“I’ll be here when you’re done,” Jeny tells me, smiling that beautiful smile she only gives me.
“Thank you.”
It’s lame, but I feel like something’s caught in my throat. She rented us a house, because she knew I’d need one. That means she has to move out of the C&C apartments, and leave her friends. I know it’s not forever, but it still feels like it is. Like this is the real beginning for us.
Jenysis
After Wayne was led out of the courtroom, his lawyer took me over to the clerk so I could give our new address to the court. It’s been two hours since I did that, and I’m going a little crazy right now. Knowing Wayne is so close to me, yet I can’t touch him, or kiss him…it’s, well, I won’t say torture…but it’s hard. I’ve never been able to not touch him if I wanted to, because even back when I wouldn’t admit things were serious, I always knew he was mine. And I was his.
“They’re about to bring him out,” Alesha tells me.
My gut reaction is that I like this woman, his lawyer. She seems to genuinely want to help him, and she’s friends with Stella and Tegan, so there’s that. Wayne needs someone to believe in him when they’re defending him in court, and I really believe that she does.
I stand, running my hands down my shorts to smooth them out. I took a lot of care with my appearance on the plane, not because Wayne cares how I look, but because the press will. It’s important for me to look like nothing’s wrong when I walk out of here with him, because between us, things are the same as they were before the police came to that hotel room door.
Wayne isn’t smiling when the guards lead him out. His jaw is clenched, and my own smile falters a little, wondering what happened to him since the courtroom. He doesn’t even try to touch me when he approaches us, and I’m starting to get a little worried.
We both listen as Alesha gives us instructions about what he can, and can’t do, without permission. He nods as I try to catch his eye, but fail. He flinches when I take his hand, but doesn’t pull away. At least I can be thankful for that.
“I’ve arranged for us to leave by the back door,” Alesha says, startling me.
“We’re not going to go out front?”
“The press is out front.”
“Exactly. Wayne has nothing to be ashamed of. We should be walking out there, and showing them that.”
“He needs to have a prepared statement.”
“No. He needs to be sincere, and not rehearsed.”
“I’m afraid we’re going to have to disagree, but ultimately, it’s up to Wayne. What do you think?”
He looks between us, and then nods at her. “Alesha knows best about these things. We’ll go out the back.”
I pull my hand away, and when he doesn’t stop me, I fight to remain calm. I remind myself that he’s going through something horrible, and that he needs my support. “Let’s go, then.”
Once outside, we get into the car Alesha arranged for us. “I’m just going to check out your place, and then I’ll leave the two of you alone.”
Wayne thanks her again for everything, but I don’t say anything. I’m trying not to be petty, but I’ve never had another woman besides Tegan come before me to him. And even with her, he once told her he’d choose me before her. While I understand he needs Alesha in court, he’s just taken her side over me, and I don’t like it.
I texted the management company for our house on the drive over, and a representative is at the gates, opening them for us when we pull up. After we’ve parked in the circular driveway, we all get out to greet him. And yeah, Wayne holds the door for Alesha while the driver gets my door. Maybe this whole thing is a bad idea; not just the living together, but all of it.
I talk to the property manager, and get the keys while they go inside and look around. I only saw pictures of this place, and I thought Wayne and I would discover it together, but I guess nothing’s going to go as planned today. I really hate that I’m being jealous and petty, but I just can’t seem to stop myself.
“Everything looks great. I’ll see you in a couple of hours,” he says to her when they come back outside.
“What?” I ask, not even hiding my annoyance.
“We need to go over things. I invited Alesha to join us for dinner. You don’t mind, do you?”
Yeah, I fucking mind. “Of course not. See you later.”
“I’m going to grab a shower,” he tells me once she’s driven away.
I watch him walk inside, not even asking me to join him. Wayne and I have never showered separately when we’ve been together. I can’t even count how many events we’ve been fashionably late too because of it. Yet, he just left me out here. I’m not imagining things—he really doesn’t want me anymore. I always knew this day would come, but now that it’s here, I don’t know what to do.
4
Wayne
I let the asshole guard get into my head. What he said about my girlfriend not wanting a rapist to touch her, about how she’ll leave me when things get hard. Even though I didn’t rape anyone, I let his words guide my actions, and now I don’t know what to do.
I’m showering alone, and I invited someone else to dinner with us. I haven’t even kissed Jenysis in days, and I didn’t try anything with her. Nothing. That’s not how I am with her, ever. If my mouth isn’t on her, or my dick isn’t inside of her, I’m at least holding her hand, or rubbing her back. Always touching her in some way. Always.
I wrap a towel around myself before walking out of the bathroom, because I might as well go all in with my unusual behavior. I’m glad I did, because Tegan is standing in front of me, her arms crossed over her chest, and a glare on her face.
“Well, this could’ve been awkward.”
“I’ve seen you naked, Wayne.”
“Not since you got married, and had a kid.”
“True, but it wouldn’t have mattered.”
I still slide my briefs under the towel, pulling them on before I drop it, and reach for my jeans. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“You told me you would always choose Jen over me.”
