by G. Akella
"Don't start again, brother," Max took a deep inhale, then blew out the smoke. "I'm not at all sure that their deaths wouldn't be final, and I refuse to take that risk. Not when every one of your fighters is worth their weight in gold."
"They are born warriors who do not fear death," Phylatrim frowned.
"Then let them die all they want somewhere else, but I won't have it. Did you forget the Ancients will be paying a visit real soon?"
"And my daughter... She—"
"As for her," Max didn't let him finish. "I'm confident that she would resurrect. But we won't let her come to harm, I promise you that."
"Tell her mother that," groused the lord.
"Well, uh..."
"That's actually a great idea—you will tell her that," the werepanther thrust a finger at him, looking very much relieved.
"She's about to be married to Luffy! Shouldn't her husband—"
"Your friend Luffy is already putty in her hands," Phylatrim chuckled. "We know our daughter well enough to know that."
"It may seem that way," Max said, defending his friend's honor. "He may seem meek at first glance, but in battle—"
"I'm no stranger to battle, either," the werepanther grunted. "But then, mm-hmm..." He scratched his chin contemplatively, then gave an irritated wave. "No, it should be you who'll speak to Isida. Now go, your people have already gathered at the tavern. They're waiting for you."
"Very well, I'll speak to Lady Isida. But you'll owe me," Max sniffed, shaking his blood brother's hand and heading for the door.
"We're all going to owe you soon," Phylatrim said softly after the door had closed behind the warrior.
The familiar tavern didn't have a name, and was mainly used as a mess hall for the garrison soldiers. The space was large and got plenty of sunlight, and was furnished with identical wooden tables, each of which could easily accommodate a party of ten. However, those that had gathered here today weren't hungry for food, but rather to listen to Max's story. It was only natural, then, that when the hero of the day appeared, the crowd waiting for him stirred with excitement.
"Pipe down, everyone," Teetotaler commanded as Max gave a wave and started making his way to the table with his squad. "Now, we all listen to the commander carefully and only ask smart, clarifying questions as necessary. The only one who's allowed to ask idiotic questions is me. Viper, Aja, Nixon, Ghost, watch your squads. Any excess noise gets you scheduled for extra shifts of watch duty. Is that understood? If so, then here's the first question," Teetotaler waited for Max to climb up on an empty table next to his squad, arranged in advance so as to give everyone a good view of him. "What's it like being a shapeshifter? A werelion? What does it feel like? You know that most of us gathered here are grownups, and there's no coming back from this. It's not like dying your hair or something..."
"You guys don't know this, but I had an Audi back there," Max stuck his finger upward. "SL-360, 2036 model. Convertible," the warrior smiled at the hum of approval all around him. "Whenever I got into that car, I had the distinct feeling of being transported into a fairytale. Driving it was like being one with the road, the on-board computer spoke with a throaty woman's voice, and it all the bells and whistles imaginable... Having a car like that is almost like having the love of a beautiful woman," turning to Alyona, who was listening closely, Max gave her a playful wink. "The only downside to such a car is the driver—with their retarded reflexes, fears, ideas and desires. What is my point, you may ask?" he scanned the room, then spread his face in the most blissful smile. "The point is, when you shift into a cat, it's like you're that very car minus the driver. Your vision and sense of smell are altered a bit, but the sensations are indescribable. The only thing that gets me is not being able to smoke in cat form. The only thing."
The hall began to buzz excitedly. Taking advantage of the pause, Max slid a pipe into his mouth, then proceeded to tell them about Phylatrim's decision, the skills that appeared in true form, the clan induction ritual, and his conversation with Urkhunt.
"What is he like?" a voice sounded from the Blades' second row. "Could you tell that he's divine?"
"Well, you see," Max said. "When you acquire the true form, you're literally bursting with energy. That's how I felt, at least. So, I'm in the Phantasmal Wood, and then this butterfly flutters past me..."
"And you decided to chase it, huh?" Donut grunted.
