by Mia Ford
“Someday, dad, you won’t have to worry about a thing. You and mom will come live with me and you won’t have to worry. Well, maybe not with me but next door or down the block.” I joked.
“When you’re a parent you never stop worrying.” He said, leaning down to give me a kiss on the forehead. “And if this Prine character can’t get his billion dollar ass in line he’s no good for you.”
“Thanks, dad. I think you’re right.”
I was glad the lights were out so he couldn’t see me crying. He stood up from the bed and headed out the door.
“Good night, Tilly.”
“Merry Christmas, Dad.”
Chapter 21 – Lucas
“Brilliant.” I muttered in the darkness. The only light I had on was small lap at my desk on the other side of my bedroom room. The alcohol and the seedy events of tonight had settled into a sour pool in the pit of my stomach and were churning over and over. I new I’d feel better if I threw up but I hadn’t thrown up from too much alcohol since my freshman year in high school. I wasn’t going to take a step backward.
Telling Tilly what for was supposed to make me feel better. I was supposed to see her real colors. She was supposed to try and stop me from talking to tell me how much she cared about me. I called so many girls way worse things than a slut and they came trotting back for more like trick ponies. They weren’t supposed to wish me well and just hang up. That’s what…
That’s what real women did, Lucas. You blew it with this girl and you know it. Now pull yourself together and deal with it.
I stretched out on my bed but couldn't get comfortable. The room wanted to shift when I closed my eyes and I should have never eaten that whipped cream and cherry thing that Jenna had tucked back in the fridge. I could tell the way she had it back there she was trying to hide it for herself. I took a big scoop out of it and shoveled it in my mouth. Now it was swimming around in the muck already in my stomach waiting to come back up again.
I tried to stick it to Jenna and ended up making myself literally sick.
"Lucas. What is happening?" I looked at the clock. It blinked 2:53 a.m. at me. “Why did you call her now? Why didn’t you wait until the morning? Or even a week from now?
A wave of nausea rolled over me and I felt myself turn sweaty and cold all at once.
"I've had more to drink than I did tonight and been able to stroll in at six in the morning without any problems," I grumbled, rubbing my stomach. "Maybe I'm coming down with the flu."
Maybe your body is sick of your mouth too and would like to get away?
Just then I heard it.
“No. Please God. Anything but that.”
I held my breath as my stomach continued to fold over and over itself as if building up momentum.
But there was no denying that what I was hearing was Jenna and my father.
She was doing this on purpose. I know she was. Part of me wanted to go kick the fucking door down and drag her out by her hair. How could my father be so blind?
But another part of me, the part that was continually reminding me I shouldn’t have eaten that cherry thing and that I better just make my way to the bathroom because the inevitable was going to happen sooner or later. That part of me was saying let it go. Dad had made his choice.
Without warning everything I had consumed tonight lurched up my throat. I sat bolt upright on the bed, swung my legs over the side and clamped my hand over my mouth. In four long strides, I was in my bathroom, on my knees in front of the toilet letting everything out.
My body constricted painfully as everything was thrown into reverse. My throat burned and for a few paralyzing seconds, I couldn't breathe. I felt the sweat flooding my armpits and dripping down the center of my back. The burning in my throat and nose made my shoulders hunch up and my eyes watered terribly, blurring my vision and making my bathroom look like nothing more than wavy lines of white and dark blue.
Finally, after gagging and coughing and flushing the toilet half a dozen times to get the image and the smell of vomit out of the room I sat back. I was on my knees like I really was praying to the porcelain god and rested back on my haunches. Panting, I took in great gulps of air as sobriety quickly seeped in and I thought of what had happened this whole night.
“If I only would have gone to Tilly’s house.”
You might have had a really nice time. You might have found a good friend. Not like Henry. Not like Monica. But a genuine person. And you blew it.
“I didn’t blow it. I could stop by her house tomorrow and make things right.”
Did you forget you are leaving to go back to New Hampshire? You’re going to get the boot from your own father while Jenna stands behind him, her arms folded over her fake tits and that smirk on her face.
"I won't give them the chance," I said out loud. My voice echoed in the little room and bounced back at me.
Are you not going to say goodbye to your own father?
“He never says anything to me. He doesn’t ask me anything. He just tells me. Lucas, I’ll be in Hong Kong for two months. Lucas, the New York office is a mess. Be back in a week. Lucas, I’ve been working so hard I’m taking Jenna on a vacation. What the fuck?”
Why didn’t I tell Tilly what I wanted to tell her? Why didn’t I tell her that I needed her right now? I just wanted to talk to someone who had sense, someone who would just listen. Why did I say those things to her?
Now I had no family, the girl I liked hated me and I was being shipped back to school to await orders from my new step-mother about the life she and my father had picked out for me.
They only picked it out for you because they think you are too much of a fuck-up to do it yourself. They’re right, aren’t they?
