Freya wouldn’t have minded if Seb had asked her about Brian, but perhaps he wasn’t interested, or perhaps he didn’t want to cause any more awkwardness.
Obviously the wine coupled with exhaustion had gone straight to her head, because she also wouldn’t have minded if Seb had asked her back to his place. It showed what a lonely and messed-up old bird she was, but she couldn’t help remembering those heady days when they couldn’t keep their hands off each other, when she’d loved him so fiercely she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
This evening, Seb made no such offer, of course. He didn’t even suggest they polish off the rest of the bottle, which was extremely sensible, as they still needed to drive home.
Freya told herself she was glad that at least one of them was sensible and grown up now, but as they climbed into their respective cars and set off in opposite directions, she just wished she felt glad and sensible and grown up.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
‘Where are the seahorses? Daddy, I can’t see the seahorses.’
It was Saturday afternoon. Billie had finished mopping the restaurant’s floors and she was folding starched linen napkins, ready for setting the tables, when she heard a small child’s piping voice outside.
Looking out, she saw that a man and a little girl had arrived on the deck. The child was on tiptoes, leaning through the railing and peering out to sea. She wore a pink cap and her brown curly hair was tied in two small bunches on either side of her head. Billie thought she looked super cute in pink shorts and a purple T-shirt trimmed with aqua ruffles.
‘I can’t see any seahorses,’ the little girl called loudly, and she rattled her bucket and spade to emphasise her displeasure.
Billie couldn’t help smiling. There was a good chance that she had bossed her own dad like that when she was small. But she also couldn’t help noticing that this girl’s father, in sunglasses, a chest-hugging T-shirt and board shorts, was quite the man. Attractively tanned, and fit-looking, he was definitely worth a second glance.
Except that Billie’s second glance gave her a jolt. Was that really Detective Dan Dexter?
She looked again.
Wow. Yes, it was definitely Dan. She’d had no contact with him in the past two weeks since she’d flown back from Cairns, apart from a formal phone call to inform her that the coroner had ruled that Reg Howe’s death was due to ‘misadventure’.
Billie had been hugely relieved to know that Ebba Nilsson had escaped being charged and was free to return home with her parents. With that news, she’d been keen to put the whole stressful experience behind her. Until now, she’d more or less forgotten about Dan’s suggestion that he should bring his little daughter to the island.
And now he was turning from the view of the bay, and when he saw Billie, he waved. Then he spoke to the little girl and took her hand, leading her across the deck.
Billie met them in the open doorway. ‘Hello there.’
‘Hi,’ said Dan. ‘We’re spending the weekend over here and I thought we’d say g’day.’
‘A whole weekend on the island? How lovely.’ This was such a surprise. In Cairns Billie had seen very little of Dan outside the courthouse. They’d stayed overnight, but he’d dropped her at a motel, informing her of the restaurant attached, and had promptly taken off. She had no idea where he’d stayed. Professional distance and all that.
Now, Billie smiled at his small companion. ‘So this must be your daughter?’
‘The one and only Molly Dexter,’ Dan said with unmistakable fatherly pride.
‘Hello, Molly.’
‘Hello.’ The child, who’d been so bossy mere moments earlier, seemed shy now, but she offered Billie a small smile.
‘This is Ms —’ Dan began, but Billie quickly intervened.
‘Don’t you dare call me Ms Mathieson,’ she scolded. The poor man was being bossed from all sides today.
He smiled. ‘Molly, this is Billie.’
Billie was surprised he’d actually remembered her preference, but she was sure she shouldn’t be impressed by this small detail. She turned her attention on his daughter. ‘And you’re looking for seahorses, Molly?’
‘She’s obsessed with seahorses,’ said Dan.
‘I can see that.’ A seahorse was emblazoned on the front of Molly’s pink peaked cap and there was another on the front of her ruffle-trimmed T-shirt. Even her rubber sandals were decorated with tiny seahorses.
The little girl was very cute, with a ready smile and mischievous, twinkling eyes. She looked like a girly version of Dan, actually, except that her long-lashed eyes were a beautiful blue instead of deep brown.