"Uh, yeah," Max grinned sheepishly, hearing chuckles all around. "I was about to pounce on it when Urkhunt turned up out of nowhere and inquired if he should get me a net with a ribbon. He called me an idiot—not in so many words—gave me a passive skill, and vanished. Go on, get it out of your systems!" he cried, trying to drown out the roaring laughter while barely keeping a straight face himself. "Just wait till you get your own forms! I'll be watching you!"
"I told you, he and his buddy are like monozygotic twins," he heard Donut saying to Alex. "Gods and bosses swarm to them like flies to you-know-what. I bet you both my daggers he went on to take out some big bad boss."
Max shook a fist at the assassin, waited for the laughter to die down, and continued to tell them about the audience with the Great Prince, the conversation with Redcliff and the revision to the unique quest, the battle that took place three thousand years ago, and the steel shadow that struck down one of the Ancients.
"Redcliff didn't see who it was?" Teetotaler asked at once.
"No," Max shook his head. "He passed out just as it happened, and isn't even certain if what he saw was real. The one thing he seemed certain of was that it wasn't one of the local gods, but then again, the shaman was gravely wounded and could have been delirious. After we talked I built a portal to Syruan, but ended up in some level 280+ zone nearly five hundred miles from here, near the Great Ocean shore."
"That's some misfire," Bonbon chortled. "Never give this man a bow, everyone."
Sitting on the tank's right, Masyanya elbowed him in the side, to which Bonbon made a comically frightened face and covered it with both hands.
"It was an interesting zone," Max continued. "A mountain in the center which reminded me of Ayu-Dag, only a bit smaller. An impressive looking wood surrounding it, with equally impressive mobs. The name of the zone was: Last Refuse of Maloc's First Legion.
"I headed toward the mountain, finding bones along the way. Lots of bones. As I found out later, the First Legion of the Elder Demon of Ruin had been ambushed here by Kirana's boar cavalry after Morrigan had reoriented the portal so that the legion would come out in the Wild Wood instead of Erantia."
"Fascinating..." whispered Aja, a short pink-haired elf, the commander of the Blades' second squad and the clan's third best equipped tank. "So, what of the legion?"
"The legion fought through the ambush, moved into a gorge and fortified their position. The two goddesses were content to leave them there, sealing the gorge and turning it into a level 280 raid dungeon. But then something happened when the game was patched: there was some kind of earthquake which caused a fissure in the rock, right over the hall with the final boss."
Trying to keep his cheeks from blushing as he snuck sidelong glances at Alyona, Max went on to recount his encounter with Chani, the journey to the fox village, Python's surprise attack and eventual downfall. He was especially terse regarding his conversation with Sata: she appeared, thanked him, rewarded him with the earring, and disappeared.
"Didn't I tell you?" Donut's voice broke the absolute silence that ensued. "Our commander has been rubbing elbows with the freaking legate of the First Legion. Watch, soon enough we'll be drinking beer with the succubi in those Desolation Valleys."
"Um, you sure you want to publicize that?" Rexar smirked, motioning at the huntress.
"Oh, it's all right," Masyanya said contemplatively. "I told you guys that I had two pets in my past life: Flopsy the cat and Mopsy the Pekingese. I already got a Mopsy, so all I need is another cat. What I didn't mention, oh great lover of succubi, was that Flopsy was neutered. Remind me, when are
you getting your cat form again? I suppose I can let you keep your name, though Donut and Mopsy doesn't quite have the same ring to it..." the huntress drew a a dramatic sigh, her last words barely audible over the laughter shaking the hall.
"So, next stop is Darkaan? To the Five-Finger Mountain marked on your map?" Teetotaler inquired as the hilarity subsided.
"We move out in three days," Max nodded. "In the meantime, I don't know..." he shrugged his shoulders. "You're free to do whatever. Check out the local flora and fauna, or work on your professions. Tasha mentioned some hills not too far from here—the area might have some mithril nodes..."
"Teetotaler," Viper, the commander of the Blades' first squad, addressed him. "The guys here had a chat, and... We'd like the commander to open the portal to the fox village. We can't think of a better place to spend our three days of R&R. The way he talked about that foxy lady, we feel compelled to build bridges of friendship and cooperation with her. And her people. And maybe her again..."
