by Jill Shalvis
Oh God. So Brooke had been wrong about him not fooling around. She stilled and dropped her gaze to stare at his chest, wondering how long it might take to clean up the mess if she killed him right here and now. “Define ‘screwed up,’” she said carefully.
With a finger under her chin, he brought her face back up to his. “It’s not what you’re thinking. It never will be. Brooke shocked me with what you believed about me. She was like a pit bull about it, too, but I convinced her—I hope I convinced her—and I plan to convince you, too.”
Brooke had taken on Linc for her. Something to think about. “But—”
He put a finger over her lips. “What I mean is that I’ve screwed up my priorities. I get that you think I’ve forgotten our vows, but I haven’t. I wouldn’t. We’ll circle back to that in a sec and discuss why you think I could ever, would ever, do that to you or the kids.” He paused, and in the silence, she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. “Mindy,” he said. “You need to know that you’re not the only one not getting what you want or what you planned on.”
Now her heart completely stopped.
“I’ve missed out on being with you and the kids,” he said. “And the years are going by too fast. I’m trying to fix that.”
The words were both a balm to her soul and a worry. “Do you mean it? Because I don’t want to be the one who makes you do something you don’t want to do, Linc. That will only cause more problems.”
“No, it won’t. I’ve let my life rule yours, and that’s not fair. I want to be around more for you. Starting with Hawaii.”
This caused a surge of excitement. A long time ago, they’d planned to honeymoon in Hawaii, but she’d been three months pregnant and sick as a dog when she’d walked down the aisle. They’d canceled the trip and had never been able to reschedule due to Linc’s crazy work schedule. “Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not.” He smiled. “I rescheduled it for two weeks from now. Your parents said they’d come stay at the house and watch the kids if we needed them to. Ethan’s going to handle the practice while we’re gone, and beyond that, he’s going to have to step up to do his fair share.”
The hope dwindled as fast as it’d come. She didn’t want to talk bad about his dumbass brother, but, well, Ethan was a dumbass. “Linc—”
“He owes us.”
“Yeah, he does,” she said. “Because you’ve always been there for him, but he’s never returned the favor, not once. You know damn well he’s going to pull the poor-me routine and back out on us at the last minute.”
“Not this time,” Linc said firmly. “He promised. And I’m promising you.” He took her hand in his and drew her in closer, pressing her palm to his chest. “I missed you, Min. I want this. I want to make you happy. I’m pretty sure I’m going to make mistakes. Hopefully not too many, but we both know I will. I’ll try to learn from each of them, though. Is that enough for you?”
She drew in a deep breath, still raw from her talk with Brooke. She’d really thought she’d gotten herself together, but as it turned out, she was more screwed up than she’d thought. “I want it to be.”
“Okay, we’ll start there.” He was watching her think, his gaze pensive. “Do you really think I’m having an affair?”
She looked away from his searing gaze. “I don’t know what I think. You’re always gone, working with cute nurses and doctors. We never see each other. Why wouldn’t I wonder?”
“Because we’re married and I love you.” He shook his head. “Remember when my dad was dying, and Ethan and I agreed as his sons to take over his practice? We talked about that, you and me, about the long hours, about me being gone a lot, and you said it was okay with you, that I should step up and handle the practice rather than sell it.”
“I did say that,” she said. And at the time, she’d meant it. But that had been before Maddox had been mobile, plus a couple of crazy, sleep-deprived years during which she hadn’t always felt human. “And I still think you did the right thing. I guess I just didn’t realize how much you’d be working. I thought between the two of you, you’d actually be working less.”
“It’s been a busy season.” His eyes never left hers. “And as for cute nurses and doctors . . . you’re the only one I want.”
She really wanted to believe that, but it was hard. “Do you remember the last time we made love?”
“Of course.” He paused, clearly thinking, and then flashed a sexy smile. “Before I left, we got into the costume chest and played my favorite—the sexy flight attendant, whose job it is to cater to her only passenger’s every whim. You gave me the best blow j—”
“That wasn’t right before you left. That was over a month ago.”
