by Aidan Wayne
“Oh.” Jason looked at the ground. He didn’t really want Chase around, but stuff like that didn’t help. Just another way to be a disappointment.
Chase took one telegraphed step forward. “Jason, I’m going to be upfront. I already care about you. I’d love it if I was allowed to touch you more. But I’d also want you to get comfort from it, or to get assurance, or just to enjoy that kind of connection. I understand it’s something you’re not ready for, and I never would push you for my own benefit.”
Jason swallowed. “Okay.”
“Besides, I do have Shade too.”
Yeah, that was true. It wasn’t all on Jason. After all, that’s one of the reasons he’d chosen a matched pair. “Right.”
CHASE SIGHED and leaned against the counter once Jason had left the kitchen, glancing up when Shade entered soon after.
“Jason sad,” he announced, eyeing Chase pointedly. “Why?”
“He’s upset about the touch aversion.” Chase sighed again. “He asked if we got anything out of touch, and I said we do. That it’s important to me. And it’s clear that bothered him.”
“Bother doesn’t want it, or can’t give it?”
“Can’t give it, I think.”
Shade’s brow furrowed. “But doesn’t want us.”
“I know. But he’s the type of person who wants to do his best. While we’re around, we’re included in that. You know that as well as I do.”
Shade nodded. “True.”
Chase had to smile. “So what you’re saying is that you just wanted to chastise me for upsetting him.”
Shade shrugged. “Maybe. Don’t like him sad.”
“Neither do I.”
“Want to help,” Shade admitted quietly.
Chase looked around the sparse kitchen. “Me too.”
A LOUD whirring sound startled Jason in the middle of his afternoon workout, and he hurriedly yanked a shirt over his head before stumbling out of his room.
“What’s going on!”
Chase blinked up at him from the hallway and turned off the vacuum cleaner. “I found it in the storage closet,” he explained. “Cleaning is one of my duties. Is—is that okay? I don’t have to vacuum if you don’t want me to. Or I could wait until later? Maybe when you’re out?”
“I don’t really go out,” Jason said, trying to calm down. “And no, it’s fine. Vacuuming is fine. The noise just startled me. You, uh. You don’t have to clean, you know. I can do that.” He hadn’t been as fastidious as he could have been, but after years of service, Jason got twitchy at too much mess.
“I like cleaning,” Chase said.
“Is, uh, is that because—” He stopped before he finished with because you were made to be a service bot. Stupid, stupid. He knew that wasn’t how AI worked. You were more than what you were originally made for. Jason knew that plenty well.
“I enjoy cleaning” was all Chase said. “It’s relaxing. Baking too,” he added conspiratorially. “I’m a bit of a domestic. If you get more comfortable with me making food for you, expect a lot of it.”
“Oh.” And, okay, originally a service bot or not, if that’s what made Chase happy, who was Jason to say no?
Because yeah, Jason hadn’t really thought about what his Companions would do with their time, living with him. He had his mat and his studies to keep him busy, and he still felt like he was sometimes going to go out of his mind from staring at the same space.
“What, uh, what else do you like to do? And Shade? To keep busy?”
“Well, both of us like to read,” Chase said, “though we prefer different books.” He grinned, leaning in to whisper, “I’m a horror fan, and I’m not actually allowed to talk about that around him.”
Jason didn’t much like horror himself either, but it was kind of funny to think about buttoned-up Chase getting into those books.
“And we both like to work on puzzles,” Chase continued. “Actual ones, with pieces. Shade finds them calming, and I like that we can’t just calculate how everything will fit together. We actually have to look at each piece and try to place it.”
“Oh. I… I never really got into puzzles.”
Chase smiled at him. “We brought a few with us. I know the desk in our room is probably for actual work, but it’s currently covered with five thousand pieces of colored cardboard. You’re always welcome to work on it with us.”
That startled a laugh out of Jason. “I think five thousand pieces might be a bit much for me.”
Chase grinned. “We have some smaller, easier ones too. And we could always get some more.”
“Maybe,” Jason said. “That—that sounds like it could be fun. Is that, uh, where Shade is now?”
Chase nodded. “Yes, he’s in our room. He doesn’t like it when I run a vacuum cleaner.”
“Between me and now Shade, you’re making a good case to just pull up the carpet.”
“It’s not so bad. It’s just the hallway and our bedroom, so it goes quick. He likes that the living room is hardwood,” Chase added shyly.
Shade chose that moment to poke his head out of their bedroom doorway. “Vacuum done?” he asked, sounding hopeful. And then, more stilted, “Hello, Jason.”
“Hey, Shade. And sorry. I interrupted Chase before he could finish, I think. I don’t like vacuums much either.”
“Noisy-loud,” Shade grumbled in agreement. “What Jason doing?”
“I was just training. Um. Chase said you were working on a puzzle?”
“Yes. Jason wants to try?” And that sounded almost welcoming, from Shade.
“Uh, sure, I guess,” Jason said, glancing between them both. “Distraction, right?”
“Right.”
And if Jason felt something in him release a little, well, that was good. Progress was good.
