by S S Bazinet
She walked over to where Arel stood. Without any pause, she threw herself into his arms. “I don’t care about anything but the love we have for each other,” she announced in a loud, clear voice.
Arel held her close and whispered in her ear. “Are you sure, Elise? Are you sure you want someone who’s very different from the norm?”
She had to swallow back the lump in her throat. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve tried the norm, and they’re nothing compared to you. But there is one thing.”
“Yes?”
“Please don’t leave any more notes for me on your pillow.”
Thirty-Seven
ANNABEL WAS HAPPY for Elise when William told her about the way Arel handled the situation. She wished she could have been more helpful. When Elise needed answers, Annabel let herself get very upset and rushed off to her quarters.
Later that day, William volunteered to stay with her, but she had some important issues to sort out and needed time alone. Well, she didn’t exactly need time alone. She wanted to talk to Raphael.
After William left to go for a walk, she called on her old friend. The angel was quick to appear, and she felt better as soon as she saw him. Raphael smiled at her and took a seat on the sofa in the downstairs living area.
“It’s nice to be invited in for a visit, Annabel.”
Annabel gave him a wistful scowl. “When I had my wings, it seemed humans rarely thought about angels except when they were in some sort of trouble. Now I’ve become like them.”
“Humans have a lot of distractions. When physical existence becomes very demanding, the concept of angels fades from thought.”
Annabel leaned into her wingback chair and took a deep breath. A few feet away, there were bookshelves full of old, leather-bound editions. They gave off a slight fragrance of incense that Arel frequently burned when he meditated. Annabel found the space comforting. As she began to relax, she looked at Raphael and sighed. “I think I still have so much to learn about being human.”
“Is that why you wanted to see me?”
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve longed to start a family. But how am I going to be a good mother when I panic so easily?”
“What kind of panic are you talking about?”
“Earlier today, Elise was upset about Arel’s behavior. When she started asking me questions, I was afraid I’d say the wrong thing. I wasn’t any help at all. What if a child needed something, and I didn’t know how to help.”
“Before we discuss raising children, perhaps we can talk about being a better ‘parent’ to yourself.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Ask yourself how you’d handle a child who was frightened. Would you tell them they needed to forget their fears? Or would you help them to work through whatever frightened them?”
Annabel returned a playful frown. “You know the answer to that one, Raphael.”
“Yes, and so do you. The next time you panic, try to remind yourself afterwards that you haven’t had years to learn about handling your emotions. Talk to yourself in the same way you’d talk to your child. Encourage yourself to try again.”
“I think you’ve hit on something important. After I make a mistake, I get stuck. I have a difficult time moving on.”
Raphael smiled broadly. “It’s not an easy thing to do when your emotions color all your thoughts. Look how long it’s taken Arel to move on.”
Annabel giggled. “If Arel can give himself a break. I guess anything is possible.”
* * * * *
William sat in the park and turned up his collar against a sharp wind. Frosty gusts threatened to dislodge the few remaining leaves on the almost barren trees that dotted his surroundings. It was a cloudy day, not unlike the wintry days he knew in London. There weren’t many people around, probably because the temperature was rapidly dropping.
William had walked to the park after checking on Annabel. She told him she needed time alone. William needed time too. His feelings about Arel and their friendship kept changing. Earlier in the day, he’d thought he had Arel figured out. They had just arrived back at Arel’s house when Elise confronted Arel. William thought he’d hear a contrite apology coming from Arel. In fact, Arel’s emotions did flare for a short period. After that, Arel steadied himself. His shaky hands stilled. They were clasped just enough to achieve a state of calm.
Arel’s eyes went from bright and fiery to a softer, fluid gold. It was as if the man had finally reached a pivotal point and knew he had to make a decision. And what a decision it was. Arel announced that he loved Elise, but first and foremost, he needed to make peace with himself and his faults. Speaking in a very steady voice, Arel made it clear that Elise had a choice. She could accept him for who he was, or they would go their separate ways.
William had to smile. After a lifetime of being tossed about by emotional storms, Arel had finally decided to respect himself no matter what others thought of him. That kind of decision took a lot of courage.
Arel’s actions made him question his own life. After being so confidant for most of it, he railed against his fallen position. When he’d told Annabel he thought of himself as a loser, it wasn’t only Col’s energy affecting him. It was how he saw himself most of the time.
Sucking in a cold breath of air, he knew he was at a crossroads. Like Arel, he had decisions to make. Could he learn to respect himself again, no matter how he’d changed? He didn’t know the answer. Like he’d told Arel, he didn’t have a clue about anything anymore.
Thirty-Eight
ROLPHE’S EYES WERE closed as he contemplated his situation. He wasn’t in his body. He was in an astral realm where Col was being contained in a relatively small, parklike setting. Rolphe was comfortable being in that kind of environment. Long ago, when he’d been with a woman named Chessa, she’d shown him how to travel to places very different from the physical. He’d once experienced a beautiful world where energy was much more fluid and changeable. He could take any form he wanted. He and Chessa often chose wolf bodies so that they could run free in the vibrant landscape together. But those days came to an end with Chessa’s death.