Molly’s small toenails were also neatly painted in glittery silver nail polish. Dan wouldn’t have attended to that detail, surely? Billie wondered where Molly’s mother was.
‘Daddy told me I could see seahorses,’ Molly said, pouting to show her disappointment.
‘Well, yes,’ Billie agreed. ‘There are seahorses on the island, but they’re only tiny, so I don’t think you’ll be able to see them in the ocean.’
‘I think Molly expected to find them surfing the waves,’ Dan said. ‘She has a picture book that’s given her quite the wrong impression.’
Billie smiled, remembering her own childhood when she’d been convinced that platypuses were almost as big as crocodiles, until she’d eventually seen one in the wild. ‘Well, there’s an aquarium in Nelly Bay,’ she said. ‘I’m pretty sure you’ll find they have seahorses.’
Dan nodded. ‘That’s what I was hoping.’ He looked past Billie to the tables inside and the pile of napkins she’d been folding. ‘I guess you’re busy.’
‘Not so busy I can’t offer you a coffee. And perhaps a little dish of ice cream for Molly?’
He looked surprised and Billie couldn’t blame him. She’d surprised herself. The offer had just jumped out.
‘The café’s closed, isn’t it?’ Dan asked.
‘Officially yes, but unofficially —’ She gave a shrug and smiled.
She couldn’t help remembering how Dan had been a pillar of strength during the hearing in Cairns, helping her to remain calm and focused, so that, in the end, giving evidence had been easier that she’d thought it would be. Ebba Nilsson’s lawyer hadn’t challenged any of her evidence, but had simply asked her to tell the court about her emotional response during the assault and after she’d broken free.
Words had tumbled from her then . . . telling of the shock and embarrassment, the anger and terror, the humiliation . . .
‘I’m sure I must have felt like every woman who’s ever been subjected to sexual violence,’ she’d said, and she’d looked directly at the female coroner, then back to the male lawyer. ‘It’s not easy to describe. I guess you’d have to be a woman to truly understand.’
To her surprise, there’d been a scattering of applause from the back of the court. The coroner had hit the bench with her ornate gravel and called for order, but no frown had been directed to Billie, and the coroner had given her an ever-so-slight nod of her head.
Billie had honestly felt as if she’d finally grown up on that day in Cairns and Dan Dexter’s steady presence had been part of that milestone. Lately, one way and another, her life hadn’t been much fun and it had been ages since she’d done anything impulsive. Why not be hospitable?
‘Come on in,’ she said to Dan.
Which was how the three of them ended up sitting at a table together, with Dan enjoying coffee and Billie herbal tea – she was conscientiously avoiding too much caffeine – while Molly had a little dish with two scoops of ice cream, chocolate sauce and a cherry on top.
Watching the little girl’s joy as she dug her spoon into the delicious concoction, Billie couldn’t help wondering about her own baby. She’d chosen not to know the sex, but now she found herself imagining a child, a girl perhaps, in five or so years’ time, ready for a day at the beach, perhaps, enjoying ice cream and grinning at her with that special gleam of childish joy, a blob of
ice cream on her chin.
She noticed Molly’s silver-tipped toes wriggling with delight. ‘Did you paint Molly’s toenails, Dan?’
He glanced at his daughter’s feet and grinned. ‘Not a chance. My mum did that.’
‘Your mum?’ Billie didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but this wasn’t the answer she’d expected at all. She couldn’t help wondering again where Molly’s mother was.
‘Mum picks Molly up from kindy each day and looks after her till I finish work,’ he said.
Was Dan a single dad? Divorced, perhaps, and sharing custody of Molly with his ex? Billie didn’t like to ask such questions in front of his little girl. They talked instead about safe, banal things – the accommodation where Dan and Molly were staying, the best bay for kids’ swimming – and Molly told Billie about the seahorses in her book.
‘There’s a special one called Sandy and he has a curly tail that’s magic.’
‘He sounds amazing,’ Billie told her.
