Smasher’s distinguishing characteristic was that he believed violence was the answer to every problem. He was followed into the screening by Kelly and Conway. Their distinguishing characteristics were that they were the only two people in school who didn’t find Smasher’s company repulsive.
‘Don’t worry, I’m sure your brother will keep an eye out for you,’ Chris said.
‘Not a chance. My brother’s even wimpier than I am. I’d better go in and make sure I’m sitting as far away from Smasher as possible. The last thing I need is to get on his wrong side,’ Horace said. ‘Catch you later.’
‘Suddenly, Mouse Number 72 doesn’t seem that bad a choice,’ Sam said.
‘Why did you choose that film anyway?’ Amelia asked.
‘Because we can talk in there and not annoy anyone,’ Hannah said.
A couple of minutes later, the other Misfits understood what she meant. The cinema was filled with screaming babies, whimpering toddlers and wild five-year-olds energized by excessive intakes of sugar. Most of the parents would have preferred to be anywhere else in the world than where they were at that very moment. They were weary and red-eyed and Brian thought some of them looked as if they were on the verge of screaming themselves.
‘OK, good choice,’ Chris said. ‘We can talk as much as we want here and nobody’ll notice.’
They settled into some seats near the back.
‘Anyone got any popcorn?’ Sam asked.
‘I’ve got a bag of jelly snakes,’ Amelia said. She opened the bag and held it out. ‘Anyone want one?’
‘I love jelly snakes,’ Brian said, taking a handful. Maybe this Amelia girl isn’t so bad after all, he thought. Anyone who loved jelly snakes was all right in his book.
‘Focus, guys,’ Hannah said as the lights went down and the trailers began to play on the screen. The booming noise from the speakers wasn’t enough to drown out all the screaming and crying.
Chris unrolled the A3 poster he’d been guarding as if it was the most important thing ever. It was a grainy blown-up version of the photograph Amelia had taken in the cottage in the woods. Sam took out his mobile and switched on the torch function to make sure everyone could see the poster. As far as Amelia was concerned, the light only made things worse.
‘You can see right up my nostrils,’ she gasped.
It was the first thing she’d noticed.
‘At least you didn’t have any boogers. They’d have been magnified too. It wouldn’t have been a pretty sight,’ Brian said.
‘Are you mad? Giant boogers would have been awesome,’ Sam said.
‘Forget about Amelia’s nose –’
‘I don’t have boog—’ Amelia began.
‘– and focus on the rest of picture,’ Hannah said.
The rest of the picture was part of the fireplace, the window to the left and beyond that the small clearing that had once been the back garden. At the edge of the clearing lay the fuzzy figure that was perplexing them. He was hollow-cheeked, wore a hoodie that obscured his face, and a pair of dark-coloured gloves on his hands.
‘Man, that is one ugly old ghost,’ Sam said.
‘It’s not a ghost,’ Hannah said. ‘Look at his clothes. They’re modern.’
‘Maybe he’s just a fashionable kind of ghost,’ Sam said.
‘No,’ Hannah said. ‘It’s a man. I’m Irish and I’m Vietnamese and both sides love wandering spirits and ghouls, but I’m a detective too, so I have to be sensible and look at the facts. No matter how much I’d love it to be a ghost, I still think it’s a man.’
Sam sighed. ‘I was really hoping it’d be a ghost too. That would have been brilliant. I really wanted us to have one cool investigation before we left.’
Brian’s heart sank. He hated it when either of the twins mentioned they were leaving. It was horrible.
‘What was in the woods yesterday may not have been a ghost, but I don’t think that man was up to any good. Why would he be lurking around the woods like that?’ Chris asked.
‘We were lurking around the woods,’ Sam said reasonably.
‘But he’s wearing a hoodie and gloves and it wasn’t even cold yesterday,’ Hannah pointed out.
‘And he wailed and threw something at the wall when he saw my phone flash,’ Amelia said.
‘You mentioned that yesterday. You’re certain he wailed?’
‘There was definite wailage. You don’t wail when you think you’ve been photographed, unless you’re up to no good,’ Amelia said.
