“That doesn’t look so bad,” I said uncertainly. Robert looked at me as though I had gone insane. “Hey, it was your decision to ride,” I reminded him.
“Is it too late to change my mind?”
“Yes. Now stop acting like a girl and mount up,” I said.
The hydra positioned its other two heads close to the ground and we both climbed on board. I actually whooped with delight when I was hoisted into the air, earning me a look of disgust from Robert. Maybe this was going to be fun after all.
“Ready?” Kris asked when the three heads were positioned close enough that we could talk to each other without shouting. I nodded. Robert said no. Ignoring him, Kris instructed the hydra to move forward.
Wow it was fast. From so high up in the air it almost felt like I was flying. And it was smooth. For something so big and bulky, it certainly knew how to move its legs without shaking its necks.
After a while I was brave enough to let go. Having seen that Kris was not holding on, I unwrapped my arms from around the neck I was on, one arm at a time, and found that I did not slip down.
This was a lot of fun. Robert, I noticed, was still clinging on for dear life. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Kris whisper something in the hydra’s ear (or at least that’s what it would have looked like if the hydra had ears to whisper into). Then the neck I was on started to move up and down, slowly at first, but getting faster and faster. This was better than a ride at an amusement park and I found myself yelping with joy.
All too soon our ride was over and the hydra came to a stop. The sun would soon be setting and it would not be safe to continue at any speed for much longer. The three necks were lowered to the ground and we dismounted, me with disappointment, Robert with relief.
We thanked our mount for the wonderful ride (at least me and Kris did – Robert was too busy hugging the ground) and watched as it stomped its feet a few times to make the ground crack. Once the gap was big enough, it somehow managed to squeeze its body through it, then disappeared from sight.
“Enjoy that?” Kris asked me.
“Hell yeah,” I replied without thinking. Kris ignored my slip of the tongue. “I don’t think I can say the same about Robert though.” We both looked over to where he was sitting on the ground, refusing to even stand up.
We could have walked on for roughly another hour, but the ride had made Robert’s legs turn to jelly, so we decided to take pity on him and made camp where we were.
“We should get an early night,” Kris said as we were finishing our evening meal. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
“Why?” I asked. “What’s ahead of us?”
“We have to cross a big canyon.”
I groaned. “Not more steps.”
“No,” Kris said, unable to keep the grin off his face. “No more steps. This one has a bridge across it.”
“Is that all?” I asked. “I’m not feeling in the least bit tired. I could stay up for hours yet.”
“You will need your wits about you tomorrow, so the more sleep you have the better.” He took one of the things that look like black pineapples out of his bag and proceeded to cut slices from it. “This will help you sleep,” he said as he handed the pieces around.
I sniffed at it, but it had no discernible aroma. I don’t know why, but something about the blackness of it made it look very unappealing.
“Just eat it,” Kris said.
“Yes Sir,” I said sarcastically, but I took a bite anyway, having noticed that Robert had already done so and hadn’t keeled over yet.
It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good either. It was edible; that is about as far as I will go. I politely declined a second slice.
Deciding that I was still way too wired to sleep, I took the opportunity to update my diary. Now I am struggling to keep my eyes open. One minute I was wide awake, the next my eyelids felt so heavy I could hardly focus on the page. At least I have managed to finish writing all I wanted to. I am now going to go to sleep, thanking the heavens above that I only took one slice of the fruit.
Day 31
Robert did not scream at all during the night, so the next morning we rose early, ate a quick breakfast and headed off. A short while later we arrived at the canyon. I walked to the edge and glanced down. It was so deep I could not see the bottom.
“So how do we cross?” Robert asked. “I thought you said there would be a bridge.”
I looked left and right. He was right; there was no bridge in sight.
“We need permission from the gatekeeper to cross,” Kris said, indicting with his arm that we should look behind us.
I turned around and saw that we had walked straight past a small wooden hut. We had both been so eager to cross the apparently non-existent bridge that we hadn’t noticed it.
“It’s very simple,” Kris continued. “We go in one at a time. The gatekeeper will ask each of us a question that we must answer truthfully. If we do so, we will be allowed to cross.”
“And if we don’t?”
“Just be honest,” Kris said. “I’ll go first.”
Instead of a door, there was a curtain at the entrance. Kris pulled it aside and entered. A short while later he returned and he did not look happy.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing I want to talk about,” he replied.
Robert was the next to enter the hut. For some reason I had the uneasy feeling I would never see him again. I started to follow him, but Kris held me back.
“He must do this alone,” he said. “What passes between him and the gatekeeper is for them alone to know. If he comes out alive he will not speak to you about his experience, so do not waste your time asking him.”
Only a few moments later the curtain twitched and a forlorn looking Robert walked out.
“What question were you asked?” I said as I rushed to his side, completely forgetting Kris’s words. Robert just shook his head.
“Your turn,” Kris said and pointed toward the entrance to the hut. Reluctantly I pulled aside the curtain and walked inside.
