Gwen blinked her eyes open and was met instantly with a pair of green eyes. She had been moved so she was laying on her side and Cole was sitting right by her head. Just seeing his face made her tears start up again. “Cole.”
“Sh. Baby. It’s okay. You need to stay calm or they’ll come back in and sedate you again.” Cole brushed his fingers over her cheek as he spoke. “You were gone a while that time. Scared us all a bit.”
“How long?” Gwen asked.
“You had been waking every few hours but this time you were out for 3 days.” Cole brushed her hair off her forehead. “The nurse wasn’t sure exactly what had set you off, just that you were upset and she didn’t want you to hurt yourself. Even when the sedation had worn off, you didn't wake up.”
“The babies… are gone.” Gwen couldn’t help but let a small sob out as she spoke the horrible words. She could see understanding flood Cole’s face.
“Yes, they are. The doctors tried to save them but it just wasn’t possible.” Cole rubbed at his eyes, trying to keep his own tears at bay. “It’ll be okay. We will be okay. We can try for another pregnancy when you are better. The most important part is that you are here. That you are okay.”
Gwen only nodded. She couldn’t find any words to say. Tears just rolled down her cheeks even though she tried to hold them back. Cole rubbed her head and held her hand while long moments passed and Gwen cried and cried. Eventually, Gwen fell asleep again.
“Gwen, baby, can you wake up for me?” Cole’s voice entered Gwen’s mind and she fought to push open her eyelids. It was hard, but she managed. “There you are. Baby, there is someone here who wants to see you.”
“Who?” Gwen croaked. “Water, please.” Cole instantly grabbed a cup and put the straw to her lips so she could take a tiny sip.
“McKayla would like to see you.” Cole set the cup down on the table. “I’ll be right here the whole time, okay?”
“Okay.” Gwen lightly squeezed his hand. McKayla moved up next to Cole.
“Hi.” McKayla spoke softly.
“Hi.” Gwen repeated back to her.
“Do you remember me? Cole said that you didn’t remember either of us but you have seemed to be picking up a few memories. So I was hoping...” McKayla reached for the hand that Cole wasn’t holding. Gwen pulled it back.
“I don’t remember you at all. I mean you look familiar but I don’t know why. The only thing I remember about you is that we were fighting.” Gwen felt bad as hurt passed over McKayla’s face when Gwen had pulled her hand back. But she didn’t know who this person was besides that she looked familiar. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure the memories will come back. I can wait. I am willing to wait for you.” McKayla smiled a bit then turned and left the room. Gwen hadn’t missed the tears in her eyes though.
Chapter 26
Days passed quickly for Gwen. She still slept quite a bit but she was gaining feeling back in her legs and having therapist come in to help keep her strength up. Today was the day she was going to try to stand and walk.
While her physical body was making nice progress, she still was missing quite a few of her memories. But if she could get mobile again she was hoping she could get out more and it would jog her memory. The doctors agreed that different images, scenery and scents might help.
She had also avoided talking about what had happened that put her in this situation. She just wasn’t ready to go through those memories yet.
“Okay. Ready?” The young physical therapist had wrapped a belt around her waist and was standing right in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I suppose so.” Gwen looked over his shoulder to see both Cole and McKayla watching her. Those were the memories she wanted back the most. To remember McKayla. The woman spent many hours at her bedside talking about things they had done together or playing card games with her just to pass the time. Gwen had come to know think of her as a friend, but absolutely nothing had come to her about their past.
“Now, slowly put your weight on your feet and push off the bed with your arms. I am right here, ready to grab you should your feet fail.” The young man once again brought Gwen back to the present. She nodded and did as he instructed.
She pushed off the bed with her hands and locked her knees. Pleasantly surprised, her legs held under her. She actually felt relatively steady too.
“Good. That’s excellent.” The man was saying. Gwen focused soley on her legs and balance. He moved a walker in front of her and helped her place her hands on either side of it. “There you go. Now move the walker forward just a bit and then try to transfer your weight from one foot to the other as you take a step.”
