Turn for Home

by Lara Zielinsky

  "So you knew about her being abused?"

  "Yes, and we will get through this new challenge together as well." Talia resumed her seat beside Brenna. "Now, I've got some ideas here about where to start."

  "Let's hear them." Brenna scooted her chair closer to Talia's, looking over the woman's arm as she withdrew a yellow legal pad and a pen.

  The large auditorium-style room frequently doubled as a full feature screening room for pre-release movie showings for all the big reviewers. Now Brenna stood in the wings, leaning hard on Talia's arm and wishing she had time to call Cassidy to watch their "coming out" on TV. She might have dared to bring their sons to stand with her, but Talia had advised that the boys be kept away. They didn't want to prompt questions about how the new family would go forward, just deal with the disruption to the sets, the beating Cassidy had received from Mitch and its presumed cause, and the relationship she and Cassidy had begun.

  Looking at the small note cards Talia had carefully printed as they settled on the order and nature of the questions they would answer, Brenna exhaled nervously. Talia had warned her not to perform. "They need to see the real you, Bren. That's the only way they'll believe every word you say and leave you alone."

  The media is too damn interested in our lives, Brenna thought angrily. Why don't they just get their own? She took a deep, calming breath. She had to get through this, needed to get back to the hospital and see to Cassidy's care. What was important now was to find out what it would take to make Cassidy fully well again. And this press conference was standing in her way. Best get it over with. She straightened her back.

  Talia patted Brenna's hand and smiled encouragement. "You handle this the way I know you can, and I'll represent you from here on out."

  Brenna felt a small portion of her load lift from her shoulders. "Thank you."

  Standing room only, it seemed every member of the entertainment-interested press, television, radio, and internet were in attendance. There were hand-held recorders, video cameras, production cameras, pens and pads or palm-sized computers in nearly every visible hand. There were still cameras on tripods and a few hanging around the necks of still more reporters edging in around the outskirts of the bucket seating.

  "Victor's going to speak first, then I'll go." Talia winked. "Then you can wipe the floor with them."

  Brenna laughed and the tension in her back miraculously vanished.

  There was suddenly a large hand on her right shoulder, making Brenna jump. Victor looked down as she looked up.

  "Ready?" he asked.

  "As I'll ever be," Brenna allowed.

  "You have the skills to do this," Victor said. "So do it." He stepped forward.

  Talia leaned closer. "What was that about?"

  "Victor once told me that nothing I ever do is accidental."

  "Really?"

  "I dumped a bowl of punch on a man who was aggravating Cassidy and made it look like an accident."

  "Is the man still alive?"

  "Yes."

  "Then I'd say 'brava'."

  Victor's appearance at the podium raised the noise level momentarily and Brenna calmed herself as the flashes from cameras gradually stopped. Raising his hands, Victor said, "All right, everyone, take a seat. We all know why we're here, and I am finally able to say that we can give you some definitive, accurate information."

  Brenna turned at a hand on her shoulder and Rachelle Cheron smiled. "We're with you." Behind Rachelle stood Sean Durham, Will Chapman, and Terry Brown. A little further back, Brady stood with his father Max. Brenna bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears as her friends all gave her a thumbs up.

  She turned back to face the crowd, the show of support putting a little more steel in her spine.

  Victor continued, "...not going to treat being gay as some pariah condition. Far too many people who work in this industry know it isn't. You're here because two presumably straight actresses have revealed they are having a relationship, and a very private grievance harbored by a former spouse landed one of those women in the hospital."

  "So let's get on with it!" someone shouted from the gallery.

  "Regardless of the imagined reasons for it, there is no excuse for spousal abuse," Victor said. "This studio should have done more to protect Ms. Cassidy Hyland from her ex-husband. That fault we accept, and studio security procedures have been updated as a result of this terrible incident."

  "So you're sorry. We get it. Move on!"

  Victor's glare could have immolated the man on the spot. He did not rise to the baiting. "Ms. Hyland remains in the hospital. Her condition has been downgraded from critical to serious, and she will likely be moved from the Cardiac Care Unit to a private room on Monday. We have her agent, Natalia Gardner, to address questions of Ms. Hyland's condition." He stepped away from the podium and Natalia moved up to take his place.

