by Sage Sask
“Your room. We moved you here from the infirmary a few days back,” he answers. “We’ve been monitoring you since.”
“Infirmary?” I open my eyes fully to find myself in my old room. An oversized hospital gown covers me. I gently move the lapels aside to see a large white bandage over a small part of my abdomen. “What happened?”
“You were shot.”
The memories hit me all at once. The night I took the antidote. The fight with David, then Ryan coming for me. “How long ago?”
“Two weeks. After the surgery, we put you in an induced coma to give your body time to heal.”
Two weeks? I start to ask more questions when my door opens. Serafina enters first, followed by Ryan. He glances at me briefly. From those few seconds, I try to get a read on his thoughts, but I come up empty.
“Just in time,” the doctor tells them. “I removed the IV. She needs some bed rest but otherwise will be fine.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” Serafina says. “Can you come back later for the equipment.” It’s not a question.
“The stitches are secure, but don’t do anything too strenuous,” the doctor cautions me before leaving.
I take a deep breath. With it, my wound aches. I finally face the two of them. “David?”
“Alive,” Serafina says, matter-of-fact. “In a wheelchair.”
I shut my eyes and drop my head. I’ve ruined his life. Everything he worked for is gone. I know to say sorry will never be enough. “The man in the boat?”
“He escaped.” Serafina watches me carefully as she asks, “How long have you known you were one of them?”
Ryan finally looks at me as he waits for my answer. “Before the Evaluation. I didn’t know any details. Only that they would come for me.”
“The day Blake came?” Serafina demands.
I nod. “I didn’t have any memories to match what he said, but he knew things about me.” My voice catches. “He promised me I would be reunited with my mother.”
“Julia?” Serafina asks, an edge in her voice.
“Yes.”
“Mia. I was there when your mother named you.” Serafina pauses. “Your blood opened the safe. Only three people in this world can. As her daughter, your DNA was enough.” Serafina doesn’t hide her surprise. “She put the serum in her daughter.”
“What?” Confused, I lay my hand over the bandage. “The serum? In me?”
“Yes.” Serafina’s eyes narrow, trying to decide whether I am telling the truth. “When they went in to remove the bullet, they found this.” She takes out a small plastic cup with a capsule inside. “It was slowly dripping the serum into your bloodstream.”
My scar. Everything I have learned about the serum and its effects slams into me. “My memories? It was the serum?”
“The loss of memories kept Victoria from getting an accurate reading of you. We had no way of knowing who you were when you didn’t.” Serafina shakes her head. “A brilliant plan by Julia.”
Everything around me feels like a movie screen, except this is not a vision of the past or the future. Instead, it is my reality. The truth of the lengths my mother was willing to go to get what she wanted.
The betrayal surrounds me like a tornado. I am stuck in the eye of it as it rages, destroying everything in its path. Grief slowly rises from my gut, traverses through my body, pounding at me from every angle.
“We gave you some of the antidote to counter the effects. Because of the pill you took, it was too much of a shock to your body. You had an adverse reaction to the antidote.”
“The coma?” Because of my mother…
“Enough time for your body to heal,” Serafina says.
“Why did you give it to me?” I whisper. “After what I did?”
Serafina gives me a sad smile. “We’re not the bad guys. No matter what Julia told you.” She pauses. “Why didn’t you take all the vials?”
I look away. “The patients in the Sanctuary need it.” I do not want to admit my concern for the Circle or my inability to choose one group of people over the other. My admission would prove me weak. Because of that weakness, I am here, paying for the choice I made. I have lost everything. “What happens now?”
“As a member of the Resistance, the government will want you. They will decide your fate.”
“They’ll kill me,” I whisper. Ryan flinches but remains silent.
Serafina starts to say something then stops. Finally, “I hope not, but that’s out of our hands.”
Serafina starts to leave, the decision determined. Refusing to be a victim of circumstance, I say, “I can help you find your son.”
Serafina’s gaze hardens. “What are you talking about?”
I hold out my hand where I had moved the ring. “He and I were raised as siblings. The symbols on the ring,” I pause, remembering my mother’s words, “are the key to her whereabouts. I think their meaning is embedded in my subconscious.” My gaze strays to the capsule. “With the serum out, I hope my memories will return.”
Serafina picks up my hand to inspect the ring. She turns it over, examining each symbol. On her touch, the vision hits me.
“Your father?” Julia holds up a picture “This woman killed him.”
I close my eyes, trying to hide my reaction. The vision blurs then becomes clear — all as fast as the breath I take.
Julia turns the picture toward me. The woman I’m staring at is Serafina. “You must get your revenge,” Julia says, “for your father’s murder.”
Serafina releases my hand. With the loss of contact, the vision fades. I recalibrate to find my footing without revealing what I’ve learned. As I refocus, I see the desperation Serafina tries to hide. Finally, she nods.
