by April Lust
We were silent as the sun finally crested the horizon, just tiny jets of light streaming across the lawn. It turned the sky perfect colors of pink as it rose, bringing with it an instant heat that broke through the chilly morning air. I continued to watch it, holding the mug in both my hands, and out of the corner of my eye, spying on Saber. He seemed just as engrossed, which made me feel even better about the whole thing.
The sunrise felt like it belonged to only us in that moment.
When it made its way completely up, I finally turned towards Saber and found that he was already staring at me. I smiled at him sweetly. “What are our plans for today?”
He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Any chance I can convince you to stay in?”
I laugh softly, breathily. “I could probably be persuaded.”
“Good. Then come here and let’s get started.”
I obliged, sliding out of my chair and going to him, sitting on his lap, where I felt that he’d already grown half hard beneath me. I leaned forward and planted a kiss to his full lips that quickly deteriorated to a passionate battle of tongues. His hand slipped up my thighs until he found my core, sliding along my lips until I was a mess of moans and heat. When his fingers entered me, I fell apart. I dragged his pants down and slid myself on top of him.
I rode him until we both came.
***
I kept my promise and we stayed inside for the rest of the day. I wasn’t complaining. We found plenty to do, most of it involving the two of us lounging around naked or mostly naked. We watched another of my movies, which he enjoyed, though I could tell once more that it was not the sort of movie he generally watched.
As it turned out, he didn’t spend a lot of time watching movies.
“It’s not really my thing,” he admitted to me a little sheepishly as we lounged on the floor, a quilt spread beneath us. It was warm enough that we didn’t need a fire, but we were splayed out in front of the fireplace just the same. It felt good.
“No?” I asked, tracing idle circles over his bare, rock hard chest. We were both naked and I was curled around his side, my leg thrown haphazardly across his middle. His cock was soft still, but I knew that it wouldn’t take much attention to bring it to life again. I resisted for now because I was more interested in what he had to say.
“No. Movies are about escaping. About getting away from the hard things in life, but you can’t really get out that way,” he explained thoughtfully, stroking my hair. “All it does is waste time and energy. You don’t put the same effort into your life—changing it or surviving it, either way—if you’re complacent, you know? If you want to really change things, you have to fight, and how can you do that if you’re lost in some movie that isn’t going to do anything about your life?”
I considered him and his words. I’d never thought of my movies—or any movies—that way before, but as he spoke, I sensed there was truth in them. Maybe not one hundred percent, but there was something there.
“You’re right,” I began slowly, working it out as I spoke. “Movies are about escapism. And I think it’s true, too, that you can’t become complacent. But you can’t expect people to fight twenty-four seven. At some point, they need a break. They need a bright spot in an otherwise bleak world.” I shrugged. “Maybe they can find that in a two-hour movie, even if it means they’ve got to go straight back to the real world afterwards.”
I glanced up to find that he was looking down at me. He wore a tender expression on his face, his lips pulled up into a sweet smile. “You’re unexpected, you know that?”
I laughed. “Oh? In a good way, I hope.”
“In the best way,” he promised, the swallowed my next words in a slow, lingering kiss.
We might have started something right then and there if it wasn’t for an intruding knock at the door. I asked him to ignore it, but the knocking only grew more insistent, and when a somewhat familiar voice came through the closed door, Saber let out a groan that was not in pleasure.
“Damnit. It’s Darren.”
“Darren? You think they’ve found something?” I asked him, dread and hope and disappointment all mingling together into one confusing ball.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” He stood and helped me up, though he looked longingly back at the quilt. “But I do know you’ve got to put something on. I’m not interested in letting Darren see you looking like that.”
He made a point of dragging his eyes over my naked body and I shivered as a flush of desire raced through me. “Right.”
He grabbed his sweats from the chair they’d gotten slung over and made his way to the door, glancing over his shoulder at me to check that I was near dressed. I even put on a pair of denim shorts that I’d had on earlier so that I’d be decent if Darren stayed longer than he had the day before.
Saber left the room then and answered the door. As I pulled his sweatshirt over my head, I heard the voices filter over to me. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I didn’t think they sounded happy.
Darren must not have anything, I thought, feeling sad—but also realizing with a spark of guilt that I wasn’t heartbroken. Although I wanted this guy caught, and fast, I didn’t want to give Saber up, and I was a little scared about what would happen to us once this guy was caught.
After a little while, the voices continuing but not coming farther into the house, I decided to go over and see what was going on.
Darren was standing in the doorway. He looked nervous and a little pale, like he wasn’t thrilled to be here. And Saber didn’t look much better. I could see the line of tension across his broad shoulders and the line his lips had formed.
No, definitely not happy.
