by SF Benson
Wow.
This is the first time I’ve heard those words from my brother. Yes, I knew Greg felt guilty for Mom and Dad’s deaths. But I had no idea his remorse was why he didn’t want to shoulder the responsibility.
Softening my posture, I look at him. “Why didn’t you tell me this before I took on the title?”
Greg reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes—a new bad habit. He places one between his lips and lights up a match. The glow is like a beacon in the night. Greg cups his hands against the slight breeze and touches the flame to the cancer stick. Sulfur mixes with the more toxic nicotine scent. I gag and wave my hand in front of my nose. Which vice is worst?
He takes a long drag before speaking again. “Because it wouldn’t have made a difference. Once you get a thought in that thick head of yours, no one can dislodge it. If nothing else I’ve said tonight sticks, try to remember to do what’s right for you. Stop worrying about the goddamned pack. Stop worrying about me.”
I close my gaping mouth. “What about Tia?”
“What about her? She’s creating her own future.”
The breeze picks up, and I pull my jacket closed. “What are you talking about?”
Greg’s anger dissolves into a smirk as he balances the cigarette between his fingers. “You don’t know about her boyfriend?”
Exhaling loudly, I say, “No. Please, fill me in.”
“Tia came by the bar while you were gone. I thought she came to meet you.” A laugh breaks through Greg’s lips.
My eyebrows squish together as I scratch my temple. “What’s so funny?”
“Tia met up with Brian.” Greg takes another hit off the cigarette.
My eyes widen. “Brady’s brother?”
“Yup. They ran off to New Orleans.”
“For what? Why didn’t you stop them?” I hold the hair off my forehead and stare at him. Surely, my parents couldn’t have whelped such a moron.
All sorts of possibilities tear through my thoughts. I didn’t even realize they were a couple. Brian and Tia have been friends since they were pups. I should have seen it myself. The pack made me blind while family shit kept me preoccupied.
“Calm down, Audra. They’ll be back. Tia’s helping him with Romero business. Just like how you help Brady. It’s what mates do. According to our little sister, Brian claimed her when they entered Colgate.”
“Damn.” My gaze ping-pongs everywhere. I notice the lone domestic cat prowling for rodents. On the next street over, a car engine revs while my heart ricochets in my chest. “Was there a ceremony?”
“Tia said their friends witnessed it. That’s all that’s really needed.” Greg shakes his head. “What’s with you two and those Romero wolves?”
I hold up my finger and point it at Greg. “Don’t say another word. I’ll speak with Tia when she returns. In the meantime, get your shit together. Either support me and this pack or leave.”
Disbelief flickers in my brother’s eyes.
“Doubt me all you want, but I’m serious.” I draw in a deep breath, attempting to calm down. “I understand why you don’t want the role, but I need you. Step up and be the alpha at least until the beta can be trained. I don’t want to lose Brady over this.”
Greg takes one final drag on the cigarette before flicking it away. The smoldering item rolls over the curb and into the gutter. “If you lose Brady, my dear sister, it’s your fault. Can’t drag anyone else on that boat. You know where I stand on the whole alpha thing.” Greg stands, pivots on his heel, and walks up the stairs.
“Where are you going?”
He doesn’t stop moving or even look over his shoulder. “It suddenly occurred to me that my ghosts make for better company. They don’t argue. They don’t pressure. And they sure as hell don’t point out my flaws.”
Coward.
Home or back to the bar? The first choice might offer me a little solitude if Brady stayed at work. I told him I’d think about the situation. What on earth am I supposed to tell him? Because of my brother’s guilt, I have to remain alpha? Because my beta isn’t worth the title, I have to be alpha?
Maybe I should go to the pack instead. Tell them my predicament and let them vote on it. My decision involves more than just my life. And that’s the problem.
Brady needs to protect his family, his pack, and himself. He can’t do that and deal with this problem between us. And I can’t forsake those I’ve sworn to protect. Good alphas don’t do that. I park my Jeep near the waterfront and get out.
