by Nicky Jayne
Jumping out, I land in a freaking puddle. GODDAMMIT are you kidding me!
Slugging across the dirt road that has been well and truly churned up.
Wondering who could be in the truck, my guess is it’s one of three things: a weaseling man who’s too chicken shit to face me. A non-insurance holder, hoping to get away with a cash exchange. Or a guy who brought his girl out her to get her riled up and now can’t find is jeans, if you catch my drift.
I know damn straight that it ain’t some big ass guy who has the love for his truck like I do, or we would be in the middle of that road brawling over blame right now.
What I see when I pull open that door though stuns me, I mean it, knocks me on my ass.
Tapping on the glass a few times, I don’t get an answer. I can’t see any sign of life as the windows are heavily fogged up, so I try the door once. Nothing. I try it again, pulling it a little harder this time. It opens, but sat behind the wheel is the one person I have no desire to see. The one person who has my body parts all a tangle and my head all messed up. There’s a connection, I just don’t know what.
She looks as stunned as I do. Right there before me, is Riley Crass.
She fidgets. I’m making her nervous with my constant staring. Damn it, Tanner say something.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
I mentally scold myself for my lack of…well, whatever it’s called. Could I think of something else to say? No! Not me.
She look at me, squeezing her eyes together as she stares into me. It’s almost as if she thinks I’m up to something. Oh shit, hold up, does she think I followed her here? Before I’m able to say anything to her. She answers.
“Um, yeah…you?” I guess I’m not the only one who can’t think of shit to say.
Suddenly, with no warning, something amuses her, I wonder if she’s thinking the same thing that I am. That’d be kind of nice to know, at least I won’t be the only one around here.
“What’s so funny?” I ask, keeping my eyes locked on hers, but she doesn’t respond.
The silence is broken by the loud thundering above us and a crack of lightning, a string of lights in the sky now only minutes away from us. Damn it, this is getting bad fast, we need to get out of here.
I look long and hard at the sky, trying to gauge the best way out, because if you hadn’t noticed, we’re surrounded by tress.
“Um, we have to go,” she whimpers.
I catch her eyes as they look up to the dangerous looking sky. I grab for her suddenly, as another bolt cracks right above us. Her body reacts instantly to mine, she jumps out her skin. I smile at her trying to calm her down. A look of fear and aggravation covers her face.
The impending storm is getting worse and neither of the trucks are on. It’s time to get these things moving, now.
“Try and turn her over,” I yell at her, over the rumbling thunder.
She gives me a look of confusion. Then, as if a light bulb turns on inside her head, she figures it out, or at least I hope so.
I watch as she bends and stretches her body in to the large cab, trying to reach the key to try and turn it on, but with no luck. My eyes follow down her body, and a small patch of skin becomes visible just above her hip.
My eyes wander down in hope for what, I don’t know. She moves suddenly lining herself over the seat, she grabs the key. Mentally slapping myself, I run to my truck. Damn, where’s the cold water when I need it. Like I said before, this’s getting painful.
I can hear the ticking from her truck even when I get inside mine. This’s not how it was supposed to go, please don’t tell me I have to have this girl in my truck, I won’t survive that. She may very well claw my eyes out before we get anywhere. It’s not like my wandering eyes haven’t been noticed and if they haven’t, they sure as hell will be if she has to sit in my truck.
TICK, TICK, TICK.
I sigh and start my truck while she seems to be struggling. Grabbing my cap off the back seat, I haul ass across the slippery mud, trying to reach her without falling flat on my ass. Worst comes to worst, I can at least act like a damn gentleman, give her beast’s keys and she could go and get a tow truck or something. That’s the gentlemanly thing to do, right?
The rain drips off the bill of my cap. Which just happens to be my favorite cap. Nope, not thinking about it right now.
I make it to her side. She must’ve heard me coming, because she doesn’t jump this time. I’m kind of glad about that, she may have had a damn heart attack this time.