“What’s going on?” I asked, coming to stand near Saber.
I saw Darren wince and was about to ask what that was about when Saber whirled around to face me. Something burning flashed in his eyes and then he cupped either of his hands around my cheeks. He pulled me against him, my body flushed along his. I blushed a little—Darren was standing right there after all—but didn’t pull away. He leaned his face down to mine, hesitated a fraction of an inch away, then closed the distance.
His lips crushed themselves against mine, devouring me until I thought that I might collapse beneath the weight of his passion. It was a kiss unlike any other, all-consuming and delicious. I trembled against him and wound my arms up around my neck, pulling him closer as I tried to force our bodies together until we might be only one person.
Then, just as suddenly as he’d done it, the kiss was over. He pulled away and pushed me back at the same time, his eyes searching my face as though trying to commit every detail to memory. Then he whispered a quiet, “I’m sorry, Renee. Darren’s going to stay and I’ll…” He broke off, like he didn’t know what he was supposed to say, but my heart kicked up a beat.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry? Why is Darren staying?”
But Saber only shook his head and turned to Darren. “You’d better take care of her.”
I frowned as Darren nodded solemnly. “You’ve got my word.”
Then, with a last lingering look back at me, Saber said, “I’m sorry,” again and left. I tried to go after him, calling for him to wait, to come back, but Darren caught me by the shoulders and shook his head.
“Ryder wants to talk to him,” was all he said by way of explaining.
“What the hell does that mean? About what?”
Darren shook his head. “You should really ask Ryder about all of that. I’m just a lackey. I don’t know anything.”
But even as Darren spoke, I knew he was lying. Whatever was going on, he didn’t want to be the one to tell me, but I could tell by the expression on his face and his tone of voice that he knew something. Maybe not the whole story, but he knew something.
The only reason I didn’t force it out of him right then and there was because I knew once Saber got back he’d explain it all to me.
This is nothing. He’s just going to figure things out with Ryder.
That kiss was full of passion and need, and some creeping part of my brain told me it tasted like goodbye. But that was ridiculous. He wouldn’t leave me, not after everything. Not now. No, whatever was so important that he had to go without telling me, he’d be back. This was all just to protect me.
I told myself that a thousand times, but it never completely erased the sense of foreboding that grew in the pit of my stomach.
He’ll come back.
Chapter Eighteen
Saber
I went to the shop to see Ryder, my expression grim. Darren hadn’t told me much, probably didn’t know all that much, but he’d told me that he was my replacement. That alone told me enough. It told me that I was being relieved of my duty—and there was only one thing that could have driven Ryder to that.
My only consolation was that at least Ryder had sent someone who I deemed a friend, loyal and true, who’d protect Renee when I couldn’t.
But I need to, I thought miserably, wondering how I was going to do that from the distance that was about to engulf us.
The shop was busy with members of the Fallen Souls. They were my buddies, my friends, hell, even my family, but today they were pointedly ignoring me. Not a single one so much as glanced my way. Maybe it was all in my head, but I felt as though they were putting deliberate distance between me and them.
Like I was an outsider.
I went to Ryder’s office, pausing outside the door. As soon as I stepped through, I knew things were going to be bad. The look on Darren’s face had told me that much at least. Screwing up my courage, I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
As soon as I stepped inside and Ryder got a look at me, I was blindsided. He crossed the length of the room in two strides and suddenly his fist was in my face. He slugged me with all that he was worth, catching me hard in the jaw. I heard a cracking noise and hoped it wasn’t anything too serious.
Stumbling back, I fell against the door frame to catch myself, my right hand going up to feel my face. I tasted blood, telling me that my lip was split and that I probably had a bloody nose. Wiping at it, I glanced over at Ryder, waiting for the next blow.
But it never came.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded in a roaring voice with eyes that flashed in anger. He didn’t wait for me to answer as he continued on with what would surely be a tirade. “Did you think you could get away with fucking my niece without me ever knowing? Did you think that I’d just roll over once you got into her panties and let you do as you pleased?”
I tried to interject, to tell him that I hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, but he wasn’t going to let me have a word in edgewise until he was finished. Not like he’d believe me anyway.
“How could you do this to me? You know what she means to me, and then you go over there and fuck her like she was just some chick? Some girl you could pick up at the bar and have your way with?”
At this I shook my head and forced my words out into the room. “She could never be just some girl!” Ryder looked at me sharply, his eyes narrowing angrily like a jungle cat stalking its prey, ready to pounce. But I kept going. “Look, I know this looks bad. I know that this seems like I just blatantly ignored everything you told me.” Ryder gave me a look that said silently, you think? But I ignored it. “But that isn’t what happened. I tried to stay away from her, but damnit, Ryder, when I held her…I didn’t just fuck her, you need to know that. I have honest feelings for her and I—”
“Shut up,” Ryder snapped, having heard enough. “You don’t know the first thing about my niece and you wouldn’t know the first thing about honest feelings. Are you fucking kidding me? Look at you. You wouldn’t know love or anything like it if it came up and kicked you in the cock.”
