by Ruby Rowe
“Please say something.” She sobs again, and I’m trapped in a cramped, dark space where strobe lights flash and speakers blast metal music I can’t decipher. What I wished for with Liam has now blinded me and knocked the air from my lungs.
“Ellis, all my life I’ve had to protect those I love. It’s all I’ve known, so that’s what I did. By the time I remembered we’d slept together and believed I could trust you, it seemed too late to confess, but I never meant to hurt you.”
“I thought I could trust you, too, but I was wrong. It’s over, and I wish I never fucking met you.”
I hear her come off the bed. “You take that back.” Jerking open the door, I storm out. “I mean it!” she shouts. “For Liam, you take it back right now!”
In the middle of the hallway, I fall to my knees. I sit back on my legs and struggle to take one agonizing breath. She steps in front of me, and I stare at her balled fists.
“You can be furious with Tony and me, but don’t you dare think of taking it out on that sweet boy.”
“Get out of my face, Camilla. You’re no longer the only one who’ll make decisions where he’s concerned.”
“What does that mean?”
“Go back to your room.”
“You’re going to take him from me. I knew it. It’s another reason I couldn’t tell you the truth.”
“I can’t believe you still think that. Get out of my face.” Wailing again, she stomps back to her room and slams the door behind her. Another door opens, and I look up to see Beatrice leaving Liam’s room.
“Mr. Burke, is everything OK?”
“Go to bed, Beatrice. I’m sorry we woke you.”
Nodding, her head lowers as she scurries into the spare room across from Liam’s. I stand and walk down to his bedroom. Pressing my palm to his door, I listen in the silence to hear if he’s awake. There’s not a sound other than the thundering in my ears.
“I don’t regret you, Liam. I could never regret you.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Camilla
As I open and close my dry mouth to moisten it, I place a hand on the bed and work my way up to a standing position. I’m alone in the room, one that’s spinning, and I’m about to hurl, so I look for a door to a bathroom and run there fast, just making it to the toilet in time.
After vomiting, I drop to the floor in front of the commode and rest my head against the cool porcelain. It’s a gross thing to do, but I’m too sick to care.
Once I throw up two more times, I drag myself up off the floor and pee. While washing my hands, I stare at death in the mirror and try to remember what happened last night, but I can only recall bits and pieces.
Why did I think I could help Tony without consequences? Dishonesty brings Karma, and the choice I made must be the definition for rock-bottom desperation. It was made from an urgency to save my sister.
Cupping my hand, I catch water from the sink to rinse out my mouth, and after pulling up the straps to my chemise, I leave to find Tony. I know the lunatic drugged Ellis and me, and he better be in this house somewhere so I can confront him.
I amble to the family room first and roll my eyes over the number of people passed out on the floor and furniture. There are strippers, who Tony likely has on his payroll, and I only recognize one from Octavia. Hell, for all I know, they may be prostitutes.
Since the house is quiet, I stumble back down the hallway to Tony’s bedroom, where I left my purse and dress last night. I crack open the door and see from a shape under the covers that he’s in bed.
Anger festers as I think about how he left me drugged in one of his spare bedrooms all night. What if he had killed Ellis and me? Would he even care?
Walking to his bed, I spot his brown hair peeking out, so I yank back the comforter.
“You son of a bitch,” I breathe. Rolling from his stomach to his side, he opens one eye and looks up at me. “I wouldn’t roll over any farther unless you want to squish the bitch next to you, which would be fine with me.”
Like it’s no big deal, he glances behind him and moves his leg around to feel for another set. “Seriously?” I ask.
“This is nothing,” he replies through a yawn.
“Wow, you having sex with someone else means nothing?” The blonde whimpers and rolls away from him.
“I don’t recall us ever saying we were exclusive, and besides, when I opened the door to the spare bedroom late last night, you were sleeping pretty damn close to my brother.”
