by Shey Stahl
Nova, annoyed with me, sighs. Wow, she really is like Red. “I said, do you think my daddy is handsome?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. Especially considering what I found out about her mother today… and the fact that she’s his kid.
Raven stops and stares at me, a mascara wand in hand. “Yea, Lenny, do you think her daddy is handsome?”
Bastards. They’re ganging up on me now.
“I’ve never really thought about it,” I say, glancing down to those huge blues of her blinking up at me with total innocence.
Bullshit. You think about him every hour.
Nova puts her hands on her hips dropping the second pair of red heels she’s been trying to coax me into. “That’s okay. You can think about it. I can wait.”
And by wait, she means standing in front of me staring at me until I answer the question. Persistent little thing. You have to understand how adorable Nova is. Picture this short little version of Merida but with wild brown curls and big blue eyes and cheeks to match. I want to pinch her cheeks so badly and kiss them.
So I do. I lean forward and cup her puffy little cheek between my palms. She smiles, and I ask, “Why do you care if I think your daddy is handsome?”
Sighing dramatically when I let her cheeks go, she reaches for Raven’s makeup bag and takes out the red lipstick. Raven immediately grabs it from her and hands her the pink instead.
“Well,”—Nova begins taking the cap off the lipstick and looking at herself in the full-length mirror behind the door—“Elle thinks my daddy is handsome. And Jesse, she does too. They are always asking my dad to go out or come over for a playdate. So I thought if you thought he was handsome, maybe you could tell him and you can come over for a playdate.”
A playdate for her… or her daddy? With all the thoughts running through my head, I’m really hoping this playdate might include me being bent over the hood of his car.
My cheeks flush, and Raven lets out a burst of laughter. “You mean playdate with you, right, Nova?” She’s curling my hair. Platinum-blonde curls with black ends fall over my shoulders naturally.
Nova makes a popping sound with her lips. “No, Daddy.”
“There….” Raven interrupts with a smile, her hands on my shoulders. “Look.” She then makes a twirling motion with her finger for me to turn around.
Holy shit. I look like a girl again.
“If you don’t think my daddy is handsome, he’s gonna think you’re pretty,” Nova says, standing beside me with a beaming smile.
There’s no way I can lie to this kid and whisper, “I think your daddy is handsome.”
Nova’s smile gets wider if that’s possible. “I knew it!” And then she takes off running. More than likely to fucking tell him.
Raven hands me a pair of holey jeans, high-heel sandals with beads and gems on them, a white tank top and a handful of bracelets. “Here, get dressed. I’m gonna go change.”
I take a look at my hair, makeup, pink cheeks from the sun, and clothes once I’m dressed. “Wow….” Taking the corner of the tank top, I tie it in a knot to make it a little more form fitting. I seem to be a size smaller than Raven, but the jeans actually fit me pretty well. Leaning forward, I roll them up around the ankles to give them that new-age look. “I look… hot.”
“Yes, you do.” Raven knocks on the door. “Now unlock this so I can see.”
I hadn’t even realized I locked her out.
“Come on.” She waves me forward. “We’re running late hot stuff.”
Raven looks hot herself in a pair of similar jeans and a black top that was ripped up the side revealing her tanned skin in ways I was sure Tyler was gonna enjoy.
As we step outside, Red’s kissing Nova good-bye and getting in his car.
What gets me thinking there’s more to the night is the way he looks at me. I’m standing near my Bronco, keys in hand while his eyes drag over the length of my body, then to my face. They linger momentarily before he sighs and slides into the seat.
Raven wraps her arm around my shoulder, kissing my cheek. “I think he likes you.”
My face heats, and I want to tell her no, she’s just imagining it. But then I think, even for the smallest moment, he might. He’s just trying to act like he doesn’t. Like the boy in school who constantly chases you just to pull your hair. He’s not doing it because he wants to hurt you. He’s doing it because he can’t possibly leave you alone.
Closing my eyes, I reach for my door handle, my hands shaking at the reality that his demeanor might just be an act.