As much as I love Brady, as much as losing him is going to hurt, I have to do it. It’s the honorable thing to do. Greg won’t mind my moving back home as long as I lay off pressuring him. Brady and I own the bar together. Money will continue to flow into my account whether or not I’m working there. Somebody in the pack might have a job to occupy my time.
Sitting on a boulder, I stare out at the water flowing swift and strong. A symbol of how I need to act. If I think too hard, I’ll chicken out. Brady deserves a wife who can put aside her dreams while supporting her alpha.
She isn’t me.
She’ll never be.
Alphas deserve compliant spouses. In time, when the hurt passes—if it passes—I’ll find a suitable mate within the pack. He’ll need to be the complete opposite of Brady though. Forgetting him won’t be easy. Tia becoming Brian’s mate muddies the damn water. Why didn’t she come to me with her decision? I’m her sister for fuck’s sake!
“How long you plan on sitting there?”
The familiar voice doesn’t frighten me. I sensed his presence shortly after I sat down. “For as long as it takes.”
“You made a decision.” Pain coils around his deep voice. “You’re wrong. You know that?”
“It’s the best for everyone,” I tell Brady.
“Maybe for our packs. Maybe for the Broussards. Not for us. Audra, you do this and you might as well rip my heart out. Hell, rip my damned throat out. I don’t want to live without you.”
I choke back a sob. Here isn’t the time or place for it. “I’m going to move back in with Greg. I won’t come back to the bar. That would be unfair to you.”
Brady moves behind me, and I melt into his chest. He pushes aside the hair on my shoulder, kisses my neck while caressing my cheek with his hand. “Mi querida, no lo hace.”
Speaking Spanish isn’t playing fair. “Run with me. Make love to me once more in the moonlight.”
Brady steps back. “No. If you want to end this, I can’t do it. I won’t do it.”
“But…”
“Audra, I don’t want the memory. If we break up, it’s a clean break.” Brady sets his jaw and looks toward the water. “I saw the lawyer today. You can have the house. I’ll move back in with my parents.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
He side-glances at me and shakes his head. “Already done. Mom will appreciate me being around more. You get Balls Up. I want no part of it without you. I’m going to fill in for my father at Romero Enterprises.”
A suit-and-tie job? Brady never wanted that. “Don’t. I can find something else.”
“The paperwork is already signed. Sebastian brought it by an hour ago. It was supposed to be a backup plan. I held out hope for…” Brady’s voice fades, and he clears his throat. “I’ll do my best to keep a safe distance from you.”
“Do you know about Brian and Tia?”
“No. What’s happened?” Brady’s voice is flat and far-off. He won’t look at me.
“Brian claimed her. They’re bonded mates.”
“Interesting. Nice to know at least one Romero can have the female he loves. I’ll be sure to welcome my new sister with open arms.”
I don’t miss the spite blanketing Brady’s tone. There’s nothing I can say or do to change the fact I’ve hurt him.
“Audra, is there anything else I should know?”
“No.”
Only that I love you with all my heart. What’s left of it anyway
.
His head bobs up and down. “Fine. Give me an hour. I’ll be out of the house by then. If I leave anything behind, you can send it to the estate or trash it. I don’t really care anymore.”
My throat burns too bad to speak.
“Audra, te amo más que palabras pueden decir. Sin ti, mi vida estará vacía. No me caso con Amber hasta fin de mes. Si cambias tu mente, ya sabes donde encontrarme.”
Good to know that we have until the end of the month before our lives completely shatter.
“I love you too.” It’s all I can choke out. My life will be just as empty as his, but I can’t change my mind. Not unless my brother changes his first.
It’s over. Thirteen years gone just like that. How am I supposed to function without her? Sleep won’t even be possible without her by my side. Letting go of Audra won’t be like getting rid of an item I no longer need. She’s the fucking air that I breathe. I shouldn’t have given up. I should have fought.
It’s not your style.
