by Ruby Rowe
“You bought a new couch? When? How? The old one was here last night.”
“There was a half hour to spare before the furniture stores closed, so I drove down there and bought one they had in stock. That’s why I left work early today. I needed to be here while it was delivered.”
She turns her head to me, and instead of the grin I’m expecting, she pierces me with a look of disgust.
“I can’t believe you just ran down to the store and bought a sectional like it was no big deal whatsoever. This couch had to cost thousands of dollars. Look at it.” She waves her arms toward it.
“Yeah, I see it, and I thought I’d get a different response from you. I did it so you wouldn’t mind sitting on it. I was trying to be considerate after what happened with Whitney the other night.”
“So, you went out and bought a sectional?”
“Yes, I believe we established that.”
“You could’ve had the old one steam cleaned or something. You don’t go buy a new couch.” Sasha stomps to her bedroom, and this chick makes me crazy.
I get right on her heels, and about the time she goes to slam her bedroom door, I catch it. Shit, she’s really going to freak in a second.
Yep, here goes… She spins around. “Is this my surprise?” She points toward the fifty-inch flat-screen television hanging on the wall.
“I thought you’d be happy since you like watching television so much. I mean, you can still hang out on the couch, but this way you can watch TV when you’re in here lounging.”
Sitting down on her bed, her foot taps, and she drags her teeth over her bottom lip. “Talk to me, Sasha. I’m not gettin’ what’s happening here.” Her eyes fill with tears, and if there was ever a woman I didn’t understand, it’s this one.
“I felt lucky whenever Camilla would surprise me with a twelve pack of generic Dr. Pepper. This is the first bed I’ve slept alone in since I was a teenager. I always shared one with Camilla, and once Liam was born, I moved to the couch.”
Walking over to the bed, I sit next to her.
“You’ve been sleeping on a couch for years?”
“Yes,” she whispers, “and can you please go. This is humiliating.”
I scratch the back of my head. “It’s not a lot of money to me. I can’t help that I was privileged growing up, and I won’t apologize for having worked hard to maintain that wealth.”
Falling back on her bed, she covers her face with her hands. Her dress rides up, and I can’t help but admire her attractive legs. Her hands drop to the mattress, so I hurry and look up.
“I’m sorry I seemed ungrateful. Thank you for the television … for everything you’ve done for me. It’s an adjustment to see how wealthy people live, so I was surprised that you made this happen so fast. What you spent on that sectional could keep me in a crappy apartment for six months.”
Lying on my side next to her, I prop my head up.
“You don’t need a crappy apartment. You have an awesome place to stay for as long as you need.”
“As much as you want me to be, I’m not a shield for your inevitable future. You’re getting engaged, and we both know I can’t stay here once that happens.”
Like she always does, she turns her head away from me. “And the fact that news upsets me so much means I need to leave sooner rather than later.” I shouldn’t do it, but I grab her hand and lace our fingers together.
I’m surprised when she lets me. “Look, I’ll make a deal with Whitney. I’ll get engaged but only if she agrees that you stay here until we’re married.
“That way you’ll have plenty of time to save up the money to move into your own place. Hell, I’ll buy a small house and give you a cheap price on it.”
She shakes her head like she can’t believe the words coming out of my mouth, and I can’t believe my current behavior, either. Looking back at me, she yanks her hand away.
“Having to move wasn’t the part that upset me so much. Now, thank you again for dinner, the television, the job, the everything, but will you please get out? Your mixed signals are company I can’t keep.”
She’s right. Not only is she in recovery, I’m getting engaged. I’m flirting with her and disaster. It’s my engagement she’s upset about, and at least that makes two of us now.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Ellis
“You seem nervous,” Camilla says to me as she buttons Liam’s khakis. He did try to do it first, but the pants are new and stiff, and his little fingers couldn’t do it, so he became frustrated and is irritable now.
“Sit down so I can help you get your shoes on.”
“Those hurt my feet,” he whines. He’s wearing a matching dark brown polo shirt, and I’m having flashbacks to my youth.
“Let him wear his play clothes and socks if he wants.”
Camilla stands and studies me. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“I’ve come to realize he can be brought up differently than how I was raised. He’s already a happier kid than I was at his age.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Liam learning that there are times we dress more formally out of respect for the occasion or our company. I’m suspecting your change of heart on this matter might have more to do with your defiance against your parents.”
“And I think you need a punishment for challenging my request and for knowing me so well.”
“Momma, Boss-Daddy is going to get you in trouble if I can’t just wear my socks. You should wisten to him 'cause he’s the boss.”
I throw my head back in laughter, and Liam joins in, even though he doesn’t understand why. As much as Camilla doesn’t want to, she finds it funny, too.
“You’re going to look nice to meet your grandmother and grandfather, so I will happily accept my punishment.” She flashes me a look, and the craving I can’t shake for her intensifies.
“Ah, maaan,” Liam says.
“You win some, you lose some, kid,” I reply. “Behave tonight, and I’ll take you to the bookstore tomorrow to pick out a new book.”
