“Tanner’s the most mild-mannered individual I’ve ever met,” Ron said, his gaze serious. “I watched that boy step in front of a fist aimed at his little brother once. I’d just dropped him off home and glanced back to see him into the house. That’s when I saw this man haul off to hit the younger one, and like a panther, Tanner slid in to take it. Then, as though nothing had happened, he put his arm around the little guy and calmly walked into the house. The moment’s as clear as if it just happened.”
“Who was the guy?” she asked. And then, “No, wait, you didn’t ask, right?” That was the wine talking. And maybe a piece of her heart, too. The piece that was crying for the young man Tanner had been.
“I didn’t ask, no,” Ron said. “But I also never saw him around again.”
“How often were you around to see?”
“I made it my business to stop by the boy’s house every day for a while after that, just to make certain that there was no more of that nonsense going on.”
“So you knew Tanner’s mother, then?”
“Tammy? There aren’t many people in their neighborhood who didn’t know her. Nice lady, when she was sober. Just didn’t happen all that often.”
“But you didn’t turn her in.”
“Actually, I did. Twice. Both times the kids were questioned. She was questioned. They all went into counseling. I know because Tanner didn’t come around to help as often when he had to go to sessions, and things would be better for a bit. But it didn’t last.”
And Ron hadn’t been able to, or maybe hadn’t wanted to, do anything about that?
“I offered him a room at my place, but he wouldn’t leave those kids. And he swore that he’d take them and run if I turned them in again. Said he was doing just fine, and if they got reported again, the state would split them up. I didn’t have the heart to do that to him. So I just made sure there was always lots of work for him.”
The man’s gaze toward Tanner was filled with regret.
“You wish now you’d done it? Turned them in again?”
“Hell, no,” Ron said, glancing back at her. “I wish he’d met you ten years ago. All Tanner needs is a good woman and I’m guessing, no matter what you say, if he brought you here, you’re that woman. I know Tanner.”
Liquid fire shot through her. Because of the wine.
She could not be turned on by the idea of being Tanner Malone’s woman.
* * *
“I TALKED TO my folks about you.”
Glancing over at the woman in the passenger’s seat of his truck as they sat in her driveway Saturday evening, Tanner liked the relaxed way Sedona’s head lay back against the seat.
“You did?” he asked. She’d had quite a bit more to drink than he had. Not so much that she was drunk, but enough to have loosened her tongue.
And he was willing to take advantage of the windfall.
“Yeah.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I never have trouble maintaining professional boundaries.”
So one could infer from her statement that... “But with me you do?”
“I like you.”
It wasn’t enough for him to go on. “Let’s walk,” he suggested, afraid she’d get sleepy and go inside, leaving him to replay the afternoon as he tried to figure out Sedona’s place in his life.
He was afraid that the evening might end before he had a chance to kiss her.
Because if she liked him, she’d help him get Tatum home. He really, really needed his desire for this woman to be for that reason only.
She took him down to the beach and was fine walking in the sand as soon as she took off her sandals, but didn’t seem the least bit inclined to continue the conversation they’d been having in the truck.
“So what did your parents have to say about me?”
Obviously, they hadn’t said anything too awful. She’d invited him to her home. Was now alone with him outside in the dark.
“Mom thinks that Tatum adores you, but that there’s been a serious breach of trust between you two.”
His heart thudded deeply in his chest. Was she about to tell him that she’d decided to help Tatum leave him? The sand gave way beneath his feet, making walking more difficult.
“And your father?”
She was only a foot or so away, but he had to raise his voice to be heard over the surf.
“He thinks you’re getting a bum rap all the way around.”
He let the sound of the waves cover his silence. Let them be the conversation. He should get whatever information he could from her and go. Figure out what he was going to do if she decided that Tatum was right, that living with him on the farm wasn’t best for her anymore.
But a war was raging inside of him. Between guardian and man. His entire adult life had belonged to the guardian. Tonight, the man was fighting for life. He wanted these few minutes with Sedona. Wanted to relax and enjoy the peace that she seemed to bring into every room she was in. Into every space she occupied—even outdoors.
He matched his long-legged pace to her more sedate one, listening to the waves. They’d rush angrily forward, and then, spent, retreat more quietly out to sea.
Much like the emotions that assaulted him, still, after so many years of schooling them. He’d feel the surge, and then, with a deep breath, wait for the wave to quietly retreat back from whence it had come.
They reached a fence, marking the end of the private beach, and Sedona headed up along the fence line, a little farther from the water.
Her hand brushed his and his fingers burned to take hold of hers, to grasp them and hang on.
“So why are you telling me this?” he asked, because it was all he could do.
“Honestly?” She kicked at the sand, sending it shooting in front of them. “I’m not sure.”
“Guess.”
Head bent, she continued to slowly traverse the beach and he shortened his pace once more.
