“Please, sit down,” he said, indicating a chair near him with his hand. “We don’t get many visitors down here. Well, not human ones anyway.” I tried to obey his request, but his comment had temporarily removed my ability to command my legs to step forward. Robert, who had followed me into the room, walked up to the chair nearest to this strange man and pulled it back for me.
I unwillingly approached it as Kris took the chair closest to the young lady and helped himself to some potatoes, carrots and a chicken leg. Once I was seated, Robert took the chair next to mine and began to put food on the plate in front of me.
“May I introduce Persephone, my wife,” the man said once we had started to eat. The young lady smiled. She had dazzling blue eyes that were full of warmth. Persephone. That name, too, rang a bell. As I chewed on a corn-on-the-cob, my mind worked through my memories until it found the one I wanted.
“Holy shit,” I exclaimed, dropping the corn onto my plate. “You’re Hades.”
The man shrugged. “Hades, Pluto, Osiris, Thanatos, Abaddon, Yan, Tuoni, Yama. Over the years I have had many names. Currently I am calling myself Frank.”
“Frank?” Robert said in disbelief.
“What is wrong with Frank?” Hades asked.
“Nothing,” Robert replied hastily. “I was just a little surprised, that’s all. Maybe I should introduce myself.”
“I know who you are Rob and why you are here,” Hades said. I know he said he calls himself Frank, but that doesn’t mean I have to. It just feels wrong. “You were expecting to meet Death tonight, were you not?” he continued.
“Yes,” Robert said with obvious discomfort. He glanced at me anxiously then back again to Hades. “He kidnapped my girlfriend and I want her back.”
“A very noble cause,” Persephone said, filling her glass with wine before passing the carafe to Kris. “It’s a shame my son is not that noble.”
Her son? Who was she referring to? Robert asked out loud what I had been thinking. “Who?”
“My son. Death,” she replied as though that was a perfectly normal statement. If Death was her son, who was his father? I looked at Hades, who smiled at me. Did he know exactly what I was thinking?
“Our son,” he corrected his wife. “And the most problematic of our four offspring.”
Four offspring? No. I had to be wrong, but I voiced my thoughts anyway. “The four horsemen of the apocalypse?” I said. Hades and Persephone both nodded. Could this night get any weirder?
“You are the parents of the four horsemen?” Robert asked. He, too, was finding it hard to believe what he was hearing. “As in Death, War, Famine and Pestilence?”
Again the pair nodded.
“Wasn’t Pestilence originally called Conquest?” I asked, vaguely remembering the bible classes I had to attend when my parents went through their religious phase. The smiles dropped from our hosts’ faces. What had I just said?
“Not exactly,” Hades said. “When Conquest died, we decided to have another child. Most humans have forgotten our first born.”
“How on Earth does the son of the god of the underworld die?” Robert asked, oblivious to how sad the pair had become. I kicked him under the table. When in Hell it is best not to ask questions that could upset its rulers.
“Not on Earth,” Hades replied. “In the sea. One of my brother’s offspring forgot that Conquest could not breathe underwater. He took him to the bottom of the sea and he drowned.”
“Frank has never gotten over the loss,” Persephone said as she stood up, walked behind her husband’s chair and began to rub his shoulders. “Our nephew was so guilt ridden he killed himself and spent a few centuries down here, being tortured until he eventually earned forgiveness. His name is still not allowed to be mentioned in my husband’s presence.”
There was an awkward silence which was ended by Hades yelling at Kris. “Stop that right now.”
“What?” he asked, pulling his hand up from under the table. The look of innocence on his face was completely over the top. He knew exactly what he was being accused of and was obviously guilty.
“You are feeding that damn dog under the table again.” It was definitely a statement not a question.
Kris looked under the table theatrically. “You’re not under there are you Cerberus?” Upon hearing his name, the dog barked. “Traitor,” Kris said before sitting upright.
“Come here Cerberus,” Persephone called and the dog obediently crawled out into the open.
It was at this point that my efforts to convince myself that this was all some weird dream completely failed and I started to scream.
Robert rushed to my side and tried to calm me down. “It’s got three heads,” I stammered.
“Yes,” he said. “I thought you knew your mythology.”
“We’re really here, aren’t we?” I asked and began to shake uncontrollably.
“I think the young lady needs to get some sleep,” Persephone said and before I knew it Robert and I were being escorted from the room. We were taken up the stairs and shown to separate rooms. Mine had a satin nightdress lying on the four poster bed. I was too numb to ask how they knew we would be staying the night.
“I understand how frightened you must be,” Persephone said. “I felt exactly the same the first time I came here. Then again, I had been kidnapped.” She smiled at me. “Try to get some sleep. You are perfectly safe here and we will try to answer all your questions in the morning.” With that she left the room, shutting the door behind her.
So here I am, sitting on the bed and writing in my diary because I am too wound up to sleep. I never dreamed that Robert was serious about travelling to Hell and now that I am here, I really wish I had never agreed to accompany him. How are we going to get home? Will this room be my prison for the rest of my life? Who knows? All I can do is try to get some sleep. At least I know that tomorrow cannot possibly be as weird as today has been.