The first thing I noticed was the heat. It was like walking into a furnace. The second thing was the smell. I’m not sure what it was, but it reminded me of very sweet perfume and someone must have used an entire bottle. The strength of it, combined with the heat, almost made me gag.
“Come closer my dear,” a frail voice called out from deeper in the room. It was lit by only two small candles, making it hard to make much out. I moved slowly toward the voice and tripped over something that squeaked. I fell down, banging my knee hard on the ground. My hands stopped my face from making contact with what felt like a rug and I was just pushing myself up when I let out a small scream. Something had bitten my hand.
“Jill,” the same voice snapped. “That was not nice. We do not bite our visitors. Go and say you are sorry.”
The next thing I knew something small and furry was rubbing itself against my leg.
“What is it?” I asked, unsure if I wanted to move or not.
“It,” the old woman said in a hostile tone, “is a ferret.” I guess she did not like me referring to her pet as ‘it’. “She is my good friend and companion.” How can you be friends with a ferret? Didn’t they have dogs down here? Aren’t they supposed to be man’s best friend? A ferret is hardly a suitable substitute.
I looked at my hand. It was hard to make out in the candlelight, but I thought it was bleeding. Would I need a rabies shot? I decided it would be better if I didn’t ask.
“I wish to cross the bridge,” I said in what I hoped was a calm voice.
“I know that,” the old woman said. “That is the only reason humans ever come to see me. And usually they are already dead.” I suddenly understood why she referred to the ferret as her companion. She must be very lonely.
“I have been told that you will ask me a question that I must answer truthfully,” I continued. “But I am happy to chat for a while first. Would you like me to make you a cup of tea or so
mething?” OK, so I felt sorry for her. I know Robert was in a rush to get to Death, but spending a few minutes being nice to someone in need of some company couldn’t hurt, could it?
I heard the rustle of clothes in front of me and suddenly the candles flared up, illuminating the whole hut. I was standing near a small, thin old lady who had her arms raised as if she had just summoned the flames. She looked at me and smiled.
“Nobody has ever asked me that before. Please, take a seat.” I looked around and found that the hut was completely empty except for a couple of armchairs and the rug I had almost face-planted into. The ferret was sitting on one of the chairs; I chose the other one.
My host picked up the vicious bundle of fur and sat down, placing the creature onto her lap once she was comfortable. “I will be honest with you,” she said as she stroked it. “I do not like humans. I much prefer the company of gods and demi-gods. I find humans are self-centred and convinced of their own importance. That is why I keep this hut so dark. I have no desire to see the people I am talking to and I do not wish them to see me. You, however, have shown me some kindness, so I will make an exception.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Was she a god herself? If so, why would she take the form of someone’s grandmother?
“You want to know what I asked your friend,” she continued. Had she read my mind? “I heard you talking outside.” I guess not.
A wave of sadness crept across her face. “I cannot tell you what passed between us, but I can say that I was unhappy with his answer, though not surprised.” What the hell did that mean? And why was she telling me this?
“But enough about that,” she continued. “I know he is in a hurry, so I will not keep you long. I will ask you one question and one question only. If you answer it truthfully you will be permitted to leave here. If you lie to me you will become Jill’s dinner.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I could not stop myself from asking. She wasn’t. Great. I tell the truth or I become ferret chow. I bet Pinocchio wouldn’t have been such a deceitful little puppet if he had faced being turned into pet food instead of just having his nose grow.
“Are you ready?” the grandmotherly woman asked. I wasn’t, but I said yes anyway. “What do you desire most?” What sort of question was that? To get out of Hell alive? To rescue Tammara? World peace? An end to all hunger and disease? Unfortunately I didn’t say any of those things. I answered without thinking.
“Kris.”
As soon as I finished speaking my hand went to my mouth in horror. What the hell had I said that for? I was going to be served up for dinner for sure. The elderly lady smiled. Great. And I thought she liked me.
“Thank you for being honest with me,” she said. What? I hadn’t told her the right answer. Had I? “Hopefully you will soon be able to be as honest with yourself.”
In a state of complete shock, I stood up and left the hut. I didn’t even say goodbye to my host, or her horrible ferret. Robert rushed up to me. “Are you alright?” he asked in concern. “What happened in there?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. There was no way I was going to be discussing that conversation with anyone.
“What happened to your hand?” Kris asked, taking my injured hand in his and turning it over.
“Jill bit me,” I said as I snatched my hand back. “I tripped over her and she retaliated.” Thankfully Kris did not laugh.
“Give me your hand,” he said.
I ignored him. “It’s fine.”
“Don’t be a martyr,” he said in an irritated tone and grabbed hold of my arm, pulling it toward him. He gently ran his fingers over the bite marks and I watched in amazement as the skin sealed itself. A few seconds later there was no sign that there had ever been an injury there.
“Thank you,” I said and smiled at him.
“Can we get going now?” Robert asked.
“Be my guest,” Kris replied, waving his hand toward the chasm.
