Hartley lets me out of her arms and gently pushes me towards the waiting group before she moves deeper into the room. They are all in the middle of polite conversation, although I notice them watching covertly, as I make my way toward them, my eyes still averted. The soft dulcet tones of a string quartet follows me forward, the melody suitably dramatic. My eyes finally leave the floor and delaying the inevitable for a bit longer, I take the opportunity to look over their stylish apartment. I have seen photos of it previously, when they first got it, but I haven't seen it finished and I haven't seen it with all our old friends inside.
I'm good. One more mantra for luck before I flick my hair back and finally look at them, with a graceful smile plastered on my face.
Of course Dom turns first. Even after all this time, he is striking. And he steals my breath for so many reasons.
"Hey you. Thank you for coming. It means the world to Hartley and I," he stops at a respectable distance, slowing, so he can see me, so we can gauge each other again.
I close the distance between us and offer him a polite handshake.
"I just told Hartley, I wouldn't miss it for the world. How could I? My god, you two are getting engaged? Honestly, it's wonderful news," I say softly to him, holding his gray eyes so he can understand the sincerity of my words.
I'm good. I repeat as he squeezes my hand tight, offering me a very platonic euro kiss to the side of my cheek that physically locks me down for a few moments.
Hartley struts back to us then, dragging Lizzie and Drew behind her.
"Well, well, well, Verginius Bellafonte aren't you looking fabulous," Lizzie blows over the distance separating us, before she does an excited shimmy, jumping up and down, pulling me in for a hug. A sincere hug.
Drew stands back, a pretty smirk on his face too. His eyes though, say it all.
"Lizzie, I saw you only a few weeks ago. Don't be a dick!" I say laughing, thankful, to at least, have one friend here.
Drew extends a hand to me, offering me a handshake. I quirk my eyebrow at him before I politely offer one back. He releases it quickly, before turning and walking back towards his group of friends.
"Come on, let me grab you a drink," Lizzie replies, ignoring Drew's greeting, before she all but drags me across the foyer, into the area set up as a bar.
Hartley and Dom's apartment is beautiful, in its strange mix of minimalism and Cape Cod, even Architectural Digest believes it works, as detailed in its recent glossy spread. The view though is what I think is its best feature. The large vista across the bay is very drool worthy. This apartment suits them. And as hard as I try to ignore the mingling crowd and focus on the party, it is the beautiful view that commands my attention. Admittedly, I prefer to focus on the view and the house instead of the people within it, but that is an impossibility today. I'm good.
"What will you have darling?" Lizzie croons at me whilst leaning over the bar top to grab the barman's attention. The bar they have set up, in the space, is stocked with all the top shelf spirits, a startling selection of the best champagne available with matching red and white wine varieties sitting on display. The event coordinator did an exceptional job in setting the area up. It mimics any downtown bar perfectly.
"Gin and Tonic, no lemon," I respond quickly. I keep my focus on Lizzie and the bar, letting the activities and festivities of the room continue on without me. Giving myself a little extra time. I did the worst part of today already. Now I get to fade into the background a little.
Always knowing today will be difficult, I have worked through pretty much every situation I can expect in my head over the past month, as I readied myself for this. My therapist and I even role played a few possibilities. I practiced. I meditated. And now I am pretty sure I am about to freak the fuck out.
I'm good.
St. Joseph's had scarred me in so many ways. My teeth grit, as I clench my jaw in frustration, and my heart rate picks up slightly. Good timing on Lizzies part as she turns with our drinks in her hand and offers me my G & T with a smile.
"Let's go mingle. I am not letting you stand in the corner again. You face these assholes Gin. You did nothing wrong. Don't interpret it differently. We were nasty fucking kids back then. Move it Gin!" she hip bumps me and nods her head in the direction she wants me to take. I couldn’t agree more with her statement, except to add perhaps that they are fucking nasty adults now.