Chessa was the gypsy who’d given him a virus. It killed most people, but somehow Rolphe survived. He didn’t know about viruses back then and thought himself a vampire. He craved blood and found it easy to kill for it. He told himself his new way of life wasn’t so different from his life as a soldier.
It was a lie that Rolphe had to eventually face. He couldn’t escape his upbringing, with its teachings about God and right and wrong. After years of trying to avoid the truth, he knew he’d eventually pay for his transgressions. He’d burn in hell for eternity.
Arel changed Rolphe’s life. Arel passed on angelic blood. Instead of it helping Rolphe to feel better about himself, it did the opposite. The holy substance brought all of Rolphe’s wrongdoings to the surface. Faced with a long lifetime of wickedness, Rolphe had to fight the most intense battle of his life. He’d do anything to stay alive, to avoid the hell that waited for him.
He also craved the very thing Arel had given him, angelic blood. It was both a damning agent and the most wonderful intoxicant he could imagine. He was determined to get more of it by feeding on William. Arel constantly fought Rolphe’s evil desires, but Rolphe was tough and determined. Finally, Arel exhausted himself and nearly died.
Rolphe took advantage of Arel’s weakened condition. After some cunning plans and trickery, Rolphe got his wish. He wantonly feasted on William’s blood and would have killed the man if it hadn’t been for some unexpected intervention. The incident was Rolphe’s downfall. The guilt he’d been suppressing couldn’t be held back any longer.
When Arel found out about William’s fate, he rallied. No matter what it took, he was going to stop Rolphe. Rolphe’s heart gave out before Arel could take action. Riddled with self-loathing and hating what he’d become, Rolphe’s physical vessel failed.
Those events were still vivid in Rolphe’s mind.
What followed would always remain with him. Arel could have left him to die, but he didn’t. Arel’s deeper nature, the one that went beyond the boundaries of anger and judgment had prevailed. Arel took pity on Rolphe and helped him.
Rolphe wondered about how to do the same for Col. But Col was a soul who had no intention of bowing to guilt. Col had no remorse for his evil ways. He clung to them and nurtured them with fresh hate and need for revenge.
Rolphe had never descended that deeply into darkness. Thankfully, he’d made better choices. He had to make the right choice now. If needed, he’d remain where he was forever. He’d be a soldier again, but one who chose his mission willingly and with joy. He’d contain Col and keep him from harming anyone again.
* * * * *
Col paced back and forth, stealing glances at Rolphe. The man was very quiet, very still. But shortly after he arrived, Rolphe had made a statement about discussing what Rolphe considered the truth. It was a ludicrous attempt to undermine Col’s position, and Col met Rolphe’s announcement with shrieks of hate and outrage. His outburst didn’t have any effect on Rolphe. The man closed his eyes and seemed to drift away to some inner world.
It was all very tiresome. Col was stuck in very unfortunate circumstances. No, it was more than that. He paused and rethought the description. He wasn’t only living in unfortunate circumstances, he was confined to a place he abhorred. His mind screamed out at the injustice of it all. How dare Arel and now Rolphe think they had a right to imprison him?
He’d been free to do as he please for what felt like hundreds of years. He could create whatever he desired. He enjoyed the vile and disgusting. It fit his mindset. It was a shock to think his freedom was gone, that he’d been thrown into a sunny jail of sorts. He was gawked at by smiling people filing by his enclosure. And even if he could express his feelings with whoever was inside his confined space, when he tried to communicate his animosity with those passersby, he always appeared to be smiling back.
The situation was so galling it was everything he could do to control his rage. At times, he couldn’t control it. He screamed and went mad with a violent fit! He shouted out every obscenity he knew. On occasion, he’d been so infuriated he’d thrown himself against the energy barrier. It didn’t help. It only added to his anger when he bounced off like a child running into a soft plastic bubble.
He turned and walked over to where Rolphe sat. “You won’t break me! Do you know that? I know how to hold on to what I want. So you’re going to be here for a very long time. Do you realize that?”
Rolphe slowly opened his eyes. When he looked at Col, his gaze was bright and shiny. His voice was mellow and relaxed when he spoke. “Oh yes, Col, all things considered, I’m going to be here with you forever.”
Thirty-Nine
ELISE GLANCED AT the window as a few leaves fluttered by. It was cold and windy outside. Thankfully, the inside couldn’t have been cozier. Arel had upgraded all the windows and insulation during his brief engagement to Claire. Even if the woman herself was pure misery, Claire’s views about conserving resources was sound. The house was toasty warm.
But Elise’s thoughts weren’t on a cozy house. She sat on one of the slipper chairs in the master bedroom going over her relationship with Arel. She still felt totally committed to him. That hadn’t changed. However, she’d been exposed to ideas she’d never considered to be real.
Vampires, angels, evil ghosts? It was more than a little mind blowing. But the most disturbing item on the list was Arel saying he’d thought himself a vampire. He added that he’d actually had a virus, but somehow that didn’t help her to feel a whole lot better. For the time being, she decided to forget that part of their conversation.
