by D J Monroe
“Also, he said since the case was officially closed, there was no reason he couldn’t get us access to the files,” Creed said.
As Nate listened to Creed talk, the excitement of that kiss they’d shared in the hall came back to him. He turned over onto his back, looking up at the dark ceiling. “The official word was that she ran away, correct?”
“Yes.”
They were quiet for so long that Nate thought Creed had gone to sleep.
“So where do you want to start in the morning?” Creed asked, his voice soft, drowsy in the darkness.
“I wonder if we’d make more progress by working in the bedrooms,” Nate answered, rolling onto his other side.
“That’s probably a good idea. At least we know where most of that stuff needs to go.”
“Yeah. I can call Walter to come and get his dad’s trophies and such and we’ll box up all of the books from dad’s room. Maybe the library will come and pick them up,” Nate said, bunching his pillow up under his head.
“I doubt it,” Creed said and then laughed softly. “You’ve forgotten what a small library we have.”
Nate laughed as well. “I guess I have. We’ll make that delivery.”
“If they don’t fit in our cars, I’ll ask Rick if we can borrow his SUV,” Creed said. “After all, the quicker we get this house cleaned out, the quicker it gets on the market.”
Nate heard Creed moving around, heard him wrestling with his pillow. Then he saw his shadow, darker than the rest of the room as he sat up, straightened out his sleeping bag and lay back down again.
“Do you mind if I open a window?” Nate asked. He had rolled onto his back again. Covered with only a sheet, the room still felt hot and stuffy.
“I think it’s already open,” Creed answered.
Nate heard him moving around again. “Are you sure you’re comfortable in that sleeping bag?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Just restless tonight,” Creed confessed.
“Tomorrow I’ll check to see if there’s any AC. I never even thought about looking at that,” Nate said.
Silence fell over the room and Nate came within a heartbeat of inviting Creed into his bed. He knew they would not sleep. There was no way he could keep his hands and mouth to himself with Creed right next to him. It was all he could do to control himself when they were in separate beds.
“I say that once we get a couple of those bedrooms cleaned up, we start sleeping upstairs,” Nate suggested. “It might be cooler.”
“I like that idea,” Creed said, turning over, yet again. They were quiet for a while and then Creed said, “I’ve been thinking about that letter.”
“The one from Kathy?” Nate asked.
“Yes. I understand why it was hidden where it was,” Creed said. “I just wonder if Tammy acted on it. Maybe she felt the same way and just didn’t know what to do about it.”
“It’s a possibility,” Nate said. “I think I was about that same age when I realized I was gay and I sure as hell didn’t know what to do about it.”
“Same here,” Creed said, laughing softly.
Nate rolled onto his side facing Creed. “So, do you have someone now. I mean are you dating someone?” he asked.
“No. I’ve hooked up a couple of men that I met online,” Creed confessed.
“How did that turn out?”
Creed barked a laugh. “Let’s just say it was less than satisfying.”
Nate chuckled.
“Being gay in a small town like Lost Creek isn’t easy. Sometimes you have to resort to different tactics,” Creed said. “I don’t even know why I kept it up as long as I did. I was disappointed every time. Either they were much, much older and more experienced than me. Or they were just exploring their own sexuality, not even sure what they wanted from me.”
“So nothing came from those meetings?”
“Only disappointment on my part. The one guy I really liked turned out not to be gay or bisexual. He was just confused. After that, I gave up looking for a partner there. What about you?”
“About the same. I mean, I meet men in Charlotte but they’re either acting a part or they’re into rough, one night stands. I haven’t found anyone that I want to spend more time with once the itch is scratched,” Nate answered. He wanted so badly to add, ‘until now’. Instead he said, “So you’ve never been in a committed relationship?”
Again, Creed was quiet for so long Nate didn’t think he was going to answer.
Finally, Creed said, very softly. “Only once.”
Nate held his breath waiting for him to continue.
