by Julia Sykes
The spanking bench.
Derek gripped my wrists, pulling them forward before cuffing them in place with soft leather restraints. My ankles were similarly secured. His work was done before I even managed to catch my breath.
A little flash of fear popped inside my belly. I was stretched and spread for him, completely vulnerable. And punishment was coming. I had disappointed him, and he was going to give me discipline. I craved the absolution I would attain as much as I feared the pain.
“What…” My voice trembled. “What are you going to do to me?”
His fingers traced the lower curve of my ass before slowly lifting the hem of my short skirt. My tiny black thong did nothing to protect my modesty. I shuddered at the exposure and at his light touch.
“I’m going to punish you. But you already know that.” He gripped my pussy roughly, rubbing his palm against my wet folds. I whimpered under the assault, torn between shock and arousal. “And you want it.” He pressed harder. “Don’t you?”
“Yes, Sir!” I gasped out. My inner walls fluttered, desperate for him to penetrate me. I pushed back against him.
He removed his hand, chuckling when I whined at the loss. Cool air brushed over my skin as his heat moved away from me. I craned my neck back to find him studying the wall of impact play implements. His head was cocked, considering. My stomach flipped when he selected a long, thin cane.
Derek had only hit me with the soft flogger and his hand. I suspected this had a harsher sting. He turned back to me, reading the trepidation in my eyes.
“Yes, Sharon. This will hurt. It’s supposed to hurt. It’s a punishment.” He explained my impending torment as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
And in some twisted way, it was. I longed for his correction, for the structure of his unique brand of intimacy.
The cane cut through the air with an ominous swish, and I tensed. Derek stayed his hand at the last second, and it barely tapped my skin. He began a light beat of staccato taps, moving the hits up and down, distributing the warmth of the little impacts. It didn’t hurt at all. If anything, it was pleasant.
“Did you break into my office?” Derek asked calmly.
I screamed when fire seared a horizontal line across my ass.
The taps resumed, and I gulped in the air I needed to answer.
“Yes, Sir,” I gasped out. There was no point lying about that. Derek knew his office had been locked.
“Why?”
A second burning line elicited a broken cry.
The soft tapping started up again. It helped spread the heat from the throbbing twin stripes, making it more bearable. And somehow, that heat spread between my legs. It pulsed into my core and my clit. I twisted against my restraints, but not in an effort to escape the pain. My body was alight with need, and I was desperate for any stimulation I could find.
“Why?”
Another stinging blow called my attention back to him.
“I wanted to surprise you.” I only just managed to remember my lie. The honesty of my submission saved me from his usual perceptiveness when it came to my deceit.
“You betrayed my trust,” he informed me.
Fire exploded across my sensitive thighs, and my scream turned to a choked sob.
“Are you sorry for that?”
“Yes, Sir. Yes, I’m sorry.” I wasn’t lying. I hated that I had disappointed Derek. I hated that I had forced him to defend me from the Kings and put his sister in danger. I hated that I had made him feel the loss of control in his life. I should never do anything but help him. It was wrong for Derek to hurt.
The cane clattered to the floor. “Such a sweet little sub.” He stroked my throbbing flesh.
I wasn’t sure if my tears were from the shot of pain or from his words of praise. I reveled in both. They meant forgiveness, healing. Blended with my pain and joy was arousal, hot and insistent.
“Please, Derek. I need you inside me.”
I needed to join with him, to give him the pleasure he had shown me, even as he gave me sweetest bliss.
“Fuck,” he groaned, a sound of pained longing and intense relief. It was accompanied by the sound of his zipper dropping and a condom wrapper being torn open. His hand tangled in my hair, and he tugged my face back to look at him. He shoved my thong aside, and his cock was at my entrance, hard and thick and ready to ravage me.
“Watch,” he growled. “Watch while I fuck your pussy for the first time.”
My moan at his crass words jolted to a scream when he entered me in one thrust. He was huge, much larger than any man I had ever been with. He stretched me mercilessly, invading every inch of me.