5th December 2002
How wrong I was. Surprisingly I managed to fall asleep and had no nightmares. When I awoke I found that my clothes had been washed and ironed and were in a neat pile on a chair. I quickly got dressed and looked around the room. The sun was streaming through the gap in the curtains, lighting the room enough for me to not need to turn on a light. Not that there was a light switch, I quickly realised. There were numerous candles in candlesticks, but none were lit.
The room was spacious, with minimal furniture. Other than the bed, which was at least king size, and the chair, there was also a chest of drawers and a dressing table. This was obviously a woman’s bedroom.
Apart from the door through which I had entered, there was one other and I tried the handle. It was not locked, so I tentatively pushed it open. It was a private bathroom, complete with mirror, sink and shower. There was even a glass containing what looked like a brand new toothbrush and toothpaste. I quickly brushed my teeth and was contemplating taking a shower when there was a knock on the door.
“Are you decent?” Robert called out, opening the door without waiting for a reply. “How did you sleep?”
“Surprisingly well,” I said. Further talk was interrupted by another knock. This time the visitor waited for permission before entering.
“Breakfast is being served,” Kris said when I opened the door for him.
We were led, once again, to the dining room where Hades and Persephone were already eating porridge. There was a large steaming pot in the middle of the table, so I helped myself to some and took a seat. Robert didn’t. Instead he addressed Hades.
“Look,” he said, somewhat abruptly. “While I appreciate your hospitality, I came here to confront Death and reclaim my girlfriend. I demand to see him right now.”
I stopped moving with my spoon half way to my mouth. Robert was having a go at the Lord of Hell. He has done some pretty stupid things before now, but this had to take the biscuit. One wave of his hand and Hades could turn Robert to dust. At least I think he could.
Hades, however, smiled.
“You have guts, I’ll give you that. And you’re going to need them.” I did not like the sound of that. “My children do not live with me; they each have their own part of the realm. Not that they are ever in it,” he added under his breath.
Hades went on to explain that he knew what Death had done and he understood why Robert was trying to find him, but that would not be as easy as he believed it to be. Before Death would agree to meet with him, Robert would have to prove he was worthy to Death’s three siblings, each of whom had assigned a task for him to complete.
“Kris has volunteered to be your guide,” Persephone said, “and Rachel may assist you if she wishes.”
Robert looked at me. ‘No,’ I wanted to scream. ‘I just want to go home.’ But how could I? I had travelled to Hell to help him. What sort of friend would I be if I chickened out now? Instead I nodded my head.
Robert was all business. “When do we start?”
“I suggest you eat something first,” Hades said. “Your journey is not going to be easy.” Robert, somewhat reluctantly, took a seat and began ladling some of the porridge into a bowl. “Please excuse me,” Hades continued, “but I have some urgent business I must deal with.”
He stood up to leave the table, revealing his large stomach. I had been too strung out to notice it the previous night, but this morning I was more observant. I would never describe the Lord of the underworld as fat (at least not to his face), but next to his slim wife he definitely looked in need of a good diet. I found his build surprising. Surely a god could change his appearance to make it more, what was the word? Appealing? Flattering? I found I had to bring my spoon up to my mouth to obscure my smile and I was relieved when Hades left the room without noticing.
The meal passed slowly with Kris and Persephone making small talk. Robert was eager to get going and wolfed his food down, but Kris was taking his time, so Robert was forced to wait impatiently. He started to drum his fingers on the table, so I kicked his ankle to get him to stop. I did not want our guide through Hell being irritated with us before we even began. What would happen if he decided to ditch us?
“We should get going,” Kris finally said, causing Robert to jump up.
“About time too,” I heard him mutter under his breath. I just hoped that Kris had not heard. I had a feeling this was going to be a long and uncomfortable journey and Robert’s impatience was only going to make it worse.
“Grab your bags,” Kris said. “You will not be coming back here.” That did not sound good. I just hoped that he meant there was another way out of Hell, like some sort of back door.
Robert and I ran up the stairs, grabbed our bags from our rooms and met Kris once more in the corridor. He, too, had a backpack on, but it didn’t seem to contain much.
“How long will we be gone?” I asked, wondering why he had no provisions.
Kris shrugged. “That depends on what tasks you need to accomplish.” That didn’t help, so I continued.
“What about food. Should we be taking much with us?”
“No. We will find all we need on the journey.” OK. So we were going to have to scavenge for food while we travelled. Wonderful. What sort of food would be available in Hell? Would we be hunting demons for lunch? I shivered and forced my mind away from such thoughts.
“What mode of transport will we be using?” Robert asked as we left the house. Having seen the speed boat, I guessed he was hoping for a Jag or a Ferrari. No such luck.
“Our feet,” came the reply. “There are no roads down here so we cannot use a motor vehicle.”
“What about horses?” I asked, remembering that the four horsemen were supposed to ride everywhere.
Kris shook his head. “There are no horses in the underworld. At least none that you would be able to ride,” he corrected himself. What on Earth did he mean by that? Or should that have been ‘what in Hell did he mean by that’? I didn’t ask. I’m pretty sure I would not like the answer.