“I like you.” She repeated what she’d said earlier, but with a deeper note to her voice.
“And that’s a problem?”
“It is if it gets in the way of my professional judgment.”
And yet, that was just what he was hoping for. Or was he just hoping she liked him? Separate and apart from his little sister.
“So don’t let it.”
“I’m trying not to. But...”
Another surge of emotion hit him at that “but” and he waited for it to dissipate before saying, “What are you afraid of?”
She shrugged again. Her shoulders, accentuated by the thin cotton straps of her dress, seemed so feminine to him. So...in need of protection.
“I guess that you’ll like me, too.”
“And that would be so terrible?”
“That depends.”
“On what?” A dog barked in the distance—the deep bark of a big dog—and the beach was pitch-black. Glancing the few acres between them and a half wall that separated the beach from the yards beyond, he noticed a few lights on, but knew that the people in those homes couldn’t see him.
He liked it that way. To be able to observe without being seen.
To know without being known.
And he was tired of it, too. So tired...
Where in the hell had that thought come from?
“On whether or not your sister is better off someplace besides your home.”
“She isn’t.”
“So you say.”
“So I know.”
She stopped, moving closer to him until he could see into her eyes. And, he was afraid, until she could see into his.
“I believe you, Tanner.” Her whisper was so soft it was almost lost in the sound of the surf.
And he bent his head. The mov
e wasn’t premeditated in that moment, though it would have been if he’d thought about it. Problem was, he wasn’t thinking. He touched his lips to Sedona’s and just...felt.
Her lips. Her kiss. Searing desire. And more, too. He wanted the kiss to go on forever. To transport him out of the life he’d been born to into a world where he was just a guy, free to love this smart, beautiful, successful woman.
And then she pulled her lips from his. “But...” she said, her voice thick. “If I find out that your sister’s fear stems from you, as she says it does, then I’ll have no choice but to turn you in.”
She wasn’t going to be wooed. No matter how much she wanted him. He could see the truth in the stiffness of her shoulders. A contradiction to the tautness of those unfettered nipples touching the front of her dress.
He could taste her desire for him in her kiss, see it in her eyes, and could hear the conviction of her purpose in the tone of her voice.
“Fair enough.”
“It’s not fair at all. To any of us.”
He needed to argue. To keep her on Tatum’s case because he’d already won half the battle. She believed him. For now.
And because he knew more than anyone that life wasn’t fair.
“So recuse yourself,” his traitorous self, that emotional being who’d been forcing himself into Tanner’s life of late, suggested.
“Believe me, I’ve thought about it.” Sedona started to walk again. He took her hand. She held on.
And it felt good.
Better than he’d imagined.
“So do it.”
“And risk having Tatum go to the police about you? Risk another attorney making her feel as though she has no other choice?”
God, no. He dropped her hand. What in the hell was he thinking?
He hadn’t been. And that was the problem.
“What did your parents say about us?” She’d told them that Tatum and Tanner were at odds.
“That I should trust myself and listen to my heart. And Lila believes, as I do, that there’s too much risk to Tatum if I abandon her. Something is obviously going on with her. Until we find a way to get her to tell us what it is, we can’t know what’s best for her. She’s engaging in her sessions with Sara. Paying attention. Asking questions. She’s just not talking yet, beyond what she’s already told us.”
“So trust your heart.”
As long as it was telling her to trust him.
“I’m trying.”
Which was more than he could say for himself. Walking her up to her door, Tanner said good-night to Sedona without touching her again.
Because he knew, even if she didn’t, that he’d given up trusting anyone too long ago to remember.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SHE’D IMAGINED WHAT having sex would be like since she’d fallen in love with Del. Especially since Maddie talked about it so much. Her friends said the first time hurt. But that it didn’t have to if you did things right.
As long as she was really turned on. And Del was patient and tender. Romance was supposed to help, too.
But it was a little hard to have romance or expect patience when you were in the backseat of a car skipping out of an English class that you’d really wanted to attend.
“I have to be back in twenty-five minutes, max,” she said, sliding into Del’s car Monday afternoon—a week and a day since she’d had dinner at Sedona’s parents’ house. A week and a day since she’d been anywhere except The Lemonade Stand and school.
Del had hung out at two different parties over the weekend, Friday night and Saturday night. He’d come pretty close to hooking up with someone, according to what she’d seen on Facebook.
She’d texted him, all night both nights, asking him about the girl. He’d promised he still loved her, but he was tired of being all alone. She had her new friends, people who cared about her and were helping her. She got to live with a roommate and choose her own meals every night and go to bed when she decided to. He was still forced to live like a prisoner in his father’s house.
And his old man had been in a particularly bad mood on Sunday. He’d broken his golf club and taken it out on Del.