He didn’t pause to give me time to adjust. The predator was back, the wild beast that took and consumed and possessed. He fucked me ruthlessly, and I cried out in ecstasy at every jarring thrust. My pleasure was only heightened by the sight of his cock pounding into me, sliding into my slick folds with ease.
Bliss began to build within me, and I rode it greedily. I didn’t want this to end. I wanted to watch Derek fucking me, feel him filling me, forever.
His beautiful face contorted with his effort to restrain himself. He didn’t want this to end, either.
It was the sight of his ecstasy that brought about my own. I screamed out my orgasm, and my core began to contract around him. Pleasure slammed into me, threatening to make my vision go black. Resolutely, I focused on the sight of Derek’s pleasure that he found in joining with me.
“Fuck!” He came with a curse, and his fist tightened in my hair as he rode out his orgasm in a last few jarring thrusts. The tingling on my scalp melded with the sparks popping under my skin to wash my mind in electric ecstasy. Another orgasm rolled through my limp body, and I whimpered helplessly as it took me.
Derek collapsed atop me, breathing hard. His fingers eased their grip on my hair to lightly stroke my cheek.
“Fuck, Sharon.” He whispered my name reverently. “So fucking perfect.”
I turned my head, searching for his lips. His found mine, and I drank him in until I reached drunken oblivion.
Chapter 12
I was practically humming when I stepped out of the elevator into the FBI offices the next morning. My ass throbbed with each footfall, and I relished the reminders of Derek’s discipline. The pain had been cleansing, and the intimacy of finally joining our bodies after resisting for so long was glorious. Even the soreness between my legs was sweet.
“What the fuck are you thinking, Sharon?” Smith’s hulking frame suddenly cut in front of me, and I almost bumped into his hard chest. I backpedaled a few steps, staring up at him in confusion.
“I’m coming in to report to Kennedy.” I didn’t know why I bothered to explain myself to him, but something about his low, dangerous tone made the words pop out.
Clayton appeared beside Smith, creating a wall of solid muscle that blocked me from my boss’ office. To my shock, his expression was equally fierce.
“What’s wrong with you guys?” I asked, utterly bewildered.
“I warned you about Carter,” Smith ground out. “I had expected better of you.”
“Back off, James.” Reed was suddenly beside me. His hand rested on my shoulder in a show of support.
Clayton’s fury flared as he turned his attention to my partner. “And you. You’re supposed to be protecting her, Miller. Kennedy should fire you, rookie.”
My anger boiled to the surface, burning through my confusion. “What the fuck, Clayton? Leave him alone. He saved my ass last night.”
“No, he didn’t.” Clayton’s blue eyes blazed hotter than I had ever seen them. “He barely stopped the Kings from raping you. Which he wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t texted him to let him know that you were in trouble. And then he left you alone with Carter.”
“Wait. What?” Clayton had texted Reed to let him know that Reyes and Ortiz had me trapped? How had he known?
All the blood drained from my face. Oh, god. The bug. Clayton a
nd Smith had been listening in. And they had heard…
“Miller left and allowed Carter to take advantage of you, that’s what,” Smith snapped, recognizing my horrific epiphany.
Reed shot me an uneasy look, but he didn’t leave my side. “That’s none of your business,” he defended me staunchly. “This is Sharon’s op.” He turned a hard black stare on Clayton. “And if what I’ve heard is true, you weren’t exactly hands-off with your last assignment. You’re dating Rose Baker now, aren’t you?”
Clayton snarled and took an aggressive step forward. A strong hand on his shoulder restrained him. I glanced around him to find that Kennedy was holding him back. His hazel eyes were more green than brown, and they were narrowed to disapproving slits. Even worse, they were focused on me.