He blinked. “No.”
“Yes. And I’m asking if you remember the last time we both had an orgasm.”
Another slow blink. “It was that same night,” he said.
She cocked her head. “Was it?”
He paused, staring at her. “Min,” he finally said softly, pained, clearly upset at himself.
“No, it’s okay. I can’t remember the last time I had an orgasm, either, so it’s not all on you. It’s more because I never have enough energy to really concentrate.”
This seemed to shake him even more. “You have to concentrate?”
She let out a breath and closed her eyes. “I haven’t felt sexy. I’ve felt . . . overwhelmed and behind on everything, and I never have a second to myself. Before this past week, I can’t even remember the last time I was in the bathroom alone. But it’s even more than that.”
“I know,” he said. “You think I don’t see you anymore.” She felt his hands gently take hers and she opened her eyes to find that he’d stepped closer. Slowly, he raised their joined hands to his mouth, brushing a kiss across her knuckles. “Min, to me, you’re still the only woman in the room. In any room. Tell me what you need.”
“You,” she whispered. “I need you.”
His eyes darkened and he closed the gap, brushing his body to hers. “You’ve got me.”
“That’s not what I mean.” She gave him a gentle nudge back because it was hard to think when he turned on the charm. “I’m not sorry that I’m a mom and a wife, but I can’t be those things if I’ve lost myself. I think I need some more time.”
He gave a slow nod. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I took the kids to the park and then to dinner yesterday, and I needed a nap afterward.”
She let out a low laugh. “So a few hours on your own with them and you were done in?”
“I love my kids,” he said. “They’re . . . amazing. But holy shit, they’re also the cutest little soul-suckers I’ve ever seen.” His smile faded. “Time to yourself. To find yourself. Done, Min. What else?”
“You know it’s not going to be that easy.”
“We’ll make it easy,” he said.
“I’ve asked Brooke to stay for a little while. I don’t know if she will. We’re . . . not in the best place.”
“And you want to fix that, too.”
“I want to fix everything,” she said. “I need to, in order to find my happy.”
His hands slid up her arms to cup her face. “We’ll do it. We will. Just keep talking to me, okay? Keep telling me what you need.”
She nodded.
He smiled and nudged her backward until the mattress hit the backs of her knees. As he urged her down, she opened her mouth to tell him that she didn’t know if she was ready, but he gave her a gentle, tender kiss and then . . . covered her up with a blanket. “Sleep,” he said. “Let’s just start with sleep.”
It was one of the sweetest things he’d ever done.
WHEN SHE WOKE up a solid eight hours later, she was alone. Linc appeared in the doorway. Maddox was snoozing on his shoulder. And drooling.
Her heart melted.
“He woke up a couple of hours ago,” Linc whispered. “I’ll get them ready for camp.”
Wow, she
thought. Maybe they had a shot after all . . .
Chapter 10
“I’m feeling a lot of things, Brooke. But pity isn’t one of them.”
Brooke woke up on the floor. At some point in the middle of the night, she’d fallen off the couch and just stayed down. Now she had a kink in her neck and she felt like twenty-eight going on eighty-eight.
She eyed her phone for the time and found a group text from Cole and Tommy.
Cole: In the interesting news department, I managed to do my job and yours this week. Which means I’m not sure why I pay you, other than that your sweet and sunny disposition is such a joy.
Brooke: You miss me. Cute.
Cole: I’m not cute.
Tommy: True. He’s been moping around all week.
Brooke: It’s because my job isn’t as easy as he thinks. And I’m still gone because you were both stupid enough to let Mindy work you over like a bunch of amateurs. So now it’s going to be a bit longer.
Cole: How much longer? Tommy makes shitty coffee.
Brooke: Aw. That’s almost romantic. And it’s hard to say how much longer exactly, because in MY interesting news department, REALITY CONTINUES TO RUIN MY LIFE.