“We will seek out Pestilence first,” Kris said. “As the youngest, he is most likely to set a fun task.” Seek out Pestilence. Never in a million years did I think I would ever hear someone say that. “Before we leave this area, however, I have something to show you. Follow me.”
Like sheep, we obeyed and he led us across a beautifully manicured lawn, through a gate in the surrounding wall and toward what I could only describe as high rise apartment buildings. They were a dull concrete grey and looked completely out of place with the scenery we were leaving behind. I felt like I was heading toward the poorer part of a large city like London or New York.
As we approached I realised that there wasn’t just one or two of these buildings, but dozens of them, hundreds maybe, stretching out into the distance as far as the eye could see.
“What are those buildings?” I asked. I could not understand why Hades would have something so dreary so close to his wonderful house and gardens.
“That is what Hell is truly like,” Kris said. What, no fire and brimstone? No devils whipping their victims? Boy had the film industry got it wrong. It was almost disappointing.
Kris saw the look on my face and I’m sure he knew what I was thinking. “Don’t judge until you have seen inside,” he said.
He was right. After we left the first building, I didn’t want to see any more. I think I would have preferred the heat and the physical torment.
He led us to the closest tower block and opened the door, ushering us inside. It was filled with doors, each with a barred window in it. I changed my mind. This was not a block of flats but a psychiatric hospital.
“Take a look inside,” he said, gesturing toward the closest door. I hesitated, so Robert approached first.
“I don’t understand,” he said, pulling away so I could see inside. I had mentally prepared myself for unspeakable horrors, but all I could see was an old man sitting in an armchair, watching TV. I looked at Kris in confusion.
“Everyone chooses their own Hell. Look more closely.” I did as I was told and saw that the man was crying.
“I still don’t get it,” I said.
Kris glanced inside and sighed. “This man murdered his wife. They had an argument about her watching too much trashy TV and he hit her with a frying pan. He has now doomed himself to watching reality TV for eternity.”
“What a stupid punishment. Is Hades insane?” Robert said loudly.
I gasped, expecting Kris to react in anger, but instead he chuckled. “I often think so, but never say anything within his hearing. But this is not his doing. The old man inside believed he deserved to go to Hell for what he did to his wife and this is the torment he unconsciously chose.”
I was struggling with what I was hearing. “Are you trying to say that he wanted to come here?”
“Sort of, yes. Nobody comes here unless they believe they will. The method of their torture is then extracted from them.”
“You mean Hades reads their minds?” Robert asked.
“No,” Kris said, shaking his head. “The buildings do.”
I had to see more so I looked into another room. Inside I saw a woman cowering in the corner of the room as snakes slithered across the floor, getting close to her, but never near enough to touch her.
The next contained another woman. Her mouth was open in a silent scream as spiders crawled all over her. The following one had a man surrounded by screaming toddlers. I spun to stare at Kris. “There are babies here?” I asked. It was almost an accusation.
Kris frowned, then looked through the window. “Ah,” he said, as though the sight answered his unasked question. “The children are not real. They are just illusions, as are the spiders, snakes and the TV.” He gestured toward the door he had just looked through. “That man there got drunk while looking after his young daughter. He fell asleep and didn’t hear her crying. He eventually woke up to find her dead at the bottom of the stairs. He killed himself a few days later.”
I shivered. What would be my eternal torment if I ever ended up here I wondered. “D
o they really stay here for all eternity? That seems too cruel, no matter what they have done.”
“No,” Kris said, shaking his head. “Everyone stays here only until they are forgiven.”
“Who by?” I asked. “Hades?”
“Themselves,” came the unexpected reply.
Robert, who had wandered down the corridor, looking through more doors, headed back to us. “You said that people only end up here if they believe they will. Doesn’t that mean that some of the worst criminals, the mass murderers for example, avoid the eternal damnation they deserve, while the little old lady who never did anything wrong other than forget to say her prayers now and then could end up here? How can Hades justify that?”
Kris grinned. It was not a happy grin. “You would be surprised at how many of the truly evil people secretly believe they will come here when they die. Of course there are some that don’t, but Hades has a habit of visiting those and whispering in their ears while they sleep. You would be amazed at how easy it is to implant a suggestion in someone’s mind without them knowing.”
“Can you do it?” Robert asked.
“Me? No. Only gods can do that.”
“Can we go?” I asked. “This place is giving me the creeps.”
“Of course,” Kris replied. “I just wanted you to see this place so you realise what Hell really is. It is not the quiet country house you stayed in surrounded by beautiful gardens. That is just Hades’ way of coping with all of the horrific things he has to deal with. The underworld is vast. It can take many years to cross from one side to the other. It is full of truly amazing things, as well as many horrible and dangerous ones. As we travel you may decide to refer to it all as Hell, but to me it is home so I would prefer you didn’t do it in my presence.”
Having said all he needed to, he turned around and walked out of the building with us on his heels. He didn’t explain where we were headed to now and we didn’t ask. I looked behind me as we walked and tried to calculate how many ‘torture’ rooms were housed in the tall grey buildings. There must have been millions. I suddenly found myself glad to be leaving them behind.
Diary of a journey through Hell Page 3