Tatum’s heart bled for him and she had to see him. The only time he could get away from Brophy and sneak over to her school had been during English. And so here she was, dressed in a skirt, just like he’d instructed by text that morning, and climbing into his car parked by some bushes on the street just behind the high school.
“Come here, baby,” he said, already in the backseat.
Her foot got caught in the seat belt up front as she attempted to climb over. And she hit her head on the overhead light.
Del didn’t seem to notice her clumsiness. His eyes glowed with happiness and pleasure as she settled down next to him.
“That’s too far away,” he said, his voice all low and hoarse sounding, as he pulled her onto his lap. She could feel his penis pushing into her underwear.
And suddenly she just wanted to get it over with. There’d be time for romance. And patience. When she and Del were married and had a home of their own.
This day was about him. About putting him before her. He was being so good to her, sticking by her while she did nothing but tend to herself at The Lemonade Stand. She was so busy figuring out her messed-up life, she hadn’t been much of a girlfriend to him at all.
And still he’d stayed faithful to her. Only wanting what was best for her. And like he’d said from the beginning, if you wanted a relationship to work, you had to think about the other person, too, not just push for yourself.
She’d been pushing him to stop smoking dope at the time. And had grabbed that joint from him and thrown it in the ocean. That had been why he’d hit her that first time. He’d just been throwing his arm out to save the joint. And she’d been too close.
“Come on, baby, move with me here,” he said now as he pushed his penis harder against her crotch, while she just sat there with that heavy feeling she got every time she remembered worrying about someone seeing the bruise.
If she’d told how she got it―because, after all, it was just a mistake―she’d have had to tell on him for doing drugs. And he’d promised her he was going to stop.
Del’s lips closed over hers. His tongue touched hers, and she forgot everything. Her crotch started to tingle and get all warm and wildly weird-feeling and she knew she was doing the right thing.
She was thinking about him. Because he was so good to her.
His hands slid up her thighs, smoothly, like he knew exactly what he was doing. That was Del. Always so in control and sure of himself. Capable. He could do anything he wanted to do. And always kept his promises to her. He’d be a good man. A good father.
His hands were in her panties. He’d asked her to wear a thong, but she didn’t have any. Her big brother saw her laundry, or he had until she’d started staying at The Lemonade Stand.
Thoughts of Tanner, of sweet Maddie and Sedona and the rest of them, wiped out all of the delicious warm feeling, leaving her nervous about the time.
And wishing Del wouldn’t touch her.
Almost as if he could read her mind, he kissed her again. God, she loved his kisses. From the very first night she’d met him, she’d lost it when he kissed her. He’d gotten hard that first night, too. It had been her first personal experience with the way a man’s penis grew.
He pulled her panties down and left them dangling on her left ankle. His pants were already undone and she realized they had been before she got in the car. He wasn’t wearing any underwear. He already had on the condom.
And before she could have second thoughts, or really even a first one, he’d shoved himself up inside of her vagina and she thought she was going to die. It burned. Like ripped skin. All the way up inside her. She hurt so bad she fi
gured she had to be gushing blood.
Thankfully, Del didn’t move. She’d heard that guys went in and out, but Del didn’t. He must have figured out that he’d done something wrong. That she was hurt.
And how the heck was she going to explain it? Was she hemorrhaging?
“God, baby, that was fantastic....”
It was?
Afraid to pull herself off from him, afraid of how badly it was going to hurt, and of the blood that would rush down when she did, Tatum tried not to cry.
“We need to set a date to do this every Monday,” he said, and jerked, pulling himself out of her as he pushed her over to the seat next to him and did up his pants.
She stared at his penis. The condom was completely full. There was no blood there.
“I don’t mean to rush you,” Del said, leaning over to give her a quick kiss. “But you better get your underwear back on and get back to class.”
Wow. That was it?
Stunned, Tatum did as she was told, managing to figure out that while she was bleeding, it was a little enough amount that her panties could handle it.
He said something more to her. She could hear his voice. She just wasn’t paying all that much attention. Opening the door, she slid out.
“Hey, baby, what about my kiss?” Del’s eyes glowed. His smile was huge and made her belly flip-flop. Leaning back in, she kissed him. Really kissed him. To see if the feeling came back.
To her surprise, and huge relief, it did. So maybe it was like they said, the first time wasn’t so great, but the next time would be.
Not that she was in any hurry for a next time.
“I love you,” Del said, tweaking her nipple outside her bra and shirt. She tingled there, too. In a good way.
“I love you.”
“You gave me the greatest gift a girl could ever give a guy today,” he said, his gaze completely serious. “You gave me your virginity. Thank you, babe.”
And just like that, she was ecstatically happy again. Del wasn’t just out to get some. He valued what she’d done for him. He valued her. “You’re welcome.”
“And remember,” he added just before she shut the door, “it’s all mine. You don’t lift that skirt for anyone but me.”
Once a Family Page 15
