“Don’t.” he couldn’t hear it. Just imagining Jocelyn being so young, so out of control and being used by two strange men made him want to put his fist through a fucking wall.
“I got checked out,” she hurried to reassure him. “And those guys hadn’t given me anything, thank God. But I never slept with anyone again. Until you.”
The confession eased him. Jocelyn had given him her trust before she even realized that was what she was doing. He was honored. And so goddamn grateful she’d chosen him to reawaken her sexuality. She’d chosen someone who would never hurt her or use her. And never would.
“I might never stop fearing tomorrow, Braden,” she admitted. “The future and what it can take from me, scares me. And sometimes I freak out, and sometimes my freak outs hurt the people closest to me.”
Braden smiled tenderly. As if he hadn’t already clued into that fact. “I understand that. I can deal with it. You have to trust me.”
“I thought you were the one with the trust issues,” she grumbled, sounding put out.
He gave her what she needed to hear. The thing she normally ran from. He prayed this time she stayed put under this kind of responsibility. “I trust you, babe. You don’t see yourself the way I see you.” he braced.
She traced a little “J” across his heart and he relaxed even before she said, “I do trust you. I just didn’t expect Ellie to lie to me, so I took her word as gold. I’m sorry.”
Although he didn’t ask for it, her apology soothed him all the same. He would never betray her and he was glad she finally realized that. “I love you, Jocelyn. These last few weeks have been a nightmare for more reasons than one.”
“And Isla?” she asked tentatively.
Ellie had planted concerns with her tall tale… “I swear I never slept with her.”
“Did anything happen?”
He would have been pissed off at her asking if there wasn’t some validity to the question. He froze beneath her, not wanting something that meant nothing to him, to affect such an important moment between them.
She felt his tension and he heard the worry in her tone as she said his name in question.
Not wanting lies between them he heaved a beleaguered sigh. “Yesterday she kissed me. I didn’t kiss her back. I pushed her off and told her about you.”
Her silence caused a flare of panic. But then… “You have to fire her.”
Amusement and gratification subdued his panic. Jocelyn acting outright possessive was something he could get used to. “Are you finally admitting you love me?”
“I can’t promise it’ll be easy, Braden. I’ll probably always be a little irrational about the future. I’ll worry a lot.”
Joy began to bubble up in him as he realized she was finally giving in to them. “I told you I can handle it, babe.”
“Why?”
Why was he fighting so hard for her? “Because you make me laugh, you challenge me, you turn me on like no one else can. I feel like I’m missing something really important when you’re gone. So important I don’t feel like myself. I’ve never felt like someone was mine before. But you’re mine, Jocelyn. I’ve known that from the moment we met. And I’m yours. I don’t want to be anybody else’s, babe.” It wasn’t hard to admit his feelings now that he wasn’t tiptoeing around Jocelyn’s. Braden wanted her to know that she was loved beyond any of her wildest imaginings.
She leaned up on her elbow to look him in the eye and he saw all of her love for him shining out. Relief, unlike anything he’d ever felt, flooded him.
He felt her soft, tender kiss on his mouth. A kiss that deepened as she sunk into him with a physical outpouring of that love.
A little breathless when they finally came up for air, Jocelyn caressed his lower lip with her finger as if memorizing him. And then she blew him away by asking, “Do you think you might be able to come to Virginia with me? To go through my parents’ things?”
There was so much in that one request and happiness bloomed like an ache in Braden’s chest. Jocelyn was going to try to move on, to face her loss, and she wanted him by her side while she did it. “Of course. We’ll go whenever you want. But we’re coming back.” He reminded her that they still hadn’t discussed the fact that she’d been planning to take off on him.
“I was only moving to Virginia because I thought you were moving into Isla.”
He grunted at her usual charming way with words. “Nice.”
“You’re firing her, right?” she insisted.
Although perversely pleased with her possessiveness, it didn’t sit quite right to fire someone just because they had a crush on him. Yet, he didn’t want to deny Jocelyn either. He felt her out to see if she really meant it, “You just want me to fire her?”
“If I told you that Craig had kissed me last night would you make me quit.”
Fuck.
“Point taken. I’ll find her a job elsewhere.”
“Elsewhere as in nowhere you work.”
His lips twitched with renewed amusement. “Christ, you’re bossy.”
“Uh, do you not remember dry humping me to a desk after Craig kissed me.”
Yes, he did. It was one of the sexiest encounters between them. So far. “Again, point taken.”
Jocelyn suddenly buried her head against his chest. “I thought I’d really fucked up.”
Not wanting her to take all of it on herself, Braden squeezed her nape, reassuring her. “We both really did. But that’s over now. From now on I’m completely in charge.” He teased. “I think we’ll have a lot less drama, and definitely no more breakups, if I’m in control of this thing.”
She gave his stomach a condescending pat. “Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day, baby.”
He smirked… and then pushed, “You still haven’t said it yet you know.”
Thankfully she didn’t torture him with a long wait. Jocelyn lifted that gorgeous head of hers, gave him that sexy little smile and confessed, “I love you, Braden Carmichael.”
