by AC Netzel
“I donate the random coins I find to the Alzheimer’s Foundation, in memory of my grandfather.”
“That’s very sweet.”
“He couldn’t remember any of my family members by the end of his illness, but he remembered fine details about his coins. Funny the way the mind works.”
We turn the corner on to Leroy Street. My heart sinks a little; we’re almost home.
“I was thinking of calling you,” he says.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I didn’t know if you’d want to see me again….socially.”
“Oh.” Nervously, I look down to the sidewalk.
“Would you?”
“We work together. I edit your work. I’m supposed to be impartial. I don’t know if I could remain impartial if we had a personal relationship.”
“I could always stop writing.”
I shake my head and laugh. “No, you’re too talented.”
“I could switch publishing houses.”
“No, Vivian would fire me.”
“Okay, we’ll do it your way, strictly business.”
“I guess so.” God, I’m an idiot.
“Might have been fun,” he says flirtingly, running a knuckle down my forearm.
“I guess we’ll never know.”
“I guess not.”
“Can I ask you something personal?” This has been bugging me since we left Marcello’s.
“Sure,” he says.
“Is Camille one of your…casual relationships?”
“A long time ago,” he answers bluntly.
“Because you don’t do serious relationships.”
“You remembered.” He smiles. “We’re just friends now.”
“I see.”
He cocks his head to the side and frowns. “Why did you want to know?”
“I don’t know. Just wondering, I guess.” And she was shooting me her death stare all during your photo shoot.
We reach the front door of my building and stop. That went fast, much too fast.
“So,” I say.
“So.”
“Thank you for walking me home.”
“It was my pleasure.” He takes my hand and sweetly kisses the back of it.
I put my key in the door, turning it until I hear the lock click and unlock. I turn back to Ben. He’s so close to me, we’re practically touching. He smells so good, it’s intoxicating.
“I like your hair like this.” He reaches out and lightly runs his fingers through a few wavy strands. My breath hitches and I briefly close my eyes at his touch. I feel that pull, the energy that crackles between us, it’s so powerful I can almost touch it. I know he feels it too. My eyes focus on his mouth. Oh, those perfect lips
“Thank you again,” I mutter.
He looks at me intensely, his gaze darkening. He runs his index finger down my cheek then lightly traces my lips with his fingertip. My lips slightly part, as I close my eyes and hold in a breath.
He grabs my face with both hands, tilting it up toward him and covers my mouth with a hungry kiss. I respond back immediately, running my hands up his chest until they’re around his neck matching his fervor. His tongue slides into my mouth, twined with mine, dancing, inciting a salacious moan from him. He’s pressing his hips against me, holding me tightly against the door. The feel of his body against mine has every nerve ending in my body tingling.
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that,” he breathes as he leans his forehead into mine.
I nod, still breathless. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss Ben. Now that I know, I wish I didn’t. It’s better than I could have possibly imagined.
I peek up at him. I know he’s sincere in his apology. This is the moment where I usually have the good Julia in angelic white on one shoulder and bad Julia in slutty red on the other whispering in either ear, confusing the hell out of me. I shoo them both away and for the first time in my life, I stop thinking and live in the moment.
“Ben?” I murmur as I lift my hand to his hair and sweep it off his forehead.
“I’m sorry, Julia.”
“Just shut the fuck up.” I grab his leather jacket, pulling him close to me, and kiss him. Hard.
Chapter 5
I pull away from Ben, panting. Our eyes fixated on each other, like lions ready to pounce. He swings me over to the side of the doorway and with his free hand turns the door knob, opening the door. Grabbing my hand, he pulls me into the building, closing the door behind him with his foot. He grips the top of my shoulders and pushes me against the wall of the small common area.
He kisses me hard, grinding his pelvis into me. Holy Shit! I realize we’re getting it on in a very public area and reluctantly know what I have to do.
“Ben, we have to stop. We’re putting on a show.”
“What floor is your apartment on?”
“Third.”
“Elevator?”