‘We shouldn’t be sitting here half watching a film for toddlers – we should be out there finding out what he was up to,’ Brian said.
‘He’s right,’ Hannah said. ‘Let’s go.’
They didn’t waste any more time hanging around the cinema. They bustled their way through the crowds of children playing in the aisle and made their way to the lobby.
As they were about to leave, Brian spotted Horace McCarthy hiding behind a large cardboard cut-out of a family of aliens. Horace was looking even paler than he had earlier, if that was possible.
‘Everything OK, Horace?’ Brian asked.
‘Not really. Smasher’s after me. You guys were right. Zombie Bloodfest 2 was too gory for me. I felt nauseous, so I decided to leave. I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. I got sick.’
‘Why would that matter to Smasher?’
‘I got sick on his shoes. My brother tried to help, but Smasher stuffed him in a bin. He’s stuck in there now.’
‘Act casual,’ Chris whispered.
Smasher was on the far side of the lobby, his face as twisted as an outraged demon’s. He looked as if he was ready to mangle anything or anyone who got in his way.
‘Don’t worry, Horace,’ Brian said. ‘We’re going to get you out of here.’
‘I appreciate the words of comfort, but I am worried, Brian. Look at him. He’s like a monster disguised as a teenager. I’m mincemeat.’
Brian’s glare quietened him. He turned to his fellow Misfits.
‘All right, here’s the plan: you four are going to stick close together and Horace is going to hide behind you. Provide cover for him until we get outside. If Smasher heads our way, I’ll create a distraction.’
‘How?’ Amelia asked.
Smasher was heading in their direction, growing larger and more menacing with every step he took.
‘Probably by getting severely injured,’ Brian said. ‘OK, move it.’
Smasher was halfway across the lobby when Brian stepped forward to meet him as the other four, standing closely together, began to shuffle sideways, like a group of crabs, from the cardboard cut-out to the cinema’s front door. Horace had ducked down low behind them, waddling along on his haunches, terrified that his pounding heartbeat would attract the attention of his enemy.
‘Hey, Declan,’ Brian said chirpily. ‘How’s it going?’
It took a moment for Smasher to realize someone was talking to him. He looked down at Brian.
‘Remember me?’ Brian said. ‘No? I was a year behind you in school. You were in Ms Knightl—’
‘You seen a small vomity fella?’ Smasher said, his voice deep and resonant.
‘Nope, can’t say I have,’ Brian replied.
‘Then get out of my way.’
‘He’s here,’ came an excited shout.
Kelly and Conway, Smasher’s friends, had spotted Horace lurking behind the Misfits. They’d almost made it as far as the door, but almost wasn’t enough.
Smasher was about to lurch forward when he felt a grip on his arm. Brian was doing his best to hold him back. It wasn’t a very effective tactic.
‘You’ve just made a huge mistake,’ Smasher said.
‘Think I’ve realized that now,’ Brian said, but he didn’t release his grip on the large teenager.
At the same time, Kelly and Conway were trying to push their way through the Misfits to get to Horace. The Misfits were putting up a fight, but the others were stronger. It was only a matter of t
ime before they broke through.
‘Tell my parents I loved them and that I want to be buried at sea,’ Horace squeaked.
Smasher easily prised Brian’s fingers from his arm, then grabbed him by the collar of his T-shirt, lifting him up, so that Brian’s legs dangled in the air. Even in the midst of his fear, he could smell the foul stench from Smasher’s shoes.
Oh, Horace, you idiot, Brian thought.
‘Let him go,’ Hannah shouted at Smasher. She’d broken away from the group and her rebellion was enough to surprise Kelly and Conway into stopping for a moment.
A slow, nasty smirk spread across Smasher’s flat features. ‘Let him go, or what?’
‘Or you’ll have me to deal with,’ Hannah said, striking a karate pose.
‘Oooh, I’m scared. Get lost, girly,’ Smasher said dismissively.
‘I’ve been training since the age of three,’ Hannah said. ‘I’m a fourth Dan black belt and I know two types of secret death grips that my grandfather passed on to me. If you think I’m lying, why don’t you try me? Or are you worried about being beaten up by a girl?’