No. I didn’t try because of the pack…because of the same damned code Audra lives by. Thanks to that fatalistic motto, everyone else gets to be happy except us. Maybe I should have walked away from the pack and given up on those who have supported me without question.
Until now.
Somebody doubts my leadership, and I need to find out who. Under my father’s leadership, he would have called each and every pack member into his study. Questioned. Threatened. Crushed if necessary. By the end of his tirade, the culprit would have been found and dealt with—his throat ripped out, and his carcass displayed as an example.
Maybe it’s time for you to act like a true alpha.
No. That’s not my style either.
Somehow I’ll fix this without resorting to Dad’s tactics. When this is all over, Audra will be with me again because my life isn’t worth living without her.
For now, I’ll have to deal with the mess I created. Storming up the stone stairs, I push open the door and enter the house like a maniac, seeing red.
“Brady!” Mom shouts from behind me as I tear down the hall. She follows me as I make a beeline for my father’s study. “I thought that was your car. What are you doing here?”
“Not now, Mom!”
“Not now?” Gone is the soothing concern in her voice. It’s quickly replaced by a savage edge. A warning that I’ve said the wrong thing. “Brady Maxwell Romero, don’t you dare walk away from me!”
My feet find purchase in the middle of the floor. Exhaling loudly, I announce, “I need a key to a guest house.”
“Okay.” Cautiously, she says, “The one closest to the stables is open. It was cleaned yesterday.” Mom steps in front of me. “Mind telling me who’s visiting?”
“Not visiting,” I admit. “Moving in.”
Her mouth opens and closes before understanding colors her face. Mom reaches for me, but I step back, dodging her hands. The last thing I want is comfort. Give me a damned minute with my anger. Let me walk around in it until it becomes comfortable. It’s the only way I can go on with my life.
An angry alpha is not an effective alpha. He’s not the one pack members will respect and follow.
I. Don’t. Give. A. Damn.
“Oh… I guess that explains the pickup out front.” Mom’s eyes appraise me. “Brady, tell me what’s happened.”
“Not now. Maybe later.” I push past her and continue down the hall. I’m going to regret that move, but it had to be done. Pouring my heart out to my mother isn’t happening. Hell, I’ll drink myself into a stupor before that.
It’s not until I exit the back door that I allow my emotions to take over. Shrugging out of my jacket, my shirt and jeans shred. My wolf charges forth. Bones snap. Muscles lengthen. Pain so intense it nearly cuts me in half sends me to my knees. The last thing I notice is the clouds parting in the black sky as I howl at the moon.
An hour later, I’m settled in the guest house. In high school, Audra and I used to sneak in here. Granted, we spent all our time between the sheets while praying no one found us.
Now isn’t the time for this trip down memory lane. I shake the thoughts from my mind and appreciate the warmth radiating from the fireplace—probably Mom’s doing. It feels good on my chilled flesh. Still naked, I sink down on the cloth-covered sofa. Earlier, during the run, my anger shifted to pain. Now all that’s left is an ache so deep it threatens to suck me down with it.
Alone. I did this. Alphas don’t quit.
You did.
Because I never wanted this role. All I wanted slipped through my fingers tonight.
And you let her.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bottle of bourbon and a snifter on the coffee table. More evidence of my mother’s intervention. It’s something she used to do for Dad when he was dealing with heavy pack shit. He’d go for a run and when he returned, she’d have a bourbon and a steak waiting for him. If I go to the main house, I’m sure there’s a perfectly prepared steak for me. For now, I’ll settle with the alcohol. Twisting off the cap, I drink straight from the bottle and appreciate the burn along with the peace and quiet.
My phone buzzes, interrupting my moment of solitude. I start to ignore it when I see Brian’s name displayed on the screen.
“Speak,” I bark, gripping the neck of the bottle.
“Aren’t we the pleasant wolf?” my brother says. “What’s up?”
“You called me. Remember?” I have no patience for small talk.
“Deed is done. Amber will arrive next week.”
“Fine. You need to get your ass back here asap. We have business to handle. We also need to talk about your mate.”