He was wrong before about the joy. This. This was joy. He couldn’t contain it, grinning so hard it made her beam right back at him. Greedy, he insisted, “Say it again.”
She giggled. Bloody giggled and it was the sexiest and cutest fucking thing he’d ever heard. He vowed to hear it more. “I love you.”
Needing to be inside her while she said it, Braden sat up quickly and got out of the bed, pulling Jocelyn along with him. He gently pushed her towards his bathroom. “You’re going to say it again while I fuck you in the shower.”
She grinned up at him. “This whole taking control thing is kind of hot.”
“It’s about to get hotter, babe.” He smacked her lightly on the ass and she let out a little squeal that surprised him. He laughed as he reached into turn on the shower and for no reason at all but happiness, Jocelyn laughed with him. They stumbled into the shower together and Braden made it his business to turn her laughter into gasps of pleasure.
And when he was deep inside her he growled, “Again.”
Jocelyn’s fingers bit into his arms as she undulated into his thrusts, and she gazed into his eyes, her own smoky with desire. When the words came, they were a promise, almost a vow. “I love you, Braden Carmichael.”
In awe that he’d finally won her love and trust Braden pressed his forehead against hers as he moved inside her. “I’ll love you forever, Jocelyn Butler.”
6
Braden – Before Jocelyn
PRE-ON DUBLIN STREET
The rain was beating hard against the windscreen of the driver’s black cab and Braden sighed heavily as they journeyed down Queen Street toward Dublin Street. He didn’t have an umbrella, it was past dinner time, and he was in one of the many custom tailored suits his father had insisted he spend a fortune on. Braden was much more comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt, but his father was of the opinion that appearance was everything. Sometimes, he wasn’t wrong.
Braden sighed again. He didn’t want the suit getting
wet. It was bad enough he was late for the high school musical Ellie was performing in – and by performing in, he meant hiding in the chorus – and had to sit through a high school musical, but to do so in a wet suit?
Fuck.
There’d better be a bloody leak at the flat on Dublin Street.
As the cab driver turned left onto the street, Braden tried his wife’s mobile phone again. He’d been trying to contact Analise for the last twenty minutes to make sure she was at least on the way to Ellie’s musical, but so far his wife was A.W.O.L. He swore under his breath and hung up. Braden’s dad wasn’t going to be there for Ellie so he needed to be. She’d been going on and on about the musical for months, if he didn’t turn up he’d be the biggest dick in Edinburgh. And since his father lived in Edinburgh that would be some feat.
“Just here, thanks,” Braden directed the driver and he pulled up behind a vaguely familiar-looking car. Braden paid his fare and jumped out, flinching against the rain. He was just about to run up to stand under the small porch of the main door of the apartment building when the license plate of the familiar car caught his attention.
It was his friend Gavin’s Audi. The one he could barely afford.
Braden glanced up at the building and saw a light on in the flat he and his dad were in the middle of renovating to rent out.
His heart rate picked up as he stared up at it, barely aware of the rain soaking the heavy material of his suit to his shirt to his skin. He licked his lips of the rain water and felt his trepidation build…
“Braden, I need you to run over to the flat on Dublin Street and check to see if there’s any water damage.” His father, Douglas Carmichael, demanded gruffly as soon as he picked up the phone. “I just got a call from the landlord of the flat upstairs. They’ve got a pipe leak and wanted us to know.”
Braden ran a beleaguered hand through his hair. “Dad, I’ve just finished up with the meeting for the Bellview Heights development and I’m running late for Ellie’s musical as it is.”
“Is that tonight?”
Bastard.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Well, I’m working, Braden, and I’ve got no one else to do this. You were the one that wanted to renovate that flat so you’re the one who needs to take care of the problems that arises with it."
“Does it need to be this minute?”
“Yes, it does,” he snapped, meaning the possibility of water damage must be high and he was worried.
“Fine. I’m on it.” Braden hung up without saying goodbye. After years of rebellion, he and his father had finally gotten to a fairly good place. Most of the time Braden could see past all of his dad’s bluster and bullshit, but when it came to Ellie he wanted to punch the man through a brick wall…
Braden knew how his father’s mind worked. He knew he was the kind of man who was aware of everything and everyone in the city he considered his.
There wasn’t a water leakage.
Legs heavy, pulse throbbing at his neck, he walked sedately into the building. His footsteps were light so as not to alert anyone to his presence, and as he approached the door to the flat, he heard a familiar giggle followed by an equally familiar male voice.
Braden pushed open the door and quietly followed the voices to the sitting room. He stood in the doorway watching them for a moment. They were lying on a couple of blankets, naked and writhing against one another. Analise. His wife. Gavin. His old school friend.
Braden felt cold. Cold but surprisingly calm. Yes, his heart was banging like mad against his ribcage, but he’d expected anger. Fury. Violence. He’d feared ever feeling that way again after losing control a number of years ago, a loss of control that could have devastated his future. He’d gone ballistic back then on a man who had violated his girlfriend at the time. Braden thought he’d go ballistic now because he couldn’t imagine any man touching his wife. But Analise hadn’t been his for months.
