by Sage Sask
Ahead of me, Ryan and Gavin strip off their shirts and toss them far into the water’s breadth. They start running and dive in after them, swimming until they catch the shirts before they float away. Ryan squeezes the water out of his, along with Levi’s blood. He and Gavin walk in until they are neck deep. Ryan throws his head back until he’s nearly submerged in the water.
“You didn’t get anything?” Next to me, Samira watches those in the water. “No clue about what was going to happen inside?”
“No.” I don’t tell her that I understood they were going to attack. Because of my fear of discovery, both the boy and Levi got hurt. I failed all of them. “Nothing came through.”
“You have to try harder.” Samira drops her head but not before I see her pain. “We all have to try harder.” She pulls her shirt away from her body and then points to mine. “We’re covered in blood.”
Samira walks slowly into the water. Fully clothed, I follow her in until the water reaches my neckline. I slip it off then squeeze the water and blood out until there is a swirl of red around me. I drop my head back and let the water saturate my hair. I run my hands through it to wash off the dirt and grime from the ground. Only when the water runs clear, and there are no traces of blood left, do I stop.
I decided to save myself over helping Levi. I chose my life over his. I know I am at the Evaluation for one reason only, but what felt like an obvious decision to leave Levi now feels wrong. All around me are people who care for one another. They sacrifice for their friends and their team.
I was told by the man from the Resistance to prioritize my people over the Circle. After Ryan and Jackie’s betrayal, it seemed straightforward. Now the lines of loyalty are blurred, and I can’t differentiate the colors. They mix until all I can see is red — the color of Levi’s blood.
***
“The crystal,” Cassia says loud enough for all of us to hear. One by one, we arrive back at the camp after cleaning up. Cassia holds the crystal up, along with a sheet of paper. “Right there waiting. And it only came at the potential cost of Levi’s life,” Cassia says, disgusted.
The whole group falls quiet. No one celebrates the win. The loss of Levi hovers like the blade of a guillotine waiting to drop.
“Two lost in two days,” Phoenix murmurs. “At this rate, we’ll barely make it through the whole test.”
“No calls left,” Samira adds. With the test having only just begun, the odds are against us. “Without one, we can’t save the next person.”
I glance at my bag, where the phone Serafina gave me sits safely. As Serafina demanded, I don’t say a word, even as I wonder whether I should.
“Every year, we lose people.” Henry throws a small rock at the trees. His fury matches his tone. “Good people. Members that could have,” he pauses, “should have made it out.”
“It’s how it’s always been done,” Gavin says. “The test decides who belongs at the Circle.”
“And the ones who have died? Were they potential traitors who would have betrayed the Circle if they had lived?” Disgusted, Hudson says, “Sawyer, a traitor? Levi? Did they deserve what happened to them?”
“It’s a contest,” Cassia murmurs. One of the stronger ones, she rarely, if ever, complains. The fact that she is shows the depth of her disgust. “It’s a matter of luck, not worthiness. It’s not normal. It’s not right.”
“In the zones, there’s also a test at sixteen.” I can’t be sure my words will help, but something in me wants to try. “They use a machine to see if you have a genetic predisposition to harm others.”
“How does it work?” Samira asks.
“No one knows.” It was the explanation the government never bothered to detail.
“What happens if they decide you do have a genetic predisposition?” Henry asks.
“They take you away.” I can still see Kyle lying on the ground, unmoving and unresponsive. “Everyone assumes to your death.”
“Is that how you came here?” Gavin asks gently.
I glance at Ryan, who waits with the others for my answer. I quickly look away. “Yes. I failed the test. The ones who passed got to go home. It’s the same as this test.” I swallow then say, “They make the rules. We have to live by them.”
***
After stacking the logs for a fire and laying out our bags, we head back toward the water to catch fish. Hudson noticed some swimming further up the stream. The whole group travels together. After Levi, no one wants to be alone. There’s the hope that together, maybe, we are stronger.
We barely talk on the walk. The temperature drops as the sun starts to set. At the bank of the river, we continue almost half a mile from where we bathed. Just as Hudson said, we discover schools of fish swimming in the water.
“How do we catch them?” Shane asks. Unlike the first day on the island, there are no rocks to stand on. “If we go in the water, we scare them away.”
“We need a net of some kind,” Phoenix says.
We search the area but fail to find anything. “A shirt?” Gavin slips his off and holds the ends together. He slowly enters the water until he’s knee-deep. The movement sends the fish scattering. He stays statue still until the water settles around him. Slowly, he drops the shirt into the water until it hangs like a net. When a handful of fish swims by, Gavin yells, “Got them!”
“Not exactly,” Shane murmurs as three of the four fish slip out of the shirt and back into the water.
“It’s the best option we have.” Following Gavin’s lead, Ryan removes his shirt and takes a spot a few feet away. The other guys all do the same.
“I’m going to keep my shirt on,” Samira decides. “You guys got this.” Henry growls at her, which she laughs off. Her laughter peters off as the guys fail to catch any substantial number of fish. “If we don’t have enough food tonight, we’re going to have to use more of our packets. That chances us going into the next test weaker.”