“I did.”
“You love her.”
“If you’re just going to keep stating the obvious, you could’ve called.”
“I had to bring her clothes and stuff to her.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“Thanks? She’s putting her stuff in a guest room, and all you have to say to me is ‘thanks’?”
“Shit.”
“That’s better.”
“Things are kind of messed up right now.”
“Really? Because taking someone else with you to look at the house you’re going to share seems perfectly cool to me.”
“It was just Alesha.”
“I don’t care if it was Mother Theresa. Yes, Alesha is cool and all, but come on. You left your woman outside to check out your house with someone else. The house she rented, sight unseen, so you could be released from jail. Think about that for a minute, Wayne. I mean, really think about that.”
“I hurt her.”
“No. That’s not strong enough for what you did to her. I wouldn’t have even left her alone, but Sierra and Harlow came with me, and they’re taking care of her. That’s your job by the way, since you don’t seem to realize it.”
I try one last lame attempt to explain my shitty actions. “I’m the one going to trial for rape, and wearing a damn ankle monitor.”
“And she’s standing by you through it all. Have you even seen the press conference she did back home? Or thought about how things with the Society will be harder for her without easy access to her friends? You know she’s trying to immerse herself into being American.”
“She has me to help her.”
“Does she? Because from what she’s said, and the way you’re not really trying to defend yourself, I think we both know she doesn’t think that’s an option right now.”
“I know I need to fix this, but I don’t know where to start.”
“Call your lawyer and tell her to forget about dinner tonight. That’s where you start.”
“You’re right.”
“That happens sometimes.”
“Thanks, Teeg. For everything.”
She knows I mean for that to include pushing me away, and telling me I wasn’t really in love with her. I thought I was, but I wasn’t, and I needed her tough love. I met Jeny soon after, and now I know what love is. I just fucked up royally, and it’s a physical hurt I’m feeling right now, thinking about what I did to her.
I follow Tegan out of the master bedroom, past the living room, and down the hall on the other side of the house. This place is pretty damn awesome, and the truth is, I didn’t look around with Alesha. We got to the front hall, and I stopped her from going farther. Because, this is my house with my girl, and I wanted to see it with her first. I was too caught up in my mind to tell her that, and I knew she thought I saw it all, but now I need to tell her I haven’t, and I want to look it over with her.
When we enter one of the other bedrooms, I stop short. Not because of the suitcases and clothes piled on the bed, but because of the conversation between the women in the room.
“How about Zaba’s?” Sierra asks.
“Yum. I love their burritos,” Harlow adds.
“Wherever is fine,” Jenysis replies with a shrug of her shoulder.
“Fine for what?” I ask, stepping into the room.
“We’re deciding where to go for dinner,” Harlow tells me, her eyes sad.
“And then where to go get our groove on after,” Sierra says, her eyes cold enough to freeze fire.
“We’re not going dancing,” Jenysis tells her with a sigh. “I can’t go out without Wayne. How would that look?”
She’s thinking about me, even though I hurt her. My heart feels like it’s going to bust out of my chest, but it also feels like it’s breaking, too. “You’re not eating here?”
“I figured you and Alesha would want time alone to discuss things.”
“I’m going to tell her not to come over tonight.”
“Don’t do that. You need to talk about your case.”
“I want to spend time with you, Jeny girl.”
I want to take her into my arms, but I’m still scared that she’s disgusted by me. I know she’s angry, and disappointed in me, but I couldn’t handle her pushing me away because I disgust her in a physical way. So, coward that I am, I stay rooted to my spot by the door.
“I can’t move out, since I told the court I’d be living here, so you’ll see me.”
Damn it! I need her to know—to believe—how much she means to me. I had finally convinced her, but now I’ve gone more than two steps back. “When your friends go, can we at least take a tour of this place. I’d like to see what all we’ve got going on.”
She physically startles, and her mouth falls open as she blinks before speaking. “You saw it all with Alesha.”
“No,” I tell her, shaking my head. “We talked for a few minutes in the front hall, but I was waiting to see it with you first.”
“Really?” she asks, and the hope in her eyes nearly kills me on the spot.
“She’s my lawyer, Jeny. Just my lawyer. I know I acted like an ass, and yeah, I probably should’ve talked to the press like you wanted me to, but my life is in her hands. Or at least my freedom. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was discounting you, or taking her side over yours. There’s only one side for my case, but for everything else, no one comes before you.”
“You opened her door and not mine. You went inside with her. You—you invited her to dinner tonight.”
“Well, she invited herself, but yeah. I agreed. I honestly wasn’t thinking clearly when I did those other things. Not until I stepped in the door here, and realized how wrong it was. I’m so sorry.”
“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” Harlow says, physically pulling a still glaring Sierra from the room. Tegan nods, and follows them out.
“My clothes won’t all fit in this closet.”
“There’s a giant one in our room.” Yeah, I said “our.” I’m hoping she picks up on it, and knows I mean it.