Tommy: Yeah, but are you getting any? I’m on a sex fast to cleanse my palate.
Brooke: On that note, I’m out.
Cole: You didn’t answer the question. And let’s be clear, the right answer is no, cuz you miss me too much.
Brooke: I’ve been taking care of three kids. Not only am I not getting any, I’m too exhausted to get any. But I do miss you. Both of you.
Cole: I could be there in four hours and fix all your problems.
Brooke: I know, and thank you, but I’ve got to do this alone.
Tommy: Alone isn’t as much fun.
The convo quickly deteriorated into boy/sex humor. Brooke slipped her phone away, got up, and stretched. She found Linc in the kitchen feeding the kids. Or at least she thought maybe that was his intention, but there was a lot of commotion going on. The kids were running around like puppies, yelling and laughing and yelling some more.
Garrett came in the outside door and ignored the mayhem in the way only a man could, grabbing a big bowl, adding cereal. He and Linc reached for the nearly empty gallon of milk on the counter at the same time.
“Wrestle for it!” Mason exclaimed, and all the kids clapped their hands in glee.
Linc and Garrett grinned in unison and sat at the table, where they began to arm wrestle, staring deep into each other’s eyes.
Rolling hers, Brooke stole Garrett’s cereal bowl, added the last of the milk, grabbed a spoon, and leaned back against the counter to eat as she took in the show. “Are you two serious right now?”
“Very serious,” Millie said. “This happens a lot.”
“Who usually wins?” Brooke asked.
“Uncle Garrett.”
“Thanks, baby,” Linc grunted.
“You do good, Daddy. Uncle Garrett just does gooder.”
Garrett smirked.
The men were pretty evenly matched; the only sign of struggle as they continued to arm wrestle was that both of their faces were flushed, their bodies tense with exertion.
Idiots. “You guys realize that no one’s ready for camp yet, right?” she asked the room.
No reaction. Both men were starting to sweat now. Clearly this was going to take a while. She leaned in, keeping her voice down. “Maybe the two of you could play this game of Whose Dick Is Bigger later, when impressionable children aren’t watching and learning how to become Neanderthals.”
Neither responded. They probably didn’t have any oxygen left in their pea brains. She let out a piercing whistle and everyone froze, including the guys. She pointed at Millie. “Go get dressed for camp.” She pointed at Mason. “The same for you.” She looked at Maddox. “How you doing, kid?”
He patted his bum through a pair of shorts. No diaper. She high-fived him. “You’re my favorite.”
“Hey!” Millie yelled from the other room. “I heard that!”
“Good,” Brooke yelled back. “Help your brothers!” She looked at the guys. They’d stopped arm wrestling at least. Linc hadn’t showered or combed his hair. He was in a dirty T-shirt and sweats, no shoes. “Wow,” she said. “You look like shit. And not at all like a man who got his wife back last night.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m trying to regain her trust. Maddox had an accident at four a.m., so I had to get up and start laundry. But then Mason got up because he was thirsty, and he spilled OJ everywhere, so I’ve got another load to do and I haven’t even managed to switch over the first one yet.”
“Sometimes success is just getting the laundry into the dryer before the mildew sets in,” she said.
Linc just shook his head.
“I have no idea how Mindy’s kept her sanity this long.”
“Uh, in case you haven’t noticed, she hasn’t.”
“I’m such a dick.”
“No arguments here,” she said. “And also, my work here is done.” She headed out the door.
“You’re leaving?” he asked, sounding panicked.
“Don’t worry. You can google how to work the dryer when you forget.” She gave him a little smile. “But no, I’m not leaving leaving, at least not today. Figure you might need me to yell at you some more.” And plus . . . she wasn’t quite ready to go, which made no sense. She’d done what she’d come to do. Handle Linc. Have it out with Garrett . . . She accidentally looked over at him and found him watching her, giving nothing of his thoughts away. She turned from him, too, feeling unsettled and off and . . . sad, all at the same time, never a good combination for her.