“I can do this.” Gwen spoke to herself as she looked down at her legs and feet. She took a deep breath and her ribs zinged a bit but they were healing more each day. With a small grunt, she pushed the walker forward and managed to slowly move one foot forward a bit, then the other.
“Great job. Now lets try a couple more, if you are up to it.” The man was saying again.
“Yes.” Gwen made painstakingly slow progress to the door to the bathroom and back to the bed. It took a long time, but she had stayed mostly stable on her feet. Once back at the bed, she collapsed back into the bed, exhausted.
“That was great. I think you’ll be up on your own before no time.” With that the young man slipped from the room. Leaving Gwen with Cole and McKayla. A nurse would surely be checking on her in just a minute. That was generally how they did things around here. Never more than a few minutes rest without a nurse poking her. They were supposed to be moving her to a different room soon since she was no longer in critical condition.
“I want to go home.” Gwen blurted out as the thought entered her head. “Can’t I do this from home? I’m tired of being bothered all the time by the nurses. I don't know where home is but I'm ready to go anywhere but here.”
“We will have to check with the doctors but I’m sure we will be able to arrange something.” Cole didn’t hesitate with his answer. He wanted her home as much as she wanted to be there. "And home was my apartment before this all happened."
“I think I’m ready to talk about what happened with the authorities.” Gwen nodded to herself. She was ready to move on from it. Something about getting up on her feet again made her feel stronger, more centered. It was like she had shown herself that she would be okay after all. And maybe it would help get that monster off the street and unable to ever do something like this to anyone else again.
“I’ll make a call.” Cole pulled his phone from his pocket as he stepped from the room.
“Can you help me?” Gwen looked at McKayla, who was still standing near the door. McKayla quickly walked to the side of the bed.
“Anything.” McKayla smiled down at her.
Gwen looked down for a moment, thinking through her words. Sometimes it was still hard to form words, but most were coming easier. “I would like to brush my hair and teeth before other people see me. Can you help me? I know we were friends so I’m hoping this was something we’ve done before.”
“Absolutely.” McKayla blinked back tears. Such a simple task but Gwen still needed help with it. She dug in a drawer near the bedside and came up with a comb. “Let me get some water so we can calm it down a bit too.”
McKayla went to the bathroom and filled a small tub with water. Grabbing a washcloth from the counter in the room, she returned to Gwen’s side. She rested her hip on an empty spot on the bed and faced Gwen. “Let's tame that beautiful hair.” She used the washcloth to wet Gwen’s hair a bit before carefully running the comb through it.
Gwen closed her eyes and relaxed while her hair was combed. She jumped a bit as a memory flashed in front of her closed eyes.
“Come here.” Gwen sat on the counter and pushed out the little vanity stool that had been tucked under the counter with her foot. McKayla came and sat down between Gwen’s thighs on the backless chair, her back to Gwen. Gwen grabbed
a brush and started carefully running it through McKayla’s wet hair. Gwen’s feet rested on either side of McKayla’s hips as she combed out her hair for her. “I think you’d be very good at it.”
“Yeah?” McKayla didn’t sound so sure. She wrapped her arms around Gwen’s calves, hands resting on the top of Gwen’s feet. “I’m just not sure I’d even know what to do.”
“You know more than you think you do. I bet it’ll come natural. Your body is sexy as hell. You have beautiful hair like a lot of models. Plus, you have the cutest damn smile.” Gwen said dragging the brush through McKayla’s hair.
They had been talking about McKayla starting a modeling career. They had been a couple. Gwen remembered that much. She opened her eyes and looked into McKayla’s blue eyes.
“We were together.” Gwen spoke softly. She didn’t have the feelings of love that she expected to come with that admission. She only remembered they had been together and they had been good together but the feelings weren’t there.