I watch Red backing out of the driveway. “Where is he going?”
Raven grins tucking her lip gloss she’d just applied in her bag. “I don’t know, Lenny. Do you want to know because you think he’s sooooo handsome?”
Now she sounds like her niece.
Shaking my head, I shove her shoulder. “Shut up. What was I supposed to say? The kid put me on the spot.”
“You know… inquiring minds want to know what you really think of my brother?”
I don’t answer her. Mostly because my cheeks are red and I can’t. So I switch the focus from me to her when she’s staring down at her phone. “Is Tyler going to be there?”
This time, her cheeks flush. “Oh, uh… I’m not sure. He might be.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You guys don’t talk out of the bedroom?”
She shrugs, tucking her phone in her bag too. “Not really. Occasionally, but if I don’t want anyone knowing, I can’t be seen with him anywhere.”
“So no one knows?”
“Nobody but you. He sure as shit hasn’t said anything.” And then she looks a little sad about that last part. “I doubt he ever will. It’s pretty clear it’s just fucking.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
A few things pass over Raven’s face, and I can tell she’s confused. I also have to remind myself she’s nineteen, and I remember that age. You’re still trying to figure out what you’re supposed to do once you’re not in school anymore let alone making sense of a relationship that’s new.
At nineteen, I was living out of my car, dating a tattoo artist and working at a garage just to make ends meet. I had no sense of belonging, let alone direction in my life at the time.
Raven’s smarter than me. She has a good family to back her up, and Tyler would never hurt her. Even if it doesn’t work out between them, I doubt he’d ever be mean about it.
The bar is just as crowded as the river was today, country music blaring from a jukebox tucked away near the stage. Raven grabs my hand and leads me to a high top in the corner surrounded by five guys. I recognize Rawley and his cousins, but not the other two guys.
“Holy shit, Lenny… you clean up nice.” Rawley remarks, winking at me as he brings a beer to his lips.
Raven punches him in the gut and tells him to be nice.
He frowns at his twin sister. “I am being nice. Fuck.” He snorts. “I literally fucking said the word nice when talking to her.”
Raven waves him off. “You’re a pig.”
“Whatever.” Rawley rolls his eyes and then points to the guys I don’t recognize. “This is Linc. He’s my drummer, and this is Beck. He’s our bass guitarist.”
I smile politely, shaking their hands. Both of them, I mean both of them, openly check me out from head to toe and settle on my chest. “Nice to meet you, Lenny,” Beck says, moving closer and waggling his eyebrows.
“Stop it,” Rawley tells them, pushing them forward. “It’s time to go.”
The guys excuse themselves for their set that’s starting up, all taking one last look at me.
I stare at Raven, chuckling nervously. “It’s like they’ve never seen a girl.”
She gives me a once over. “They’ve never seen a girl like you before.”
I wave her off. “Oh, please….”
Raven nods to the bartender and he brings over a pitcher of beer, and then hugs Raven to his side. “Hey there, stranger,” he says, kis
sing her temple. “Long time since you’ve been in here.”
Raven looks at him like he’s crazy. “I was literally here last Wednesday.”
“Oh, right.” He laughs, shaking off his confusion before drifting his eyes to mine. “Who’s your friend?”
“This is Lenny. She’s the new mechanic at our shop. Lenny, this is Zack. He’s the owner of the bar.”
I shake his hand, and for the most part, his eyes don’t linger, and I see the ring on his finger.
Jude and Eldon approach the table and immediately pour themselves beer from a handle of glasses in the center of the table.
Just as I’m taking a drink of my own beer, Eldon bumps my shoulder. He reminds me more of Rawley, a little more clean-cut than Red with a white baseball cap hiding his dark brown wavy hair. They all have those same brown eyes, though. Red has his own look, like his own brand of ruggedness that can’t be duplicated by anyone. And shouldn’t be for that matter.
“How do you like working for Red?”
I’ve been asked this question so many times it’s like I’m forming a standard answer by now. “It’s okay. Challenging at times.”