I opened my mouth about to argue, but Ryder gave me a murderous look and in the best interests of everyone present, I kept silent.
“You’re done, Saber,” he said evenly, working hard to keep himself calm, but the bite in his voice was unmistakable. “You’re no longer Renee’s bodyguard in any capacity, do you understand?”
I winced. Although I knew this had been coming, it was still a harsh blow. This had started out as a job that I couldn’t turn down—not because I didn’t want to, but because it just wasn’t an option. But things had changed since then. They had changed because I needed to be around to protect her, because I felt like she needed me. There was some psychopath out to get her and I didn’t care if she had a thousand bodyguards, I knew in my heart that I was the only one who could really protect her.
She wouldn’t let anyone else.
Which was why I found myself arguing. “I know why you’re doing this. I understand, but I’m asking you to reconsider.”
Ryder made a scoffing sound, turning away from me and going behind his desk as though to sit. But he couldn’t seem to settle down enough to sit, so he just stood there, hands clasped tightly behind his back, staring at the wall and grinding his teeth. “And why in the hell should I do that, Saber? So you can screw my niece some more?”
I gritted my teeth, sucking in a whistling breath between them in an effort to calm down. It didn’t work very well, but I forced myself to be calm anyway. If I wanted a shot at protecting Renee, I was going to have to keep it together.
“No. So I can protect her,” I countered, only barely keeping my voice even. “You can have Darren there to be an additional guard. Hell, have ten guys there, a hundred, I don’t care, but let me keep protecting her.”
His eyes swiveled to me, darkening as he stared me down menacingly. “Protecting her? Is that what you think you were doing? Protecting her?”
My shoulders tensed. My whole body felt ready for a fight, ready to go after Ryder and punch him until he bled. Not because I hadn’t considered him a friend and the best boss I’d ever had, but because I had the feeling that there was no way I could convince him that I had the right intentions when it came to Renee.
That, and I didn’t like the insinuation that what I was doing with Renee was somehow wrong.
It can’t be wrong when I feel like this for her, I thought, but had the common sense to keep it to myself.
Instead, I got out only one word, “Yes.”
For a long while, there was nothing but silence between the two of us. Ryder stared at me long and hard, thinking things over, considering me and all that I had done. He was my final judgement, and if he deemed me unworthy, there would be no appeal.
Finally, he said, “You’re done. Done being her bodyguard—and done being a Fallen Soul.”
My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. What? Surely I had misheard. But the tightness in my chest told me that I hadn’t. “You…you don’t mean that—”
“I do. I mean that you are stripped of your patch, Saber Monroe. I want you out of my club, out of my life—and out of Renee’s.”
My body was shaking with tension and shock. Out of the club? No longer an Angel? For the last ten years of my life, this was all I knew. These people had taken me in, shown me the ropes. They’d kept my nose clean and made sure that when things got bad, I wasn’t the one they threw under the bus. Solidarity. Family. This was the closest I’d ever had to either.
And now it was gone.
I shook my head. “I wish you wouldn’t do this, boss.”
“I’m not your boss anymore. I’m no one to you.”
The dark, grim look in his eyes told me that this was no joke. And he wasn’t going to change his mind. This was his final decision, no matter what I said or felt about the matter. I suddenly felt exhausted, my shoulders slumping. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I didn’t think it was stay away from Renee like he hoped.
I turned to go, but before I did, Ryder called back to me. Hope sprang in my chest because I was stupid and wanted to believe that I meant something to Ryder, no matter how pissed he was.
But when I looked back at him, the same hard expression remained and I knew that whatever else he needed to add wouldn
’t be good.
“There’s one last thing I need you to do, Saber,” he told me grimly.
Part of me wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. He just kicked me out of his club and forbid me from guarding Renee, what did I owe him at this point? But the rest of me remembered that until this moment, Ryder had been good to me. If there was a parting favor he wanted of me, I’d probably give it willingly.
“I need you to break up with Renee.”
I froze. No. I wouldn’t do that.
Technically, Ryder could fire me from being Renee’s bodyguard and I might respect that to an extent. I’d let him send someone else over there to protect her and do the digging that would lead us to Thomas York. But that didn’t mean I’d just stay away from Renee. We had a connection, and I hadn’t been lying when I told him that I had honest feelings for her. I refused to call it love so early on, but something in my heart told me that was exactly what it was.