Robert started to walk toward it, then stopped. “The bridge is still not there,” he said.
“Actually, yes it is. It’s just invisible.” Kris looked at me and winked. Did that mean he was winding Robert up or was just enjoying annoying him?
“Invisible,” Robert said in a sarcastic tone. “Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“Believe what you want. The bridge has always been there, we just can’t see it. Now that you have passed the test, we have to wait.”
“For what?” I asked with interest.
“For the old woman to reveal the bridge.”
I stared at Kris, unsure if he was being serious or not. He stared back at me and never blinked or changed facial expression. Either he was telling the truth or was a very accomplished liar. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.
We sat down by the edge of the gorge, looking across at our intended destination. Robert sat a little way off, refusing to come any closer. He seemed to be sulking, though whether this was due to the delay or whatever had happened between him and the old woman in the hut was still praying on his mind I don’t know.
“Who is that old woman?” I asked Kris as we sat waiting for the bridge to appear.
“You would probably know her as Rhea,” he replied. “She is also my great-grandmother.”
Shit. So another one of Kris’s relatives now thinks I am in love with him. Wonderful.
I could feel myself beginning to blush, so I quickly said the first thing that came into my head, hoping he wouldn’t notice my skin changing colour and enquire as to the reason.
“So did she name her ferret Jill because that is what female ferrets are called or is it just a coincidence?”
Kris gave me a cheeky grin. He did have a very nice smile. “The question you should be asking yourself is whether humans call female ferrets Jill after my great-grandmother’s pet.”
Good point. Maybe I will research the history of the name ‘Jill’ when I get back home. If I get back home.
“So what about her husband, your great-grandfather? What happened to him?”
The smile dropped from Kris’s face. “We don’t talk about Cronus,” was all he would say. Ooops. I guess that was not a good question to ask.
An uncomfortable silence enveloped us until finally I broke it by telling Kris that I felt sorry for Rhea. “She must be very lonely,” I said.
To my surprise Kris burst out laughing. “You have got to be kidding me. Is she still playing the lonely old woman who has been deserted by all her family and friends role? I would have thought she would have grown tired of that by now.”
I raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
“She is far from lonely,” he continued. “She only comes here when she knows someone wants to cross the bridge. A very long time ago she appointed herself as Death’s gatekeeper, knowing that many lost souls would wish to see him and he is a very busy man. She spends most of her time visiting various family members and, as you can imagine, there are rather a lot of us.”
I wasn’t sure how to react to that. I felt like I had been conned. She had tricked me into being nice to her. Could I take anyone I met down here at face value or did all gods and demi-gods have hidden agendas?
I looked out across the empty expanse and gasped in surprise as a bridge began to appear. I don’t mean it rose up, I mean it just began to appear.
“Was that there the whole time?” I asked suspiciously.
“Of course,” Kris said. “It was just invisible. We did what Rhea wanted us to do, so she has revealed it to us.”
“Could you see it?” I asked. “Could we have crossed at any time without speaking to your great-grandmother?”
Kris grinned. “You catch on quick, don’t you? Yes, I could have gotten us across, but I didn’t for two reasons. One, Rob has to do this journey properly. Rhea wanted the opportunity to speak to you both and what Rhea wants, Rhea gets. Secondly, would you really have been able to cross an invisible bridge? You would have felt like you were walk
ing on air. Personally, I think it would have scared the shit out of you.”
“Excellent point. Speaking with your elderly relative was much more bearable. Even if she did threaten to feed me to her pet rat.”
“Ferret,” Kris corrected me.
“Rat, ferret, what’s the difference? They’re both vermin. So why did you have to endure her interrogation?”
Kris frowned, but it was in anger rather than confusion. “There was something she wanted to ask me and for some reason she did not trust me to tell her the truth. This way she guaranteed I had to.”
“What?” I asked curiously.
His grin returned. “We both know I am not going to answer that.”
Robert had finally noticed that the bridge was visible and walked over to us. “Are we crossing or gossiping?” he snapped at us.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked him.
“Nothing. I’m just impatient to get moving.” I knew he was lying and he knew I knew, but he didn’t elaborate.
Needless to say, we crossed the bridge without any issues. It was made from wood and swayed as we moved along, making me grab hold of the rope supports for dear life, but other than that it was fine.
Kris found another lake for us to camp by and somehow managed to persuade Robert to join him in some fishing, so here I am writing in my diary and waiting for them to return with our evening meal.
I’m still troubled by my answer to Rhea’s question and find myself watching Kris and having to quickly avert my eyes when I realise what I am doing. I am now very confused. Hopefully we will soon reach Death so Robert can reclaim Tammara and I can return to my life, leaving Kris and Hell far behind me.
Day 32
“We have another decision to make in regard to our route,” Kris said the next morning. “We need to get to the bottom of a waterfall. We can either walk down or jump.”
“How high is it?” Robert asked, ever the practical one.
“You don’t want to know.” That was all I needed to hear.
Diary of a journey through Hell Page 22