His squad—four guys and four girls—were all nodding in unison in support of their superior officer.
"Tell your squadmates to get laid more. Or find better partners if it's a quality issue. Myrrha!" Teetotaler turned to a fair-haired ranger. "Et tu, Myrrha? What's Punish going to say when he—"
"Punish happens to be in Vaedarr," the girl parried. "And I don't intend on cheating or anything—I just want to watch. Call it a sightseeing excursion."
"Well, then, don't forget to take Nixon with you—he's a big fox aficionado," Teetotaler sniffed.
"Hey now, leave Nixon alone," a tall blonde water mage, the commander of the Blades' third squad, protested against more chuckles. "I've already got Foxana, and after this morning I'm staying away from proper foxes till the end of my days!"
Seeing Max's confused stare, Teetotaler clarified, trying to speak over the din of laughter.
"At sunrise this morning, the guy went to check on his squad who were on watch duty."
"Uh-huh," Nixon nodded. "And then this black-coated fox comes out. As big as a calf, her level hidden, her eyes shining like floodlights. I nearly shat myself, pardon my French, so the first thing I do is cast Shackles on her. But then she turns into a woman and says to me, 'What the hell is your problem, asshole?' I'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of it. So I'm standing there tongue-tied, and my feet start walking in the direction of the camp all by themselves."
"It was priceless," Teetotaler continued. "It's the crack of dawn, our soldiers are all drowsy as they're getting up off their cots. And here our sentries come trotting out of the forest, with their bug-eyed squad leader right behind them, followed by this chick in shorts up to here," Teetotaler struck his palm just below the waist, indicating the length of the Goddess of Luck's bottoms. "And if that weren't enough, there's the legend above her head. So, as we're all standing there in stupor, she opens a portal and yells out: 'Get in there, you slackers! Your commander is waiting for you at the castle!' All the caravanners, coachmen and two dozen guards must have stood there for a full minute like fountain statues!"
"Naturally, we weren't going to argue," Nixon went on. "We grabbed our stuff and hightailed into the portal. I would've thought your guys had already told you all about it."
"When would they?" Max smiled at the memory of the black-coated beauty. Where had she found the time to change outfits?
"Anyway, she takes mercy on my ignorant person, and hurls me into the portal... Well, she didn't literally hurl me, but the sensation was eerily similar."
By the end of the story the entire raid was breathless with laughter over the mage's earnest retelling of the story.
"Oh, and your man Bonbon... Last night he and these outstanding individuals," he nodded at Viper's near-hysterical squad, "had themselves a binge in their wagon. And since he'd clocked out in their wagon as well, nobody bothered to wake him up in the morning. If it wasn't for my dutiful inspection of all the living spaces for stragglers, he'd still be snoring it up back there. This is all to say, I've had quite enough of foxes for the foreseeable future. And I'd appreciate your understanding in this matter, Teetotaler. All jokes aside."
Max bit his lip to keep from laughing, and took several deep breaths before shifting his eyes to his tank. The latter, true to form, feigned an expression of pure innocence before adding his own two cents to the general bacchanalia.
"We were just looking to unwind a bit," he shrugged. "But the morning's events are a little hazy for me. At first I thought it was just Masyanya kicking up a fuss. She's gotten completely out of hand in your absence, commander. A true moral crusader, fighting to weed out drinking and every vice you can think of. Just look at Donut—the elf is a shell of his former self!"
A new fit of laughter ensued, and that one finally broke Max as he joined with the rest of the revelers.
"Well, commander, are you going to deploy us on that fox village excursion or what?" Viper asked some five minutes later when the merriment finally began to subside.
"We're under strict orders from Sata not to show up there until this rotten story with the Ancients' invasion is behind us," said Max. "But if you just can't wait, I can open up a portal, sure. Only you'll be the ones explaining yourselves to the goddess."
Viper glanced at Nixon, then at Bonbon merrily masticating something or other, and then back at Max, shaking his head.