“I like the toy store better, and they have books there, too.”
“Have you ever been in a toy store?” Camilla asks.
“Not since I was a child.”
“I’ll show you,” Liam says. “You’ll have fun when you buy me toys.”
This kid’s a riot. “Are you listening to him?”
“Yes,” Camilla replies. “I see your training is working. He’s already learned his father’s manipulation skills.”
“And I see his momma wants extra spankings.”
Hurriedly, she covers Liam’s ears. “Watch it please. I don’t want him to think you punish me for real.”
“Oh, but I do, and after the last time in the playroom, I can hardly keep a lid on my urges.” The doorbell rings. “My parents are here.”
As my feet hit the marble floor in the hall, my heart thuds fast. I don’t know why I’m nervous since I’m certain my parents will love Liam. I think I’m concerned over what they’ll think about my parenting. My brief experience sure hasn’t made me an expert.
After I take a deep breath, I open the door.
“Mother, Father, welcome.” As they walk in, my mother kisses my cheek, and my father gives my shoulder a squeeze. Camilla and Liam are standing several feet behind me.
I turn around, and he’s gripping her leg. “Liam, I want you to meet my mother and father, your grandparents.”
“Oh, he’s so precious,” Estella says. Her heels tap against the floor as she rushes over to meet him. Liam’s face is scanning hers, and he smiles faintly over her enthusiasm.
“Hi,” he says. My father bends over next, moving my mother out of his way.
“Hi there, young man. I’m James, but you can call me Grandpa.” My eyes bug out over my father’s statement. I never dreamed pa would leave his lips.
“I think I want to be called Nana. Liam, would you like to call me Nana?”
Say what?
“OK
, let’s give him a little space,” I say.
“Camilla, it’s lovely to see you again,” Mother says. “You birthed a handsome, young man.”
Lord, it’s going to be a long evening.
“Oh, I think he was blessed with the fabulous Burke genes more than anything,” my girl replies, being gracious as always.
“Irene’s still preparing our dinner, so let’s move to the living room.” Taking Liam’s hand, Camilla leads us down the hall.
“Look how cute he is, James.”
“I see, dear.”
Once we’re inside, Liam runs over to the coffee table.
“I helped make you snacks,” he announces, pointing to a tray.
“You did? Well, that was very kind of you,” Mother replies before she picks up a cracker.
“There’s cheese, too. Momma says it makes your bones stwong.”
My father lets out a hearty laugh, and Mother grins.
“Well, I guess I need a piece to go on my cracker then.” Sitting down on the sofa, she looks at me with glassy eyes, and I can’t recall a time she appeared prouder.
This is why it was important to me to tell her Liam was my child, and I couldn’t be more thankful it’s the truth.
Camilla
Our dinner is delicious. Irene prepared seared scallops and shrimp in a creamy alfredo sauce over a bed of noodles. Liam’s having the same, but she fixed him his own side of macaroni and cheese.
Estella informed Liam that she brought him a present and will retrieve it from the car if he eats most of his dinner. The only problem with that is he’s scarfing down his meal to make that happen faster, so naturally, he’ll end up with a bellyache.
“Camilla, how is school going?” Estella asks.
“Great, but I need to find a place to do an internship. Do you have any suggestions?”
“Hmm … since you’re passionate about helping the hungry, would you be interested in working at a food pantry? I’m on the board for one here in Denver.”
“That sounds perfect.”
“Wonderful. We’ll get it set up right away. The staff consists of mainly volunteers, and you can work as many hours as you’d like.”
I look at Ellis with a smile, but he meets it with a frown.
“Oh, this is exciting,” Estella adds. “This will give me an excuse to put a press release in the paper to draw more attention to the pantry. I’ll announce your arrival and add a photo, too, and maybe that will get us some new sponsors.”
“Oh, no, I can’t be in the newspaper. I mean, I’d rather you wait until I’ve accomplished something to earn the recognition.”
She waves her hand my way. “Don’t be modest.”
“Mother, she doesn’t wish to be in the paper.” Ellis’s tone and narrowing gaze challenge her, and I sense our dinner is going south.
Irene enters just in time. “Irene, would you mind serving dessert now?” he asks her.
“Yes, sir, right away.”
“I really want my present,” Liam says.
“Son, why don’t you and I go to the car to get it,” James says to Ellis with raised eyebrows.
“Can I go?” Liam asks excitedly.
Sensing that James wants a moment alone with Ellis, I say, “Sweetie, you stay here. They’ll be right back. Hey, why don’t we show Nana your bedroom and some of your toys while we wait for your present.”
Estella covers her chest. “Aww, I already love being a grandmother. This is going to be so much fun.”
A moment of discomfort flashes across Ellis’s face before he follows his father out. He’s brooding, and I’m curious as to why.
Ellis
“What do you wish to discuss? I know there’s something,” I say to James.
“Your disapproval over your mother suggesting Camilla work at the food pantry was evident. I suggest you be more supportive in both of their endeavors if you’d like to keep that fabulous woman who seems accepting of your surly disposition.”