She heard Garrett rise from the table. “That wasn’t a tie,” he said to Linc. “You forfeited.”
“No way. Brooke stopped us.”
“Yes, and she’s your sister-in-law.” The implication being that she was related by marriage to Linc, and nothing at all to Garrett.
But he’d kissed her. He’d touched her. He’d looked at her in a way that told her she was more than nothing to him. So she was confused, to say the least.
Then he came close and relieved her of the cereal bowl. Holding her gaze in his, he took a bite and then left the room.
With the cereal.
Ass.
“What’s with you two?” Linc asked.
“Nothing.”
“Want to try that again and make me believe it?”
“Nope.”
Linc took that in stride in the way only a man who couldn’t multitask would. “I know I can fumble my way through taking care of my kids,” he said, “but I don’t know what to do for Mindy. Help?”
“I think maybe you’re already starting by just being here for her.”
“That can’t possibly be enough. If you were me, what else would you do?”
“I’d make her waffles.”
“Is that because Garrett just stole back his breakfast and you want waffles?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “But also because Mindy loves waffles and rarely lets herself have them. But you should also make pancakes because, well, you’ve met her. She needs choices.”
“Good idea. And here.” He handed her a key.
“What’s this?”
“The key to the guesthouse. Now that I’m back, I’ll take the kid watch. You don’t need to be woken in the middle of the night. And you’ll have more privacy.”
She took the key because she was done with the living room floor. “It’ll only be a few days,” she repeated. “At the most. You’re going to get it together and keep it together, yeah?”
“Yeah.” He slung an arm around her neck and brushed a kiss to her temple. “But you’re welcome to stay as long as you want. We miss you. I hope you know that.”
She’d gotten by for years now because she’d cut ties to her emotions. But those emotions were suddenly spreading through her like wildfire, going after her heartstrings.
Stupid heartstrings
.
She lugged her backpack and the ridiculously huge duffel Mindy had packed for her out to the guesthouse and stood in the doorway. “Guesthouse” was a fancy way to say “pool house.” And since it was filled with crap, it was really just a closet.
But it was all hers, all 250 square feet, including the tiny bathroom and kitchenette. She’d take it just to escape the insanity of the big house. Dropping her stuff, she moved to the far wall. It was all windows, and that’s where she discovered an unexpected bonus.
A direct view into Garrett’s kitchen.
And it was like Christmas and her birthday all in one, because he was currently shirtless and sweaty and doing pull-ups in the doorway. Her mouth went dry and her body tingled, both of which were majorly annoying. But damn, she missed intimacy. Or at least the illusion of it. She wanted a man’s hands on her. She wanted to feel a warm, hard body against hers and have it take her outside herself, if only for just a little while.
The thought had her aching. Shaking her head, she pulled the shades down and stripped for a shower. Only problem: The water didn’t get hot. Or even lukewarm. She waited a few more minutes to be sure, but nope. Just icy-cold water. She could handle a whole hell of a lot of things, and had, but a cold shower wasn’t going to be one of them.
With a sigh, she wrapped herself in a towel. Going back to the big house to shower meant joining the circus, and she needed a few minutes to herself. Out the window, she saw Garrett crossing the yard. He’d dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, a tool belt strapped low on his hips, looking better than any man had a right to look. He went into Mindy’s house.
Brooke took a good look at Garrett’s place. She’d bet her last dollar he had hot water. And as a bonus, his house was empty . . . Grabbing her duffel bag, she slung it over her shoulder and stepped outside, looking right and then left to make sure the coast was clear before sprinting barefoot across the yard.
Garrett did indeed have hot water. In fact, his shower was heavenly. She used his soap, which turned out to be a mistake because now she smelled like him, meaning sexy as hell. Just pressing her nose to her own arm nearly gave her an orgasm. Dammit. She turned off the water and had to open the door to clear the steam. When she could see, she nearly swallowed her tongue.