‘He is. He’s got superpowers.’
‘Wow. So he can swim really fast?’
‘Yep and he rescues baby fishes and chases off sharks and baddies.’
‘Sounds quite the hero.’
Molly nodded solemnly.
‘You should be able to see his cousins when you go to the aquarium.’
Now the girl’s eyes almost popped with delight. ‘Daddy?’ she demanded. ‘When are we going to the ’quarium? Can we go now?’
Dan looked to Billie before he answered and as their gazes connected, she saw a flash, a leap of something like hope in his eyes. ‘Would you like to come with us, Billie?’ he asked.
She told herself it was the unexpectedness of his invitation that made her cheeks flash hotly.
‘I know you have work commitments,’ he added politely.
‘Well, yes, I’m busy this afternoon,’ she said. ‘But I’ll be free tomorrow morning.’ Yikes, she’d jumped in again, feet first, hadn’t she, without really thinking this through?
‘You’ll come with us then?’
‘Ooh, yes,’ piped in Molly. ‘Come with us to the ’quarium, Billie.’
Billie swallowed guiltily. There’d still been no mention of Molly’s mother, so it was quite possible that Dan was a single dad and it was also possible that he might be flirting with her. Flirting in a reserved and polite, nice-guy kind of way, of course. But that sparkle in his smile would soon vanish if he knew she was pregnant.
Right now, however, he was waiting for her answer. Even his daughter was all wide eyes and big smile, with her dripping spoon poised in midair.
‘That would be lovely,’ Billie found herself saying.
‘Great.’ Dan flashed Billie an even warmer smile. ‘How about mid-morning then? Say, ten?’
Billie knew she wasn’t handling this well. Last week she’d bought a couple of bigger tops and so far her bump was relatively easy to conceal, but she couldn’t let Dan continue to think that she might be a dating prospect. First chance tomorrow, she would have to let him know she was pregnant and thus a no-go on the relationship front.
The conversation would need to be discreet, of course, when Molly was out of earshot, but it was time to come clean and set the man straight. Perhaps he might also be more forthcoming about his own situation.
It seemed weird to be planning to spill this news to a guy she’d just met when she still hadn’t told her parents, or her baby’s father for that matter, but it would be good to clear the air.
‘Ten would be perfect,’ she said.
The island’s aquarium was a relatively simple affair set in sheds at the end of a path that wound through tropical gardens lush with palms, cordylines and flowering gingers.
Molly, wearing yet another seahorse-inspired T-shirt and almost bursting with impatience, skipped ahead of them up the path.
‘You’ve done well to find her so many clothes with seahorses,’ Billie told Dan.
‘I have her granny to thank for that. She seems to find them online.’
‘Sounds like your mum’s a pretty special grandmother.’
‘She is rather.’
By now Molly was well ahead of them, having reached the ticket office, where she was animatedly explaining to the kid who served there that she’d come to see the seahorses.
After an anxious night, Billie decided to grab this brief window of opportunity. ‘Dan, may I ask about Molly’s mother?’
‘She died,’ he said simply.
‘Oh, God. I’m so sorry.’ Perhaps she should have been prepared for this news, but divorce was so common she hadn’t considered death for someone so young. Now the unfairness of this landed on Billie’s chest like a physical blow.
‘A car crash.’ Dan kept his gaze lowered. ‘A guy on meth ran a red light. Molly was only six months old and she was in her capsule in the back seat. Didn’t get a scratch.’
Oh, Dan. Rendered speechless, Billie couldn’t begin to imagine the horror for him, the unbearable shock and grief of losing his partner, combined with the sudden responsibility of caring for a baby daughter. She could almost feel her own heart breaking. ‘That’s terrible,’ she said softly as her eyes filled with tears.
‘It’s been hard,’ he said. ‘But we’re doing okay.’
Yes, of course he was doing okay. To Billie, he seemed to be coping wonderfully.
She blinked hard and stared at the bright red and cerise leaves of a cordyline plant, willing her eyes to dry.