A movement in the distance catches my eyes. “Is that…?” I walk past her for a better view. She follows me, and we both stare at the emerging group.
“Look who we found,” Samira calls out to the guys in the water. “Our archenemies.” She laughs and waves at Jackie, Derrick, and the rest of them.
Though tired and worn, their faces light up at the sight of us. Jackie’s gaze meets mine across the expanse, but neither of us acknowledges the other. Her glance shifts to Gavin, who remains in the water with his shirt off. Her face scrunches in confusion.
“What is he doing?” she shouts to no one in particular.
“Fishing,” Gavin answers. His face lights up with relief and happiness at seeing her.
“With your shirt?” Derrick asks.
“You have a better idea?” Henry asks.
“Yes.” Jackie holds up a stick with a long string on the end of it. “Fishing pole.”
“The fishing wire,” Cassia murmurs. There had been a roll of it in the accessory bins. “Would have been a good choice.”
“Yeah.” Samira sounds pained. “They’re going to eat well tonight. And every night after.”
The guys exit the water to join us on the bank. Together, we watch them drop their lines into the stream. David, looking overly pleased with their ability to fish, grins at us.
“Jerk,” Cassia murmurs.
“No chance anyone has fishing wire, right?” Ryan asks. He searches their group. His face relaxes the exact moment he spots Victoria then immediately tenses when he sees her face downcast.
“Sorry,” Cassia answers his question. “But no.”
“Right,” Ryan responds, his attention still on Victoria.
Similar to Ryan, Derrick’s gaze runs over our group. His lips thin out before he scans the area behind us. “Where’s Levi?” he shouts across the water.
Ryan shakes his head. “We had to use a call.”
&nbs
p; Everyone stops what they’re doing on his response. Anger, confusion, fear, and worry cross over their faces. Even David’s face jerks up.
“Is he going to make it?” David asks.
Ryan nods but barely. “He was still alive when they took him.”
David nods, but his face shows his concern. Melanie’s hand starts to shake. Cameron wraps an arm around her. He says something to her, and she nods her head. She glances at Shane who gives her a thumbs up.
“What about you guys?” Ryan asks. “Everyone good?”
“So far,” Derrick answers. For all intents and purposes, Derrick feels like the leader of the group.
“Venue one,” David says as if that’s explanation enough. Victoria’s face hardens, and she turns away.
“Did you get any?” Jackie asks, breaking the silence. She points toward Gavin’s sopping wet shirt.
Gavin proudly opens it to show off three tiny fish. “A feast.”
“For a newborn,” Jackie returns. Gavin blushes but smiles. Just like that, they are back to their usual selves.
“You guys don’t have any wire?” David gives me a withering glance. “Shiny New Penny, you didn’t see that you would need some? Tsk, tsk — such a disappointment.”
“If you were perfect, you could point fingers,” Jackie says to him. “Since you’re not, shut up.”
“Someone feeling guilty for throwing their friend under the bus?” David muses. The group falls silent. They glance at Jackie then me. I look away to avoid their searching gazes.
“Hey, mate.” Gavin’s face is a picture of calm fury. “You heard her, so how about shutting the hell up?”
“Really, Gavin?” David crosses his arms and widens his stance as he sizes up Gavin. “You sure you want to jump into the fray? You might get hurt. Or are you feeling brave because of the water between us?”
Gavin straightens up. “Nothing is stopping you from coming in here.”
David drops his pole and starts to head into the water. Derrick throws his arms out to hold him back. “Come on guys, enough.” Derrick cuts in between. “We’re all in this together.”
“No,” David says. “We’re not.” He grabs Victoria’s hand and heads back toward camp. Ryan’s eyes follow them until they are out of sight. The same disappointment and frustration from before shadows his face.
“You’re right, Derrick,” Jackie says after they leave. “We are in this together.” She wraps the wire around her fishing pole then tosses it over the water toward us. Gavin catches it with one hand.
“Are you sure?” Gavin asks, holding on to the pole like a prize.
“Yes,” Jackie says just as Cameron follows her lead and tosses his to Cassia. “We have more than enough over here.” She points to the other fishing poles. Melanie does the same. “Now we’re even.”
Ryan glances at the pole. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes,” Jackie says, “we did.”
We spend the next hour fishing across the river from each other. Gavin and Jackie continue to tease one another over the roar of the water. Melanie and Shane make faces at each other and make jokes that leave the rest of us laughing. Both groups get enough fish to eat full meals. When it starts to get dark, I stand on the edge, watching, as everyone waves goodbye. Though the water forced us to remain separate, everyone’s spirits are lifted as if we were standing together.
When everyone starts to head back toward camp, I hear my name called. I turn back to see Derrick standing on the water’s edge as the rest of his group leave.
“Yeah?” I ask, surprised.
“I’m glad you’re OK,” he throws out. “Keep it up.”
“I’m glad you’re OK too. Until next time?”
“Until next time.”
When I turn to join the others, I catch Ryan watching us. He had been waiting for me. Without a word, he leads us back to camp.