‘You can’t win, Smasher,’ Brian said. ‘Even if you don’t lose the fight, you’ll be known around town as the huge guy that beat up a girl. Walk away.’
Smasher Grabbe considered it for a moment. The short fella was right – that wouldn’t do his reputation any good at all. He released his grip on Brian, who dropped to the ground with a graceless thump.
‘You two,’ he grunted at Kelly and Conway. ‘Leave them alone.’
‘But, Smasher—’ Kelly began.
‘I said, leave them alone.’ He turned to Horace. ‘I’ll see you again. Very soon.’
Horace began to tremble.
‘I’ll see you again too,’ Smasher said to Brian. ‘You won’t know where and you won’t know when—’
‘Probably around town since we both live here,’ Brian said.
A vein began to throb in Smasher’s temple.
‘Why are you antagonizing him?’ Chris whispered.
‘I don’t know. It’s a kind of sickness,’ Brian said.
‘Next time your Chinese friend won’t be around to save you,’ Smasher said.
‘I’m Irish, you jerk,’ Hannah said.
Amelia began to usher her friends towards the door. ‘Right, now’s the time to go, while we’re still alive and have all of our limbs.’
She made sure that Horace left before them and he ran home faster than he’d ever, or would ever, run in his life.
‘Remember when you said nothing happened around here?’ Chris said.
‘Yeah, with all the ghosts and thugs and stuff. I may have to revise that opinion,’ Sam said.
‘Do you really know karate?’ Amelia asked.
‘Never had one lesson,’ Hannah replied.
‘I don’t know about you,’ Sam said, ‘but I think we all need to go and sit somewhere comfortable and eat a bunch of burgers.’
‘Are you mad?’ Brian said. ‘I’m not hanging around any longer. We’re going back to the woods and we’re going now.’
CHAPTER TEN
Chris found the woods a lot creepier than he had the day before. He’d been intrigued by the possibility of a mystery and he loved investigating, but the parts he liked most were research, deduction and the use of logic. What he didn’t like was wandering around the woods with a potentially dangerous man on the loose, a man who clearly didn’t want them around. He couldn’t understand why the others were all so excited about checking it out. Hadn’t they ever watched a film before? Things always ended badly for people who went investigating by themselves in dark woods.
‘What did you tell your mother?’ Amelia asked.
‘I told her Sam and Chris’s parents were dropping us to the end of the road and then I was going over to your grandmother’s house,’ Hannah replied.
‘What if she looks for you there?’
‘Florence is always out in the fields doing something. The chances of catching her at home are slim. And, to be honest, Mum’s not likely to call over. She’s scared of your gran.’
‘She can be a little scary.’
‘I think she’s cool,’ Hannah said.
It wasn’t as dark in the forest as it had been the previous afternoon, but they’d still brought along a huge torch, which Sam had liberated from a kitchen cupboard. They needed the light to help them pick their way through the roots and brambles, which they’d all tripped over running away in terror the day before. They’d been in a hurry to get going, so despite Chris’s pleadings there hadn’t been enough time to work out any kind of detailed plan.
‘There’s no need,’ Brian had said. ‘We go into the cottage, have a look around. See if there’s anything odd that we didn’t see before. Look for clues. That’s it.’
They reached the cottage within a few minutes and Chris gasped.
‘What’s wrong now?’ Sam sighed.
‘Look.’ He was standing at the front door, examining the handle. The others crowded around him.
‘What are we supposed to be looking at?’ Sam asked.
Hannah answered the question for him. ‘There’s a padlock on the door. There wasn’t a lock there yesterday.’
The padlock had a thick brass body and a silver shackle. Brian knew that no one would go to the trouble of putting one on the door unless they had something to hide.
‘We could try to pick the lock. Well, I can’t, but you could, Chris. You watched all those YouTube videos, right, that time we were investigating the Mystery of the Houdini Goat?’ Brian said.
Amelia opened her mouth to speak, but Hannah cut her off.
