‘So I’m not adopted?’
But this vital question hadn’t been answered with the unequivocal certainty Billie so desperately needed.
‘What’s happened?’ Her mother had intervened at that point, her voice anxious and high pitched, somewhere in the background. ‘Who have you been talking to, Billie?’
‘Nicole,’ she said. ‘From school.’
‘Sonia Brassal’s daughter?’
‘Yes.’
Painful seconds limped by before either of her parents spoke again. ‘Look, everything’s fine, Billie,’ her dad said, finally. ‘The Brassals are just guessing, grabbing at straws.’
But guessing about what? Billie almost screamed.
It was then that Troy asked her to wait, to be patient for just a few days until they could sit down and talk about this calmly, face to face.
Which was all very well for them, as they already knew the answers, but patience was hard to come by if you were the person left clueless and hanging. Billie was beside herself. Her need-to-know factor was off the scale.
Since then, the only things that had kept her remotely sane had been her work at the restaurant and the thought of her little baby, steadily growing and rolling and bumping inside her. For the baby’s sake, she couldn’t let herself go to pieces. She had to stay strong, but, man, it was hard.
To cap things off, Pearl and Troy weren’t going to arrive till late in the day, when Billie would be at work. Which meant another evening of waiting tables, of trying to concentrate on orders, of being efficient and pleasant, of having to smile, smile, smile.
At least Seb had been quite sympathetic, but he hadn’t budged when it came to offering Billie any more info, claiming it had really nothing to do with him, which Billie found hard to believe. As for her aunt, Billie might as well go whistle for the wind.
‘Please don’t keep asking me, Billie. I can’t tell you any more, I swear.’
‘You and Seb are in cahoots about this, aren’t you?’ she’d accused.
Freya had smiled then, a smile that softened her features and shone with deep happiness. ‘Where did you hear an old-fashioned word like cahoots?’
Billie rolled her eyes. ‘You’re avoiding the question.’
‘We’re not in cahoots about you, Billie. I confess we’ve been rather obsessed with getting to know each other again.’
Her aunt, the cool aunt Billie had always considered the epitome of sophistication, now looked coy.
‘My God, you’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?’
‘I am,’ Freya said simply.
And for a moment, Billie was quite distracted, as she tried not to think about Freya and Seb in bed together. ‘I bet it’s amazing.’
Freya grinned. ‘Uh-huh.’ And then, before Billie could get back to her more important questions, Freya waved to her and was out the door with her little dog following. ‘Won Ton needs a walk,’ she called over her shoulder.
But now Billie’s shift was over and she was driving home and her parents should be there, and given the build-up of the past three days, she was almost sick with tension.
As she rounded the final bend, she saw lights streaming from the big living room windows out over the headland’s huge boulders. Below the house, her parents’ Pajero was parked in the carport. Okay, so they were here and hopefully waiting up for her.
Billie felt hollow and shaky as she pulled into the small off-road parking space, edging her car next to Freya’s. Were they looking out for her? Was someone, even now, putting the kettle on in preparation for The Talk? To calm herself, she took several deep breaths, but they weren’t much help.
Won Ton was at the door to greet her, but for once Billie didn’t bother to return the little dog’s courtesy. Her focus was elsewhere, searching. But the living room was empty and there was no sign of the kettle humming to life in the kitchen.
Seriously?
‘Hello?’ Billie called. ‘Anyone up?’
She heard bare feet padding down the timber-floored hallway and Freya appeared, her flame-coloured hair tumbling to her shoulders as she tied a kimono over her pyjamas. ‘Hi, Billie.’
‘Where are Mum and Dad?’ Billie demanded. ‘They haven’t gone to bed, have they?’
‘I don’t think so.’ Freya looked back down the hallway. ‘I’m pretty sure I heard them talking just a few minutes ago. Would you like me to check?’
Billie nodded, too tense and frustrated to trust herself to speak. She went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water and wished she could replace it with a medicinal slug of scotch. From down the hallway, she heard the murmur of voices. Freya and Troy. Then more footsteps.