"In that case, I suppose it's prudent to abstain from visiting the idyllic village for now," he sighed. "Unless, of course, we have volunteers in the audience that feel lucky going up against the goddess of luck?"
That elicited another round of boisterous laughter, but there weren't any volunteers. When quiet resumed, Teetotaler raised his hand and issued a command to his fighters.
"Everybody clear on the plan? You have three days, starting today! We meet at nine in the morning on day four by the castle gates, packed and ready to set out to Darkaan! If you're not ready, you're staying behind! Dismissed!"
He turned to Max and smiled.
"It's unlikely that any one of us will return from this campaign without having died at least once. But Vagabond was right—if we stick with you, epic adventures and phat lewts are a bloody certainty!" Slapping Max on the shoulder amiably, the Blades' commander made for the tavern's exit, whistling some cheerful ditty under his breath.
Chapter 16
"What are you giving me that look?" Alyona closed the book and looked up at Max.
The young woman's eyes were sparkling with mischief.
"How else am I supposed to look at the woman I love?" he smiled at her, turned off the monitor and fell back in his chair, hands clasped behind his head.
Night descended on the Wild Wood. Moonlight flooded through their third-story window, the great bulk of the moon bearing signs of mountains and valleys. The western wind fluttered the translucent curtains, wafting in the pungent aroma of grass, still warm from the day's sun. Nocturnal birds called to one another from the forest, which looked like one big dark blot from their window. Despite the dead of night, nobody in the castle was sleeping. There were footsteps, the screeching doors opening and closing, and more footsteps. A bonfire burned a hundred or so yards from the castle, at the very edge of the forest, with guitar strums and melodious female singing coming from that direction.
The frenetic speed and intensity of the recent days had finally caught up to Max. He was weary. Not physically, no—in that sense he felt better than ever—but the burden of responsibility weighed heavily on his heart. What was going to happen to them? What would they find in Darkaan? Then again, why worry about it now? All the decisions had been made, and they had two full days of rest to recover their physical and mental energies. No sense in stressing over the future. The warrior gave a satisfying stretch and gave a playful wink to his girlfriend, lounging on the bed next to him.
"I hope you didn't forget Luffy's words of wisdom?" Alyona forced a frown and wagged a finger at him before surrendering an endearing smile.
"I remember,"
he chuckled. "I'll wait a few days. But you know..."
"What?" the girl drew her feet to her chest and looked at him quizzically.
"I've never been with a cat, but I will in a few days' time. And what a cat it will be..."
"Quit teasing me! Tell me instead, do you plan on turning into a lion in your sleep?"
"Afraid of waking up spooning with a wild animal?"
"More like, afraid of waking up because your fat ass broke the bed frame!" Alyona stuck out her tongue at him, then flicked a non-existing speck off the sleeve of her nightie.
"I could just sleep on the floor," he shrugged.
"Now that won't do, I miss you too much," the girl set her book down on the bedside table, and gazed out the window wistfully. "Do you even realize how huge this world is? Sometimes I wonder how many people I knew from my past life are in here. Maybe I'll even run into some of them."
"You might run into them, but you won't recognize them," he smiled. "Unlike you, many people changed their appearance during character creation. As for me, you and Roman are the only people I care about. Of course, there's also my ex, former coworkers... But I don't particularly care to see them."
"What about Sergei?"
"I doubt he'll be logging in anytime soon," said Max. "He's got a second kid on the way, and nowadays game capsules are crazy expensive, apparently. And there's only so much fun you can have on a cop's salary."
"You know, I saw Gene Shelestov two days before coming here."
"The one who was crushing on you all through high school?" Max grinned.
"I'm still pissed at you and Roman for that, you know," the girl pursed her lips, but then broke down and giggled. "Why did you have to get him so drunk? You have no idea the licking his mother gave him!"
"Hey, if we didn't get him drunk that day, who knows if you'd be sitting here with me today?" Max smiled. "I remember his mother. Tall and very pretty. She was a journalist, I think. By the way, why did he take her last name and not his dad's?"