Angels were a much more pleasing subject. It was still a stretch to think they could be walking around with other humans. However, she did consider Michael and Carey as wonderful friends. If they were also angels, was that really a problem? So what the heck, she wouldn’t worry about angels either.
That left evil ghosts. She’d read a lot of stuff about them on the internet when she’d considered writing a paranormal novel. She hadn’t carried through with the book, but from what she’d learned, ghosts probably existed. In fact, as she reconsidered the book idea, she was intrigued again. Perhaps she’d start a new novel about the paranormal. Writing had always been an outlet for her emotions. Maybe it could serve that purpose now since she couldn’t make sense of what Arel had told her. “Heaven knows I need a distraction,” she moaned.
A knock at the door and Arel peeking in caught her off guard, and she jumped.
Arel paused in the doorway. “Is this a bad time?”
Elise smiled. “No, I just hadn’t expected you to get back from Peggy’s so soon.”
“When she left this morning, I could tell she needed to talk to me.”
“Is she okay?”
Arel came over and sat down on the bed. “I think so. She’s still recovering from—”
Elise could feel Arel’s reluctance to introduce a touchy subject and quickly completed his thought. “She’s recovering from an attack by a ghost?”
Arel smiled. “I’m sorry you’ve been exposed to so many confusing things at once.”
Elise studied Arel’s face. There was some concern, but he also looked more at ease. She got up and went over to him. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry, too.”
“For what?”
“For not trusting you. You’ve always made me feel so good about myself.”
“That’s what I thought love was all about. When you really care for someone, you accept them, period.”
“Yes, and I was doing very well accepting you, wasn’t I?”
Arel pushed a stray bit of hair behind her ear. “You’ve been very understanding about my fastidious nature. And you’ve put up with a number of my idiosyncrasies.”
“And you were great when it came to my loud music, bright clothes and a need to add my own style of decorating to the house.”
When Arel glanced around the bedroom, Elise knew he was checking out her additions. The plain off-white curtains had been replaced by a bright, floral pattern, and feminine knickknacks had been added to every flat surface. Even Arel’s once uncluttered desk proudly displayed a little ballerina statue Elise insisted she needed there.
He brought his gaze back to her. “We’ve been the perfect couple. Then I told you about how I thought I was a vampire, and you went to pieces.”
Elise noted his serious tone and suddenly found the absurdity of their discussion so funny she began to laugh. “How silly I was to get upset. I don’t know what came over me.”
Arel smiled too as he pulled her down into his lap. His golden eyes sparkled brightly. “I meant what I said earlier. If it’s all too much—”
“Oh please, I told you how I feel too. As for the rest of it, I have to trust it’ll all work out. After all, your angel friend, Michael, seems to think very highly of you.”
Arel cradled her face in his hands. “Would you like to know a little more about my world someday? A very beautiful part?”
Elise stiffened for only a moment and then relaxed when she thought about what he meant. “You mean like when we’ve made love?”
Arel’s smile broadened. “Yes, that’s right. I didn’t think you’d be able to access what I wanted to show you, but you surprised me. You seemed so capable of seeing what I was seeing.”
“When you came back home today, I felt like I knew what you were thinking and feeling.”
“That’s because you’re more gifted than you realize.”
“But it didn’t feel like a gift. I simply knew things. I guess I’ve always been that way.”
“What way?”
“I tried counseling once. I quit after a couple of sessions, but the psychologist told me I was very empathic. I think she was right. When I was a little girl, I always ended up taking on other people’s emotional upsets and blamed myself for what peo
ple were feeling. I did it in my relationships, too.”
“I hope you haven’t been doing that with me.”
“No, by the time I met you, I had enough of myself to know the difference.” She looked at the clock on Arel’s desk and stood up. “Anyway, we’ll have to continue this conversation later. I told Annabel I needed some things from the store and asked if she’d go with me.”
“Do you want me to go for you?”
“No, I don’t really need anything. I just want to get Annabel out of the house. She got very upset this morning. If we stop at that little French café I like, it’ll get her mind off of whatever is bothering her.” She started for the door and stopped. “By the way, where is Rolphe? I haven’t seen him all day. Michael isn’t around either.”
Arel stood up and crossed his arms. “I’m not quite sure. I think Rolphe said something about taking care of some business. And as for Michael, he also has some business to take care of.”
* * * * *
After Elise left the house with Annabel, Arel went in search of William. He was surprised to see him sitting in the upstairs living room. That wasn’t like William. When visiting, he usually spent most of his time in the lower quarters. Currently, he sat on the sofa, but his eyes looked distant. Arel greeted him with a smile. “Nice to find you upstairs.”
“I was waiting for you. We need to talk about Rolphe and Col.”
Arel sat down in a recliner. “I haven’t forgotten them, but from what I’m feeling, Carey was right about the situation being stable.”
“I agree, but how long will it be before that changes?”
Arel thought about the feeling he’d had just before Rolphe knocked him unconscious. “I don’t think Rolphe is coming back.”
“That’s quite the sacrifice.”
“I don’t know about that. You didn’t see his eyes. I think he’s happy with his choice.”