  "Thank you, Mr. Branch. As Ms. Hyland's representative, let me go on record stating that this studio has handled this terrible situation with as much attention to Ms. Hyland's medical needs as possible. Cassidy sends her thanks, and she promises to be back at work as soon as her doctors allow."

  Brenna listened as Talia outlined the extent of Cassidy's injuries, as well as congratulating the studio for immediately bringing her parents in from St. Louis. Brenna could debate how good that action had been, but it played well to build the studio's image of being family-oriented and also a supportive employer for an injured employee.

  "Ms. Hyland and Ms. Brenna Lanigan and their colleagues spent more than eighteen months working side by side, long days and often long into the night, to bring Time Trails' dramatic adventures to the American viewing public. The show is a ratings bonanza every time this cast comes on screen." Talia shuffled cards in front of her, signaling her plan to change points. "But their private lives have never played out on that same screen nor held up to public scrutiny."

  Brenna was surprised to see Rachelle step forward as Talia turned to the wings. "Ms. Rachelle Cheron's pregnancy last year was hidden from the cameras — for the simple reason that her character was not pregnant."

  Rachelle nodded at the crowd as she stepped back past Brenna. She stopped briefly to give Brenna's hand a supportive squeeze, unseen by the gathering. Brenna turned her attention back to Talia, impressed with the woman's quick thinking.

  "In this same way, an actress' sexuality is her own private affair." There was a wave of snickering sounds. "Yes, this was an affair," Talia repeated. "And it came as much as a surprise to the two women involved as it has to you now over the last few days."

  Sure she was about to be called forward, Brenna cleared her throat and waited.

  "Cassidy Hyland is a young beautiful woman, a tempting sexual icon to men everywhere. That was the primary purpose of her being cast in Time Trails almost two years ago — a key male demographic showed up in big numbers every time she appeared." Talia danced quickly to her other point. "Her vivid acting skills made scenes crackle with energy and intelligence."

  Talia turned to Brenna. "And women began to fall in love with her, too." Brenna stepped forward at the nod from Cassidy's agent. "Competition is the heartbeat of so many in Hollywood, so much so," Talia pointed out, "that Brenna Lanigan and Cassidy Hyland fell in love and didn't even know it."

  Talia grasped her hand and pulled her to the podium. Brenna felt the notecards crumpling in her clenched fists and stood waiting for her eyes to adjust to the white lights that were blinding her. For the first time she was unable to be outside of herself, to see herself do all the right things and walk herself through this event.

  Brenna blinked, and then said the first thing that came to mind. "I didn't know it was possible to feel this way." She paused. "About anyone.

  "Some women...me," she corrected. "I grew up like most Midwestern girls, expecting to finish high school, marry a nice man, maybe have a career, definitely have children, and raise them to send them off into the world on their own someday."

  Brenna looked a
t the first card which read, "Expectations". She lifted her gaze back to the reporters. "I wanted the career so badly, I left home at 18, determined to make it or break it in New York. The children and the husband could come later. But I understood that they would come."

  She looked over her shoulder, wishing to see her sons there, but finding a smile from Talia, and beside her, Rachelle. She lifted her eyes briefly to the ceiling and thought of Cassidy. "It never occurred to me that I would want, or need, anything else."

  She looked back at her cards. The second read "Things I want and need". Brenna smiled. "But I did want and need other things. I needed understanding. I wanted the outdoors. I needed to act. I wanted my children's health and happiness. And I wanted to find someone who wanted these things, too." She inhaled and exhaled to settle the nerves making her palms damp. "I tried twice but failed at my marriages to two men. Not all of it was their fault; a great deal of it was mine. I hadn't learned how to express what I wanted and needed in ways they could comprehend, and deliver on. I had begun to believe the 'men are from Mars, and women are from Venus' claptrap about the differences between the sexes. I had women as friends, and I had men as lovers. I was resigned to the fact that I wasn't going to find one person fully capable of being both." She let the smile be born from the warm glowing core of herself, growing and growing until she could only laugh a little to release the full feeling. "But I was dead wrong. There was someone out there for me capable of being both a friend and a lover. I just never expected it to be in a female package."