“I’m sorry?” McKayla blinked in confusion.
“You and me. We were a couple, right? I just remembered us talking about you starting your modeling career. We had just taken a shower together and I was brushing your hair.” Gwen tried to remember more but nothing came. It was so frustrating to feel like all her life was right there. Just out of reach.
“Yes. That was about a year and a half ago.” McKayla nodded but a sad looked crossed her face. “Things have changed quite a bit since then.”
Chapter 27
The next day, the sketch artist came by with his laptop and Gwen was able to help him adjust the image on his screen to be a fairly accurate depiction of Richard.
“The doctor should be in today to talk about taking you home. I already spoke to him about having a nurse at home with you and physical therapy coming by to help your progression.” Cole told Gwen shortly after arriving. He had left for a few hours to see to the preparations needed to get her home.
“Great.” Gwen smiled at him. She was feeling down. She was still very upset about the loss of the pregnancy and the babies. Her mind was being pulled in a million directions at once so she tried not to focus on it. She tried to focus on getting back to a normal life, finding her way back to her lost memories. “I’d like to try to go for a walk.” She looked at Cole and smiled.
“Let me get the nurse.” He once again escaped behind the curtain and out into the hallway. Gwen hadn’t even seen what was out there. They always had her curtain pulled. She was hoping to change that soon. She wanted to push her body. Cole came back a moment later with the nurse.
“Where are you wanting to walk to?” The nurse asked her. “I can help you around your room, but if you are wanting to go much farther, we need to wait for physical therapy.”
“Anywhere. I just want out of this bed.” Gwen pushed herself to the edge of the bed. She pulled her IV pole closer. “And when can I get rid of this?” She pointed at the hanging bags on the IV pole.
“I will talk to the doctor about that when he gets here.” The nurse nodded and jotted a note on a small pad of paper before shoving it back in her pocket. She helped Gwen up and pulled the walker close.
Gwen didn’t want the walker but she didn’t know if she would be able to walk without it at this point. She was able to make a quicker progress to the bathroom this time, then walked to the window. While there she took a moment to look out and see they weren’t very high up in the building and the view wasn’t anything spectacular. She turned and made her way all the way around the bed back to where she had started. It felt great. She felt much stronger, much steadier.
“How’d that feel?” The nurse asked her. She had been right behind her the whole time, pulling along the IV pole and ready to help Gwen in case she needed support.
“Amazing. It was much easier this time.” Gwen smiled as she sat back in the bed. “Look, I’m not even exhausted.”
“That’s great.” The nurse pulled her little pad of paper out again and made more notes. “You are progressing wonderfully.”
“Is that normal?” Gwen frowned at the nurse.
“Yes. Some people take a long time to recover from being in a coma. Others don’t. It’s all about how your mind is recovering from the damage it received. I’m sure we will have to take you for another CAT Scan of your brain to make sure everything is looking good before you go home. But I think you are very likely to be able to make that step, of course the actual decision is up to the doctor though.” The nurse smiled and left the room.
A few hours later, the doctor stopped by. He said that as long as the scan came out good, she would be allowed to go home. But she had to have a nurse living in their home until Gwen’s check up in a week. At that point, they would reevaluate.
By that evening, Gwen was tucked into Cole’s bed. Coming in the house had brought back more memories of Cole and the beginning of their relationship. Those memories only helped her fall in love with him all over again. Not to mention, he had been by her bed just about every day while she’d been in the hospital and always jumped to make sure she had the best care or anything that she needed.
He was even now sitting next to her in the bed, typing on his laptop. Gwen was laying on her side, looking up at him. He stopped and looked down at her. “Yes?”
“Just looking.” Gwen smiled at him.
“Well, don’t let me interrupt.” Cole laughed and typed a few more words before closing his laptop. He placed it on the nightstand next to him before sliding down in the bed to lay face to face with her. “Is this better?”