“Yes.” I take his hand, drag him over to the elevator doors and push the call button. He presses me against the wall while we wait, nuzzling into the crook of my neck with light kisses. His stubble is rubbing up against my jawline. God, I love his stubble. I inhale his Benessence and I know I’m a goner.
The elevator pings and the doors slide open. We step into the elevator, our gazes locked on each other. Ben is on one side, leaning against the wall. I’m leaning on the wall facing him. He pushes the button for the third floor and the doors close. That magnetic pull is in the air, drawing us together. It’s so strong; I can almost touch it. The taste of Ben’s kiss has only increased my appetite for him. I run my index finger lightly across my bottom lip. He swallows as he’s watching me. Every single molecule of my body wants him, desperately. I can tell he has a million things going on in his head right now, and we’re naked in all of them.
The elevator doors open, I take his hand and lead him to my apartment. As I turn to unlock my door, he kisses my neck from behind me. Sweet mother of all things holy. As I’m turning the knob, he puts his hand against the door, preventing me from opening it.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks.
“I’m not sure about anything. Come.” I grab his hand, push the door open and pull him inside my apartment.
Once we’re inside, we’re all hands and tongues. He peels my coat down my shoulders as I shimmy out of it, unceremoniously dropping it on the floor. He shimmies his arms out of his leather jacket and drops it.
What little restraint we may have had earlier has completely vanished. We are devouring each other. He grabs the small of my back, pulling me to his body. His erection is grinding into me as he kisses me. Hard.
He nuzzles my neck again, lightly nibbling on my earlobe…the pathway straight to my sex.
My mind momentarily drifts off as I try to remember if I shaved my legs this morning. I slip off my shoe and secretly run my foot up and down my calf. They’re smooth. Yes, thank fuck. That would have been a deal breaker for me. Glad I skipped the stockings today. I slip my shoe back on.
“Is your roommate home?” he pants.
“No, we’re alone.”
He nods into the crook of my neck. The next thing I know we’re standing in front of the couch. I have no idea how we managed to get here without me noticing. He playfully pushes me down on to the couch. I crawl back on my elbows to the arm of the couch until my body is lying across it, our eyes never breaking contact. He stands over me with a lascivious grin.
“You are so fucking hot,” he growls. He joins me on the couch; his body pressed against mine, supporting his weight on his forearms.
We’re kissing like our lives depended on it. Holy crap, this man can kiss. I wrap my legs around his. I should probably light a candle next time I go to church because the way he’s kissing me surely is a sin.
Wait. What am I doing? We shouldn’t be doing this. This is wrong.
“Ben, we need to stop. We work together. We shouldn’t do this.”
“I know you want me. And God knows I want you
.”
“Yes, but…” I say. He tilts my chin up, exposing my neck and kisses his way down. I groan…this is better than I imagined and we’re just making out on my couch. “Ben,” I protest half-heartily.
He stops kissing me and rolls on his side, his head resting in his hand with his elbow bent supporting him. “Julia, I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do. There’s something about you… I want you. You want me. Maybe we just need to get it out of our systems. Just once. This way we don’t wonder every time we see each other. Then we can move on.”
“That’s crazy.” So crazy it makes sense.
I’m not sure if it’s my libido guiding me to this insane notion or some misguided intellect, but at the moment, I don’t give a shit. I want him. I want him bad.
“We’ll satisfy our curiosity. No more wondering. It’s just sex.”
Just sex? I’ve never had just sex before. I’ve had sex, but it was always with my boyfriend and within the confines of the relationship I was in. I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want a relationship either. Maybe Ben is right. We just need to get each other out of our systems. Maybe once we do it, I’ll stop the daydreaming and I can get back to focusing on my career.
I can’t lie to myself anymore. I’m horny as hell for him. I mean, look at him. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with a man. Five months. What if I suck? I’d still have to work with Ben on occasion. How mortifying would that be?
I turn toward Ben, face him, hook one leg around him and pull him back on top of me. It’s a battle of the wills between my lusting body and my mind and there’s no doubt which one is going to win the war.