  Looking down at her notes, she saw the next card read "Cassidy". The name said everything to Brenna. "Cassidy," she began, "is beautiful." She shook her head. "I couldn't even look at her for long before my heart was in my throat and I wanted to stammer, feeling completely inadequate next to her. So I never managed to talk to her for any length of time."

  "You sound like a teenager!"

  Brenna laughed at the characterization from the reporter.

  "Yes, I did. Acted like it, too." She shook her head. "Cassidy had her own reasons for trying to reach through that impasse between us." She looked up. "I will be forever grateful that her son turned five.

  "I've known many actresses over the years, and this is not a slight to a single one of them," she went on carefully. "When Cassidy looks at Ryan, she loves her son. Her home is a child's home. She organizes her life around caring for him. She made the choices she's made because she refused to see anything harm him."

  "You fell in love because of children?" came a shouted interruption.

  "No. We became friends because of that."

  "So how did you fall in love?" someone called.

  "It wasn't quite like falling over a log," Brenna chuckled, "but it was just as amazingly unforeseeable and that simple. Think back to when you met your own partner, husband, wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. How did you know it was love?" She formed a picture of Cassidy in her mind and spoke to it instead of the crowd before her. "When you have that feeling, there's no mistaking it. Even if you'd never expect it, when she takes you in her arms, there doesn't even have to be a kiss. Something inside you meets something inside her, and for the first time, everything you touch, everything you say, everything you are...is whole and solid. You're real."

  Cassidy's image faded from her mind and Brenna stepped back.

  There was a short ring behind her, and she turned to see Talia opening her cell phone.

  "I think this is for you," Talia said, holding out the phone to Brenna with a smile.

  Brenna frowned at the unplanned interruption but took the phone. "Hello?"

  "You made me real, too."

  "Cass?" She turned away from the podium microphone to keep her conversation private.

  Cassidy's voice was breathy, strained. "I was watching the news...saw Victor...Talia...you... You're beautiful, Bren."

  Brenna felt her balance steady. "Cass, you sound tired."

  "Yeah, I..." Cassidy's voice trailed away and Brenna held the phone tightly, just listening to her lover breathe over the open line. "You...shouldn't be alone."

  "I'm not. You're here with me. I'll be back later. You go to sleep."

  '"Kay."

  "I love you."

  Brenna heard nothing over the line for the longest time until finally she heard a click. Either Cassidy had ended the call or given it to a nurse to do so. But the buoyant feeling of knowing Cassidy was coherent stayed with Brenna as she closed the cell phone and handed it back to Talia. "Thank you."

  "Any time."

  Turning back to the podium, Brenna smiled. "Any questions?"

  Hands immediately shot into the air.

  Chapter 19

  Thomas shifted a black checker, jumping one of Ryan's red ones. Across from him, Ryan Hyland squirmed in his chair at the folding table. Unable to concentrate on his next move, he realized he couldn't wait any longer.

  "Miss Karen," Ryan said, "could I go to the bathroom?" He carefully turned around in his chair to find Mrs. Grinaldi.

  The woman with curling black hair and a friendly smile looked up from her magazine and met his gaze. "Do you remember the way?”

  He nodded, but Thomas offered, "I could take him, Mrs. Grinaldi."

  Ryan frowned. As much as he liked Thomas, he knew how to go to the bathroom. "I'm big enough to go by myself," he said.

  "He'll be fine, Thomas," Mrs. Grinaldi said. "We're safe here."

  Ryan walked out of the room and looked up and down the hallway. To the right was the door out into the sunshine he could see peeking through the window. To the left would be where the bathroom was, around a corner. He walked quickly, finding the door labeled MEN.

  He pushed it inward and stepped into the first empty stall, closing the door. A few minutes later he was tucking in his shirt when he heard noises as another door opened.

  "Ryan?"

