by Wood, Lauren
That left me going all by myself and I can't say that I was too happy about it. I felt like I was being attacked on both sides. My father had chastised me for the way I acted at work today. I don't really blame him for that, because I had been completely out of line. I was just so shocked to see Frank there. I knew he was going to be there, he told me that he would be, but I couldn't believe it. He was not only working for the company, but he was my boss now. It had just been too much and I had lost my cool for a moment.
I told myself that I wasn't going to do that again. I was going to go over to my parents’ house and be as civil as I possibly could be. At the same time though, it wouldn't have hurt my feelings all that much, if they would have decided that it would be easier if he went to another branch. He could be one of the VPs somewhere else. He didn't have to be here. Or I could go. I didn't even really care at this point, as long as I didn't have to see Frank every day.
There was a small hope inside of me that my father would see how distressed I was about the whole situation and he would fire him. That would probably be the best scenario that I could think of, but I knew that the chances of it happening were very small.
When I got there, there were several other cars in the driveway that I didn't recognize. I hoped that there would be that many more people there. I think that dealing with my parents and Frank at the same time, was more than enough excitement for me.
Frank was outside and he was standing next to my father on the porch. They were smoking a cigar and laughing about something. That just grated my nerves even more than before. Why was my father all of a sudden buddy-buddy with him? Ten years ago, he didn't even think he was worth dealing with and now something had changed. The problem was that none of it made any sense. Why was Frank worth it now? He had some money, sure, but his bloodline was still the same and that was what they said was the problem.
My father greeted me and I said hello to be polite. I did not say hello to Frank and before I was forced into it, I went into the house. I know that this was supposed to be a time for us to reconcile, but I still do not think I wanted to do that. There was no reason for us to be friends. There was no reason for us to be anything as far as I was concerned.
When I got in the house my mother was in the kitchen and I gave her a hug. She had this weird look on her face and I could tell by it, that she had talked to dad. He never understood me and this was just a prime example of the fact that I don't think he was ever going to understand me. My mom though, she had been a little bit more easy to deal with in my younger years. My father was unrelenting, but my mother had learned to give in a lot. Most likely because she was married to him.
“Are you ready for this evening?”
I told her that I wasn't and she agreed. “I didn't think it would be a good idea, but you know how your father is. He thinks that he could make things happen whether they are meant to or not. Just do the best you can.”
I had to wonder for a minute what exactly that meant. Did she mean that she wanted me to try and get along with Frank? My mother had been very vocal about the fact that she didn't think Frank came from a good family. My father had been right along with her, but it was my mother that had been against Frank from the beginning. She had told me that he was too much of a player to ever be a husband.
‘How could you be with somebody if you are constantly looking over your shoulder to see if they were doing you wrong?’
That's what she had told me then and it had stuck with me. It helped make it easier to deal with the fact that he had pulled my heart out of my chest and stomped on it. My mother framed it in a way that made me feel like he was doing me a favor. At least he was revealing himself and his true nature then, instead of years down the road when I’d wasted all my time.
“I just want this night to be over with.”
“Believe it or not, Lisa, so do I.”
“Really? I would have thought that this was your doing. You are the one that always wanted everybody to get along, as long as we weren’t together.”
“I know what that boy did to you. I remember you coming home that night. You stayed in your room for almost a week and you would have gotten a failing grade in math because you weren't there for the test. Everything that you had been working so hard for, would have been for nothing. All because of him. I remember quite well and I will admit that I was a little surprised and upset with your father for hiring him. I knew there was going to be problems.”
My mother didn't usually speak ill about my father at all, so I was a little surprised at that. But I was feeling a little bit better. At least someone else knew what I was going through. My mother had brought up a lot of memories that I didn't want to think about. All of that hurt that I had experienced for those dark weeks after we broke up had changed me in a way that I could never really explain.
“I couldn't believe he hired him either. Not only that, he's my boss!”
I was working myself up thinking about it and then I heard the door close and the screen door slam. They were now in the house and my mother looked at me. She had a look that told me it was time to stop the conversation, but I was already way ahead of her. I just wanted to get through the night.
Dinner was as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. We spent half of it listening to how great Frank was. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought that my father was trying to set me up with Frank. It would have been funny, if it wasn't so maddening. Ironic more than anything else.
After it was over, I tryied to get myself excused from the table, but instead, I was sent out to have a drink with Frank on the porch. It was on my father's request and for some reason I just went with it. I don't know why my father was acting the way he was, but I just played the part of a good daughter and went out for a minute.