“No. I can’t see my favorite part of you now.” Gwen grabbed the covers and flipped them back off his chest. She put her hand on the center of his chest. “Here. This is my favorite part of you.”
“My pecs? Yea, they are pretty nice.” Cole flexed them under her hand, making her laugh. “And here I always thought my eyes were your favorite.”
“Mmm. Yes, those would be my favorite physical thing about you. But it is your heart that is my favorite.” Gwen’s hand slid up to his neck, her thumb rubbing the stubble over his jaw. “I love you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all that you have done for me, even when I didn’t know who you were.”
“I love you too. And I must say as glad as I am that you remember me. I would have had just as much fun finding ways to make you fall back in love with me all over again if you didn’t. There wasn’t ever a moment that I doubted that I would have you in my life forever. No matter what I had to do.” Cole brushed his fingers along her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
Gwen inched forward in the bed and slipped her leg between his and wrapped her arm over his back. Her face was inches from his. Their breaths mingled as their eyes took in one another. “Forever.”
“Forever.” Cole repeated back and closed the gap, pressing his lips firmly to hers. Their first kiss since everything had happened. He pulled back after a moment but she moved forward, keeping her mouth on his. Her lips separated slightly. Her tongue flicked out to rub across his closed lips. Asking for more.
Gwen groaned when his soft lips separated and his tongue met hers. Her hand slid up his muscular back to sink into his hair. She pulled him to her. Cole’s hand was resting on her hip, lightly. He was letting her lead. Gwen could feel just how aroused he was as it was pressing hard into her thigh. She pulled away and moved to lay on her back. “Cole?”
“Yes?” Cole cleared his throat.
“Touch me. I want your hands on me the way I remember them.” Gwen grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Cole groaned and closed his eyes.
“Gwen. We can’t. Trust me I want to, god how I want to. But I don’t feel right. You just got home.” Cole bit his lip. He couldn’t even believe the words he was saying.
“Okay.” Gwen’s eyes teared up. She rolled away from him, giving him her back. “Just go to sleep then.”
“No, no baby.” Cole moved up behind her, pressing his whole body to her
back. He kissed the side of her head and sat up on his elbow. “No crying. I’m sorry. We can do whatever you want. Just no more crying.”
“God. I just want my life back. I want to be back where I was before all this happened. I want to make love to you. I want to remember McKayla. I want to be pregnant with our babies. I’m so tired of being this half person whose body forgot how to do mundane tasks. Whose brain forgot my whole life and I’m having to slowly remember who I was, who the people in my life are.” Gwen sobbed. She slapped her palm on the bed. “I want him caught. I want him to stop being able to take things from my life. I want to know why he chose me. Why is it my life he had to destroy over and over?”
Cole held her tight as she continued to sob and shake as everything came out of her. When she had quieted, he moved back and tugged lightly on Gwen’s shoulder so she rolled on her back. He looked down at her. Using the tips of his fingers, he brushed away the tears on her cheeks. “He will pay for his crimes. Trust me, I will not fail you twice. Now forget about him, push him from your mind. Remember the good things in life.”
“So easy to say.” Gwen sniffled and tried to smile, but failed. “I wish it was so easy.”
Cole rolled on his back and tugged Gwen’s hand so she rolled onto her side facing him. He smiled at her. “Just think about…” He pulled her hand up to his chest. “This.” He flattened her hand over his heart. “And if it helps, you can think about these…” He laid his hand over hers and slowly pushed her hand down his chest and over his washboard abs. “If these don’t help, I suppose you could think about this.” Cole pushed up and kissed her softly. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek. Pulling back just barely, his green eyes meeting her brown ones. “Well, if none of that helps. You’ll have to try really hard, but I know you can do it. Think about this.” He pressed his lips to hers, opening them and sliding his tongue into her waiting mouth. His hand returned to her hand still on his abs and slowly slid her hand down over his shorts to stop on his throbbing erection.
Yearning Absolution (Yearning Series) Page 14