Jude laughs beside Eldon, giving me a nod. “It’s probably challenging because Red’s an asshole and the shop is full of horny bastards.”
I laugh. There’s really no denying that statement. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Ah, hang in there.” Jude winks. “It’ll get better. Red comes off as a dick, but once you get to know him, you’ll see he’s a good guy.”
The band starts up, and I’m floored at Rawley’s ability. Literally fucking floored when he starts out singing a cover of Nickelback’s “Burn it to the Ground.”
Raven rips my beer from my hand and forces me to dance around with her by the stage. In a passing glance, I notice Jude watching me from his place at the table, his eyes on my body, mostly. I kinda don’t even care at that moment because the bass and the way the music pulses in my chest and the beer give me a confidence I rarely have while dancing.
I’m awestruck staring up at Rawley as he rocks the mic, dancing around like a lively version of the smartass kid who has a chip on his shoulder at the shop. It’s fucking amazing. Without a doubt, Rawley has talent, and I’ll admit, I’m crushing on the kid a little too.
“Holy shit, he’s amazing,” I scream into Raven’s ear when the music lowers and Rawley’s gravelly voice belts through the bar.
She jumps around, her hands over her head, her long brown hair flying everywhere. “I know!”
Jude makes his way over to me when Rawley switches immediately into “Little Miss Dangerous.”
I mean, Jesus… I had no idea Rawley was capable of this. No wonder the dude gave up his scholarship. He definitely has what it takes to make the rock-star career work.
I let Jude dance behind me, about the time some guy comes up to Raven. I’m careful because the last thing I want is to lead him on.
Halfway through the song, I see him. Him as in, the only him, really. It’s like the air is sucked from my lungs the moment I spot him. My body reacts, a shiver, a fast beating heart, all indications this guy is someone I can’t ignore.
Red.
His name is becoming burned into my brain; something I can’t get out of my head no matter how hard I try. My mind buzzes and I breathe out slowly, trying to catch my breath. My nerves spark the instant his tall, lean frame comes into view.
Damn it, why does he have to be here?
Jude moves closer, his hips in line with my ass, his hands gripping my hips tightly as my back presses to his chest.
Red scans the bar when he enters with Tyler, his eyes dancing around to Rawley, and then the dance floor. When they land on me, I’m not sure what to make of it. Mostly because he’s, well, not looking happy when he sees who’s standing behind me. He scowls at his cousin and immediately stares at Jude’s hands on my hips. The intensity in which he watches me dance with his cousin is a look I can’t shake easily.
He turns, without another look and takes a seat at the bar with Tyler.
“Everything okay?” Jude asks when he notices my movements have stopped.
“Yeah,” I mumble, twisting around to face him.
We dance for another song, a slower one this time when Jude’s breath hits my ear. “Thanks for the dance.”
I nod, turning to walk back to the table when I spot Red near the pool tables.
He’s leaning back in his chair, slouched slightly to one side. His head is down, lashes shadowing his cheeks as he shifts casually and drapes his arm over the back of the chair next to him. One leg is kicked out in front of him, the other bent, a resting point for the drink in his hand as he studies my every move.
I want to tell Jude I can’t dance with him anymore, ever, but I don’t because I wonder what Red’s thinking now. Am I trying to make him jealous?
When I get back to the table, the pitcher is already empty. “I’ll go refill this.”
With hesitating steps and my head down, I approach the bar. Though I don’t want to look up, my eyes fucking betray me like the bastards they are and seek him out. There’s a tall redhead at his table, sitting next to him now. They’re relaxed, and hell if he isn’t beautiful when he smiles. It’s the first smile I’ve seen, first genuine one at least.
He needs to smile more. That’s for sure. Mostly because I’m ready to give him a lap dance at a smile not even directed at me. Imagine if he smiled for me!
My breathing spikes, a twinge of jealousy burning a hole in my stomach when the redhead reaches out and touches his hand, smiling tenderly at him. Raven didn’t mention him dating anyone, but that really looks intimate.
