“Keep your fucking wig on,” Dan said, pushing in line, bringing Nicky with him. Drift was farther down the line, sandwiched between two girls.
“You will get the shit kicked out of you one day,” Julian said to Dan, none too happy to see him and Nicky here. With us.
“Who’s that with Drift?” Nicky twisted his head, leering over the crowd. “He could face swap with the one on the left and I wouldn’t know the fucking difference.”
I laughed no matter how wrong it felt. He narrowed his focus onto me. “Angel, you look sexy as all hell today. Did you like what you saw the other day? There’s more if you feel like ditching your boy here.”
Marilyn threw a funnel fry at Nicky’s head and he opened his mouth, catching it and eating it. “Nicky,” she said, “Word is, you’re a virgin.”
“Marilyn, how the fuck can I be a virgin. You were sucking my dick last night.”
“Oh that’s what that was? My bad, I never noticed.”
Getting on the ride wasn’t nearly a long enough break from all the childish chatter, but so far, every day I was spending with Julian, Jordan was sinking farther into less important territory. My temporary fix was working.
<>
Julian handed me a chocolate malt and bought a soda for himself. I took one look at the freezing dessert and a smirk worked its way free. “Is this what I think it is?” I asked, knocking into him with my shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said. “Just drink it.”
“Even though I’m not twelve?”
“Even though you’re not twelve.”
The sun was setting, the multicolored lights from the carnival a burning fire under the inked sky. The smell of frying onions soothed me, and I couldn’t recall the last time I’d had this much fun. “Didn’t Taj want to come?” I asked. “I assumed he’d jump at it.”
“He’s with his dad this weekend.”
“Oh. That’s nice.”
We passed the portable toilets and Julian handed me his soda. “Wait here.”
I hung around on the grass. There was a line he had to wait in so I pointed to the selection of booths, letting him know where I would be. I wandered past, none of the games catching my eye enough to want to hand over my money. It took me a while to factor in Kit walking towards me, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail and a red jersey dress to her thighs, glued to her curves. She smiled when she saw me, her gaze intentionally seeking out who I was with. “I thought I saw you earlier. With Julian…”
“Yeah, he’s, huh, over there.” I waved my hands toward the porta-cabins.
“So, he did it, then?”
What was she talking about now?
“Did what?” I took a sip of my melting drink.
“You guys are with each other 24/7. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s fucking you now, instead of me. He is, isn’t he?”
Speechless. That’s what I was.
“I want to get a few things off my chest while I’ve got you alone. I wanted to like you, Angel. You looked like you’d be a good friend, but that wasn’t why I let you hang out with me. I’m pretty close with all my friends, but the key is keeping my enemies closer.” Her finger came out towards me. “And you, Angel, are an enemy. I thought taking away the temptation and stuffing you under Julian’s nose would sour that temptation. But it did the fucking opposite. I let Jordan into my circle, hoping you would do what was right and go back to your screwed-up partnership. But not even that worked.”
Kit snickered, her lip curling and her true dislike of me spilling to the surface.
“But there’s one thing you don’t know.”
As much as I wanted to ask what that one thing was, I knew it wasn’t a good idea.
“He fucked you for a bet. A lousy bet with Nicky that he could get you into bed. Don’t you feel silly knowing you fell for it?” Her eyes blazed. She looked evil. Pure, unadulterated evil. “Hook. Line. And sinker. I should be thanking you really. There’s one thing I have to feel good about.”
Do not ask what.
“He slept with me out of choice. No wagers involved.”
Satisfied, Kit slinked past me in her heels, her arm banging against mine, knocking me unsteady. No amount of deep breaths could diffuse the anger that was swirling around, pounding through my heart and crashing against my rib-cage, fighting for a way out. I had given Julian everything. He took my hurt and he tried to heal me. He took me out of my pain and he made me smile. He let me into his life and I was happy there.
I wasn’t ready to be kicked out so soon.
Not when things were so good.
But it wasn’t real. None of it was real.