“That was because we were drugged, you asshole. Admit that you put something in our champagne.”
Sitting up at the side of his bed, he sighs. He’s naked, and for the first time ever, it repulses me.
“OK, I did it, but it was necessary. I couldn’t take a chance of you letting him out of that room. Although, a lot of good it did me. I couldn’t find what I wanted, and I’ll probably end up dead because of it.”
Wrapping an arm around my stomach, I inhale slowly to ward off the sadness and shame setting in. It was all for nothing.
“I can’t believe you did this.”
“I didn’t think you’d realize it, so I didn’t see the harm.”
“You could’ve killed us by mixing a drug with our alcohol.”
Looking to the floor, he ruffles his hair.
“It was just a little GHB. A bad hangover and possibly memory loss was all I was shooting for.”
I smack him hard across the cheek, and his head slings to his right. He brings it back to face me, along with a glare. The slut next to him sits up, and her ginormous fake boobs bounce in the process.
“What’s going on?” she asks.
“Nothing, baby.”
“Baby?” I snarl. “Has he slept with you before?” I ask her, with my hand firmly planted on my hip.
“Don’t answer that,” Tony interjects.
“I hate you, and I don’t want one cent of your goddamn money.” Stomping to the bench at the foot of his bed, I grab my burgundy dress and pull it over my head, not bothering to remove my lingerie. I pick up my purse and spot the envelope that I already know is full of cash.
I stare down at it and think about Sasha. It’s so tempting. I could take it right out of this room and never look back … but I would look back and often. I’d think even worse of myself for the sick scheme I partook in.
“Take it,” he says. “I know you need it.”
Pulling out the envelope, I toss it on his bed.
“I need my dignity more.”
“You’re a stripper, Camilla. I think you lost your dignity a long time ago.”
“Heyyyyy,” the blonde whines, “I strip, too.” God, I want to rip those pouty lips right off her face.
“Fuck you, Tony.” I say.
He shakes his head. “If you breathe a damn word about this to anyone, you’ll pay for it.”
“Don’t worry, I’m going to forget you ever existed.”
***
My throbbing head wakes me from a dreadful dream, but then I revisit reality, which is much more devastating. I open my eyes, but strands of hair block my view, so I try to move them. A chunk is stuck to my cheek from crying myself to sleep.
My alarm clock reads 7:00 a.m., which means Liam will be up soon since his internal clock couldn’t care less that it’s a Sunday.
From thinking about him and Ellis, tears rush to the surface, but I can’t break down again, fearing I’ll never get out of this bed if I do.
Instead, I trudge to the bathroom and take a shower. Tears come again, and I can’t combat them this time, so while I weep, I let the water rain on my head.
My heart is broken, and knowing I shattered Ellis’s makes it ache worse. What will he do now? Will he make us leave? Make only me leave? He implied he wouldn’t, but he still holds the power.
I dry off and pad to my bedroom. Spotting a note resting on the comforter, I freeze. I’m sure it’s from him, and I’m terrified of what it could say. Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I will my feet
to step forward.
Camilla,
I want you to leave this morning. I booked a room for you and Liam at Embassy Suites and paid for an early check-in. They have an indoor pool Liam would enjoy, so pack him some swim trunks.
I’m leaving town at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, and you can return to the house after that. Don't even think about running, or the promise I made to not take Liam will be void. I WILL find you if you try anything stupid.
Crumpling the note in my hand, I fall over on the bed and bury my face against it. Hearing his cold tone through his callous words springs forth heavy tears. He’s done with me–with us.
Maybe he’ll find it in himself to forgive me, or maybe he won’t, but in the meantime, I’ll do what I do best; I’ll pick myself up and take care of my child. I’ll go through the motions of surviving like I’ve done all my life.
I was foolish to think I deserved a better life, but Liam deserves greatness and then some. He’s the innocent one in all this, and at least I know Ellis will be a good father and provide for him. I’ll never have to worry as to how I’ll put food on the table. Not for him, anyway.