“I met Shane at Lost Creek Community College,” he began. “We went out a few times and everything seemed to be going well. Our relationship grew and deepened. He was exactly the kind of man I thought I wanted to spend my life with, kind, considerate and affectionate. One night, we’d planned on going out to dinner. I was going to ask him to move in with me.”
Creed stopped talking suddenly and Nate wondered if he should say something. Obviously, this was painful. Before he could act on that thought, Creed began talking again.
“When we met at the restaurant that night, he was absolutely glowing and so excited that he had something to tell me. I was excited, too, but he was practically dancing in his seat so I told him to go first.”
Again, there was that long pause.
“His big news was that he had been offered a really, really good job in California and he’d accepted the offer. They were paying him an ungodly amount of money so I could understand his excitement. I told him that I’d been going to ask him to move in with me but with this development, that was out of the question,” Creed paused. “Then I asked how long we had. You know I had to make arrangements about my apartment and such before we moved.” Creed stopped and cleared his throat. “Turns out he didn’t think that was such a good idea. Said we could have a long-distance relationship. Fly back and forth to see each other once a month or so.”
“How did that work out?” Nate asked, tucking both hands behind his head.
“Well, I wasn’t happy about it but I had to accept the situation. Problem is I’ve not heard from him since he left. I called a couple of times and left messages but he never called me back.”
“I’m sorry,” Nate said. “I know that had to hurt.”
“It happens, I suppose,” Creed said. “I just didn’t think it would happen to me-to us.”
“How long has he been gone?”
“Eight months to the day,” Creed said. “I saw his mom downtown a week or so ago. I think she forgot or maybe didn’t know that he and I had been seeing each other. She told me he was engaged,” Creed said.
“Damn,” Nate said.
“Yeah.”
Nate kept quiet. He could almost feel Creed reliving that painful moment and found that he longed to hold Creed close, do what he could to absorb some of that pain. Again, the kiss they’d shared earlier came to mind. He wanted to kiss Creed again and again and again, knowing he wouldn’t want to stop there once he got started.
Just as he worked up the courage to invite Creed into his bed, Creed said, “I think we should do some more searching in Tammy’s room tomorrow. Maybe we’ll find more evidence of her feelings about Kathy.”
“That’s a good idea. I’d love to know how she reacted to Kathy’s letter.”
“Me, too.”
Nate forced himself to relax and after a while he heard Creed’s breathing slow down and then become steady. Just as he was dozing off himself, he heard Creed begin snoring softly. Why should that comfort him? He had no idea why but it did.
When, at last he slept, he dreamed of his Aunt Tammy and Kathy Ross, clinging to each other, kissing passionately. And then it changed and he and Creed were kissing, touching, stroking each other.
“I want to make love to you,” he said to Creed in the dream.
Creed closed his eyes, swallowed hard. His voice trembled when he said, “I feel like I’ve been waiting for you all of
my life.”
Nate awoke with a start and sat up in the darkness. He was trembling from head to toe, his whole body on fire. The dream had felt so real he almost expected to find Creed in the bed beside him. But, no, the other man was still snoring softly, curled up in his sleeping bag.
A glance at his watch told him he’d been asleep about three hours. Nate sat there for a moment, tempted to wake Creed up and invite him into his bed for the second time that night. Instead, he lay back down and forced himself to go back to sleep, hoping the dream of being with Creed would continue.
Nineteen: Flirting with a Dream
The first thing Creed heard when he woke up the next morning, was Nate snoring softly. Without opening his eyes, he smiled, liking the idea of this handsome man sleeping nearby. When he did open his eyes, he saw that the windows were filled with gray dawn and then his gazed strayed to Nate.
Creed smiled again.
Nate’s dark hair contrasted vividly with the white pillow and his face was relaxed in sleep. The dark stubble covering his cheeks was even more prominent than it had been the night before. He simply lay there for a while watching Nate sleep. Sitting up, Creed closed his eyes and relived that brief, heart-stopping moment when Nate had kissed him the day before. Part of him wanted to crawl into bed with Nate and wake him in a very delicious way. Part of him knew he needed to control himself-and his emotions.