I didn’t want to hear my own thoughts. I didn’t want to hear Jenna and my father either. Pushing myself up off the floor I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t recognize me. My skin was a sickly gray. My eyes were bloodshot and my lips were red and chapped from the acid that tore over them. I looked like a punk kid who tried to run with the big dogs but proved he’s only good enough to sit on the porch.
I shuffled out of the bathroom and flipped on every light. For a second the harshness stung my eyes but I quickly blinked it away.
In my closet was my Globe-Trotter James Bond special edition luggage set. I had only used it twice on a trip to Aruba with some buddies. Yes, it was to show off completely. The second time was a trip to my grandmother’s house in Virginia. That was my mother’s mother. She had no idea who I was and died about two months later.
This luggage cost $12,800. If I had a garage sale I'd be lucky if I got $200 for the whole set. Not because they had fallen in value. But no one would pay $12,800 for second-hand luggage. I chuckled.
It was sharp stuff. Sleek black leather with pristine, shining silver hinges and locks. I rubbed my hand over it and wondered why I hadn’t used it to take to school.
Because you were having a hissy fit with Jenna, remember? You showed her. You went to New Hampshire with nothing but the shirt on your back. Got held up by TSA at the airport because you looked so fucking suspicious. Had to buy new everything that day paying extra for delivery. Yeah, you really showed her.
I didn’t want to hear it but I couldn’t escape my own thoughts. What was wrong with me? Was I cracking up? Was there a strain of insanity in my family that maybe I was starting to show symptoms of?
"No, Lucas," I muttered. "You're just a jerk."
I grabbed the largest suitcase and began to pack. I would clear out my room as much as I could. I popped in my earbuds and blasted some Social Distortion to drown out my thoughts and any other gross sounds that might seep through the walls from down the hall.
By the time the sun started to come up I had all my clothes and a couple of keepsakes packed up tightly and ready to go in four of the six suitcases. The last thing I grabbed was my high school yearbook.
I sat down on my bed and felt my legs cry out in
relief. I’d been standing almost the whole night walking back and forth and stretching and bending. I hoped most of the poison I had drunk was out of my system and I looked forward to a hot shower.
But it had become a compulsion. Every time I touched my yearbook I had to look at Tilly’s picture. We all had a quote we had to add to our picture. The instruction was something that captured our personality. Mine was YOLO. It stood for you only live once. Clever, right?
Tilly quoted Star Wars. “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” Funny, right? I remember her saying she was going to quote Star Wars and everyone thought it would be THE Star Wars quote “May the force be with you”. Then she pulls out this goofy shit and surprised everyone.
I remember being bothered that she did that. I didn’t even know her. This was before meeting at graduation and certainly before she came to my house. I thought she was odd-ball. Just a whack job chick because she didn’t notice me. It didn’t matter that I didn’t notice her until she parked her crappy neon next to my Ferrari. That was only once.
But the fact she fooled me and was unpredictable made me mad. That is the sure sign of a lunatic. I looked at her picture and my heart twitched. Pulling out my earbuds I looked at my phone. The little blue light didn't blink. That meant I didn't have any messages. No one called me, not even Henry.
I never felt this lonely. I never thought I would. I never thought I’d cry about it either. But I did.
Chapter 22 – Tilly
“Sandy, the last time you tried to fix me up with one of Brian’s buddies I ended up consoling him over his divorce. The guy cried over a song on the radio in the car. That isn’t normal.” I sipped my coffee on my front the front porch of my house. The weather in Minnesota was similar to that in Illinois. Today it was a beautiful cloudy day and the smell of fall was in the air.
After accepting the third offer that came from the law firm of Gray & Stein in St. Paul, Minnesota I packed up everything and rented a small house on the outskirts of the big city that turned out to be only twenty-three minutes from Sandy's house where she lived with her now-husband Brian and their two kid, Jacob who was two and Mary who was 6 months.
This wasn’t the most glamorous job I could have had. I was offered one job in New York and another in New Jersey but I declined them both. I had spent enough time on the east coast to last me a lifetime. I wanted the calmer and, quite frankly, more rational temperament of people from the Midwest.
“Yeah, I suppose I should have waited to introduce you two.” Sandy concurred.
“How is Tyler these days?”
“I think he checked into a sanitarium right after you guys went out.”
“That’s comforting.”
“Not because of you, Tilly.”
“Let’s hope not.” I took another sip of my coffee and propped my feet up on the railing. “I think I might go buy some pumpkins today. It’s a nice day to go to a pumpkin patch.”
“That would be a fantastic first date. I’ll call Karl and tell him to take you.” Sandy interrupted.
"No. Sandy," I whined. "I don't want to go to the pumpkin patch with Karl. I like my solitude. If I can't hang around you and your family then I prefer to be alone. What is that quote if you can’t stand your own company your not fit company for anyone else? Isn’t that how it goes?
“Yeah. That creepy psycho in the movie Misery said that exact same thing.”
“Yikes. That must be where I heard it.” I mumbled.