I dress and pack an overnight bag before I walk down the quiet hallway. The door to the room Beatrice sleeps in is open, and the bed is neatly made, so I assume she already left this morning.
I slip into Liam’s room, and as I rummage through his dresser drawers, I hear him stirring.
“Momma...”
“Hi, sweetie.” Turning to him, I force a smile. “I have a surprise for you. We’re going on an adventure.”
He rubs his eyes with his small fists and grins.
“Where we going?”
“To a hotel. It’s this great big building where people have sleepovers, and there’s even a swimming pool inside. Would you like to go swimming like we do in the summer?”
Clapping, he jumps off his bed. “I wanna wear my superhero swim trunks Boss got me.”
“Sure, you can wear them.” Swallowing down the hurt, I escape to his closet, where I find one of his backpacks and stuff his clothes inside.
When I come out, I hear him in his bathroom, peeing like a fire hose, and I can’t help but snicker. I stroll inside to ensure he brushes his teeth and to gather some items for our short trip.
He stomps his feet onto the bench in front of his sink and turns the water on for a whole two seconds to wash his hands. While I’m squirting toothpaste on the bristles, he holds up a small container of dental floss.
“Boss says I have to fwoss when I wake up, before bed and after I eat. He’s gonna take me to the dentist.” Pulling out a foot-long string of floss, he holds it over his front teeth and moves it back and forth. Leave it to Ellis to teach him the benefits of good oral hygiene.
“OK, let’s finish up so we can go.” Dropping the floss, he says, “Hooray,” and I hand him his toothbrush.
Once we’re packed, we walk downstairs, and I don’t see anyone, but I hear snoring coming from the family room. Crap, from all that happened, I forgot Greyson was here. At least he’s still breathing.
Needing to be quiet, I decide we should eat breakfast in the car, so I pour milk in a travel cup for Liam and find some fruit and breakfast bars. I think about our stay in the hotel and pack a small cooler of snacks and drinks so I don’t have to waste money on junk food from a vending machine.
After shushing Liam a half-dozen times, we make it to the front door, where I grab my purse and keys off the table.
“No, Momma, I forgot my Ninja Turtles and my truck.”
I sigh, aware that I need to let him take some toys. We can only swim and watch movies for so long. Setting our stuff down by the door, I walk Liam back up the staircase. Reaching the top, I wait at the gate while my little one trots to his room.
A minute has passed when Ellis steps out of his office to my right and freezes. Liam darts from his room next and is coming toward us with his toys piled up in his arms. Ellis quickly turns his back on us and starts walking to his office.
“Boss, want to go to the hotel wif us? They have a pool.”
Ellis’s head lowers to his chest, and he stops again.
“I can’t today, Liam. You have fun for me.”
“Ellis, please … turn around,” I beg.
“I can’t.” In a heartbeat, he’s out of sight, retreating to his safe place, where he works too much so he’s not forced to face his troubles and pain.
He can’t run from this and be a good parent at the same time. I hope he realizes it and doesn’t punish Liam for my and Tony’s poor decisions.
I’ll give him a day, a few even, but then we’re talking about the future. I’m not giving up on us that easily. I love him and will fight for him, and even if he rejects me, I’ll still be in Liam’s corner, ensuring that Ellis shows him the love he deserves. I’ll never stop protecting my child. Never.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Greyson
“Go awayyyy,” I yell and groan after the doorbell rings twice. Fuck, my head might combust. The bell rings again. Who’s at my door on a Sunday morning?
I sit up, and shit, I’m not at home. Right … Ellis’s … gala of bitches … Pappy Van Winkle … drunkfest. There’s a pounding on the door next, so I get up and stumble my way to it. I swing it open and dammit.
“Why the hell aren’t you in rehab?” I ask Sasha. Her gaze averts in an instant.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Answer the question.” Recalling the physical state I’m in, I run a hand through my messed-up hair.