As for the fact that he went online later and bought a bunch of five hundred to five thousand piece puzzles in designs he liked, well, that was neither here nor there.
Chapter Four
I THINK it’s going well, Chase said a few nights later, when he and Shade were curled up together on the couch. Jason had turned in early, drained after a conversation he and Chase tried to have in German, with Shade synced up with Chase to make it a three-way endeavor. Jason had been doing well. He always tried to eat at least one meal in the same room with them and had let them cook for him three more times. He’d also let Chase touch him twice more, and Shade had initiated close proximity once.
They could still just make out the brutal pace that Jason fought with his bag, and Shade reported that Jason was continuing to work himself into exhaustion more often than not, but it was progress. He was definitely starting to become more comfortable with them. Or at least, he was making a solid effort to be.
He’s still being careful not to show us too much yet, Shade said, ever observant, But yes, I think—Suddenly he bolted up, detaching from the sync and running from the room to Jason’s door.
“Shade?” Chase called, running after him, “What?” But as he got closer, he could hear it too.
“Screaming!” Shade said, pounding at Jason’s door. The sounds were just wordless, pain-filled cries, and Chase almost threw himself at the door too. “Jason! Jason up! Jason!” Shade continued to bang and pound, ignoring Chase’s attempts to move him away. “Jason open!”
“Qu’est-ce que vous voulez?” finally came breathlessly from behind the door. Then, “Who is it? What’s going on?”
“Shade, Jason,” Shade said, finally stopping his hands from banging on the solid wood. “It’s Shade. Chase. Open please.”
There was a long moment of silence and then the familiar sound of the two locks popping open, followed by Jason poking his head out. He looked worn, more tired than they’d ever seen him. That was saying a lot.
“Sorry,” he said, voice raspy. “I didn’t mean to bother you guys.”
“No,” Chase said over Shade’s shoulder. “Don’t apologize. Are you all right?”
“Nightmares,”
Shade said, bringing one hand up to almost touch Jason’s cheek. Both Chase and Jason immediately sucked in a breath.
“Shade,” Chase said, “Your hands….”
Shade’s synth-skin had split open at both knuckles from his pounding on the wood, repair fluid leaking out as the nanites in his body worked to close the damage.
“I—I have bandages and stuff,” Jason said in a rush, looking wrecked. “Would that help?”
“It’s okay,” Chase said, carefully grasping one of Shade’s hands. Shade looked unconcerned. “We both have repair kits. I’ll go get what we need. Shade? Do you want to go to our room or the couch?”
“Couch,” Shade said, before looking up at Jason. “Together please.”
Jason’s eyes went wide. “Are you sure? I—”
“Together, please,” Shade said again.
“O-okay.”
JASON AND Shade made their way back to the living room while Chase went to get a repair kit. Minutes later they were all on the couch, Jason pressed as far into the side as he could get while Shade sat in the middle, Chase on his other side fixing up his hands.
“We’ll have to keep the covers on for a few days,” Chase said when he finished, before kissing Shade’s wrapped knuckles. Jason glanced away. It was clear he felt at fault. “And no syncing with your right hand until the palm knits up.” Shade nodded.
“But no harm,” he said, with a significant look at Jason.
“Right. No lasting damage. Everything’s perfectly all right.”
Minutes passed in silence, and Shade slowly spent the time inching closer to Jason, wanting the proximity, wanting to help take away some of his hurt. He stopped when he was just close enough to be able to reach out his left hand and set it right next to Jason’s knee, an inch away, Chase moving too so he was still pressed into Shade’s side.
More time passed, and then Jason let out a harsh breath, squeezing his eyes shut before carefully taking Shade’s hand.
JASON TRIED to withdraw after the night terrors.
He blamed himself for Shade’s injuries, the fact that he almost hadn’t been safe. If Shade had managed to open the door before Jason had woken up, Jason would have attacked in his sleep. He knew he would have.
Dammit, he wasn’t safe.
The problem was that Chase and Shade didn’t seem to care. They kept trying to cook for him, invited him to work on the puzzles, asked to join him the living room the few times he ventured out of his room. The hardest part was the touching. They kept… offering touch, and Jason, he knew he was touch starved probably, for comfort, but he couldn’t…. Shade had hurt himself. Might have gotten hurt worse. Jason didn’t have enough control. He wasn’t good enough.
One week turned into two, and he had his first evaluation. He tried to gloss over his feelings, pointed out the few positives like the fact that he ate the food Chase and Shade prepared. If he was going back to work, he needed to have some progress, so he twisted the words as best as he could and said that he thought things were going well, that he saw the merit of the program.
It was such a relief when he got a call from work, commending him on his progress so far and asking him for some time in the training hall.
“And you’re sure it’s a good idea?” Chase asked, concern everywhere in his face. “It’s not too soon?”