  He frowned. That did not sound like Thomas.

  "Ryan, are you here, son?"

  Leaving the stall, Ryan looked up into the familiar face. "Daddy!"

  "Shhh, son." He pulled off the baseball cap that hid much of his face and crouched. Ryan noticed that his shirt label said "Jim". "How are you, buddy?"

  "Fine, Daddy." His daddy's face looked scratched up, but he wasn't crying, so Ryan decided the scratches must be makeup. Since Mommy wore costumes and makeup to pretend to be somebody else, maybe his daddy was doing that, too. "Are you playing dress up?"

  "Something like that," was the answer. "Come on. Let's go." His father looked quickly over his shoulder then down to the end of the stalls. "We don't have a lot of time."

  "Are we going home? You didn't come by the hospital and see Mommy."

  "No. I had some things to do first," Daddy said.

  "I'm gonna tell Miss Karen that you and me are going to see Mommy. I can tell Thomas I got to see my daddy!"

  There was a knock at the door. "Ryan?" His daddy stood quickly and backed away from the door. "Ryan," said the voice. "Are you all right?" Ryan reached for the door handle just as it opened inward. "You're taking too long. Mrs. Grinaldi sent me..." Thomas smiled at Ryan. "There you are."

  "This is my daddy!" Ryan introduced proudly, stepping back and gesturing. His daddy stepped forward.

  Thomas looked startled. "What the...? Holy shit! James!" Thomas stumbled backward through the open door, and Ryan watched his daddy chase after him.

  "Ow!" Ryan howled when his shoe was caught in the closing door.

  "James! Mrs. G!" Thomas bolted, yelling, "He's here! He's here!"

  Ryan pushed his foot free and watched his father run for the door leading to the outside. "Daddy! Wait, Daddy!"

  Thomas skidded to a halt as he heard the outer door open. He pushed open the door to Miss Karen's room and yelled, "James, he's here!" Then he turned around and spotted Ryan still by the bathroom. "Ryan, are you okay?"

  "Why'd you scare off my daddy?" Ryan pouted. "We were going to see Mommy together."

  "Ryan, we are going to see your mom again
tomorrow. Tonight it's too late."

  "That was my DADDY!"

  Miss Karen came out into the hall and called him back into the classroom. "We'll wait right here for your mother," she said to Thomas. "I'll call Security." She ushered Ryan and Thomas back into the small room, shut and locked the door. "Come on."

  Ryan sat down in a chair in the corner and tried to figure out what was happening. "Will Daddy come back for me?"

  There was a sharp banging on the door. Karen looked through the window and quickly unlocked it, letting in James, who said, "He got out through a side door. I couldn't catch him."

  "Daddy!" Ryan pulled at the door.

  James pulled him away from it. "Ryan, stop!"

  "I want my daddy!"

  "Ryan, man, your dad is bad news. C'mon." He tugged on Ryan's arm.

  Ryan pulled away from him and ran to a table, where he sat down and cried.

  Ryan was still sobbing when Brenna arrived with two men from Security, and he would not come to her when she called. "What on earth happened?" she asked.

  Thomas frowned. "He saw his father."

  "I thought I asked that the news be kept off." She rose to her full height. "I ask you to do one thing—"

  "We did what you asked!" James intervened. "Shit, Mom, listen. Mitch Hyland came here. He was going to take Ryan away. What the hell was Thomas or I supposed to do? We weren't going to let him take Ryan."

  "Mitch was here?" Brenna swallowed hard and her face blanched. "He was here?"

  Thomas stepped forward again. "Yeah, caught up with Ryan while he was in the bathroom."

  "You confronted him?"

  "I didn't plan to," Thomas protested. "Ryan was taking too long, and when I went to check on him, I found him with his father."

  Brenna studied Thomas for a long moment and noticed a bruise just beginning to discolor his cheek. "He hit you?" she growled, brushing it with her fingertips.

  "No. I stumbled backward and hit the wall." Thomas squeezed her hand. "It's all right. He's gone."

  She crossed her arms over her chest and muttered, "Now he knows I have Ryan." She shook her head.