“I’ll miss you as well, my little Marigold,” he breathed, resting his chin on her head and hugging her once again. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath of his scent, trying to commit it to memory.
Chapter 10
Ben stared at the computer screen before him, drawing a blank. This last week, since returning to Afghanistan, had been the longest week ever. Everything was bothering him, he was snapping at people for no reason, and fighting the urge to ask how Marigold took it when he left. Part of him wanted to know if she missed him…
He certainly missed Marigold.
The flight had been painful in a way he had never felt before. It felt like he was being torn physically between duty and choice. He wanted to go running back to the cabin, pull Marigold into his arms, and kiss her senseless… but that was just a dream.
Possibly a nightmare.
The secrets that ate at him, the internal scars that kept him from acting on his desires, seemed to be torn back open and all he could think of was that he should have kissed Marigold instead of holding back.
He would never know if there was anything between them if he never attempted to even try and give them a chance. He wanted to tell her so much, to see her smiling face and dancing eyes… and knew that he couldn’t. She needed someone loving and carefree in her life – and that wasn’t him.
Ben got up from the computer and forfeited the remainder of his hour. Several men in line waiting looked at him in surprise. He didn’t say a thing, knowing that if he did… he might actually break down to the warring emotions boiling inside of him.
Dear Ben,
I hope all is well and it was such a joy to meet you in person. I feel like you really get to know someone by learning how they think and what they say – and I treasure your friendship. Please be safe, take care of yourself, and try to smile once in a while.
I’ll admit that when I got home, the first thing I did was to look up at the night sky to see if I could see anything so surreal like we did early that morning on the balcony. There was something so blissfully magical about being able to share that moment with my most cherished friend.
Write when you can – and think of me.
Marigold
Hi Ben,
I mailed you another box of treasures for you and Paladin. Today I spent some time over at Daisy and Ethan’s place, petting the puppies and dogs. I will admit I got really scared at one point – there was an aggressive little doggie there that would come running up to me, snarling and growling like she was a timber wolf!
It was the funniest thing! I am so proud of myself for trying to get used to the animals – Paladin was so sweet and I was envious of how you two interacted together at the beach. I look at that photo sometimes and wish I had taken the chance to throw the stick with him for a bit. I guess I missed my chance… but I plan to do so next time we are all together again!
I miss my friend,
Marigold
Hi Ben,
Am I bothering you by writing? I haven’t heard from you lately and hope you are safe and healthy. Just let me know if you are alright so I can quit worrying about you, friend.
Marigold
I should have kissed you – and I’m scared to ruin things between us.
Ben
Marigold stared at the computer screen and couldn’t help the burst of joy that touched her heart. She understood what his words – and was so relieved he was okay. She had wished he’d indulged in her request on that balcony in Alaska over and over again. The fact that he regretted it, thought about it, and was scared it could spoil things was a sign that this was just as important to him – as it was to her.
Everything else could be worked out over time or through discussions. Nothing was impossible as long as you worked together to get through it. She understood the fear, but the sense of longing was also overriding any sense of coherent thoughts, as well.
Her response to his email was simple.
There’s always next time.
~Marigold
Chapter 11
Ben came straight to the hospital from the airport. Hody sounded so lost on his last email, his thoughts scattered, and the panic he felt for his wife was clearly evident. Leia was pregnant and it had been a difficult last few months for the woman.
Putting his plans for a trip aside, Ben took this moment as a chance to be there for someone who he’d grown closer to over the last few months. Once it had been revealed to him that Hody was insecure, it was almost a relief to realize he wasn’t such an abrasive guy, but rather hiding behind a protective shell.
That – and Hody had married the woman he’d met via email… the more he learned of the man, the more Ben began to pay attention, hoping his own future could turn out just as well… eventually.
If he was lucky.
If he played his cards right.
If Marigold was understanding and could see past his prior mistakes. Ben was just wanting to see Marigold and thinking of the trip he’d been planning for them to meet up. He wanted it to be a surprise for her, planning on whisking her away unexpectedly, and asking evasive questions via email.
He knew Marigold was a romantic, because she always seemed to have a fanciful streak to her personality. He’d been digging around under the premise of ‘trying to get to know her better’.
Marigold,
I’m curious, what do you prefer? Beaches or Glens?
Ben
Dear Ben,
Oooh, definitely glens! I picture a misty morning on a craggy moor in the highlands, would be an ideal place to have a cup of coffee and dream – and oh! If there was a fairy ring or Stonehedge in the background? Bonus! What about you?
Marigold
My sweet Marigold,
Definitely glens… I prefer to stay away from sand. I’m sure you understand. Exploration or Festivals?
Yours,
Ben
Dearest Ben,
Festivals! I love to celebrate. There is nothing better than being around people that are happy, joyful, and feeling carefree. If you are exploring somewhere, there is always a sense of mystery or danger. Festivals, to me, mean laughter and enjoyment.