“Need another, Lenny?” Zack asks, drawing me from my stare.
“Yes!” I whip around to face him. “Please.”
Fuck, could I be more obvious?
Taking the pitcher of beer filled to the brim, I head back to the table but not before taking one last look at Red. He chooses then to look my way, his brow arching as if to ask, what the hell are you staring at?
Believe me, dude, I’m wondering that same thing.
Raven notices my flushed appearance immediately when I set the beer on the table. “You okay?”
“Yep.” Dismissively, I wave my head around. “Sun and beer are getting to me.”
Bullshit. Red’s getting to you. He gets under my skin and ignites desires and thoughts I was sure were hidden forever behind a girl who didn’t know how to love or fall for someone. Not that I was either of those with him.
He gets to me so much that I can’t even decipher thoughts and feelings.
For an hour, I pretend I’m drinking and not watching Red with the girl. I don’t do a good job at it, but thankfully everyone around me is drunk and pays me no mind.
Rawley returns after his set is done, a group of girls following him. It’s suddenly crowded around the table, and I want to find a way to excuse myself. Big crowds like this make me nervous.
“You having a good time?” Raven asks. She’s pink-cheeked and talking so loudly it hurts my ears.
“Yes!” I yell back, wrapping my arm around her shoulder. “Thanks for inviting me.”
My eyes, the betraying bastards they are tonight, scan the bar again when I’ve turned Raven’s direction. He’s gone.
Suddenly, I panic and start searching the rest of the bar for him only to see he’s sitting in a booth off in the corner, the same redhead beside him. She’s laughing at something he said and for the first time, his laughter rings through the room. It’s distinct and captures my attention despite the crowd and noise.
I hate that I’ve been working right beside him and couldn’t make that sound come out. What was it about me that he didn’t like and she had?
“Who are you looking at?” Raven asks, bumping her hip into mine and leaning across the table to see where I’m looking.
Crap.
“I see where your brother went.” I point with my thumb in their direction. “Hot d
ate apparently.”
Raven stares at them and then bursts out laughing, covering her mouth with her hand. “He’s certainly not on a date with her. They’re friends. That’s Crystal. She married Red’s friend from high school. Her husband Lane is in the military and deployed right now. Red checks in on her and her two boys from time to time. Red watches their boys sometimes for her too. I think she watches Nova on occasions.” And then she levels me a serious look, waits a beat and then smiles. “Nothing to worry about.”
I’m so transparent. My cheeks sting with heat.
“I’m not worried. I’m not into him like that,” I tell her, avoiding eye contact like any guilty person would. Lying has never been my strong suit.
“Well, he hasn’t dated anyone since Nevaeh, and from what Tyler says, hasn’t gotten laid either.”
My eyes widen. “He hasn’t had sex since his wife died?”
“Nope. I’m pretty sure that’s why he’s such an ass all the time.”
She’s probably right.
“Hey, listen,” I say to Raven, pulling her close. “I’m tired. Can we head out soon?”
She nods, drinks the rest of her beer and then points to the door. “I’m ready.”
We say our good-byes. Jude hugs me a little longer than needed and we’re heading for the door. I do well. I don’t glance at Red even once. I keep my head down and walk straight to my Bronco on the street before I actually even look up. It’s not without effort, though. It’s like trying to keep your eyes open when you really want to blink. Nearly impossible.
“You’ll have to give me directions,” I tell Raven, not remembering where she lives. “I’m horrible with remembering streets.”
“Just take me back to Tyler’s place. I’m gonna lay in his bed naked until he comes home.”
I laugh just to tease her a little, and then ask, “What if he brings a girl home?”
“The fucker better not. All this beer made me horny and I’m gonna take Ty for a ride tonight.”
“Ewww, Raven. There are certain things you should keep to yourself.”
“Hey, I’m just letting you know. It could get loud tonight.”
My mouth drops open. “There’s something wrong with you. You literally have no filter.”