As soon as we were out there, Frank started to talk and I just told him to shut up.
“I don't know what the hell you said or did to make my father act the way he's acting, but just know that I see right through you. I don't care if you have convinced them that you're a good guy. I know better.”
Frank looked at me a little strangely for a moment and I could tell that he was taken aback. It was much like the first time I had seen him after all these years at the wedding. It felt like so long ago, but it really wasn't.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
“Do I really have to answer that?”
“So you do hate me?”
“Yeah, I really do, Frank.”
It wasn't the first time that I had said or thought that, but I knew that it was the truth. After everything he had done to me, the only thing I could feel was hate. I wish I could get to the point that I didn't care, but I wasn't there yet. Right now it was still hate.
“You know what they say about hate, Lisa. To hate someone, you have to have strong emotions for them.”
I scoffed and shook my head. He really didn't get it and I was starting to wonder if he was genuinely delusional.
“You can think whatever you want, but I'm done talking to you. I'm going to stay out here for a few more minutes to please my father and then I'm going in the house. I really have nothing to say to you.”
“And how are we going to work with each other? You can't just pretend like nothing happened and keep this hostility between us.”
“I have worked there for a long time and I'm going to go to work tomorrow and do my job. That's what I do every day. If you don't want my hostility, then maybe you should find a different job. I'm not going anywhere. This is my family’s business.”
“I never said that it wasn't. I just want to find a way for us to get through this.”
This time I snorted, because I couldn't believe what he was saying. He really just didn't get it, did he?
Instead of waiting around to make my father happy, I just walked away from the house. I really didn't care what he thought at the moment. I needed to get away from Frank. There was no way that I could be around him right now.
10
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Frank
Just when I thought our last meeting couldn’t get any worse, we had this one. It all started out so well. I knew that her father was trying to mend bridges and I still wasn't sure why exactly, but it certainly had not worked. I think she was even more mad at me, now she told me that she hated me. I mean, it wasn't really a surprise, considering what happened between us, but it was still hard to hear it. I loved her and I didn't want to hear about how she hated me. That was literally the last thing I wanted to hear.
Even in the midst of it though, I liked to see her anger and how beautiful she was in it. She said she hated me, several times, but I liked to think that there was something more there. I didn't want to believe that there was no way for us to work through this. I even felt like being yelled at by Lisa was better than nothing at all.
It made me smile and I went inside for a few more minutes before I bowed out gracefully for the night. I wanted to mend things between me and Lisa, but I wasn't going to be able to do it with everyone around. This was something that was going to have to happen between us and I was sure of that. All I had to do was spend some more time with her alone. Then, she would see that I was for real.
I have never had a woman turn me down and I didn't think it was going to start now. She just had to remember what it was like when we were together. We had some good times, before I screwed everything up. All I had to do was remind her of that.
The next day at work, I went in early and I was surprised to see that I was not the first one there. It wasn't even seven o'clock in the morning, yet I could hear someone clicking on the keyboard. When I got down to where the offices were, I could see that it was Lisa.
“Good morning.”
She looked up from her work for only a minute and then back down. She mumbled something that could have very well been a good morning, but I couldn't tell. Whatever it was, it was half-ass, but I wanted to stop and talk to her for a minute. It still didn’t feel like it was the right time. I had to find a way in and at the moment, I was coming up with nothing. How was I supposed to win her over?
When we were in school together, it really came down to just coincidental meeting. She had been my tutor and one moment she looked at me, those eyes, that face, and I had seen how beautiful she was. And just like that, we were together.
The problem was, that I couldn't use that tactic this time. We weren’t young anymore and I had realized a long time ago, that women just got more complicated with age. Considering the distance between us lately, it wasn't that hard to come to terms with.
The hardest thing I was having a problem with, was the fact that I was stumped. I never felt this way before. If I wanted something, I just got it, it was just that simple. Now, everything was questioned and it was not a normal feeling for me. It wasn't a feeling that I liked either.
Later I had to call a meeting to get everyone on board. The company was very large and it had many components to it. There was research and development of new technology, as well as all sorts of manufacturing arms that took care of not just the production of many products sold by the company, but there were several contracts to build others people’s products.
Since we worked in the main headquarters, everything was filtered through here. It was a big job and a big opportunity. I was new to this sort of work. Everybody knew that I was a football player, so I had a lot to prove.