“Okay, I won’t suggest Karl take you to the pumpkin patch. Go ahead and search for the Great Pumpkin on your own. But you’ve lived here now for over a year and I think I’m the only person you know.” Sandy’s voice was full of concern.
“Did you talk to my mom?” I snapped.
“She’s just worried about you. She is afraid that you’ll turn into a spinster.”
"That term went away with the Victrola record player and handlebar mustaches." I griped. "Besides, spinsters usually aren't lawyers. They're librarians or school teachers. You guys need to read a book once in a while.”
“Okay, I’ll tell her you’re doing fine.” Sandy conceded.
“Thank you.” I grumped. “Are we still on for coffee on Wednesday?”
"Yes. The little monsters are with their dad all morning. It is Take Your Runts to Work Day and they just love going to the recruiting office."
“They do? How can you tell?”
“I can’t but I tell Brian that and he swells up all proud and then starts to cry.”
“He’s a Marine. I’ve never heard of a Marine crying as much as he does.”
“It’s the kids. He can’t believe he helped make something so cute and huggable.” I could see the smirk on Sandy’s face. “The problem is that he usually stares at them while they are sleeping. He rarely gets home in time to see the psychotic episodes that take place before they exhaust themselves.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“But let me tell you a little bit about Karl. I really think you’ll like him.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Stop rolling your eyes and listen to me. He’s never been married. He has a farmhouse in Moline. That’s only about an hour away.”
“How do you know him?”
“He’s in Brian’s Civil War reenactment group.”
“Oh, Lord.”
“Just listen. He knows how carpentry and makes his own furniture. That bench on our front porch, that he made.”
"That thing is lovely," I said sincerely.
“Right? Now there is one thing.”
“What?”
“It’s a little weird but really no big deal.”
“Spit it out, Sandy.”
“He has polythelia.”
“What the hell is that?”
"Well, it's commonly known as a triple nipple."
I waited for the follow-up giggle or chuckle to indicate that Sandy was joking but there was nothing.
“You’re joking. Brian told you to tell me that.”
“No. He’s seen it.”
“Sandy, is it Minnesota? Have all the oddities of the country just moved here because I don’t remember there being this many weirdoes in Chicago.”
“Just remember you moved here.” She replied quickly.
“I’m not going out with a tri-nippled guy. It ain’t happening.”
“It’s not like he’s got it on his forehead.”
“Sandy.” I laughed. I just don’t think I’m interested in dating anyone. Extra nipple or not. I’m just not interested.”
“Well, what about being interested in making a friend.” She pleaded. “You don’t have to marry the guy. But maybe he’ll end up being a good buddy. Someone you can call over to kill a spider or change a light bulb you can’t reach. IS that so bad.”
I sighed.
“No. That isn’t so bad.”
"Then maybe I can tell him you'd like to meet for a drink or something some time. I'll tell him you're just a nice person. Because you are, Tilly and more people should know that."
“Well, I’m pretty sweet on you, too, girl.” I looked at my watch. It was only nine-thirty on Saturday morning. I had the whole weekend free for the first time in over a month. My job kept me busy and I just wrapped up two back to back trials. One turned out well and the jury awarded the plaintiff next to nothing. The second went completely sideways and we were told to pay double what we’d offered to settle for.
“It happens.” my boss told me. “They can’t all be winners. You’ll get them next time.”
If I had the exact same outcome in New York or New Jersey they would have me walking the plank. That’s how those places operated and why they could pay so much. Because they knew they had a revolving door and in the long run they were getting the most work for the least amount of money. No job was worth getting an ulcer over.
“So I can give Karl your number?”
I let out a deep breath.
>
“Yes. But wait a while. Don’t call him right this second and tell him to call me immediately. Just tell tri-nips in a couple days, okay? Can you do that for me?”
“Yes. That I can do.” I could hear the smile in Sandy’s voice.
“Have you ever seen it?” I asked.
“No. Gross. What do I want to see a guy with three nipples for? Is the circus in town?”
I nearly passed my coffee out my nose as I started to laugh. Shaking my head I promised to call her later. I pressed the red disconnect button and slipped the phone into the pocket on my tacky green terry cloth robe. My fuzzy bear claw slippers had my feet sweating but that was okay.
“Oh, there you are.” I cooed. “Think you can just show up now after I’ve already had breakfast and coffee alone. You might just have to go hungry.”
“Meow.”
The calico cat slinked up the front steps like he were the most popular cat in town. His head was high, as was his tail that tickled the railing posts as he passed by. His eyes were gold and stared up at me while I slowly rocked on my porch swing.
Once I lowered my arms, that was the signal he could jump up in my lap. His motor instantly began to run and I received an affectionate head-butt on the chin.
"Yeah, all right. Did you have fun out here all night?" I scratched behind his ears. "I don't see any gifts. No dead mice or birds for mama?" He purred in my face. "Typical male." I squeezed him to me as I stood and went to the house locking the door out of habit behind me.