“It looks like you just bought yourself more time at the Circle.” Serafina glances at Ryan. “Consider yourself our prisoner, and Ryan your jailer.”
SIXTY-EIGHT
Ryan and I watch as Serafina leaves. In the silence, I can hear the ocean lapping against the shore. It is a replay of every other morning, except now they know the truth of who I am.
I steal a glance at Ryan, wondering who will break the silence. As I move to lie back, rockets of pain burst through my body. I imagine telling him I’m sorry, that I never meant to hurt anyone. That mine was an impossible choice. But none of the words make it past my throat as I imagine his hatred and utter disgust.
“Why?” He breaks the silence first. His gaze holds mine. “You could have been killed.”
It was the last question I was expecting. If I am honest, I tell him there was no other option. The decision was made as soon as the man pulled out the gun.
“Because I couldn’t let you die,” I say quietly.
He winces at my words, his pain evident. The words we refuse to say to one another linger in the air between us. I have no definition for my feelings. No compartment to place them in that would make sense. He belongs to someone else. I am nothing more than a job, an assignment. But regardless of my explanations, I would never have allowed him to lose his life for me.
“Are you all right? What the man said about your mother?” I have no idea how to navigate this road we are on. Without any rules or signs, I am lost.
He drops his gaze to the ground. He swallows. “I haven’t spoken to Harrison about it.” He laughs, but it’s broken. “Whether she left because of him, because of me…” He pauses, and I see his pain.
“I don’t know the Resistance,” I start then stop when my voice breaks. “I know I’m one of them, but I promise you my memories are limited, broken.” He waits patiently, giving me the time to gather my words. “But the man was lying.”
“Why do you think that?”
His face tells me my answer matters. “Because you’re not like your father, so you must be like your mother. And if you are, then she would never have left you purposely
behind. That’s not who you are, so that can’t be who she is.”
He swallows as he struggles with his emotions. “Are you all right? About your mom?”
I barely shake my head no. “I don’t know how to be.” We are both paying for our parents’ decisions. Broken, we can do nothing but watch the game play out. “I never meant to hurt anyone.” My explanation is weak. I am now a pariah for having betrayed all of them. But something in me demands I try. At least with him. “I’m sorry I did.”
He glances at the capsule on the desk that Serafina has left behind as a reminder of what I did and who I am. “You should get some rest.”
“Did you know?” I have to ask. “About any of this?”
“No.” He pauses before admitting, “Victoria had a sense. No details. Just when you came, she was scared.”
You make him choose. Her words the night we met in front of the Sanctuary. It all makes sense. Why she and David hated me. David requesting lead agent so he could train me instead of Ryan. All of them desperate acts to keep Ryan away from me.
In the silence, Ryan turns toward the door. His back to me, he slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out the key. He lays it next to the capsule on my desk.
“Why?” I breathe.
He turns, his gaze locked on me. “You know why,” he says, shocking me. “I understand whatever decision you make.” He walks out without another word.
I fight the tears that threaten. Though bound by his roles and responsibilities, he is offering me the freedom to leave. He will not keep me prisoner.
His footsteps echo down the corridor as he heads to his room. His door opens then closes. I lie in bed, replaying all the events of the last few weeks and months. With a shaking hand, I cover the bandage over my scar where the serum spilled into me. My mother poisoned me for her gain. I was nothing but a means to an end.
Yet, I can feel my mother’s pain and heartbreak when she showed me Serafina’s picture — the woman who killed my father. Carefully I move my legs off the bed. With one hand over my abdomen to ease the pain of movement, I slowly stand. I test my strength as I take one step and then another. Breathing through my nose in spurts, I clench my teeth to ease the hurt. The five steps it takes to get from my bed to the desk feel like a marathon.
I pick up the plastic vial and stare at the capsule. Small, inconsequential, and yet it changed my whole life. It took away my memories and left me adrift in the ocean without an anchor. I was made both accomplice and victim with one act. I set it down then pick up the key.
Freedom. With it, I can escape in the night. Somehow I can find my way off the Circle. I would be free of everything and everyone. Beholden to no one. I wrap my fingers around the cold metal. Flashes of my vision come to mind. Serafina killed my father. I close my eyes and think of the Circle, the people I have met and betrayed…Ryan.
With broken strides, I reach the door. I slip the key into the hole. With a twist of my wrist, I turn it and lock myself in.
BOOK TWO
COMING SOON
Check
www.SageSask.com
for more Details
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sage Sask is the pseudonym for USA Today, Washington Post and Amazon Charts Bestselling author Sejal Badani and team of young adult writers who are the creative force behind the story concepts, editing, social media, marketing, and book trailers for the novel.
More information can be found at sagesask.com.