She plays with the cuffs of her little jumpsuit while still looking away from me. “I said all of those other things were what bothered me, but really they’re not. I mean, they are, but they aren’t the big things.”
I know what the big things are, and I’m going to be man enough to admit them. “The shower.”
“Yes.”
“I haven’t really touched you.”
“Give the man a prize.”
“I haven’t put my mouth on you. Not on your lips, your neck, your tits, or on that sweet pussy of yours.”
“You haven’t, no.”
“I can’t right now.”
“Because you don’t want me anymore. I always worried that if I let you really catch me, you’d lose interest.”
“Jeny, no.”
“You should figure out dinner. The cupboards are full if you want to cook, or I guess you can order out and answer the door. I’m going to try to get settled in here.”
“Baby.”
“Just go, Wayne. Please.”
I don’t want to, but I do it. I step back and let her close the door on me. I hear her sob, but I clench my hands into fists instead of reaching for the door like I want to. I have done nothing but fuck up today where the woman I love is concerned, and I need to step back and think before I do anything else.
Jenysis
After I sent Wayne away, I let myself cry. I ugly cried until I had nothing left in me. Or at least that’s the way it felt. I got it all out, because I needed to, but then I shook it off for the moment. I showered, and put my hair in a messy bun, while dressing in a loose tunic and leggings with paper airplanes all over them. A little whimsy for my day of sadness.
I’ve been hiding in my room, trying to concentrate on some of my studies, but I’ll admit that when I heard the doorbell ring for the third time a minute ago, I wanted to pull my hair out. Who else is here now? Or did he order them more than one meal, or maybe dessert?
The knock at my door surprises me, but I get up to answer it anyway. “Hey, girl,” Stella says, kissing my cheek as she walks by. Kevin follows her in, carrying a bag from Zaba’s, along with a drink, and I can’t help smiling.
“You brought me dinner? Thanks.”
“Kace and Brett brought over Wayne’s guitar and his other stuff. The girls told me you probably hadn’t eaten, so we stopped for you. Now, my question for you is, why aren’t you out there in the living room with Wayne and Alesha?”
“They have stuff to discuss.”
“Stuff that affects you,” she reminds me as she runs her hands over the clothes in my closet. “It looks like the Ted Baker store moved in.”
“You know I love it.”
“Yes, and since it suits you, I don’t bother you. One day, I’ll break you out.”
I look down, and smirk. “I’m not wearing a stitch of it now.”
“It’s a start.”
“We’re not really going to hide in here like we crashed the cool kids party, are we?” Kevin asks.
“We are the cool kids,” Stella reminds him.
“Yes, but I want to hear what’s going on out there.”
“Jen?”
“Fine. I’ll put on my big girl panties, and scope out the competition.”
“Oh honey, if you think there’s any competition for you as far as Wayne is concerned, there really is a problem.”
I smile at Stella, but refrain from telling her that she wasn’t here—or at the courthouse—earlier, when everything went down. Following them down the hall, my food and drink in my hands, I freeze when I hear Alesha ask Wayne to play something for her. Kevin and Stella stop to look at me with wide eyes as well. We all wait for his answer, which comes rather swiftly.
“The only woman I play my guitar for off stage is Jenysis, and usually it’s for her when I’m up there, too.”
“Isn’t she a little uptight for that?”
I start to squeeze my drink hard enough for the top to pop off, and Kevin grabs it from me before it spills on the floor. I use my free hand to hold Stella back, shaking my head at her. This is my fight, and while I may not have a chance to win it, I have to at least try.
“I know how to relax,” I say, walking into the room with my head held high.
“I didn’t mean to insult you.”
“Yes, you did, but it’s okay. I’d want Wayne, too, if I didn’t have him.”
“I…that’s not…I mean…I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. I just wanted to see how committed he was to you, because that will play into the way I defend him.”
“I hope you figured it out, because if you insult her again, I’ll be finding another lawyer. I don’t care how good you are.”
Wayne got to his feet while he said all of that, and the look on his face is a little scary. I want to wrap my arms around him, but he said he can’t touch or kiss me, which means I can’t do that to him, either. No matter how badly I want to. I settle for chewing on my bottom lip as I look at him. I’ve never pictured him as fierce, but the look on his face is strong and sure as he defends me.
“There’s no doubt in my mind that you’re completely and totally loyal to Jenysis.”
“Good. I think it’s time for all of you to leave now.”
“I’d be insulted if I didn’t know you hadn’t been stuck in that cell without your girl for the last few days,” Kace tells him with a chuckle.
“Bye now,” Wayne tells him, making a shooing motion.
5
Jenysis
“I saved you some pizza, but I guess you got food,” Wayne says, once everyone is gone.
“Yeah.”
“You should eat. Then we can take that tour of the house.”
“We need to talk.”
“Eat first,” he says, and I can hear the nervousness in his voice.
“Okay.” I sit on the couch, and he looks conflicted for a moment before dropping into one of the chairs. Away from me.
Society Girls: Jenysis Page 4