Nervous laughter hits my ear. “So…uh… You know about that? Who told?”
“That’s not the point. You’re—” A knock at the door cuts through my thoughts. “Hang on, Brian. I’ve got company.”
I drop the phone and slip into the pair of sweatpants Mom left on the sofa. I’ve no idea who would bother me here. Maybe it’s a pack member. Time to put personal issues aside and get some work done. Yanking the door open, I don’t find a wolf though—unless she’s hiding one under her tattered skirts.
Elsbeth’s brilliant blue eyes travel over my bare chest, and she moans lowly. “Nice,” she rasps.
A shudder sneaks down my spine. Suddenly, I feel exposed and dirty. Uninvited thoughts, courtesy of the witch, filter through my mind. I push past them, wishing Elsbeth wasn’t here but being rude to her is ill-advised.
“Come in.”
“Good decision.” She sweeps into the room. “I have news for you, but don’t hang up on your brother. Brian can be of assistance.”
Nodding, I return to the sofa and the call. “Elsbeth is here. Hang tight. She has something you can help with.”
“No problem. I’ll wait.”
“Thanks.” I press the speaker button and place the phone on the table. “Elsbeth, what did you learn?”
The Red Witch, wearing her youthful persona, takes a seat on the far end of the sofa. “You were right to suspect a curse. But this is no ordinary curse.”
“It can be broken though?”
“Any spell can be broken. Once it’s learned, that is.” She leans back into the cushion. “This spell is an ancient one cast by a powerful sorceress—a Mercier witch.”
Mercier? “I’m not familiar with that coven.”
Brian chimes in, “I’ve heard it plenty since being here in New Orleans. The coven’s here, right?”
Elsbeth’s eyebrow lifts. “Your brother is correct. Question is, why did a Mercier witch spell Santiago?”
Good question. “Brian, take some time and look into it. Find out whatever you can about the coven, but be careful.”
“Contact Edwina Devereaux,” Elsbeth offers. “She lives in New Orleans now. The Devereaux witches have a history with the Merciers. If anything, she can protect you.”
“Thanks,” Brian says. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll let you go, brother.”
/> Elsbeth adds, “Find the vampire known as Kragen. He can direct you to Edwina’s property. It’s my understanding she doesn’t live in the city proper.”
“Gotcha.” He breathes into the phone. “We good?”
“For now. We still need to talk about your situation.”
“When I get back.” Brian disconnects from the call.
Focusing my attention on the witch, I ask, “How long before you undo the spell?”
“Give me a day to collect what I need. I’ll have to go to the source. You’ll hear from me again tomorrow night.” She studies me for a moment before standing. “As for your problem… Sometimes it takes a loss to make us stronger.”
My eyes lift to hers. There’s nothing that gets past this witch. Falls Creek has a mayor, but it’s this being running the town. “You know?”
“How could I not? Your anger and despair have a stench—a mixture of sweat and something akin to rotting meat.” Her mouth twists violently as she sniffs the air. “Without you telling me, I’ve learned your intended mate denied you. She broke your heart. Its fragments lead a path to your door.”
Wow. Elsbeth’s ability to ascertain is one of the many reasons why she’s the most powerful being around contrary to The Najex’s beliefs.
“Might I offer you words of advice?”
“Why not?” If I’m lucky, maybe Elsbeth could spell me so I’ll forget.
“If that’s what you want, I am capable. Warning though. This circumstance you’re in isn’t permanent. Your life and Audra’s are in a cycle. At the moment, your respective wolves want the same thing, but it’s a push and pull to win the prize. Your wolf, however, needs to be smarter than hers. Control his emotions. Do not forget the one you love.”
“Easier said than done.”
“But it must be done.” Elsbeth tilts her head, and her eyes roll skyward. “There’s a battle on the horizon. In the end, your strength will win. You can’t do it with a clouded view though.” She looks down at me. “I know it hurts, but it’s the pain that will help you see.”
I scrub my hands over my face. Why does this witch perplex me with cryptic language?