He’d felt ridiculous after telling Nate about Shane but afterwards, Creed really did feel as if his heart had healed from that. As if telling Nate about it was the last thing he needed to wash all of that pain away. Wipe the slate clean, in a sense. Of course, his attraction for Nate was helping with that as well. It was the first time he’d even had romantic thoughts about another man since Shane.
Before crawling out of his sleeping bag, he stretched. Moving quietly, he gathered his clothes and padded into the kitchen to start the coffee. He stood for a moment, looking out of the kitchen window at the back yard. The energy was there in the kitchen with him, as always. Instead of buzzing around playfully, it was more subdued this morning, as if just waking up.
“What do you think?” he asked the empty room. “Ae we on the right track with Tammy and Kathy?”
No answers came to him, not that he was expecting one but he knew someone or something was listening.
While standing under the spray of hot water in the shower, he let his thoughts drift to what they’d discovered the day before. Kathy and Tammy. Had they been lovers before Tammy disappeared? Had Tammy been confused by Kathy’s confession? Surely, Kathy wouldn’t have had anything to do with Tammy’s disappearance would she.
Of course, those thoughts led him to Nate. What would it feel like waking up in bed next to him? What would it feel like going to sleep in his arms? Creed realized he was going to have to get out of that shower soon or he would use up all the hot water. Still, his thoughts lingered, his hands bringing temporary relief from his growing desire for Nate. Kiss or no, they needed to take this slowly, carefully.
Dressing quickly, Creed returned to the kitchen. He put bacon in a skillet and poured himself a cup of coffee. Almost out of habit, he picked up the camera. This time, like watching an old movie, flickering, with lines and dots, the first thing Creed saw was that front door with two twenty-six. Tammy opened it and immediately looked tentative and upset. She spoke with someone, whoever was on the other side of that screen, shook her head several times. Finally, she stepped back inside the house to close the door.
And this time Creed saw something different. Something that made him gasp.
“Oh my God,” Creed whispered and sank into the closest chair.
This time the screen door opened with a sudden jerk and smoothing small and metallic flipped into the air. Tammy’s eyes widened and she looked down. And then she disappeared.
“Nate,” Creed said aloud. He had to show this to Nate. Rushing down the hall, back to the makeshift bedroom, he was saying Nate’s name before he even reached the door.
Nate was awake, sitting up and bed, preparing to get up.
“Thank goodness you’re awake,” Creed gasped. “There’s something-“
“How am I supposed to sleep with all those delicious smells coming from the kitchen,” Nate interrupted him, holding up a hand. His smile was easy, genuine.
Creed shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just a morning person.”
“Don’t be sorry. I love coffee and bacon and-”
This time Creed interrupted Nate. “There’s something different this morning” Creed held the camera out to Nate. “Something happened.”
Still sitting in bed, only covered to his waist with blankets, Nate gave Creed a curious look and took the camera from him. Creed paced back and forth, glancing at Nate from time to time, trying to gauge his reaction. What his eyes kept straying to, though was Nate’s bare chest, broad and well-developed and how it tapered to a flat tummy.
“I think that we’re witnessing what happened to Tammy,” Creed said when Nate placed the camera carefully on the floor beside the mattress without saying anything.
“Why? How?” Nate asked after a few minutes.
“I have no idea.” Creed shrugged. “Somehow that camera recorded what happened to her and she’s just trying to make sure we see it.”
“Then, why doesn’t she just tell us who did it? Or show us a picture or something?” Nate argued.
As if suddenly energized, Nate threw back the covers and stood up. Creed kept his eyes on the floor as he continued to pace. The last thing he needed was the distraction of seeing Nate nearly naked. He didn’t look up until he heard Nate’s zipper and the jingling of his belt buckle.