I slow my pace a little, so that she can lead us. Otherwise, she is right, I will take us straight to the nearest corner, as close to the exit as possible and watch the clock tick slowly.
She pulls us back towards our old group of friends. Pasting another big smile on my face we walk up to them and join into their clique.
I am thankful for the drink I hold in my hand, although it is already needing a refill. My nerves make me sip it, quicker than usual. Although, I'm always partial to a G & T. The bitterness calls to me.
As I sip at my drink, I watch the St. Joseph's gang all together in one place. I know for a fact they all catch up regularly, well more often than I do. There is a lot of warmth and friendship in this circle, a lot of veiled hostility also. It only feeds my social anxiety.
If I were to hazard a guess and remember correctly, Drew is currently single, Lizzie and her banker boyfriend, Charles are smiling sweetly at each other, his hand sits on her lower back. Karen and Tomas, of all people, are holding hands. And Hartley and Dom are beaming and enthusiastic of their retelling of some sweet story of their relationship.
I join in a couple of times, laugh mindlessly at the appropriate places, constantly checking how much time has passed, before excusing myself to grab another drink.
I lean onto the bar countertop, rubbing my temples as I wait for my drink. The noise and the early evening activities are picking up as people settle in for a night celebrating. While I wait, I turn my head and get distracted by the view of the bay again. The sun is setting over the water, and long golden tangerine rays streak into their apartment, bathing it in a stunning light.
With a fresh drink in my hand and a quick glance over my shoulder to see that they are all focused on their little group, I sneak out to the rooftop terrace, the sunset beckons me. The French doors to the outdoor area are open and there are little groups of other guests drawn to the view also. I find my spot quickly away from the other mingling guests, locating the perfect position in front of a thick sandstone column / balustrade, that I can rest my drink on and lean onto, my elbows leaning on it near my drink. I am so captivated by the breathtaking display in front of me and the soft breeze brings with it a hint of the ocean below us, it enables me to stop the silly games I watch between the St Joseph’s crew from dragging me back in. Not that I ever will. But being here, knowing what I know now is more than fucking strange.
I am good. I repeat in my head again as I close my eyes as the sun finally drops down over the horizon. I offer my thanks to a silent deity for another day, savouring the intimacy of the moment.
"Mind if I join you?" a deep voice sounds behind me.
I lock down in surprise, but the tremble in my hands is impossible to hide, at his voice. My eyes squeeze shut as I try to hold onto my peace. Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck! He is one of the situations I did not prepare for. How could I?
I draw a loud breath in, without a doubt he can hear me, but he waits quietly until I am ready. As I try to find some semblance of rationale, I hear the tinkling of the ice in his drink, everything else around us seems to have stilled and quieted. I focus on that small noise.
I hold my drink in my hand, fearful that I will break the pretty crystal with the shock coursing through my veins. But stranger things have happened and my chaos and the noise racing through my ears, slows. The noise of the party gently becomes clearer again, the laughter of guests enjoying the party helps me focus some more. Feeling less off kilter, I turn around and face Hunter.
"Hello Verginius," he offers from his position behind me, before taking a sip of his drink which looks very much
like a whiskey on the rocks.
"Hunter," I reply. His damn voice flows like silk over my senses. I look at his face quickly, not even registering before my eager eyes demand more of him. I force myself to savour the moment and slow down my fill of him, but my traitorous body has other ideas. I must look weird but I just can’t stop my ogling, my eyes drop first to his expensive shoes, and run up his tailored navy suit pants. I try to make my journey go slow, but Hunter’s eyes have always called to me and I can feel my rediscovery of him start to speed up. It does all kinds of things to me, when I figure that I am just drinking him in. I can hear his sharp intake as he notices my boldness as well.
Not being distracted by his response and feeling a little more daring, my inspection lingers over his hands, before they dart over to his left hand to check for a wedding ring. Thankfully, it is missing a ring. I actually have no idea what Hunter has been doing, who he has been doing. It is one part of St Joseph's that I swore never to discuss. Oh, and how Hartley and Dom fucking cheated behind my back, but that is for another day.