Her parents, like Freya, were in their pyjamas and summer dressing gowns, which wasn’t so very surprising, given that it was almost eleven, although this wasn’t quite the way Billie had pictured the meeting. Her mum was finger-combing her hair, as if she’d been lying down and hadn’t had a chance to tidy it. But shouldn’t they be rushing to hug her? To congratulate her on her happy baby news?
‘Hi, sweetheart.’ Her dad did come forward then. And, yes, he hugged Billie and kissed her cheek, but she sensed an unsettling restraint in his manner.
‘Hello, Billie.’ Her mum looked thin and far too tired, as if the holiday hadn’t done her any good at all. Or perhaps those dark shadows under her eyes were entirely due to the strain of the past three days.
‘Hello, Mum.’ They kissed and hugged and then Pearl stepped back a little, letting her pale gaze rest on Billie’s belly. ‘Look at you,’ she said and her eyes now glittered with tears. ‘You look like you’re keeping very well, darling.’
‘I am, thanks. Really well.’ Billie wished she could return the compliment.
They stood in an awkward little cluster, and Billie was wondering if she should speak up when Troy said, ‘It’s already rather late, so we’d better sit down and have this chat.’
Thank heavens. Billie had feared that her parents might try to delay this conversation by regaling them first with travel stories, or suggesting they wait till morning.
‘How about I put the kettle on?’ offered Freya.
‘Not for me, thanks,’ said Pearl.
Troy also shook his head. ‘Maybe later.’
So they settled on the sofas, with Pearl and Troy sitting quite close together and Freya and Billie opposite. The living room had been restored to its usual pristine perfection. No dog hairs on the sofa, thank God, and not a chocolate wrapper in sight.
It felt almost unreal to realise that this conversation was finally about to begin. Billie swallowed nervously.
Her parents exchanged cautious smiles. Then her dad sat forward. ‘First up,’ he said. ‘We want to reassure you that you are definitely our biological daughter, Billie.’
‘Okay.’
‘But you were born via IVF.’
Holy shit. Billie swallowed again, this time with astonishment. ‘You mean I was conceived in a lab?’
Her parents nodded.
Wow! Billie was still taking this in when her father added, ‘And because of your mother’s endometriosis, surrogacy was necessary.’
Oh. My. God. In all the adoption scenarios Billie had imagined, she’d never considered surrogacy. For a moment she was too stunned to respond, and then she was too busy thinking about her cells coming together in a Petri dish and then growing in some other woman’s body. It didn’t seem possible, but on another level it was strangely, crazily awesome.
Billie looked at her parents, huddled together, seeming smaller somehow now as they held hands, their anxious expressions mirroring each other’s as they watched for her reaction. Then she looked down at her body, the body she’d lived in so comfortably for twenty-four years. She wondered why it didn’t feel somehow alien. A scientific experiment.
‘So this woman,’ she said. ‘This surrogate mother. How did you find her?’
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Freya flinched as Billie fired her all-important question. This
was it. The pointy end of their conversation. The moment when Pearl could no longer hide the truth.
Freya had been nervous from the moment she’d first greeted Pearl and Troy, imagining her sister’s heated arguments and accusations. But as if by tacit consent, they’d managed to avoid dwelling on the difficult topic dominating everyone’s thoughts. While they’d waited for Billie, they’d mostly talked about the trip and Island Thyme, about Gavin’s replacement and Freya’s bookkeeping. Pearl had even grudgingly admitted that Freya’s efforts in the restaurant had been above and beyond. Apparently, she’d read glowing reviews on Island Thyme’s website. Even Freya’s pot plant care got a tick of approval.
‘Although I hear you’ve taken up with Seb,’ Pearl had said, letting her lip curl to show her displeasure. ‘I’m sure that threw an extra spanner in the works.’
‘I don’t believe so,’ Freya answered at her dignified best.
Pearl made no attempt to hide her opinion, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly and shrugging. ‘You’ve just got rid of one hopeless bloke. Thought you’d enjoy being a woman on the loose.’
Freya smiled at her sweetly. ‘And that’s exactly what I’m doing.’