~ Mari
My Marigold,
There’s something to be said for both. I think exploration can be all those things if you are with the right person and in the right environment – but I understand what you are saying. You remind me of a celebration, truthfully. Full of joy, bright and colorful, and unforgettable.
Land or Sea?
Yours truly,
Ben
Dearest Ben,
Awww! Are you a flatterer? You are terribly sweet to say such things. I’m touched by your words and never would have thought of myself that way.
Land or sea? Probably sea…
It makes me think of mysterious depths, mermaids, graceful creatures that have roamed the world just existing in their natural habitat. There’s something so wonderous about the ocean and makes me think of us taking that picture together. I attached a copy to the email for you (if you wanted a copy. I never thought to ask before – sorry!)
Yours,
Marigold
My Marigold,
I agree completely. Again, nothing with sand.
I’d prefer a different environment completely. Thank you for sending me that photo. I treasure that unexpected moment that I got to share with you. I printed the picture out and keep it in my wallet. We should take more photos together… maybe next time?
~ Ben
P.S. Mythic or Real
Mythic.
This is all a dream to me and I don’t ever want to wake up.
Yours,
~ Marigold
Their upcoming trip would now no longer be a surprise, but now could be something they could talk about in person, using it as an icebreaker. He felt so nervous about seeing Marigold after revealing that he regretted not kissing her in Alaska.
Here he was, in Tyler, sitting among his brothers and knew Marigold wa
s on the way to the hospital from her little shop. She’d texted Lily to let her know she was on the way there, making Ben wish he’d taken the time to get a cell phone of his own. Maybe he would splurge and purchase the extravagance while he was here.
Ben glanced around the waiting room and tried to ignore the muffled cries of pain coming from down the hallway. Every time the security doors opened, he got an earful and was relieved when the doors shut once again, giving him blissful silence that was only interrupted by the faint drone of the television.
John, Colin, and Mike were sitting nearby, trying to get some rest in a variety of different positions on the seats in the waiting area. It had been a long two days since Leia had gone into labor and the flock of friends had decided to pull shifts at the hospital in silent support of the couple having their first child.
This reminded Ben so much of that night long ago. His world had changed so much, so fast. He’d been so stupid, so immature, and done so much damage.
“A penny for your thoughts, my friend,” Marigold offered, handing him a cup of coffee.
Ben looked around and saw Lily’s knowing smile, assuming instantly that she had told Marigold he was here in the waiting area. Instead of being taken by surprise by his appearance, she was happily looking forward to seeing him – reaching out to comfort, just like she did with each letter.
She was so polite, so nice, and so outgoing… and deserved so much more than him. He wasn’t a vain man by any means, but it wasn’t an understatement to say that he knew Marigold was interested. She’d practically told him as much that afternoon, in Anchorage, by the ocean and again as they said their goodbyes to each other, looking for the aurora borealis.
“C’mon, let’s talk,” Marigold offered, extending a hand.
Ben stood and absently took the offering, linking his hand with hers, while holding the coffee in the other one. They walked slowly down the hallway to where the inner atrium was. The door slid open and she stepped out into the fresh air. The sunlight was streaming down and made her blonde hair glisten in the sunlight.
“Maybe we should head back?”
“Ben, you need to find a way to relax and live a little bit. The baby will come when it’s time and no matter how long you wait in that chair, it will not change.”
“You just don’t understand,” he said with a ragged sigh, setting down the cup of coffee on a windowsill ledge.
“Then tell me,” Marigold beseeched sweetly with a smile. “Let someone in to help you. I want to be your friend and I see so much goodness in you. You seem so very nice and right now - my goal in this very moment - is to make you smile. I know there’s got to be one tucked deep down inside and I bet it’s beautiful,” she teased.
He stared down at her bright green eyes. Marigold was like the flower; warm, bright, and glorious in such a natural way that he felt humbled. This beautiful woman never gave up and saw the best in people. There was an infinite tenderness in her gaze that made him yearn for some sort of comfort for his own damaged soul.
A comfort he couldn’t deny any longer.
Ben leaned down and kissed her.
Marigold was stunned to get the simple text message from Lily – and a little hurt. Ben is here, was all the message said and she nearly put her Toyota pickup truck into a ditch.
He was here?
She’d had no idea that he was coming to Texas and assumed something was up his sleeve by the way he kept asking her about her preferences on what she liked and places she wanted to see. Part of her hoped they would be discussing another chance to meet up in the future, but never expected it to be today… nor at the hospital.
She had walked to the café first from the parking lot, making a run for coffee for the group of friends that gathered to support each other when needed – a group she was proud to be included in.
Grabbing the trays of coffee from the café, she walked up the floor to Labor and Delivery only to see Daisy and Ethan standing quietly together, their heads close by and whispering until they saw her. The couple was so sweet together, so perfect.
She utterly adored Daisy and thought she had to be one of the most courageous women out there, after learning about her double amputation. Then hearing of Ethan’s loss of limb, it was touching to learn that tragedy was what had brought them together in the first place.