“I’ll handle this, Vaughn,” he told Clayton coolly. His eyes flicked to Reed in clear dismissal. “You have the day off, Miller. Go home.” Reed tensed, ready to stand his ground. “Now!” Kennedy snapped. “I won’t have bloodshed in the middle of the damn office. Get out unless you want James and Vaughn to tear you apart. We’ll discuss your performance later.”
Now it was Reed’s turn to look sick. Dread pooled in my stomach, making it churn faster.
Had I gotten Reed fired? He had wanted so badly to prove himself, but he had worked with me rather than burning me to advance his own position. Had he sacrificed his career to help me?
Reed tore his gaze from Kennedy’s, accepting his fate.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to mouth silently before he turned toward the elevator. He gave me a jerky nod, but there was no warmth in it, only defeat.
“Silverman.” I snapped to attention to find Kennedy’s gaze burning into me. “My office. Now.”
I would have rather run to the bathroom and vomited. My gut turned and twisted, and I suddenly couldn’t look any of the men in the eye.
Oh, god. They heard me having sex with Derek. They heard me submitting to Derek. I had called him Sir and begged him to fuck me. They would never respect me again. I thought busting Decadence was going to be my biggest triumph, but it had ruined me.
Fuck, I hadn’t even managed to bust the club. All I had done was allow Derek to tie me up and punish me and make me come.
No. No, that wasn’t right. I had planted the bug that caught the Kings discussing a shipment. And I had found out about Charlotte. I was so close to proving Derek’s innocence.
But proving Derek Carter’s innocence wasn’t my mission. Taking down an entire tribe of the Latin Kings was. I had nothing concrete when it came to that. A few minutes of audio weren’t going to be enough to move in on them. We could bring in Reyes and Ortiz, but they wouldn’t tell us shit.
For one wild moment, I thought about running. I wanted to run from Clayton and Smith’s anger, Kennedy’s disappointment, my failure.
But where would I run to? Home? I would find no solace in my father’s arms. They would wrap around me, but they wouldn’t hold any warmth. They hadn’t since Mom and Thomas had died sixteen years ago.
Steven was my next thought. Steven had been my rock, once. But I had broken his heart when I refused his proposal, when I chose my career over him.
The hard truth was that I had nowhere and no one to run to. There was only my job and my friendships with the guys, and I had managed to destroy both in those blissful minutes of ecstasy with Derek. Had it been worth it? Had he been worth it?
Derek.
I could run to him. He would hold me and comfort me. I could trust him with my vulnerability, and he wouldn’t think less of me for it. Even in my submission, he respected me.
And he was about to find out that I had betrayed him. Then even he would be lost to me. I had chosen my job over my heart again.
“Sharon.” Kennedy’s voice was softer this time, but no less authoritative. I realized that I had been standing there for several seconds as the full horror of my situation washed over me.
His office. Kennedy ordered me to come to his office.
Blindly, I followed where he led. I didn’t want to disappoint him. If I did everything right from now on, maybe I could somehow repair what I had broken. I could be good. I could be perfect.
With that, I found the steely determination within myself. That steel had been forged in death and tempered by my father’s apathy. It had pierced the heart of the only man who had ever loved me. Its cold kiss would see me through this. It was a cruel thing, but it was strong.
“Sit.”
I blinked, and my focus found Kennedy again. We were in his office, and the door was closed behind me. At least the guys wouldn’t be able to hear him reaming me for being a weak, incompetent slut.
No. Don’t go there.
I was Special Agent Sharon Silverman. Everything I had done had been for my mission.
And for Derek.
Obediently, I sank down into the hard backed wooden chair. Kennedy settled into his plush office chair on the other side of his desk. The way he occupied the space made it look like a throne. I waited for the dressing-down to begin.
“I want to start by saying I think you’ve done well.” His low voice was uncharacteristically soothing. “You’ve managed to convince me that the Kings are trafficking drugs through Decadence rather than casually dealing there. And then there’s Carter’s possible ties to the Westies. This could be a big win for us.”
I just sat there in silence, stunned by his praise. It was the last thing I had expected.