He had slept with me for a bet. It made sense. He had gone from the bane of my existence to inconceivably tolerable in no time at all. We were standing still and now I was falling to the fucking floor.
Again
How could this be happening all over again?
I knew what we had. It wasn’t love, it was freedom—a holiday from the pitfalls of life. But the sun had fucking set and I would make sure he knew it.
I didn’t wait for Julian. I wound my way through the booths and rides in a blind rage till someone snatched my arm from the crowd. I was angry enough to attack, until I saw it was only my dad. “Your mom and I need to talk to you.”
I trailed behind him, each breath of cotton candy-filled air bringing me back to earth. My mom sat at a bench and table, her anxious gaze on us.
“She’s here,” my dad said as I sat down, dividing my gaze between them. “Out with your newest and most outlandish idea.”
“What’s this about, Mom?”
She took a few too many seconds to answer.
“I’m going back to California.”
This didn’t catch me between the eyes like it should have done. It only ignited the fiery anger I was already battling to control.
“And I want you to come with me. Before you say no, you should know I’ve met someone. His name is Luiz, and he’s a wonderful man. I would love to take you home with me, Angel. It’ll be like old times. Me, you, the sun, sea. Home isn’t home if you aren’t there.” She paused for thought, and from the hot look my dad was lasering into her. “But only if you want to. This is your decision to make. Lo que quieras, baby.”
Going home to California. What I’ve wanted since I came here, settling on BU as the only lifeline. And the timing was perfect down to the last second. I could leave this place and the people behind, all my shit existing here and I could walk away from it without looking back. It wouldn’t follow me—it would no longer exist.
“Can I think about it?” I asked.
My mom had to hold back on how happy she was, her teeth biting down on her to lip to suppress her smile. “Sure thing, baby. I have a spare ticket. Just say the word when you are ready and we are out of here.”
33: Julian
ANGEL WASN’T AT ANY of the booths where she said she would be, but I recognized Kit from the back, slipping between a food truck and a ball game in a bright red dress. I chased after her and she slowed down when I caught up. “Have you seen Angel? She said she would be here.”
“She was,” she said stoically, her tapping foot against the dirt a restless habit.
“So where’d she go?”
“Once I told her how you stripped her of her dignity over a bet, she left. As you can imagine.”
“What?” I took a step closer, my fingers itching to stretch out and grab her.
“Someone had to tell the poor girl. She was disillusioned.”
“You are the only one who is fucking disillusioned. Where did she go?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Her tongue swept over teeth, her lips pouting. “You fucked me, and now I fucked you. The world not bending to your will anymore, Seven? Welcome to my fucking world. Sucks, doesn’t it?”
“Sucks to be bitter.”
“You made me this way!”
“Get out of my fucking sight.” I shoved her to the side and search
ed the carnival twice over, four miles covered in less than half an hour. Marilyn and Mario were on their way to the exit and I caught them up, my breath heaving from my chest. “Have you seen Angel?”
“Uh, yeah.” Marilyn balled up her candy wrappers and threw them in the trash. “She just called. She left already with her mom and dad. I thought you’d gone with them.”
I wiped my hand over my jaw, cussing silently.
“Yeah, man,” said Mario, his lips pressing together. “I know that look.”
I drove to Angel’s building and stood outside her door, my fist pounding the wood. Her roommate opened up, covered head to toe in green flannel. She narrowed in on me through her glasses and her mouth fixed into a taut, pinched scowl. “What are you? A flaming bulldozer?”
“Is Angel here?” I looked past her, but the modest room was empty. Still, she could be in the shower. Barging in seemed a bit drastic, though.
Mia pushed the door over, blocking my view. “She isn’t. Bye now.”
I put out my arm, pushing the door back open. “Has she been back here at all?”
“No,” she said with exasperation. “She was with you.”
I paused for an annoyed sigh. “Well she isn’t with me now.”
“Then I suggest you somehow learn to get over that. Now if you don’t mind, I was reading.”
“Will you tell her I came by when she comes back?”
Mia rolled her eyes behind her glasses. “I warned her hanging out with you was a mistake.”