“I can’t talk about it with you.” Lifting her eyes, she stares into mine, and I’m surprised by their brightness. She looks a hell of a lot better than she did the last time I saw her. Pretty even.
Her brown hair’s back in a ponytail, and thin strands of it are shaping her filled-out cheeks. It’s good to see less of that hollow look I stared down at the night I carried her out of her apartment. She lifts her eyebrows. “Can I come in? I need to speak to my sister. She’s not answering her cell.”
I step aside so she can enter. “Of course, but this conversation isn’t over.” I raise my eyebrows back at her as she sets down her two suitcases. “Understood?”
“I found out you’re the one who paid for my rehab stay, and thank you for that. It was extremely generous, but it was crazy, too, especially when you don’t even know me. I couldn’t run up a higher bill.”
“Who the fuck’s here?” Ellis shouts, his voice booming throughout the hall. Sasha jumps and recoils, so I scowl and turn around to find out what his problem is. He’s coming down the staircase, and is that a bottle of booze in his hand?
“Ellis, what are you doing? Where’s Camilla and Liam?”
“I sent them away.”
Shit, this isn’t good. Stumbling, he grabs the railing about eight steps from the bottom. He’s in only a pair of sweats, and this is too much for me to deal with while I have a killer hangover.
“Be careful before you injure yourself again.”
“Where’s Camilla?” Sasha asks, sounding panicked.
“Who is that?” Ellis replies, stretching his head out to see, and before I know why the hell I’m doing it, I shield Sasha behind me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Ellis drunk in a long damn time and never drunk and angry simultaneously.
“Stay put,” I whisper to her. “Where’s Camilla, cuz?”
“At a hotel.” Holding up his bottle, he points it toward the door beside me. His eyes stare off like they could show me the way.
“Why is that?” He’s in front of me now, trying to focus on my face. He looks like shit. We’re a goddamn pair, and Sasha’s going to wonder why she’s the one who was sent to rehab.
“You haven’t heard the news?” he asks, slurring every word.
“No, tell me.”
“Even dead in the cold ground, my brother’s a dick. The fucking bastard.” Damn, and like always with Ellis, this is going to take a while. I turn to face Sasha.
“Can
you wait in the kitchen or living room?”
She crosses her arms and steps around me.
“I want to know where Camilla and Liam are.”
Ellis’s eyes widen for a second before he glowers.
“How did you get through the gate?”
“I’m Camilla’s sister, so of course they let me in. Now, where is she?”
“Why did you–you leave rehab? Did you come to tell me lies, too?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I found out the life-altering secret.” Struggling to bring the bottle up to his face, Ellis takes a long drink, so I jerk it from his hands.
“Tell us, Ellis. What news?”
“Tony drugged me a long, long time ago. He drugged Camilla, too.”
“You know?” Sasha asks before she covers her mouth.
I grab the back of my neck. “Somebody tell me what’s happening.”
“Long story short–Liam’s my kid.”
Sasha gasps. “I told her I thought you could be the father.” Pointing at her, Ellis squints.
“She knew all along, didn’t she? Camilla’s nothing but a liar.”
“Ellis, she didn’t remember you had slept together until right before I left for rehab, and she didn’t think it was possible that you were Liam’s father. She always believed it was Tony.”
“You had met Camilla before?” I ask, shaking my head.
“Yes. She was always the lady in red; the woman from my dreams.”
Shit, this is gettin’ weird and personal. “Sasha, can you give us a minute? I’ll find out where Camilla is.”
“Fine. Um, I’m really tired after the long bus ride. Could I lie down for a while?”
“No, she can’t,” Ellis spouts, so I give him a shove.
“Stop being a dick. Kitchen now. I’ll make us some coffee. Sasha, there are spare bedrooms upstairs. Just pick one.” Ellis wanders off, mumbling shit, so I rub my hand over my hair.