Eventually, my eyes make my way up to his face. Hunter waits patiently for me to finish my inspection of him, he lets me take my fill. His full lips are tilted in the smallest smile that is only evident because of how close we are to each other, to anyone else they won't notice it. His eyes are fucking dazzling as always. So guarded, closed off, but still captivating as ever.
"Are you well?" I offer breathlessly as I finish my journey of rediscovery before I take a rather large gulp of my drink. I cough a little into my hand and his eyebrow raises up silently in question, and mirth.
"As well as can be expected. You?" he responds low. That damn voice, like a siren call. I feel the intensity of his own inspection, but his eyes stay glued to mine instead of roaming shamelessly over my body. He focuses intently on me though. "Wouldn't have expected to see you here," he continues. His eyes still are not breaking their hold with mine.
"Why?" I question softly, curiously.
"Hmm, no way you would catch me at the engagement party of my ex, to my best friend," he smirks.
"We must be different then. Although, ex best friend it is a better description," I say as I break our stare and turn back to the view. The last lingering light is still pretty enough to stare at, more so, I need a break from his insatiable pull.
“What have you been doing Hunter? Why are you here?” I ask my back to him, as I take another sip, a smile breaking over my face at the fun fate must be having at my expense. He just draws me like a moth to a flame though.
I feel Hunter step closer to my back, and I lean forward onto my elbows to put more distance between us. Seems like he is tired of our games, as he steps closer again, before leaning one arm on the pylon that I am resting on, placing his drink down next to mine.
He stands there, caging me almost, but doesn't speak. I fucking respond though. A warmth settles over me, so toe curling perfect, that I push up into it. And of course Hunter breaks the magic with a breathy laugh that caresses the back of my neck.
“Gigi, I’m here probably for the same reason you are. As to what I have been doing, well right now is probably not the time to talk about the mundane. Not, when you are standing just where I have always wanted you to be. Let me enjoy this moment,” he offers, his voice sounding dry and coarse. Maybe he is as affected by this as I am.
I always wondered. Even now, how many years later, I reread his letter that he left for me that night he ran, constantly. His words of adoration, apologies, his explanation still makes my heart beat faster.
So the enigma that is Hunter did just that, he let the need to speak disappear. The peaceful night suddenly making me feel like a giggly, hormonal teen, his lack of words seeming to only increase the intensity of what I am feeling, leaving me wondering if he is feeling it too. My body is alive in its anticipation and expectation. My heart is nearly jumping out of my chest, my pulse trying to catch up. And somehow an explosion of butterflies in my tummy, coursed through my system, leaving me with a burning desire for more. I had to reign myself back in. My reaction to Hunter is embarrassingly carnal and gluttonous.
And then he moves closer somehow, his drink long forgotten, his fingers slowly trail over my hand, stealing the air from my lungs, my head shoots up to focus on the view to distract me. But he doesn’t want that and he stops and stills his fingers progressing until I return my gaze to what he is doing. Once my eyes are on us again, I watch his hand move tentatively, carefully before it touches down my hip. His erratic breathing, adding to the moment. His fingers feather light but scorching hot. Maybe, I’m not alone in my salacious thoughts.
"Gigi....suppose this is when you start running again?" he whispers intimately, as his hand settles on my hip, pulling me back slowly, closer to his body. His words tickling across my exposed nape. The heat of his body wrapping around me.
I let a breathy laugh fall from my lips but don't answer immediately. I don't utter a word until I feel him leaning in closer again. See I knew then, just like I know now, that, we, have a connection. Not me, not him, us. And it feels fucking amazing that it is still there between us.
"Hunter, I don't need to run from you. You'll do that all by yourself. You are the one that always leaves. Me, I stand around wondering what the fuck just happened," I lean out of his magnetic hold, reaching for my drink with a tremoring hand. He keeps his hold on my body possessively, in our hidden oasis.