Ahead of them, Molly was calling, ‘Come on, Daddy! Hurry up!’
Billie swallowed and somehow managed to smile, and mere moments later, with their tickets purchased, they found themselves inside, surrounded by a watery wonderland. On either side, walls were lined with floor-to-ceiling tanks filled with the delights of the Great Barrier Reef. Coral and rocks and clams, and fish of every size, shape and hue.
Molly was delighted by the whole spectacle, but she was on a special quest, of course, so she hurried ahead again, past the underwater beauty until she reached her goal.
She squealed. ‘Daddy!’ she called again. ‘Billie, hurry. Come here.’ The little girl was quivering with excitement as she beckoned them. ‘Look!’ she ordered in a dramatic stage whisper, as Dan and Billie drew closer.
And there they were, a little family of elegant seahorses riding up and down in a tank of bright pink coral.
Billie grinned. ‘They really are special, aren’t they?’
‘But they’re so tiny,’ squeaked Molly.
‘And incredibly cute,’ suggested Billie.
Molly nodded as she continued to stare, obviously needing a moment or two to realign her expectations with this diminutive reality. She was still smiling, though, and after a bit, she pointed to the biggest seahorse and announced quite assertively, ‘That one’s the daddy.’
‘Perhaps,’ said her father, crouching beside her with his arm around her shoulders.
Such a sweet picture they made, daddy and daughter.
Don’t think about Petros, Billie scolded herself, as she dredged up another bright smile.
‘That big seahorse might actually be the mummy,’ Dan was telling Molly. ‘I’ve read up on them.’ He sent Billie a conspiratorial smile. ‘Apparently, male seahorses like to choose large females as their mates.’
‘They probably think the big girls are healthier,’ suggested Billie.
‘I guess, but the female lays eggs in the male’s pouch and he then fertilises them and also incubates them.’
‘So, he has all the work without any of the mating fun?’
‘Apparently.’ Dan’s eyes were bright with amusement and more than a hint of interest.
And now Billie was cursing herself for making what could easily be interpreted as a flirtatious comment. What was wrong with her? ‘Not a bad set-up for the lady seahorse,’ she said in her driest tone.
The aquarium had a little courtyard café and morning tea seemed in order. Coffee for Dan and apple juice for Billie and Molly, plus a little dish of
shortbread cookies shaped like various sea creatures. Of course, Molly chose the seahorse.
Billie, who’d selected a starfish, was wondering if there would ever be a chance to have the setting-things-straight conversation she needed with Dan. She was beginning to think she might have to save it for a phone call, when Molly piped up.
‘Daddy, can I play on the swings?’
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘As soon as I’ve finished my coffee.’
The little girl pulled a face. ‘I don’t need you to push me.’
Dan looked towards the play area where a boy and a girl about Molly’s age were scaling a climbing frame while their parents nursed their coffees at a nearby table. It was pretty clear Molly was hoping to make new friends.
‘All right then,’ Dan told her. ‘Off you go, but make sure you stay where I can see you.’
It was only as Molly raced away, whooping with delight, that Billie noticed she’d left her seahorse biscuit untouched on her plate.
‘Maybe she couldn’t bear to eat it,’ she said.
Dan smiled wryly. ‘I thought seeing real seahorses might be an anticlimax, might even cool her obsession.’
‘Or fan the flame,’ Billie suggested.
‘Yeah, I guess either way it won’t last forever.’
‘She’ll move on to princesses?’
He grinned. ‘Then pop stars.’
‘And boys in general.’
As soon as Billie saw the unmissable message in Dan’s eyes, she realised she’d dropped another clanger. Or was he reading a subtext that she hadn’t meant to imply?
Damn. It was time to come clean before things got totally awkward.
Unfortunately, her mouth was suddenly dry, her throat tight. She swallowed. ‘Dan.’ She swallowed again. ‘There’s something I really should tell you.’
She was instantly wincing. Such a clumsy start. But Dan still looked perfectly calm and unworried.
‘I’m pregnant,’ Billie added quickly.
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