“Yeah,” Jason said. “It’ll be good. They like having me in there when I’m not away or recovering from a mission. It’s just some one-on-one training. Besides, I know the guy. It’ll be a great way to ease back in again. That’s probably why they gave it to me.” He couldn’t wait. He was still training to exhaustion nearly every day, but he’d forgone his morning workout in order to be the best prepared. The bag did its job, but he’d been itching to spar with someone who knew what they were doing. And if work was calling him in after only two weeks in the program, that was a great sign that they were hoping to return him to the field soon. The sooner the better; then he could be useful again, and Chase and Shade could go try to take care of someone who could actually use the help. Who might get better from it, wasn’t a lost cause.
Chase nodded. “If, well, if you’re sure. We’re coming too, of course.”
Jason startled. “What? No, that’s fine. You don’t have to—”
“Actually we do. You’re under our supervision. We’re not supposed to leave you unattended for long periods for at least a month, and that’s if you make good progress.” Chase’s eyes skittered away. “You, well, you haven’t been making good progress.”
“I was assigned to you through my job though,” Jason tried to point out. “And they think I’m ready for training.”
“Please don’t fight us on this. With our relationship so new… we need to come. And I admit that I’d—I’d feel better about you training if I knew more about what would be taking place.”
Jason let out a breath. “We’re just going to a base facility. It’s not really a big deal.”
“I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset.”
Jason’s shoulders drew up. “Fine,” he managed. “But no guarantees once we get there. You’re still civilians.”
“That’s fine,” Chase said quickly. “We’ll follow the directions given to us once we get there.”
“…all right,” Jason said. “Fine. Let’s just go.”
The drive over was rough, Jason ever aware of his two Companions at his back, but tension finally eased back out of his shoulders when they met up with Tyson in front of the practice area. He went up to shake his hand and even let Tyson clap him on the back.
“Chase, Shade, this is Tyson.”
“Nice to meet you two,” Tyson said, holding out a hand to shake.
Chase took it. “I hope things go well.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Tyson smiled. “Jason and I have worked together before. He’s doing me a favor, getting back in the game for me.”
Chase opened his mouth, probably to ask another question, but Jason cut him off. “And I’m ready to get started if you get my meaning,” he said. “Gotta make sure you haven’t been slacking off.”
“Never!” Tyson said, hand over his heart.
“Chase, Shade, you two will have to wait in the holding area while we train. No civilians allowed.”
Shade looked mutinous, but Chase nodded. “Of course.”
“Great.” The two lackeys standing behind Tyson stepped forward to escort them out, leaving Jason alone with Tyson and an open playing field.
Jason couldn’t wait. There was only so much steam a person could blow off on their own, as opposed to working with another body, and he missed that aspect of his workouts after being put on hold. Besides, he liked Tyson. He’d spent enough time training with the guy before and after to trust him to have his back both on and off the field, and that was a precious thing.
Tyson was a good man, and he and his wife had even had Jason over a couple times, back before his last assignment.
He was a good man and he had a family, and privately Jason thought he was a little too soft for the position he was gunning for. He’d recommended Tyson for other jobs—ones that kept him out of the field a little more—but Tyson was adamant. This was what he wanted to do, so Jason took it upon himself to give the man the best training he possibly could. At least then he’d have a fighting chance at returning home.
They caught up while Tyson geared up, Jason stretching himself out and getting warm and ready. Then it was finally time to get started.
“Ready?” Tyson asked. It was as much a protocol as it was setting the scene. This was training for both of them, even though Jason was the superior. Jason worked in infiltration, and he often didn’t have the luxury of excess gear. He was in civvies. Tyson was the one combat ready with a gun.
“Let’s see if you can lay a hand on me this time,” Jason said, smirking.
Tyson didn’t reply, just dove forward and threw the first punch.
The fight favored Jason because he was wearing a lot less gear tha
n Tyson was, but that also gave him the disadvantage of more open targets. It was a good thirty seconds before he was fully pinned for the first time, and that was because he invited it to give Tyson experience with someone fighting free.
Jason begged to be let go the second time he was pinned, and Tyson, the softie, faltered enough for Jason to extract himself, and he got up and broke into a run, making for the exit.
Tyson was a good man, and he paused before shooting Jason in the back, which was why he missed.
As Jason fell, pain spreading through him, he heard an out-and-out snarl, and then the door was thrown open, Shade running in and throwing himself at a bewildered Tyson, Chase close at his heels. Along with three lackeys.
Jason fought to get his breath back, even as Chase crouched next to him and started a hover sensor, frantically talking about the fact that Shade had heard a gunshot but there wasn’t any blood and he didn’t know how to treat that.
“Shade!” Jason bellowed as loud as he could. The yell brought Shade up short, and he changed direction from his obvious intent to eviscerate Tyson and ran to Jason’s side.
“Here,” he said, immediately picking up Jason’s hand. “Here. Don’t hurt, don’t hurt, be safe.”
“Stand down,” Jason told the men and woman pointing their guns at his Companions. “They’re fine. We’re fine. They just weren’t briefed about the training today. And apparently this room isn’t as soundproof as it’s supposed to be.”
“Jason,” Chase said, “Jason, Shade heard the gunshot and heard that it connected and heard you—”
“Uh, that was me,” Tyson said, holding up his hands. He’d taken off his mask and had left the gun on the floor. “Rubber bullets. Since he, uh. Since he ran?”