“Yes,” I whisper. This is insane. I know I shouldn’t do this, but I don’t care. I’ll regret it later. Right now I want this man, every single fucking inch of him.
“Bedroom?” he pants.
“Second door down the hall.”
He stands up from the couch, bends down and lifts me into his arms. My hands wrap around his neck as he carries me to my bedroom. Once we’re in my bedroom, he lowers me until my feet are back on the floor. I quickly open my nightstand drawer. I know there are some condom packets in the bottom of my drawer from back in the dark ages when I had sex. God knows, I don’t want Ben to meet BOB today. I discreetly dig out a condom packet and place it on top of my nightstand.
My hands go straight to his shirt buttons, as I’m rushing to undress him before I lose my nerve.
“Slow down, Julia. If I’m only going to have you once, we’re going to take our time.” He takes a step back and sits down on the bed. “Come here,” he murmurs.
I walk nervously in-between his legs.
“Give me your hands.”
I hold my hands out to him. He takes hold of my wrists, unbuttoning each sleeve cuff and lets them go.
“Unbutton your blouse,” he whispers, his eyes are fixed on mine, his pupils dilated.
I take a step back. One by one, I slowly unbutton my blouse. I don’t know how Ben does it, instead of the embarrassment I should feel undressing in front of this man, I feel sexy, desired.
I’m secretly thanking the Clean Laundry Gods for the fact that I washed my clothes this week. I’m wearing my good bra and panties and not my period week panties that I usually resort to when I’m too lazy to do the laundry.
He exhales a long breath, running his index finger under his bottom lip. He stands up and steps in front of me, his arousal evident by the bulge in his jeans. I look up at him. He lightly runs his fingertip down my neck to the lace neckline of my bra, tracing the tops of the cups, lightly brushing against my breasts. I inhale deeply, close my eyes and relish in his touch.
“Take off your shirt,” he orders.
Slowly, I slide each sleeve over my shoulder and down the length of my arm until my shirt is off and in a pile at our feet. I’m standing in front of Ben in just my white lace bra and pencil skirt, peeking up at him thru my lashes. He tilts my chin up with his index finger and looks into my eyes.
“You are stunning.”
I look down to the floor. No one has ever made me feel as sensual as I feel right now, and I still have most of my clothes on. At this moment, I know I will do anything he asks.
“Turn around, Julia.” His voice is soft and so, so sexy.
I oblige without hesitation. He unzips my skirt, sliding it down over my hips until it falls to the floor. I step out of it. He wraps his arms around me, placing his hands over my bra, his hands cupping my breasts through the lace, as his erection presses into my backside.
“I have pictured this since the first time we had dinner… my hands all over your incredible body. I couldn’t have imagined you’d look this fucking hot,” he whispers in my ear. I tilt my head back into his body, lifting my arms up, curling my fingers around the back of his neck. He slides his fingers down from the side of my breasts to my waist. He runs his hand across my stomach; his fingers barely gliding across the top of my panties. I’m tingling everywhere; the moisture between my legs is building.
He places his hands on my waist, turning me back around to face him.
“Take off your bra,” he murmurs.
Okay, I can do this. If I were on a beach in Europe, I’d be topless and it would be no big deal. They’re just breasts, right? I slide my bra straps down and then unclasp the hooks in the back. I hold my bra up against my breasts with my hands, take a deep breath, and drop it to the floor.
Ben is gazing at me, nodding appreciatively.
I swallow hard and find my voice. “I think it’s your turn. You’re wearing too much.”
“I’m all yours.” He opens his arms up wide with a lustful grin.
I have undressed Ben in my daydreams dozens of times. There’s no way I’m passing up this opportunity. Pushing aside the fact that I’m standing naked in front of him with the exception of my white lace panties and heels, I unbutton his shirt. His eyes occasionally peek at my breasts as he licks his lips. I know he’s itching to touch me but he’s resisting.