He felt cold. But calm. Pride stung. Humiliated that people he trusted would do something so cheap and cruel. Betrayed by a friend he’d stood by even when everyone else told him Gavin was a shitty person. Braden knew he was a shitty person. But there were times when they were kids that Gavin had his back and Braden had felt he owed him a certain amount of loyalty.
He swore under his breath. That son-of-a-bitch.
A gasp tore through the room as Analise caught sight of Braden over Gavin’s shoulder. “Braden,” she breathed in panic, her round eyes even rounder, her pale skin even paler.
Gavin swore and fell to his side. “Fuck, Braden, Jesus… man, look—”
“Shut up,” Braden demanded quietly.
Gavin’s mouth slammed closed.
“Braden.” Analise attempted to sit up, clinging to the blankets to cover herself as if he hadn’t seen her naked body hundreds of times before. “We did—”
“You too,” he clipped out. For once she listened to him.
Braden’s young wife was a beautiful woman. Tall and slender with long blonde hair. The first time he saw her was in a bar on George Street. He was with a date at the time and she knew Analise from university and brought him over to meet her. As they started to talk, he was quickly charmed by the Australian. She was funny, sweet, intelligent and sexy as hell. It was an asshole move but it was only his third date with her friend, so he asked for Analise’s number when they had a moment alone. She didn’t even blink, slipping her number to Braden without even pretending to hesitate over loyalty to her friend.
Braden should have taken that as a sign.
He let out a huff of bitter laughter, turning away from the sight of them together. “I want a divorce.”
She sobbed his name but he was already walking away.
Outside the flat, Braden pulled out his phone and called his father. He answered on the second ring, which meant he’d been waiting for his son’s call.
“Son?”
“Next time you have something to tell me, why don’t you just fucking say it,” Braden spat.
“You’re not angry at me, son. And you would never have believed me. You had to see it for yourself.”
“Well, thanks for the lesson, Dad.”
“Braden… If you don’t want to tear the world apart right now, if you didn’t swing for that fucker for daring to touch your wife… she isn’t the one for you.”
The main door to the apartment building slammed and Braden turned to see a now fully-clothed Analise hurrying down the path toward him.
Staring at her beautiful face, Braden felt her betrayal cut him open.
He was hurt. He was angry.
His pride was stung.
And he thought he was heartbroken. There was a sharp pain digging into his chest that suggested it was so. Braden just wasn’t sure what the heartbreak meant. Was it for her? For him? For their young naivety?
What Braden did know was that he didn’t want to tear the world apart.
“Thanks,” he said flatly down the line to his father. “Very fucking comforting.”
He hung up on him.
Analise and Braden stared at each other in silence. Her eyes were red from crying, tears staining her cheeks. He felt impatient. Impatient to be done with the knife-like pain in his chest. To be done with her betrayal. Impatient to be done with her. He couldn’t stand the sight of her now. He looked away.
“Braden… things have been awful between us for months. I know it’s no excuse,” Analise called out in the rain. “But we can fix this. We can do better.”
If you don’t want to tear the world apart right now, if you didn’t swing for that fucker for daring to touch your wife… she isn’t the one for you.
No, clearly, she wasn’t the one.
And after this disastrous foray into marriage, I couldn’t imagine how any woman ever could be.
“I don’t want to do better.” He flicked her a disgusted look before he turned and began walking up hill toward Queen Street. “We’re over, Analise. Expect a call from my lawyer.”
“Braden!”
He winced at the sound of her voice breaking through the rain but continued upwards.
Upwards and onwards.
He had somewhere to be. He had someone who relied on him. He had a high school musical to attend.
As if she heard his thoughts, his mobile rang and the caller ID read ELLIE. He answered it as he caught sight of a taxi coming toward him with its light on. Braden threw his hand in the air.
“Els?”
“Braden! Are you on your way? The show is starting soon.” His sister’s exuberance caused a sad smile to prod his lips.
“I’m just grabbing a cab.” He launched into said cab and gave the driver the school address.
“Great! I need to know you’re in the audience or I’ll never be able to go on.”
“I’ll be there soon, sweetheart.”
She hesitated. “Are you okay, big brother?”
Braden squeezed his eyes closed, forcing out the memories of the last five minutes from his mind. He took a deep breath through the invisible wound in his chest and made a promise he intended to keep. “I will be.”
7
An On Dublin Street Halloween
Edinburgh, Fire
Head hot and itchy under the short black wig I was wearing, I wasn’t feeling all that sexy, despite the short Snow White costume I was also wearing. Hand gripping a fake apple, I teetered around a slutty vampire that almost knocked me off my black platform Mary Jane’s.
Music throbbed and pulsed all around me and I could no longer see my feet in the ‘fog’ created on the ground by the smoke machines Braden had hired for Halloween at his nightclub Fire.
“Snow White!” a bumbling Frankenstein bumped into me, leering at me. “Fancy a shag?”
“I’m not really into experiments,” I answered. He stared at me blankly as I cracked up at my own joke. Sighing, I walked around him. “Waste of a good one liner,” I muttered.
ON DUBLIN STREET: THE BONUS MATERIAL Page 6