“We can take those for you,” Daisy offered with a knowing smile. “You have a guest that arrived about an hour ago. Poor thing looks quite beside himself.”
“He’s been here an hour?”
“We weren’t supposed to bother you while you were at work,” Ethan said with a smile. “So, let’s hear it, do you know who spilled the beans?”
“No,” Marigold fibbed, protecting the woman that had introduced her to Ben in the first place.
“I’d get him out of the waiting area. He looks positively green about the gills from stress. I’m surprised he showed up in support.”
“Of course he would, why wouldn’t he?”
“Ben is a very strict, by the book, old-fashioned type of guy. He just always struck me as the kind of guy that would be sitting somewhere smoking a cigar waiting for the announcement, rather than pacing the hallways.”
“Family means a lot to him,” Marigold said quietly, “and he considers you all part of his family.”
“It’s the same for us,” Ethan said, smiling. “Go on and take him for a walk or something. He’s making me nervous.”
Marigold picked up two cups of coffee off the trays and proceeded to walk into the waiting area. Sure enough, several men were prowling the floors, pacing, like caged tigers. Ben was so quiet, so secretive sometimes and she wished he would open up a little more or talk about his feelings. He was obviously in distress.
His handsome face was beyond pale, making his dark eyes almost stark against his skin as he looked up. The lines near his eyes and mouth were pinched with strain; his hands gripping the chair rails tightly.
“C’mon, let’s talk,” Marigold offered, extending a hand.
Ben stood and absently took the coffee cup, linking his hand with hers tightly. She pulled him away, walking slowly down the hallway to where the inner atrium was in the middle of the hospital. She’d delivered a few rose bushes here last year and thought that it was a beautiful escape from the clinical sterility of the hospital. The door slid open and she stepped out into the fresh air, sighing happily as the sunlight touched her face.
“Maybe we should head back?” Ben said quietly, looking nervous.
Marigold turned to look at him, seeing the anxiety in his stance and something else. There was a look to his eyes that made her heart hurt. Had he lost someone at this hospital? She knew his family lived within driving distance, maybe something had happened.
“Ben, you need to find a way to relax and live a little bit. The baby will come when it’s time and no matter how long you wait in that chair, it will not change.”
“You just don’t understand,” he said with a ragged sigh, setting down the cup of coffee on a windowsill ledge.
“Then tell me,” Marigold beseeched sweetly, with a smile.
“Let someone in to help you. I want to be your friend and I see so much goodness in you. You seem so very nice and right now - my goal in this very moment - is to make you smile. I know there’s got to be one tucked deep down inside and I bet it’s beautiful,” she breathed, feeling the truth in her words and caressing his cheek.
The bristles of his neatly trimmed beard tickled her fingers. His brilliant brown eyes stared into hers for a moment before he leaned forward, his lips touching hers ever so softly.
Marigold chucked the coffee cup carelessly over her shoulder.
She could feel his lips smile against hers as she stepped into his deepening embrace. Her hand slid from his cheek to grasp the back of his neck, holding him against her. She’d waited for this moment for so long, wishing, wondering, dreaming what it would be like to kiss Ben.
He lingered against her lips, softly to
uching, kissing, savoring this unexpected stolen moment of intimacy between them. She was touched when he pressed his forehead against hers, caressing her nose with his own, before kissing her again. It was like the floodgates that had held back for so long had finally broken free.
“We could have done this in Alaska,” she whispered, smiling.
“Somethings are worth waiting for,” he breathed, the side of his lips curling upwards in a tantalizing manner that made her toes curl.
“You are worth waiting for,” she corrected, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again, unwilling to let him slip away from her again.
Hours later, the group of friends stood before the nursery glass admiring the dark-haired cherub that screamed angrily at the nurse checking his vitals.
“Oh, my goodness,” Daisy breathed reverently, staring at the glass. “Who would have thought that Hody and Leia would make such a beautiful baby?”
“They are truly a gift,” Lily whispered, looking up at John, who had little Rose asleep on his shoulder. A large puddle of drool stained his shirt and the man looked utterly enchanted by his daughter as her thumb hung halfway out of her mouth.
“Yes, they are, sweet Lily,” John said affectionately, carefully leaning down to kiss his wife. Leia was sleeping and Hody wouldn’t leave her side after the hard labor. Ava and Colin had left to take their daughter home to eat dinner and get ready for bed.
The nurse suddenly turned, holding the now sleeping baby towards the window as she put Hody’s son into the bassinet. The baby boy gave a mighty yawn, revealing his gums and then a flicker of a smile touched his cheek.
“Awww, he’s precious, Ben,” Marigold said, leaning back against her soldier, feeling his arms wrap around her waist. At this moment, it was like they were in perfect harmony together. There was no wondering, no struggle, no conflict, and it was breathtaking to feel, an experience and something she would treasure forever.
Remember Dreams Page 8