Carefully, I slide his shirt off his shoulders and it drops to the floor. I pull off his V neck undershirt. It’s blindingly white. How the hell does he get his whites so bright? Get a grip, that’s a question for another day.
I run my hands up and down his muscular chest, my fingernails making tiny circles on his small patch of chest hair. His skin is so warm; it’s everything I imagined it would be. I glide my hand over the V line that points the way straight to his erection straining against his jeans. I love that he wants me as badly as I want him.
“You look happy to be here,” I say softly, my eyes focused on the bulge in his pants.
“I think that’s apparent.” His voice is low and sultry.
I unbuckle his belt, then unbutton and unzip his jeans. Hoping that I can do this without looking too clumsy, I bend down to the floor, take off his shoes and socks and pull down his jeans as he steps out of them.
I stand back up. Our lustful gazes meet. He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He brushes his lips lightly against mine, kissing me. Our kiss deepens, our tongues entwined, dancing around each other. I don’t know how I’m still standing.
“I want to be inside you,” he whispers as he kisses my neck.
“Yes,” I breathe. I feel his smile against my neck. I know there is no turning back.
“Sit on the edge of the bed, Julia.”
I comply immediately. Ben bends down and takes off my shoes. He runs his hands up my legs and lightly pushes me down to the bed. I twist around until my head is on the pillow. He walks to the end of the bed and takes off his boxer briefs springing his erection free, proving the shoe size theory is correct. Big shoes, big Ben. I’m either going to have the time of my life riding it… or that massive boner is going to kill me. I’m willing to take the chance.
He crawls up the end of the bed beside me, hooks his fingers around my panties, slowly pulling them down my legs until I’m naked.
“You are fucking perf
ect,” he murmurs.
He lies down next to me, inhaling deeply at the crook of my neck and kissing it. He slides down my body, pressing delicate kisses against my skin as he descends to my breasts. He brushes his thumb against my nipple then takes it in his mouth, gently sucking it, circling it with the tip of his tongue. I take a deep breath and moan softly. My back arches up toward the ceiling. Oh, this is heavenly. He brushes his lips across one breast and then moves to the other; the prickly feel of his stubble is making my nerve endings hyper-sensitive. He takes my other nipple in his mouth and sucks on it, teasing it with his tongue, looking up at me with a wicked grin. I smile back at him. We’ve hardly begun and I already know this is going to be the best sex I’ll ever have.
Light, delicate kisses trail down my stomach, his tongue circling around my navel before continuing down. I feel the warmth of his breath against my skin. It’s driving me wild, sending tremors through my body. Lust is swimming through my veins. I’m want to drown in it. His tongue trails to my hipbone and he nibbles on it. My attempts to lie still are futile; as I quiver each time his lips touch my skin.
“Your skin is so soft,” he whispers.
He strokes my thigh with his hand, gently gliding it down to my calf. I savor the feel of his fingertips against my skin. He slips his hand back up over my stomach and glides it down my body until he’s cupping my sex. His fingers stroke the outside of my folds; then he slowly opens them and caresses me with slow circles around my clit. I tense, then melt. It’s a heady combination. With each luscious stroke, I’m getting closer and closer. He slides a finger inside me, in and out, in and out. I feel my body building up…and he stops. Dammit.
He works his way to the bottom of the bed, running his hand up my other leg; his fingertips expertly gliding up the inside of my thigh. He bends down and kisses the inside of my calf, his tongue running up the length of my leg. I didn’t think it was possible to get this wet. I’m practically dripping with anticipation. I look down and see his head where I imagined it the first time I saw him in the park…in-between my legs. Fuck, that’s sexy.
He inhales deeply and lingers at my throbbing sex, his gaze looking up at me, locked on mine as I look down at him. He’s teasing me, building the anticipation. And it’s working. He skims by my sex, passing it, kissing the inside of my other thigh. The bastard. His stubble is rubbing against my thigh; the friction is driving me wild. I want him. I don’t think I ever wanted anything so bad.