“How nice of you to go out of your way like that.”
Her hostile gaze turned up a notch. “I’m closing the door now.”
I stepped back and the door slammed shut in my face.
<>
All my calls to Angel went ignored and however much I hated it, there was nothing else to do but go home. It wasn’t like I could stalk the girl. Her no-shit roommate would call the cops on my ass. I could go to Kit’s and let my crap out on her, but I’d got myself in the situation, all Kit was guilty of was blowing the lid on my sin-bin.
I went home, my mom’s date wiped from my conscious memory. I was soon reminded when I interrupted her and Gary drinking coffee on the couch in the dark, apart from a few flickering candles scattered on the coffee table. I flipped on the main light, the spotlight an instant regret on Gary’s unflattering figure. Mom looked like his care-worker, sitting next to him in black dress pants and an ivory camisole, and more make up than I’d seen her wear. Gary wasn’t so put together, his belly straining against the buttons of his—what was that?—purple or pink shirt, I couldn’t fucking tell. But it was doing zilch for his pink face. The only hair on his head had years-ago pulled away from his crown, hiding out around his neck and ears.
I flipped the light back off. I’d seen enough.
“Julian,” My mom said with an edge in her voice. “This is Gary Rollins, you remember Gary, my boss at Remy’s, don’t you, Julian?” I swear she was grounding out my name between her teeth in a threat. My face must have been portraying more that I meant it to.
“Hi, Julian. Nice to see you again.” He stood up, the couch sagging with the shift in excessive weight. He walked up to me and shook my hand. “Big time ball player, huh? I used to be one of those.” He rubbed his hand over his paunch, a repressed smile coaxing at his mouth. “This was once muscle. Can you believe that?”
I turned my mouth down. “Aren’t you a bit young to let yourself go like that?”
My mom jumped up and crooked a finger for me to follow. “We won’t be a minute, Gary.” She shut us in the kitchen, her voice lowered to a hushed anger. “You are going to back out there and find some way to excuse your inexcusable behavior. You don’t like Gary? Don’t talk to him, don’t be around him. But don’t you dare insult my friend in my own home.”
“He’s the guy you want to be seen with? You’ll be the laughing stock.” I rivaled her angry whispering with my own. “He’s wearing half a hairstyle. Where’s the other half? Safe keeping?”
“Is that really how I raised you?”
“No.” I sighed. She was right. I’d brought my shit home when I should have stayed away. “I forgot it was today you were seeing him. He surprised me, and tonight was a complete fucking bust. Has Angel been by here?”
“Oh, I get it. You do something to mess up your own night, so you come here and take it out on Gary because he will never be runner-up in the beauty contest? Julian, before you pick and dissect everyone else’s faults, do something about your own.”
The kitchen door opened and Gary stood on the other side. He coughed and a glittering layer of sweat prickled the top of his head. “Now listen, I know you may not have heard the most flattering things about me, and believe me, I know better than anyone that I am reaching for gold with your mother. But I want you to know, son, that I would appreciate one chance to prove you wrong and that I have her best interests at heart. No one knows how lucky I am to be spending this night with her more than me.”
Bit much, but hearing him say he basically knew what a class-A, office worm he had been made me feel better about him being here with my mom.
“She said nothing bad,” I said, listing all our past jokes about Gary in my head. “Sorry to ruin your night.”
That was my best attempt at an apology and I left the house and got in the car. Going to Nicky’s was fatal the way I was feeling, but I couldn’t go to bed with those two downstairs. And I liked the idea of staying close to campus and where Angel might be.
Nicky and Rocco were set up on the PlayStation, Madden 15 on the screen, and Dan was giving Dionne a lesson on how to build a joint. Her hot friend—I forgot her fucking name—sat playing with her cell on the floor, a candy necklace draped round her neck. “Hey, Julian,” she said when she saw me, her gaze travelling everywhere. “I missed you at the fair.”