“But you do realize I can’t allow you to go back in.” It wasn’t a question. It was a decree. “I understand you want to succeed, Sharon, but there’s a limit. You put yourself in harm’s way to stay close to a mark. I never would have asked you to do that. In fact, I forbid it. I’m pulling you out, and we’re arresting Carter.”
“No!” The word was a little angry explosion. “I did not sleep with Derek to get more information out of him. And you’re not arresting him.”
Kennedy’s brows rose. “I’m not?” The question was soft, dangerous.
“No.” I sharply defied his authority. “He’s innocent.”
“We heard him discussing the shipment with Reyes and Ortiz. He’s involved.”
“Then you also heard him defending Charlotte. They’re threatening his sister. He doesn’t have a choice.”
Kennedy frowned, considering. “Even if that’s true, we need to bring him in. If we can get him on our side, we might have a real shot at taking down the Kings. We can offer to protect his sister if he helps us. If he refuses, he can go to jail.” He said the last with a dismissive shrug.
“You can’t arrest him! He won’t last one night in prison, and you know it. The Kings will kill him to keep him from talking.”
“All the more incentive for him to work with us.”
“You’re a cold bastard, Carver.” The furious words left my mouth before I thought. He was talking about gambling with Derek’s life.
Kennedy stood abruptly, and I couldn’t help but shrink back under the weight of the menace that suddenly rolled off him. “I would be very careful with what you say next, Silverman.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was more terrifying than if he had shouted.
Gathering my courage, I held his gaze. “I won’t let you get Derek killed.”
Hours seemed to pass as he stared at me in stony silence, testing my resolve. Finally, he gave a short nod and sat down. I sucked air back into my oxygen-starved lungs. I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath.
“We have to bring him in, Sharon. If he is being coerced, he should be happy to cooperate. And if he’s not, he’ll have to take his chances in prison.” He fixed me with a level look. “You do realize that I can’t save him if he’s guilty.” Again, it wasn’t a question. It was a hard truth. “The best I can do is offer him a deal in exchange for his information.”
Taking a shaky breath, I nodded. It wouldn’t come to that. Derek wasn’t guilty of anything but trying to protect his sister.
“I wan
t to be the one to bring him in.” No way was I going to let the guys do it. They would probably “accidentally” rip his balls off, given half the chance. “I owe him that.”
And if I come clean right away, maybe he’ll be able to forgive me for deceiving him.
It was a thin hope, but I couldn’t help but grasp at it.
“Okay, Silverman. But I’m sending Vaughn and Smith as backup. Don’t argue with me,” he barked before I could do just that. “Your judgment is obviously impaired when it comes to Carter, and I won’t have you going in alone.”
Grinding my teeth, I dropped my eyes in acceptance. If I had to take them as backup in order to be the one to go in first, I would. Even if Derek hated me for betraying him, I would ensure his freedom. He could hate me for as long as he lived, so long as he let me help him survive this.
I made Clayton and Smith wait down the hall in Derek’s swanky apartment block. I didn’t want them flanking me when he opened the door. I would go in and calmly explain the situation to him, and then he would cooperate fully. That was the plan.
I hoped to hell it worked.
My hand trembled when I rapped my knuckles against his apartment door, but their shaking did nothing to diminish the sharp sound. It was an official beat that usually let perps know I meant business.
A shadow passed over the peephole, and the door opened almost immediately.
“Sharon? What are you doing here?” Derek’s expression was dumbfounded, but not displeased.
“Can I come in?” I could have shown him my credentials and demanded admittance, but there was no need for that.
“Sure,” Derek stepped back. “How’d you know where I live?” He closed the door behind us.
I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Listen, Derek,” I began as steadily as I could manage. “I have to tell you something. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
“You know how I handle dishonesty,” he warned me. “Are you so eager for another punishment already?” His expression turned hard, but a small smile played around his mouth. He thought I was playing a game.