The matter, to her relief, was dropped then, but after a light meal, Troy and Pearl had retired to their bedroom. Apparently, Pearl had needed to rest, which Freya had found a little surprising, but she wasn’t able to corner Troy to quiz him for details.
Now, here they were, and Freya could only guess what her sister must be thinking – that she’d been dead right about the dangers of inviting Freya into her home. And Freya couldn’t help feeling guilty now that Pearl’s worst fears, the fears she had scoffed at, had, indeed, been realised.
It was pretty darned obvious that this fraught situation would never have arisen if Freya had stayed safely in South East Queensland. But it was too late now for regrets and Billie’s fateful question awaited an answer.
But who was going to break the news to Billie? After keeping her own promise of silence for so many years, Freya was reluctant to go back on her word. But neither Troy nor Pearl seemed keen to speak up. Meanwhile, poor Billie was sitting stiffly on the very edge of her seat, eyes wide with gut-wrenching tension, hands tightly fisted on her knees, as she looked from her mother to her father and then to her aunt.
It was then that it happened.
Billie’s gaze met Freya’s and held and, despite Freya’s best efforts to keep her face deadpan, something clicked. A blink of connection. A spark of awareness flared in Billie’s lovely blue eyes. Her jaw dropped.
‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped, as she stared at Freya. ‘It was you, wasn’t it? You were my surrogate mother.’
Freya couldn’t have spoken then, even if she’d wanted to. Her throat was too raw and painfully tight.
From across the room, a strange kind of wail broke from Pearl, who looked ill, hunched over, hugging herself.
‘It was Freya, wasn’t it?’ Billie demanded, shooting the question now to her parents. ‘Freya was pregnant with your baby – with me – and that’s why the Brassals assumed she was my mother.’
Billie sent an impatient glance from her parents to Freya and back again. ‘For God’s sake, please, someone —’
‘Yes, Billie,’ Troy said quickly. ‘Freya was the surrogate. Your womb mother.’
At this, Billie’s shoulders sagged and she let out a noisy huff, as if she could now release the breath she’d been holding. Then, with a dazed shake of her head, she turned from them all to stare outside into the darkness beyond the window, where the night sky and the black sea were faintly tinged by a slice of moon.
Freya supposed the poor girl needed a little time to take this news in.
Billie’s eyes were silver with tears as she turned back to them. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? I can’t believe you never told me. Why would you keep something like that a secret?’
A long, uncomfortable pause followed. Freya waited for either Troy or Pearl to speak up, to explain the unexplainable. For a mad moment she wondered if Pearl would finally be honest and admit to her unreasonable possessiveness, but her sister remained silent, huddled. Diminished.
Knowing that Billie was at the end of her patience, Freya felt compelled to speak up. ‘I think the secrecy must have been my fault, Billie.’ She decided it was her task to at least try to explain the way she saw this. ‘On the day you were born, I was supposed to contact Pearl and Troy as soon as I went into labour. I knew they wanted to be there for your birth. But I’m afraid I didn’t let them know until after you’d already arrived.’
Billie’s response was a puzzled frown. ‘That’s not so terrible, is it?’
‘I broke my promise, you see,’ Freya continued, but she couldn’t help feeling annoyed that she’d been reduced to a grovelling apology for a decision she still felt was justified. She certainly wouldn’t try to explain why she’d wanted to keep both the agony of her labour and the momentous experience of Billie’s birth to herself. That she’d felt she’d earned one small but shining moment of triumph. No one else could be expected to understand.
‘I made a decision that Pearl couldn’t forgive,’ Freya said. ‘I lost her trust.’
‘Just like that?’ Billie asked in clear disbelief.
Troy spoke up. ‘I’m sure it’s hard for you to understand, Billie.’
‘You bet it is.’
‘The whole experience was so emotionally laden,’ Troy added.
‘I can imagine.’ Billie let out an angry sigh, not trying to hide her exasperation. ‘To be honest, I think you’re all pretty fucked in the head.’
‘Oh, Billie,’ Pearl cried now. ‘Can’t you even try to understand?’