‘Don’t ask,’ she said.
‘You know how to do it, don’t you?’ Brian continued.
Chris did remember. When he studied something, he really put his heart and soul into it and when it came to things like watching How To videos he had a perfect memory. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. They suspected the man was up to no good, but that didn’t give them the right to just break into the cottage, did it?
‘Give me a second. I need to think about this,’ Chris said.
We should really tell someone, he thought. But would anyone take them seriously? They could always ask their cousin, Debra. She was an officer of the law. She’d listen to them. It was definitely a matter for the authorities. Yet, on the other hand, if he didn’t pick the lock, then he’d be letting his friends down. It’d been ages since their previous investigation and this was likely to be their very last one before the club disbanded and his family moved to Galway. No, he still couldn’t do it, he decided. The Misfits Club upheld the law; it didn’t break the l—
‘I’m in.’
When Chris turned round, the lock was on the ground, a chunk of the door was missing and Sam was standing there, an odd expression on his face and a rock in his hand. He’d bashed his way in.
‘I only gave it a tap,’ Sam said. ‘We must have softened it up yesterday when Amelia got stuck in there.’
‘Oh, we’re going to get in so much trouble,’ Chris said, with a forlorn shake of his head.
‘I had to do it,’ Sam said. ‘This isn’t like homework or eating healthily – this is important.’
‘Don’t worry about it now,’ Hannah said.
‘Don’t worry about it? How can you be so calm? We’re literally at the halfway point of breaking and entering,’ Chris said. He took a deep breath. ‘OK, guys, the breaking has been done. Nothing we can do about that now. These things happen. As long as we don’t follow the breaking with some entering, then we can sort—’
Sam was leading the way. He pushed the door open.
‘Do not go in there. As your older brother, I forbid you to go into that cottage.’
Sam stepped inside and was quickly followed by Brian, Hannah and Amelia.
‘What’s wrong with all of you? Don’t you understand what forbidding means? We’re supposed to be detect
ives, not criminals.’
There was no reply. They were ignoring him. He let out an involuntary scream when a rabbit surprised him by gently bunny-hopping into the clearing. Chris had the decency to look embarrassed about it. He really was on edge.
‘Nobody heard that squeal? No? Good, good. I can still pretend I have some self-respect,’ he muttered. ‘Hello there, little guy.’
The rabbit stared back at him.
‘This place is creepier than I remember,’ Hannah said, brushing aside a thick curtain of cobwebs from her face as she reached the sitting room with the fireplace. ‘You did well to stay in here for almost five minutes, Amelia.’
‘It wasn’t that bad,’ Amelia said, hoping the others didn’t notice the shakiness in her voice.
‘No, I agree with Hannah. You did well,’ Brian said.
As Hannah and Amelia began their examination of the living room, Brian and Sam made their way into what had once been the kitchen.
‘Can we finish up? I have things to do,’ Chris shouted from outside.
‘You can tidy your room and iron your jeans later,’ Sam said. He turned to the others. ‘I know he’s my brother and I’m legally obliged to love him, but sometimes he really gets on my nerves.’
Twenty minutes later, after a thorough examination, the four inside the cottage still hadn’t found anything.
‘We’ve checked everywhere and we haven’t come across one suspicious item,’ Hannah said. ‘How’s that for bad luck?’
‘Any crisps left?’ Brian asked.
‘What about the attic?’ Chris shouted. ‘Did you check there?’
He’d grown bored and was sitting on the ground outside the cottage, aiming the torch in the direction of anything that moved or appeared to move. He still didn’t like the idea of them breaking and entering, but he hated the idea of them finding absolutely nothing even more.
‘Is there an attic?’
‘It’s got a peaked roof and low ceilings, right? That means there’s space overhead. It may not be used, but it could be an attic.’
‘I’m on it,’ Hannah said.
They searched everywhere they thought an attic door might be located and were about to give up when Amelia spotted it in the gloom. A tiny circle, no more than a groove in the kitchen ceiling. A little brass ring that had been painted the same colour white as the kitchen had once been.
The Misfits Club Page 7