Now, I had to show them that I also had a business side. I went to college for four years to play football, but I had also gotten a diploma like everybody else. I had spent a lot of time proving how tough I was, but now I wanted to prove that I was more than just a guy who could take a hit.
The meeting started at nine oh five and most everybody made it in to work on time. There were a few people that I noticed coming in a little later and I was going to make sure that I said something to them later. There were a lot of little problems that had to be taken care of and Lisa's father brought me on for that reason. He figured that I could be tough and get the job done. A lot of my experience had come with being my own manager and making some good contracts. I had done it to better myself. It was then that I realized I really enjoyed business. It was a revelation that took me by surprise.
So I was nervous, because not only did I have Lisa mean-mugging me from the other end of the long table, but I also had twenty other people looking at me for answers. There was a little hostility and I wasn't sure what it was from. I had a feeling that a little bit of it must be from the fact that many thought I had taken Lisa’s job. She had been working at the company since she left college and it would have seemed natural that she would have taken over. She was family after all.
I never really asked Clinton why he did not want her to be the VP. But as I looked out at all the people looking back at me from the conference table, I could see that they were wondering the same thing. Why would he hire an old football player to be the second in command of his company, when his daughter was right there? She had done a damn good job of keeping everything in line and the company was more profitable than it had been ever.
“Thank you guys for come into the meeting. I believe in quick meetings, but every day. It's good to get a stock of what needs to be done for the day and I think this is the best way.”
I could already tell that some people weren't too impressed with it. I don't know if they had many meetings before, but especially at first, I wanted to get to know everybody and I wanted to know everybody's strengths and weaknesses. I also wanted everyone to get to know me, so that I could open a line of communications. I was more of a hands-on boss and I was hoping for a better reception than I got. I had several note cards that I didn't even go over because there was just a weird vibe in the air.
At some point, I asked if they had any questions. I knew the only way that I was going to be able to strike up a conversation with everyone was to be completely transparent. I told them if they had any concerns, I wanted to hear about them. I wanted them to know that I was there to make it better.
Then the questions started and of course, the first one was about me playing football. Several of the guys in the office knew that I played professionally or they had seen me play. They wanted to ask specific questions about specific games and plays that I’d done many years ago. I tried to answer as many questions as I could, but it became clear that nobody had anything to ask about the actual job itself.
At that point, I just kind of ended the meeting, though I knew I didn't get near what I wanted to get done, done. I was just going to have to be happy with slow progress for the moment.
Everyone was filing out of the room slowly and I could see that Lisa was falling behind.
“I don't think I've seen you choke that bad since homecoming.”
“Tough crowd.”
“Maybe just like then, you don't have the skills to deliver what you promised.”
And for a moment, I forgot that she hated me and had told me so the night before. I got a little closer to her and whispered something in her ear.
“Of all the problems that we had, Lisa, me delivering my skills was never one of them. You being able to handle them…now that was something.”
I almost kissed her cheek, but I pulled myself away and at the same time, she pushed me back on the chest.
“That may be so, Frank, but I learned a long time ago that it certainly doesn't mean everything. Lust is just a distraction more than anything else. Although I am glad that I came to the meeting to see you fail so miserable. It's good to see somebody else getting humiliated.
She walked away again and as much as I was peeved at her comments, I still enjoyed the fight. What was it about Lisa, that made me want to keep trying? I didn't have to. I could easily call up several women and have them in my bed every night of the week if I wanted to. But at some point, I realized that it wasn't enough. Just like at the party last week. I was surrounded by people but I still felt alone. I have never felt that way with Lisa.
11
Lisa
On some accounts though, it was worse. I was nervous around Frank pretty much all the time. Since he was my boss, that meant that I had to work with him quite a bit. There were some issues with some of the contracts we had and the machine fittings of certain factories. It was a big problem which required us to go out to several of the factories. That meant that I was going to have to travel with him for about a week to four different locations. That meant more time together and I knew that it was going to be hard.
The first few days were okay because we were so busy that we didn't even have time to be awkward. We were at the factories most of the day and left about six. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was dinnertime and I would just order something in. He asked me several times to go out with him, but I just told him I preferred room service in my pajamas.
That worked alright for three days, but then on the fourth day after I hung up the phone with him, I heard a knock at the door. It was Frank and I was already in my pajamas.
“I thought the pajamas thing was just a thing to say.”
I looked down at the shorts and camisole and shook my head.
“I hate business attire. I wear it because I have to, but it is a necessary evil.”
“You use the word hate a lot.”
“Fine, I dislike business attire. It's more comfortable this way.”