“Yeah,” I said. There wasn’t much more to elaborate with on that. I went to the kitchen and poured a bottle of jack into a clean glass, adding some coke for color. I slouched down in the chair and took the joint when it was passed my way. The candy necklace blonde unfolded her legs and sat on the arm rest of the chair, her legs lying over mine.
“Bernadette,” I deadpanned, but pretty pleased with myself for remembering.
I offered her the joint and she took it, sliding it between her glossed lips. She sucked on it, blowing out a stream of smoke. She leaned down, showing off her emphasized chest, her fingers rolling the candied beads over her skin. “Wanna bite?”
My gaze dropped to her cleavage, cushioned just under my face. “Maybe later,” I said. “Actually, do you mind?” I lifted her legs off me, pushing them to the side. She was squashing my dick. “That’s better.”
I arched my back against the couch to make room, and take my phone from my back pocket. I called Angel’s number again and was sent straight to voicemail. I tried three more times before I accepted she’d turned her phone off.
I’d fucked up big time.
I looked up as Kit came through the doorway in the same skimpy dress from earlier. My fist tightened around my glass to stop from throwing it at her. I’d thought everyone that was here was in this room. She pretended not to notice me and prowled over to Nicky, curling up next to him. I watched as her fingers rubbed over his thigh, inching higher and higher up. He knocked her hand away with his elbow, his hands gripping the controller. “Kit, can you not see I’m busy?”
Her hands continued their mission and he moved over, squashing up against Rocco. “Watch it, man,” Rocco complained. “You trying to sit on my dick?”
Kit kept on acting like none of us were in the room with her. “What the fuck, Nicky? I have leprosy now?”
“You cause too much ag. Katlyn’s got me begging like a dog thanks to you. Let yourself out, yeah?”
“I didn’t stick my dick in myself, Nicky. I believe that was you.”
“I never knew you were using me then.”
Rocco paused the game, throwing a sideways look of disbel
ief at Nicky and Dan cracked up, mistaking it as a joke. Nicky sounded like a pussy, but he wasn’t wrong. The only reason Kit had sex with him was in the hopes I’d find them going at it. He wasn’t hurt, though. He could act like it, but if he could go back and do it again, knowing what he knew now, he would jump at it as quick as he did the first time.
“Laugh all you want.” Nicky pulled papers from a pack of Rizla and separated a bud of weed. “I’m deadly fucking serious here.”
“Go fuck yourself, Nicky.”
“Fucking bitch!” he shouted as Kit got up and left. “Don’t come in my house again. You’re barred.”
Kit banged her fist against the window from the other side of the glass. “I didn’t come the first time!” Nicky spun around on the chair and banged back against the window, Kit’s face moving away. She flipped him off with both hands as she backed off.
“Has Katlyn forgiven you for hooking-up with her friend?” Bernadette asked. Her legs were gradually falling back over mine but I’d finished my drink and I was too tired to get her off me a second time, and my dick was safely out of harm’s way.
“Not yet. But in a few days, it’ll be like it never happened. That’s why we ball, right, Seven? So we can get away with this shit?”
“Right,” I said, only half listening.
<>
I woke up on Nicky’s couch with Bernadette’s head on my chest and her legs wrapped around mine. I took a clump of her hair from off my face and pushed myself up, working my way from underneath her without waking her up. I freed my legs from hers and climbed over her, grabbing my shirt from off the floor. There was an insistent thudding in the back of my head and the time on my phone gave me an hour before morning practice. The rest of the house was silent apart from Nicky’s snoring rattling the walls from all the way upstairs.
I threw back a glass of water and changed in the washroom into sweats and a clean T-shirt from the car. My only hope was to catch Angel this morning when she wouldn’t be expecting me. The odds of her wanting to speak to me let alone give me another chance, were odds not worth dwelling on. I drove to the campus ice rink and waited in the bleachers for the figure skating club to show up. My muscles were stiff with apprehension and from a bad night sleep. I’d drank too much to remember how I’d fallen asleep wrapped up with Bernadette, but I was fairly certain it was all innocent. I twisted the cap on a bottle of Gatorade and guzzled the much needed energy boost.
Falling for Seven Page 30