"Touche," he breathes low and slow, before closing in again, detouring at the last moment to grab his drink.
I take the opportunity to exit his orbit, and side step out of his body, his hand on me falls away softly after holding onto me for as long as possible. I have to move, or I will be exposing all sorts of spicy secret desires of what he does to me, although I am pretty sure they are not that secretive anymore. Unfortunately, today is too much of everything and considering we are deep in a cesspool of snakes, I need to think clearly. Hunter though, is the only thing I remember. I turn and look back at Hunter, his focus is on the oceanview until he seems to align himself and then his focus is on me again. His eyes must mirror mine, they are dark and dilated, full of an intensity that makes me audibly gulp.
“You mess me up Gigi,” he offers honestly, unperturbed by our intensity. His eyes still searing, his voice still commanding.
“Touche,” is all I can offer him. Somehow, I pull myself away from his stare, that strips me bare. It takes a couple of minutes to pull myself out of his galaxy, but I do take a step away, leaving him to his drink and the impressive view.
I am walking back towards the bar again on shaky legs as the adrenaline zings through my body, when Caleb catches my eye from a tall bar stool situated near the dance floor, he nods his head at me but I point to the bar. He holds up a beer, silently asking me to get him one.
Thankfully, they have started delivering hors d'oeuvres and I catch Caleb's attention as the waiter gets nearer to him. I watch after grabbing our drinks, walking towards him as he smiles then speaks with the waiter while collecting a few nibbles for us to share. Caleb reshuffles the seating so that we are sitting next to each other. Nearly on each other’s lap.
"This fucking night," I say quietly, as I pass over his drink to him. He places it on the table and wraps his arm around me, kissing me lightly on the head.
"You are doing great. Told you Drew is still pissed," he speaks while grabbing a couple of nibbles off of his plate. The sushi looks tempting, so delicate, perfect. "Personally, I'm surprised you were gracious enough to show up. These assholes don't deserve you after what they did," he spat out venomously.
"Caleb, sssh. Seriously, I am so over it. They happened, what, six years ago now?" I turn to look at him.
"Fucking hate cheating. I mean you want to do it, go right ahead. Just don’t drag everyone else into it," he says before putting his arm around my shoulder again, pulling me in for another hug. "Chicken shits they were. He broke your fucking heart Ginny, even now he toys with you. You know what I am
talking about," he growls.
"Did you know Hunter is here?" I hiss at him getting quickly to the issue, politely through a smile, of course. I eye off the little canapes before selecting one off of our share plate.
"I can't believe you didn't even contemplate him being here. I wasn't going to bring it up. You were already walking into the viper's nest. We had enough shit to deal with. Besides, who really would have guessed he would be here. He loathes this crowd and these prats almost as much as we do," he leans into my ear, so no one will hear our gossiping.
“We shared a drink on the balcony,” I say quietly.
“Thought you looked flushed,” is all he replies before laughing evilly into his beer glass.
We sit there together, his arm slung over my shoulders, as we enjoy each other's company, and their expensive selection of alcohol.
"God, I hope she doesn't ask me to be her bridesmaid," I smirk into my glass, a little while later. The strung up fairy lights provide a pretty backdrop now, they sparkle and glitter around the whole room.
"Oh Ginny, she fucking will. You watch," he laughs and we tink our glasses together in cheers again.
Caleb and I spend the rest of the evening on our perch, watching the engagement party around us. The noise picks up, and the string quartet get lost in the sea of drunken giggles and rowdy discussions.
"We should go soon, before the speeches. In case she does decide to ask me. I am starving anyway. We could drop in for a quick bite of Italian before we go home," I say as we watch the evening progress.
"Hmm, sounds good," he responds a little distracted. I look to see what has caught his attention and unsurprisingly, it is his brother.
"Go talk to him, don't let me stop you guys," I lean in so that I can whisper into his ear. My hand running over his shoulder encouragingly.
You Promised Me Page 11