I watch as she slams her foot once more on the gas hard, and with a stutter and a spurt the truck starts. She probably flooded it. Okay, it’s time to get moving here.
“Where to?” I ask.
While she’s sitting there, working out the little plan she has in her head, I’m getting soaked and by the sounds that surround us, we don’t have much time before this storm is right on top of us.
I plead my with my eyes, scrunching my face as she looks at me.
“Meet me at Drove Park.”
Good lord, it speaks I’m about to say something about the distance, the weather, anything at this point, but the crack of a branch give the sly one enough time to push me out of the way and shut the door. I shake my head when she revs her engine a little. Okay, little lady, I get the message. I make it to my truck, smacking the dirt off my shoes on the running board. I slip beast into gear and flip a u turn just ahead of her. I may have put my foot on the gas just a little too hard, causing a spill of mud from the back tires. Childish, I know, but damn, she slammed the door on me. I smile at the childish behavior, it’s refreshing, a little different from playing war games you could say.
Pulling out, and heading towards the park, the rain comes belting down. I can see the mud that once coated my hood wash away slowly. Plowing through a puddle, the water splashes up and over the back, clearing enough of the dirt away for me to see that she’s still with me. Slowing down slightly, as the road before me begins to flood, but being the rebel I am, ha, that’s a joke, I fly through it. The tension and strain under the truck carries me slightly, but it feels good. So much power and I have complete control. I look back once more to watch this girl take that puddle like a champ, but I don’t see headlights. No, I see brake lights as she hauls ass in the other direction.
Slamming my foot on the brake, giving beast a little of a jerk, I flip around, hoping to catch up with this little run away.
Dammit, a red light. I can see her only feet away from me and I’m stuck at a damn light. Keeping my eyes fixed on her truck and not noticing the lights have changed, a loud horn comes from behind.
Slamming my foot on the gas, the truck does a little bit of a wheel spin, not too much, but enough to give me a shock and get me back in the game. As we get closer and closer to Mason’s, I think she may turn in there so I slow down getting ready to pull in, but she doesn’t, she carries on. Where the fuck is she going?
She isn’t speeding. I don’t think she’s trying to get away. Something spooked her. What, I don’t know, but it was enough to make her turn around. I wonder to myself whether I should even be following her at all.
There isn’t much damage to the trucks at all, barely a scratch. How, I don’t know. That being said, both trucks are heavily coated in mud so who knows what we’ll find when they’re cleaned.
Pulling the cap from my head, laying it on the passenger seat, I run my fingers through my damp hair, wiping my wet fingers on my jeans. With each mile that passes I’m backing off more and more. Should I just go back? The question has run through my head a thousand times in the last five minutes, but the curious part of me wants to see where she’s going. There’s something about Riley that I’m drawn to. I don’t know what. Whether it’s our family friendship, or well, my lustful feelings I don’t know. It’s just something.
She makes a left hand turn down ole Crown Street, heading towards the cemetery. Huh. Well, this’s strange. As we get closer, I see a car parked up just inside the gates. I kno
w that car. The beat up old ford Taurus sits with smoke pummeling out of its tail pipe. Pulling to the side of the road, I watch as Riley pulls her truck behind the ford. Marcie, inches from her car, walks briskly over to Riley’s truck. She stands for what only seems seconds, until her old, fragile body runs around to the passenger side door and jumps in. I can’t see what’s going on inside, but from the look on Marcie’s face it can’t be good. Dammit, Tanner what did you do?
Running my fingers through my hair again, I lay my head on the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. I try to think back to what I could’ve possibly done or said, but my mind comes up blank. There isn’t anything.
A small pain reaches my heart when I think of what she’s going through in that truck. Something must’ve hit her hard enough to have caused her pain. Marcie wouldn’t be here otherwise. I’m silently reassured though, if I was ever in a mess, Marcie would be the person I’d call. If she doesn’t have the answers, she always has as shoulder to lean on and cry into. Not that I do that kind of thing anymore, but I did once.