“Maybe she didn’t know who it was,” Creed said, finally able to look at Nate. Now Nate was wearing only jeans and Creed couldn’t decide if that was sexier than seeing him in his underwear or not.
“Why not just show us his face?” Nate ran both hands through his unruly hair as if that would tame it. The curls sprang right back up one by one.
“Maybe she can’t for some reason,” Creed said, worried about the skeptical look that had crept into Nate’s eyes. “Look, I don’t know how this works or even really what’s happening. Or why it’s happening to us.”
Nate relaxed somewhat, reached out and squeezed Creed’s shoulder. Then his gaze returned to the camera sitting on the floor. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t know any more than I do about what we’re dealing with here. But the only way I know how to deal with it is hard, cold facts.”
“Speaking of facts, I have a little digging to do while you drink your coffee,” Creed said.
“I’ll shower first,” Nate said. “That’ll give you time to do your research.”
“Okay,” Creed said, glad that Nate wasn’t blowing this off entirely. “Maybe we can put your dad’s mind at ease.”
“You never know,” Nate said, opening his duffle bag, pulling out clean clothes.
Creed turned to leave the room.
“And Creed-”
At the sound of Nate’s voice, Creed stopped, heartrate already increasing. He turned, ready to accept any offer Nate might make, whether that meant another thrilling kiss or returning to bed.
“Don’t eat all of the bacon,” Nate said with a wink. This time when he grinned that playful dimple appeared right beside his mouth, just begging for a kiss.
Creed grinned back and gave him a thumb’s up as he backed out of the room. He was unable to speak and his knees had turned to Jell-O. He was surprised he could even make it back to the kitchen. You’re going to have to get yourself under control, Creed thought as he steadied himself with both hands on the edge of the kitchen sink.
Finally, he poured a second cup of coffee and reached for the camera. Creed watched the scene being played out before him several more times. Then he opened his laptop and Googled a few names. Gilbert Rollins was listed as deceased which was disappointing. He made a note on his legal pad to see if the library had newspapers from that time period.
Maybe whoever tore these articles from the paper had missed one or two.
When he typed in Kathy Ross’s name, he smiled. She was now Kathy Ross Simpson, an artist living about fifty miles away, closer to the ocean in a town larger than Lost Creek. A town big enough to have tourism and an art gallery where her paintings were prominently displayed. He sat back in the chair and wondered if Nate would like to go see her.
“What are you smiling about?” That was Nate standing in the doorway. He was still wearing nothing but jeans and that lazy smile. His hair was wet and he’d shaved and even from where he sat, Creed caught a whiff of his clean scent.
“I found Kathy Ross,” Creed said. “Well, Kathy Ross Simpson.”
“You saved me some bacon, right?” Nate said, crossing the room to the coffee pot.
Creed laughed. “Yes, and the coffee is fresh and hot.”
“You’re a man after my own heart,” Nate said. He poured his coffee and then took a seat at the table across from Creed.
“Cream, no sugar. Right?” Creed asked, opening the refrigerator and reaching for the jug of creamer they’d bought at the store. He had to do something to keep himself occupied or he was going to simply throw himself at Nate.
“With a good memory and he’s a Google expert,” Nate said, laughing.
Creed laughed as well, relaxed and energized at the same time.
“So, we’re going to see Kathy Ross Simpson, right?” Nate asked, after taking a sip of his coffee.
Creed busied himself flipping the bacon and popping bread in the toaster. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“You bet,” Nate said, looking through the photographs of Tammy and Kathy once again. “I don’t think she knows what happened any more than anyone else but I feel like she could give us some insight into Tammy’s other relationships. Butch in particular. Or maybe Tammy had other boyfriends. We just don’t know.”
“Agreed, although, we can talk to Butch, too,” Creed said. “Oh, Gilbert Rollins, the reporter has passed away so we can’t talk to him.”