‘Oh, I’m trying, but I doubt it’ll ever make any real sense.’ Billie’s lower jaw protruded stubbornly. ‘But at least you’ve finally told me the truth.’ In a dramatic gesture, she flung an arm towards the magnificent windows and the view beyond. ‘And in case you haven’t noticed, dear family, the world hasn’t come to an end.’
With that, she rose rather majestically, cast a weary, almost despairing glance at the three of them, and then turned to leave. ‘Thanks for the info. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.’
As Billie left the room, Freya waited for the expected remonstrance and tears from Pearl, the cries of ‘I told you so’, but her sister merely remained in a collapsed heap, as if drained of all fight or strength.
Troy slipped his arm around his wife. ‘You need to get to bed, too, love,’ he told her gently. ‘We can finish dealing with this in the morning.’
Pearl simply nodded and, like an obedient child, allowed Troy to guide her back down the hallway.
‘Goodnight, Freya,’ he called to her.
‘Goodnight.’
His smile was gentle, a mix of sympathy and concern. ‘Thanks for your help.’
‘No problem.’
Then they were gone, shuffling down the hallway, leaving Freya as deflated as a popped party balloon.
‘Freya.
’ Billie’s voice.
Freya squinted through the grey early-morning light and saw Billie at her bedroom door. ‘Morning,’ she said, yawning as she lifted herself up onto one elbow.
‘I hope I didn’t wake you?’
‘No worries. I think I was almost awake. Do you want to come in?’
‘Do you mind?’
Before last night’s revelations, Freya might have hesitated, out of deference to Pearl’s sensitivities. This morning such caution seemed excessive. ‘Of course not,’ she said, throwing back the sheet and light cotton cover as she shifted over in her bed to make room.
‘Thanks.’ Billie was wearing a long grey T-shirt over short cotton pyjama bottoms. Her tawny hair was loose and hanging past her shoulders. Despite her pregnant tummy, she looked impossibly young as she settled beside Freya with her tanned legs crossed at the ankles.
‘Have you had a bad night?’ Freya asked.
‘Terrible.’ Billie adjusted the pillows and wrigg
led her shoulders as she made herself comfortable. ‘My mind’s been going at a million miles a minute. What about you?’
‘I haven’t had the best of sleeps.’
‘I suppose I must have calmed down eventually,’ Billie admitted. ‘I did sleep for a bit after I finally got my head around the surrogacy and everything.’
‘It must have been a shock for you.’
‘Too right. Although now that I know, I can’t believe I hadn’t guessed something like that. Looking back, it kinda makes sense.’
‘That’s good to hear.’
Billie turned to Freya with a soft smile. ‘And I wanted to thank you.’
‘Oh.’ Freya tried to return her niece’s smile, but her lips were suddenly trembling, tugging down at the edges.
‘What you did for me – for us – was huge,’ Billie said. ‘I know it’s stating the obvious, but I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. And yet I know it was so much more than just that.’
Freya swallowed the building ache in her throat. ‘It’s only what women have been doing since time began.’
‘No, it’s not,’ said Billie. ‘I’m pregnant now, don’t forget, so I know what you went through. The morning sickness, the careful diet, the exhaustion. And, crumbs, most women get the reward of a baby at the end of their nine months, but you knew from the start that you’d be giving me up. I’m not sure I could do that.’
‘I enjoyed it.’ Freya couldn’t believe how emotional she felt. How many years had she longed for a few words of gratitude, just like this? Now, she wilfully pushed past her need to weep. ‘I felt so sorry for Pearl and Troy,’ she said. ‘I knew how disappointed they were that they couldn’t have a family.’
‘But then, after everything you went through for them, you couldn’t have a family of your own. That’s hardly fair.’
‘My infertility had nothing to do with your pregnancy, Billie. Those issues came later.’ Freya did manage to smile now, but it felt very out of shape. She shrugged. ‘Them’s the breaks.’
‘I still think it’s unfair.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I was pretty upset at the time, I must admit, but maybe it was for the best.’
The Sister's Gift Page 21