My hand grips the gear shift as I think about leaving. I feel like I’m invading her privacy. In all honesty, I couldn't care less about the damage to the truck. I only agreed to going somewhere with her so that I could spend some time with her…for what reason I don’t know. All I know is that in the short time that I’ve known this girl, there’s something about her that draws me to her.
Pushing the air out of my lungs, I straighten in the seat and my eyes fall on the scene across the street from me. I must’ve been resting my eyes a lot longer than I thought because there in the rain, holding a fragile form in front of a white marble stone, is Marcie.
Riley’s tucked into her body as they stand before the grave site. I struggle to breathe as I watch the sight before me. I‘ve been there, I’ve seen this first hand and I just can’t bear to think what she’s going through right now. No matter how many years that pass a death, the loss never leaves.
Just like the thunder bolt ahead of me, I remember. I understand. I know who she is. I know who he is. Dammit.
CHAPTER SIX
Riley
Sucking in all the air that I can, I try to no end, to push back the tears that continue to fall from my eyes as I think of him. The decal pops up in my mind over and over again. I can’t get it out of my head. Laid upon his body was the same symbol as we said our final goodbyes. Every one that wished us well and paid their respects, wore that symbol. How could I be so stupid?
Marcie answered on the first ring, she knows how hard today is for me, but she also knows that in some way I have moved on and it was getting easier…until him.
I was prepared to beg her to meet me, but the minute I spoke her name, she knew. She knew where I was going. Pushing through the traffic, I pull into the small street and can see his stone from here. My heart drops as I stare at it.
“I’m coming, Daddy,” I whisper.
Getting closer to the site, Marcie’s car comes into view. Damn, that women is fast. I wonder how many laws she broke getting here. I scoff at the thought, I remember her telling me once she had all the locals in her pocket. Pancakes for life kind of a thing. I love that women.
A tear drops as I pull up behind her, the minute I see her face I lose it all over again.
A rush of air, hits me as she opens the door. I can feel my body move, I can feel her hand on my head rubbing it back and forth. There are no words that need to be said here. She knows I just need time to process.
My body aches from shaking, from the tears that fall from my eyes. My body grows tired and I lay my body against hers.
“You okay, my sweet?” she whispers into my hair.
I shudder a sob, trying to find the words that I need to say. I shake my head back and forth in an effort to let her know that no, I’m not okay.
“Are you ready?” again she whispers.
One of the many things that Marcie taught me, was that I can’t hide behind the tears that fall, if I’m not willing to take what’s happened in my hand and move on. Look at the morning as a new start to a new day and take all that comes from it. Or I’d never be able to say goodbye.
“We don’t say goodbye Riley, we only say see you soon.”
Those words clench my heart and I push into her once more, needing to feel her strength.
I love my mom dearly, but there are just some things that my mother just can’t handle and me being in this state is one of them.
Clearing my throat, I lift my head to look at her. She smiles softly as her eyes meet mine. Her eyes don’t look any better than mine, but Marcie has a great way of saving her tears. She never sheds them in front of me.
“Okay,” I nod.
“Okay, one step at a time Riley. We can only go one step at a time. Now, let’s go and see your dad and then you can tell me what has you in this state,” her words sing to me, while she strokes the tears away from my eyes.
The cold air hits my cold damp face. It’s still raining, but only just as I get out of the truck. I round the front, and I notice a small scratch. Nothing too major, but it shoots a reminder through my body one that makes me grab for the truck to hold myself up.
Marcie jumps into action, just like she always has, gripping my body so we can take the small steps to the white marble stone.
“One step at a time, Riley,” she reminds me again.
The closer we get to the stone, the heavier my heart feels. No matter where I am, something always reminds me of him, but standing there, facing that rock with my body tight to Marcie's, my thoughts run from him to Tanner.
