signed a contract. As Lillie’s nanny, you’re contractually obligated to live in this house.” I say it mostly as a joke, as a way to lighten the soul-crushing pain in my chest.
“I have to resign as Lillie’s nanny.”
“No…” It’s the final straw. I feel like she’s bringing me to my knees. “Lillie loves you.”
Her hands cover her face, and she nods quickly as her shoulders shake. When she speaks, her voice goes high. “I know.”
I can’t stand it anymore. I close the space between us, pulling her into my arms. “You can’t leave us. You have to stay.”
Her hands are on my arms at once, moving them away and stepping out of my embrace. “I’m sorry.” She clears her throat, getting her voice under control. “I’ll explain to her why I have to go.”
“What will you say?”
“I don’t know. I’ll think of something.”
“Ruby, please. Tell me what I can do to fix this.”
Her chin lifts, and her dark eyes meet mine. They’re so open and vulnerable, so deep and soulful. It breaks my heart. I wait for her to say anything, to tell me what she wants.
She waits a moment longer. Then she breaks our gaze.
“I’ll pick up Lillie from school. You can let Eleanor know I won’t be having dinner here tonight.”
29
Ruby
Life has a funny way of changing our plans.
Lillie had only been home five minutes before she went to the bathroom and immediately started wailing. I’d intended to tell her what was happening over lunch, now I’m in her pink bathroom holding her in my arms.
“Ruby!” She’s sobbing, and I cover my mouth and nose at the stench.
“Oh! Oh no.” It’s the best I’ve got.
Her little leggings and white undies are on the bathroom floor soiled.
“My butt threw up.” Her voice is so small and weak.
I grab the shower curtain, ripping it
open again. “It’s okay, baby. It’s going to be okay.”
My heart breaks a little bit when I see how miserable she is, knowing she had a shitty night’s sleep last night and knowing what’s coming. What I have to tell her.
It’ll have to wait.
“Here.” I help her wipe, feeling the fever radiating off her little body.
I quickly strip off my skirt and lift her into my arms, stepping into the shower as I hold her against my chest. Her little arms are around my neck, and she whimpers softly.
The water is warm and soothing, and I let it wash the filth away, using a washcloth to help with the bits I can’t see.
I stroke her hair as we stand under the spray. “It’s going to be okay, baby. Everything’s going to be okay.”
We stay in the water about a minute longer as I make sure I’ve gotten all the dirt off her bottom. Then I shut it off and grab a fluffy towel off the rack. Standing her in front of me, I dry her gently. Her hands are on my shoulders, and her eyes are closed. She’s flushed and feverish, and I wrap her up tight before carrying her into her bedroom.
She’s dressed and tucked in her bed, and I quickly gather her dirty things in the towel I used to dry her. I dash to my room and change clothes then start another load of laundry before I grab the ibuprofen, saltines, sprite, and a banana.
I’m just guessing over here.
When I make it back to her bedroom, she’s lying on her side, her big eyes hollow and tired. I help her up and give her a dose of children’s ibuprofen for the fever. Then I climb in beside her, cuddling her against my chest.
“Are any of your other friends feeling bad today?”
“Bunny wasn’t at school.” Her voice is slow and weak. “Louie said she has a bug. I thought he made her eat dirt when I wasn’t around. She lives by his house.”
“I think Louie meant she had a virus. Some people call viruses bugs. I don’t know why.”
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 83