“How I am with Camilla is none of your business, and I don’t understand your hang up with me disapproving of the endless hours my mother has given to her community, rather than to her family.”
My father leans back against his black Cadillac. He’s in a dark grey button-up shirt that draws attention to his light grey hair. He nervously brushes the front of it back with his fingers.
“Contrary to your belief, your mother and I are regretful for the hours we put toward our careers while you and Tony were growing up. His death forced us to see all that we missed.
“We’re excited about having a close relationship with Liam, but we also feel it’s our opportunity to make amends with you. I hope you can set your pride aside, as well, and leave behind some of this anger.”
I shift my jaw, grinding my teeth in the process. He’s sure not wrong about the anger I’m carrying. It’s only exacerbated since I began caring for Liam. That kid’s made my life so much richer, and unlike my parents were with me, I don’t want to miss a minute of him growing up.
“It’s time to bury the hatchet, son. Your child and Camilla deserve a happy man in the house. I do hope you’re going to marry her soon.”
That’s the best apology I’m going to get from my father.
“I’ll work on the anger issue. As far as my relationship with Camilla, it’s private. Mother gossips, and I don’t want everyone knowing our business.”
“Fair enough. I only ask that you inform us of future life-altering events in private as opposed to say a gala with five hundred people.”
I smirk. “Sure. You’ll be the first to know and in private. Now, what did you buy your grandson?”
James opens the back seat of his car and removes a large square package. The paper it’s wrapped in is covered with red, blue and yellow balloons, and it’s topped with a bright yellow bow. He hands it to me to carry inside, and it’s heavy.
“It’s a train set, and you get to put it together.”
“I’m sure Liam will help me, and he’ll be thrilled. He loves trains.”
My father clasps my shoulder as we return to the house.
“You’re going to be a fine father.”
Maybe Liam will do what James is hoping and bring us all closer. I’m only worried about my mother’s interference. I won’t stand for her sucking Camilla into her world, which will take her away from Liam and me. That’s not happening.
Camilla
“You called it. He said he had a bellyache,” Ellis says as he shuts the door to our bedroom. “He did fall asleep after I read him a story, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he wakes up in the night.”
“Then we should go to bed. I feel like we never get a solid night’s sleep.”
“We need to have a discussion first.”
“Yes. I was wondering what was wrong with you at dinner. You seemed upset when your mother suggested I intern at the food pantry, and I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“I am happy for you. That’s not what I want to discuss.”
“Oh, OK.”
“You panicked when Estella mentioned putting your picture in the paper. It’s time, Camilla. I need to know about your past in order to build our future. If there’s something I can do to ensure the past stays in the past, I’ll make it happen.”
Looking to the bed, I pick at the fabric.
“There will always be the risk that the past will catch up with me. It’s another reason I’m grateful Liam has you. He might only have you one day.”
Walking over, Ellis leans down and cups my face.
“Listen to me. You’re not going anywhere, but I have to know what happened to help.”
“All right. Have a seat, and I’ll tell you.”
Once Ellis has changed into some pajama pants, he sits next to me and takes my hand in his.
“The first ten years of my life were OK. Not great, but tolerable. We didn’t have much, and my parents fought a lot, but I thought my home life was like any other child’s.
“Then,
my father hurt his back at work and couldn’t keep his job. He became addicted to the pain pills his doctor prescribed him. My mother hadn’t held a job in years, but she tried to work.”
I shake my head. “Dad hated it. He was extremely jealous, and I guess ashamed that he was no longer the breadwinner, so he made her quit.
“He started using other drugs and began dealing. He and my mom were hanging out with his supplier and other bad people. Of course, I didn’t understand all this at that age, but I pieced it together over the next few years.
“By the time I was fifteen, both my parents were using crack. Our home life sucked. My parents seldom fed us, the house was disgusting, and they were mean. They only cared about getting their next fix.
“Sasha wasn’t as strong as me, and their behavior was almost all she’d known, so she tolerated it, whereas I’d challenge my parents.
“I got in a huge fight with my dad one day, and I was done with his shit. I packed a bag and moved in with a friend. I think he let me leave out of fear that I’d turn them in if he didn’t.” Picking at the comforter, I think back to that upsetting day.
“The terrible treatment Sasha endured only became worse as my parents’ drug use increased. I’d visit her or take her out for the day, and I witnessed her decline. She wasn’t the happy girl she once was. I saw her slipping away, Ellis. She turned into this hopeless, lifeless being.”
Pulling my head to him, he kisses my forehead. He’s here for me without judgement. I know it and trust him, but it doesn’t make this any easier.
“I got a part-time job and swore that when I turned eighteen, I’d rent Sasha and me a place to live, but over the next few years, things only got worse, and I had no idea just how awful it truly was for my sister.
“Once I turned eighteen, I tried to get her out of there, but my dad said no. He was determined to keep her there. I got her alone one day and found out why my father needed her so badly.”
The overwhelming shame and pain from that day return, and the tears come with it. Swallowing, I look past him at the wall.