There’s something about that boy that has me all tangled up. I don't know what it is and I don’t want to find out. Because right there, standing there as proud as the sun breaking through the clouds in the morning, is the reason I can’t get involved. I could never do this again, I barely made it through the last time. I know I won’t next time.
A sudden cough comes from my side. I wait, knowing that she’s getting ready to say her piece. She always talks to dad when we visit. I hope she has some happy words to say this time. I want to smile and I don’t know if my eyes can take any more tears, they burn, raw and stinging.
“Crass, you old fool. Look what you’ve done to our girl. Bring her some peace will ya? Her mother and I can’t do this alone.”
As she scolds my father, I smile. She always did know how to keep him on his toes. Her hand rubs my back as she reaches for his stone, running her fingers over the top.
“Wish him well, baby girl, and let’s get you out of this rain. You’ll catch your death.”
I nod, and the words finally come to me. I know exactly what I’m going to say. We held each other, we loved each other, these words kept us together in a bond that no one will ever understand.
“You are my strength. I will wait for you, I will smile for you, I will think of you always. Visit me in my dreams, daddy. I love you.”
I turn in Marcie’s arms to walk away, when a black truck parked across the street from me grabs my attention. He followed me. A sudden rush of anger flows through my veins. Pulling myself from Marcie’s hold, she turns. Looking back at her, I scowl, having no words for him or why he is here. I point in his direction and her eyes follow my finger to the truck. I see the shock in her face before her body relaxes and a smile creases her older face. I’m confused by her reaction. Without even thinking about it, my hands land on my hips and I move to block her view.
“Who’s that, Marcie?” I snap harshly. I know who it is, I’d know that truck anywhere, but how does she know him?
Her hand falls to my shoulder as she tries to reach around and guide me back to the truck. My body turns rigid, I am not going anywhere.
“No, Marcie, who is he?” I snap again.
“Oh, baby girl, that’s Tanner,” she smiles.
Ok, well, yeah, I know that, but she obviously doesn’t know that I do. Who the hell is Tanner to her? I can feel a bout of protectiveness flow through me, but this is Marcie.
Everyone knows Marcie. I’m acting ridiculous and I know it.
I’m shocked to see him here, but I am furious that he followed me. How dare he?
“I’ve already met this Tanner guy Marcie, when he plowed his truck into Crass’.”
“He did what?” her voice jumps and her eyes turn to deer caught in headlights. She’s shocked…very shocked. Hmm, I wonder if he’s some golden boy. Maybe I could use this.
“He hit my truck, we were, well, we were supposed to meet and swap information, but he has a…” I stutter and stumble over my words, I know where this’ll lead if I continue. I’ve shed enough tears today.
I turn to look at the truck once more. When I do, I see him. He’s standing in front of the truck, his hands tucked inside his pockets, his head low.
What the hell’s he doing?
“Tanner!” she calls.
His head snaps up and smiles as Marcie signals him to come over. My mouth drops into one of shock.
“Marcie, no! Marcie, you don’t understand! MARCIE!” I snap when she begins to walk away. She stops dead in her tracks turning, with the most curious look on her face.
“Riley, what is it?”
“It’s him, Mar. It’s him. Have you seen his truck? He is the reason I’m here. Mar, please, I can’t be near him right now,” I’m rambling. I can’t seem to form a complete sentence. My eyes are drawn to him as he skulks slowly over to the truck. He follows the hood looking for damage.
I watch him intently as he runs his hands over where I noticed the scratch. Rubbing what I think is dirt onto his chin. He smiles and nods. Pulling out his phone, it seems he’s taking a picture.
“I know who he is, Riley. Tanner’s a good boy. He wouldn’t intentionally hurt you. When your dad passed, Tanner was already gone, he wouldn’t know I swear,” her head turns to the side as she speaks, pleading for me to believe her. I have no reason not to.
It wasn’t him that set me in this state, anyway. It was that thing on the back of this truck.