FORTY-FIVE
The next morning we gather around Ryan to review the paper Cassia found. It gives us the longitude and latitude of the location without specifics.
“It must be our next test,” Ryan says. He points to a ridge on the map.
“There are two routes,” Cassia says. “One over a river and the other around it.” She measures the distance with her fingers for an approximation. “The route over the river is shorter.”
“But could be more treacherous,” Henry adds. “The longer route is through fields.”
“The river could be ankle-deep,” Samira argues.
“The fields make more sense,” Shane says. “The river changes sizes.” He points to the image on the map. “That’s rushing water. Do we take the chance?”
Ryan takes a vote of the agents. They split evenly. “Readers, we need your input.”
I hesitate. After Levi, I feel more comfortable on the fringe, away from anything that decides their fate. Gavin votes for the fields, as does Shane. But Hudson and Phoenix vote for the river. Liana refuses to vote.
“Alexia,” Ryan says. “You’re the tiebreaker. Do you have a vote?”
With nothing to read, I shut my eyes for a feeling, but all I see is emptiness and darkness. Frustrated, I take a guess. “River makes the most sense.”
Ryan narrows his eyes but accepts my vote. “River it is. Let’s get going.”
“Gavin,” I say as the others get ready. “I’m not sure. Maybe the fields would have been better.”
“When we don’t have a definite answer, the best thing to do is go with our gut,” Gavin answers. “If we can’t trust that, then our gifts are for nothing.”
“But majority can’t rule,” I argue. “We could be wrong.”
“Or you could be right,” Gavin says. “When reading, we don’t know anything for sure. Our visions are the best guidance we have. Trust yourself.”
He moves away to gather his things. I yearn to tell him I cannot trust myself, and he shouldn’t trust me. I imagine admitting that I failed Levi in hopes of saving myself. But then I would have to explain my real reason, so silence becomes my safety and my choice.
As we walk, a light breeze in the air changes into a high wind. We pull out extra layers of tops and slip them on. With the increased wind, the temperature starts to drop.
“Keep an eye on each other.” Henry holds out a hand to Phoenix when we reach a rocky hill filled with crumbling stones.
I grasp jutting rocks to keep my balance. I barely keep from slipping on a rock covered in condensation. Once on top, we follow Cassia and Ryan through a path filled with dense vegetation. We strike at it with our axes until a bridge comes into view. We get closer to find it’s nothing more than a series of frayed ropes with wood planks and rusted nails held together.
“That’s it?” Shane asks, dumbfounded.
“We could turn back,” Samira murmurs. “Take the field’s route.”
“That would take us through nightfall. Plus the rocks only get steeper and the river wider as we move further down.” Henry points to the map that shows the river dividing the land. Beneath us, the river rages over rocks as it carries branches and sediment along with it.
Ryan studies the map and then the bridge. “We don’t have a choice but to cross it. One after the other.” Ryan grabs the edge of the bridge and shakes it. “It doesn’t look strong enough to hold all of us.” When there are murmurs of agreement, he offers, “I’ll go last, in case it starts to fray.”
“And I’ll go first to test it,” Cassia offers.
Everyone starts to raise their hands. No one tries to guarantee their safety by their choice. Instead, their decisions are based on trying to do the right thing.
“You didn’t call out your number,” Gavin says to me. “You’re right before Ryan by default.”
I am barely listening. “The wind is picking up.” My mind has shifted to high alert. Something in the air warns
me of danger, but I don’t have the experience to give it meaning or definition. Similar to a light that flickers when it overloads with electricity, it threatens to short circuit. “We need to move fast. The bridge may not hold.”
Cassia glances at me in question. Whatever she sees must scare her, because she says, “Let’s move now.”
Cassia places one foot on the bridge and grips both sides of the rope railing. She pushes down to test the strength. When it holds steady, she quickly crosses to the other side. One by one, everyone follows Cassia’s example of fast but cautious. With every footstep, there’s a creaking sound, but the bridge remains steady.
“You guys were worried for nothing,” Shane teases. He walks past me just as the wind starts to pick up speed and rock the bridge. His arm barely grazes my bare hand. The tingling begins as he takes the first step. The image slams into me as Shane starts his trek across.
The bridge starts to fray as the wind picks up speed. Shane slips then falls. He goes to stand when another wind tosses the bridge to the left. Shane slips through the opening in the ropes and falls to his death.
“No.” My voice has lost its sound. On autopilot, I step onto the bridge. My decision with Levi haunts my every move. I move forward, but Ryan grabs my arm.
“What are you doing?” he yells over the wind.
I yank my arm out of his, then tentatively take a few more steps so I am no longer in reach. The bridge groans under my added weight. I steady out then cup my hands over my mouth. “Shane, run!”
The wind picks up speed. The bridge sways like a rocking boat. Unable to hear me, Shane continues his trek across. Then, just as I saw, the bridge throws him to the other side. Needing to change his path, I rush across the bridge in the face of the wind’s fury.
The wind whips me from side to side as if mocking my belief that I am stronger. It toys with my hope that I am more than just another cog in the system. I am nothing but a girl from an orphanage. For all the years I was lost, why do I believe I can save him?
